


A Life of Darkness

by Hazel498



Category: Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fluff and Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:54:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 109,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25321981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hazel498/pseuds/Hazel498
Summary: The devastating accident that broke Claire's body and ripped apart her soul was 365 days ago. It was time to move on and take hold of her life again.  Her doctor gave her the name of a specialist who may be able to help her.  She didn’t need more help.  What she needed was a miracle.
Relationships: Claire Beauchamp/Jamie Fraser
Comments: 784
Kudos: 556





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first fanfic ever. I've been in awe of the tremendously talented OL fanfic authors. I'm not sure I can hold a candle to any of them but this story was too eager to remain unleashed. I appreciate your patience as I learn the ropes.

Today was the day. I need to get off my ass and do some serious work to be who I was meant to be. The devastating accident that broke my body and ripped apart my soul was 365 days ago. It was time to move on and take hold of my life again. My doctor gave me the name of a specialist who may be able to help me. I didn’t need more help. What I need is a miracle if I want to get my life back.

Picking up my phone, I take a deep breath and dial. “Hello, NHS Highlands, this is Jamie Fraser, how may I help ye today.” Silence was all that he heard on my end. “Hello, is anyone there?” I think he was about to hang up when he hears me say, “I’m here.” He responds, “Well, nice to hear yer voice lass, how can I help ye?”

I steeled my resolve and said, “I want to set an appointment for a consult.” He sweetly replied, “It would be my pleasure to schedule a consult, can ye tell me yer name and what we can help ye with?” Oh God, I need to tell him my story or maybe I can just say what is wrong with me. A tear slips down my cheek and I debate hanging up the phone. He finally says, “Maybe it would be easier if we just set an appointment and we can send you some forms to fill out and discuss further when you come in.” I breathe a sigh of relief and say, “That sounds great.” 

“Wonderful, let me get ye over to our receptionist. I just picked up the phone because she was indisposed.”

It was a relief to talk to someone who just wants my simple details. I gave the receptionist my info and schedule an appointment for the following week. Normally I would need to wait longer but someone had just canceled so luck was finally on my side. 

I woke the morning of my appointment from a nightmare that plagues my very existence. The crash, smoke, screams, a small bloody hand, were the last images I see before the gripping darkness takes over. My heart races. I panic as I feel the smoke in my lungs, my eyes burning, and feeling as helpless as I did that fateful day and every day since. I wasn’t sure that anyone could help me. Did I deserve a happy life when so many died? So many innocent lives lost and I couldn't do anything to save them.

Feeling overwhelmed, I want to just stay in bed. Be damn the consult and my stupid, meaningless life. Just as I shut my eyes I feel a huge weight on my chest and a big, wet tongue licking my face. Giggling I scream, “Jasper, yuck, your breath stinks.” My best friend and the only reason I still exist yells, “Claire ye best get out of that bed if ye know what’s good for ye. I’ve got a bucket of cold water if ye want a repeat of the last time I had to get yer sorrowful ass to the doctor.” 

“Fuck Geillis, my alarm hasn’t even gone off. Feeling around my wrist, I not, "I have 30 more minutes to wallow in my bed.” Covering my ears, I will my mind to quiet as I decide my next move. Before I have the chance to finish my thought, I feel a strong grip on my foot drag me off the bed. I think that scrawny red-haired witch is going to get it. 

Geillis roars, “Claire, I know that look, ye are not going to talk yerself out of this appointment. This is it babe, yer shot to get back to some kinda normal. Ye deserve it no matter what that pretty little head is telling ye right now. Plus, I’m sick of being yer nursemaid.” 

I growl at her and got off the floor and head to the bathroom. As I squeeze toothpaste on my toothbrush I yell, “If you’re my nursemaid you sure as hell haven’t been doing your job right. You bloody Scot!” I remove my clothes and shuffle into the shower and grab my cap, thinking, there is no fucking way I’m taming this mop today. I'll ask my “nursemaid” to brush it out for me. 

As the water flows down my body, I think of calmer waters. I used to love the serenity of the water, especially at sunrise. I miss the soothing colors of nature, the freedom to run and swim as far as I can.

I dress and slowly walk to the kitchen, happy that Geillis has set out my favorite yogurt with granola. The smell of coffee gave me a reason to live at the moment. I quickly realize there was no cup. “Geil, where is my coffee?” Geillis leans close to my ear, “Oh, ye want yer coffee? Maybe ye have something to say first.” I know I should apologize for being a brat, “Oh Geil, I’m sorry. You know I love you and” laughing, I say, “you’re the best nursemaid a girl could ask for.” 

I feel an arm go around my neck and a strong kiss on my temple. “Ye best not forget it, Beauchamp! If ye ken what’s good for ye” I happily take the blessed coffee and a tentative sip so I don’t burn my tongue and have Geil call me an idiot or what was it, a bampot again. “Mmmm” I start to think, maybe it will end up being a good day. 

Geillis helps me into the medical suite of offices and she takes a seat while I check in. I hear clicking and make my way to the seats and ask if there is anything interesting. “No, I’m just reading the _Daily Record_ and about how the world is coming close to an end in America. Would that really be a bad thing?” I hit Geillis’ arm and gave her the harshest glare I can muster. “Ow, Beauchamp ye wee besom. Ye would do well to treat me better.” I rub her arm and sink my head on her shoulder, “Geil, of the two of us, I’m not the one with loose morals.” Geillis laughs. 

Time seems to stand still as I note each second that passes. It feels like time is going backwards. I start to feel a bit dizzy with my heart pounding loudly in my ears. I hear the ruffle of newspapers and magazine pages. Someone slurps a drink. “Geil, could you get me some water?” Geillis grabs my hand and says, “Breathe love, I have a good feeling about this.” As Geillis hands me the water, a woman calls out “Miss Beauchamp”. Sensing I wouldn't answer, Geillis says, “over here.” Geillis pulls me to stand and propels me to move with her. “Here we go Beauchamp. Dinna fash. Ye can do this. I’m here with ye.” Grabbing her arm, I suck in a breath and say, “let’s get this over with.”

As we settle in the examination room, the nurse takes my pulse and blood pressure. She says, “My name is Glenna Fitzgibbons, but ye can call me Mrs. Fitz, and there is no need to be nervous. Today ye will be seeing Mr. Raymond, our chief and Mr. Fraser, who is doing his clinical training. They will take good care of ye.” “Thank you Mrs. Fitz. I’m always nervous so this is nothing new.” On her way out, Mrs. Fitz says, “Dinna fash, these two gentlemen are very kind.”

As the door shuts, my hands begin to shake. Geillis sits down next to me on the table and takes my hands in hers and says, ”Claire, when we’re done with this appointment we’ll head out and walk through the gardens. Things are blooming and smelling so nice right now.” I smile, “Thanks Geil. I don’t know what I'd do without you.”

Hearing a knock on the door, my spine goes rigid. Geillis says, “come in” and I hear two people step inside. An older gentleman says, “Hello, my dears, I’m Mr. Raymond and this is Mr. Fraser.” Geillis shakes their hands and introduces us both. Geillis pushes my elbow to extend my hand which Mr. Fraser warmly embraces, “Nice, to meet ye. Now, Miss Beauchamp do ye mind if we get better acquainted?” 

I’m struck by the deep timbre of his voice. I breathe deeply and smell fresh pine and maybe hay. My senses are heightened and I have an odd feeling in my heart or maybe my brain playing tricks on me because I was about to faint. After a very long pause, I gather up my courage and whisper, “I guess that would be for the best.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find out what happened to Claire.

In a soft voice I begin to tell my story. “I guess from my name alone you know all about me. How I was the only person who survived an airplane crash that killed 212 other people. I lost the only family I had left, my uncle. The crash not only broke my back and shattered my left arm but left me blind.” I wrung my hands. “I spent 6 months in physical therapy. Imagining revealed no neurological injuries and my optic nerve is in-tact. Two ophthalmologists have deemed it psychogenic or hysterical blindness. Months of cognitive behavioral therapy has not helped. You can see in my chart all of the prescription medication and treatments, ranging from anti-depressants to electroconvulsive therapy.” 

I pause to catch my breath. Never have the words flowed so easily from my mouth. Usually talking about these events causes such grief _._ Mr. Fraser places a cup of water in my hand. Mr. Raymond clears his throat, “Go on, you are doing well my dear.”

I take a deep breath and continue, “Since the crash, I sometimes see flashes of color and light but can’t see shadows or shapes. I notice this happens more if I’m bending down. I have frequent migraines and stabbing pains in my eyes. I don’t think this is in my head. My doctor said you have helped people when others saw little hope. Even with someone like me who was diagnosed with hysterical blindness, you found the actual physical cause for the disease.”

There was silence and then I heard Mr. Raymond mumble something to Mr. Fraser. The younger doctor responded, “Let me start by saying we’re sorry for everything that ye’ve been through but we’re happy ye’ve come to see us today. We need to run a full battery of tests. Many of them, ye’ve taken before, others will be new. We’ll do our best to find out what's causing yer blindness and if it’s within our power to restore your vision.” 

I smile, “You may not be able to help me see but if I have a true diagnosis of why I can’t see that would be something. Thank you for agreeing to take me on as a patient. I’ve had others refuse to, thinking I was a lost cause.”

Mr. Raymond takes my hand, “You may feel a little lost with everything that has happened Madonna. But you are far from a lost cause in our book. We have a truth-seeking journey before us. Medicine has its bounds but I have a network of specialists all over the world. Together we help solve the great mysteries of the misdiagnosed. We will leave no stone unturned.”

This man was so warm, I feel like we met before in another life, “You sound a lot like my uncle. He was an archaeologist who was always searching for the truth.” Mr. Raymond says, “Ah, seems your Uncle and Mr. Fraser have something in common.”

As I was unwinding that comment, Mr. Fraser interjects, “If ye can believe it, archaeology was my first passion. I went on a dig one summer in Greece. I was fortunate to meet yer uncle at a lecture he gave in Athens. Even had him sign his book, _The Wonders of Archaeology_ for me. In the end, I decided to go into medicine as a tribute to my mother, father, and brothers who all died before their time.”

A kindred spirit, maybe that’s why I feel so comfortable with him. “That sounds like a great way to honor your family.” I silently wonder what honor I can bring my family if I’m left to flounder in a dark world. 

Mr. Raymond claps his hands, “Mrs. Fitz will be in to get you started. After your tests we will see you again to go over the results.” Once the door is shut I run my hands over my face. Hardly believing my good fortune. I let out a huge sigh and blurt out, “He sounds hot.” 

“Mr. Raymond is a refined looking gentleman but Mr. Fraser, jeez Claire if ye only knew.” 

“You can’t leave me with that. What does he look like?” 

Geillis walks around me and teases, “Ooh Claire, picture the man of yer dreams. Even that doesn’t come close to James Fraser.” 

I hop off the table, “Come on Geil, what the hell does he look like?” 

Geillis backs away, “Nah Claire, I’m giving ye a reason to work yer ass off to get yer vision back.” 

Another knock on the door announces Mrs. Fitz and I begin a series of tests that hopefully will give my new doctors the information they need to finally bring me some peace.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I introduce a few more OL characters to my universe. Claire gets news on her future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank my wonderful new friend, JeSuisPrest on AOC, who is my beta. I am honored to have such a fine writer as my mentor.

Later that week while I’m taking a private yoga class with my instructor, John Grey, my mind wonders to James Fraser. 

As John brings the session to a close, he says, “Namaste . . . Claire . . . Claire”. 

I finally hear him. “What?” 

John gets off the floor and walks toward me. “I said Namaste.” 

I put my hands together. “Sorry, Namaste.” 

John hums his disapproval. “Girl, what’s got you daydreaming?” 

Thinking that John may be able to help me, I confide, “I’m wondering what my doctor looks like. Geil says he’s hot but refuses to describe him.” 

John laughs. “Well, let’s see if I can. Let’s look him up online.” 

John takes me to his office and searches online for James Fraser. First, he checks for social media profiles. “Woah, I think I found him. James Alexander Malcom Mackenzie Fraser.” He whistles. “I would definitely have a good time with that man. Yummy.” 

“Jeez, that’s a lot of names for one person. Please John, tell me what he looks like.” 

John shoots back, “Well, my dear, what do you think he looks like?” 

Why won’t my friends give me any information about this man? Frustrated, I play along. “I think he’s tall, very well built, has blue eyes and brown hair. I’m picturing a perfect smile and,” with a giggle, “a very nice arse.” 

“Wow, you almost had him. He has red hair but fits your other qualifications.”

I tilt my head and narrow my eyes, “Qualifications, what do you mean?” 

“Come on Claire, you just described your dream guy. If you don’t want him, I’ll take a run at him. Do you think he swings for my team?” 

I frown. “John, how would I know that?” 

Willing my eyes to see, I scoot closer to the laptop, “Are there any recent pictures he’s posted?”

John continues to humor me. “I see him on a farm, riding horses, swinging children on his arm, visiting the....”

“Wait, children? Does it say he’s married?” I though he seemed too young for that. 

John gleefully asks, “Claire, why does that matter?” 

Unable to hide my indignation on my glass face, I respond, “Well, you said he was my dream date,” I smile, “let a girl dream.” 

“Ok, let me see. Relationship status is single. The pics with the kids say they are his niece and nephew. So, you have a greenlight to date this bachelor.” 

I excitedly reply, “If he gives me my vision back, I’ll do more than date him.” 

“What more would you do Claire? I need the details.” 

“Not gonna tell you. That’s for me and Mr. Fraser to find out on our first date,” I say coyly, snickering at my own joke. 

“Well, well, well, look at you.” He leans over and gives me a kiss on the cheek. 

“What was that for?” 

He notes in a playful tone, “For being the girl, I love and adore. When is your appointment with the foxy doctor?”

I sigh. “Two days and my fate may be sealed.” 

John rubs my back. “Two days girl, and no matter what, your fate will never be sealed until the day you die!”

I kiss him on the nose and say, “I’ll call you after my appointment. Pray to your gods I get good news.” 

I leave the community center and walk two blocks to my flat. Over the past year I mastered the confidence in using my cane. I thought about getting a dog but wasn’t sure Geillis’ dog Jasper would be happy with a roommate. Also, guide dogs are hard to get and there are a lot of other people more deserving than me. I can make do for now. 

I was just about at the steps to my building when I hear a sound that, without fail, always makes me cringe. Like nails on a chalkboard but in this instance it’s scraping an umbrella against the sidewalk. I turn to the offender and say, “Hi Charlie, how has your day been?” 

With a whine in his voice, he moans, “My sweet lady, the day has been as long and painful as my life has been since the very minute the doctor slapped me on the butt to introduce me to this cruel world. Mark me, Claire, one day people will be sorry when I’m gone.” 

I doubt that but smile. “Oh Charlie, I think tomorrow will be better. Look on the bright side, at least you get to see the beautiful colors of the world.” 

With a hateful tone, Charlie replies, “There is no beauty in this world dear Claire. You should know that more than anyone.” 

Placing a hand over my mouth I feign shock. “Me? I still see the beauty of nature even if I can only see it in my mind’s eye. Like right now, I’m picturing a pretty little bluebird singing in the tree to the north and could it be, an ice cream truck coming to a stop by the park. Yes, I hear the children now running with joy for their treat. Go Charlie and see if an ice cream will lift your spirits.” 

“Maybe I’ll do that. Did you know, my namesake, Bonnie Prince Charlie, had a sweet tooth? His favorite treat was drambuie, or whisky fudge. Toodle loo Claire.” 

I cringe but keeping to my motto to be kind to others, I say sweetly, “So long Charlie.” 

I climb the steps and open the door to my sanctuary. I don’t hear any sounds when I enter so I assume the dog walker has Jasper on his afternoon jaunt through the park. I turn on my laptop to listen to my emails. The third one is from Mr. Fraser. “ _Miss Beauchamp, we want to see if you can move your appointment to tomorrow at 9am. I know it’s last minute, but an international colleague of ours, Dr. Joe Abernathy, is very interested in your results and we want you to meet with him. Please let us know if that time works. He’s returning to Boston soon, so we have a short window for you to see him_.” 

The message sounds promising, so I call the office and tell them I can make the new appointment time. I know Geillis will not be available tomorrow, so I call John, “Hey, how would you like to meet the one and only James Fraser in person, tomorrow at 9am? My appointment was changed and Geil has work. I could take a taxi but would love the moral support.” 

John says he is happy to help and the promise of nice scenery is an added bonus. I’m so fortunate to have good friends that stuck by me after I lost everything. 

It’s comforting to know that tomorrow will be the day I find out whether or not I can recover my sight. Even if the news is not what I hope for, at least I may finally be able to embrace living the rest of my life in an unsighted world. Whatever happens, after tomorrow I will quit feeling sorry for myself and build a life that would make my parents and Uncle proud. 

With that, I decide to make some tea and take in some air on the balcony. I sit at the table to read my book, _The Count of Monte Cristo_. Learning Braille was a bitch but my tutor, Mary, told me to diligently practice and things would improve. As I start the first chapter, I can hear the birds sing. Even the annoying flies buzzing around are welcome companions. They act as white noise, covering the cacophony of the city. I want to get back to my gardening and natural healing practice. I say out loud to the birds and the flies, “I need to find a way to do that whether I have sight or not.” I open my phone and record a voice memo, “Priority number one: find a way to move to the country.”

After spending a few hours on the balcony, I head to the living room and wait for my daily visitor, who, without fail, will show up around 3pm. This truly was the highlight of my day. I go into the kitchen and put a variety of cookies on a plate. I also grab a glass that I know my gentleman caller will want filled with his beverage of choice. I feel my watch vibrate alerting me to the hour and a minute later I hear a familiar knock at the door.

I walk quickly to open the door and soon feel my arms are full. “Milady, it’s so nice to see you. Have you had a nice day? I picked some lovely flowers on my way home from school.” 

Squeezing the boy, I smile and say, “Thank you Fergus.” Smelling the flowers, “Mmmm this lavender is so lovely and my day just got brighter with your visit. Come and have some cookies. Would you like some milk?” 

“Oui, milady.”

We sit on the couch and I listen to Fergus talk about his day. He’s been having trouble with an older bully, but he says he outsmarted him today and is unscathed. I hate that I can’t do more for this sweet boy. I talked with his foster mother and caseworker, but nothing ever seems to be done about it. If he were my child, I’d march to that school and demand action. 

Changing the subject, I ask him, “So, any homework I can help you with today?” 

Fergus excitedly reports, “No, I got it done during my last period. Shall I read to you from _Treasure Island_ milady? We didn’t get very far the last time since we spent so much time on my maths.” He always referred to maths with such dread. While he was an advanced reader for a 10-year-old, he did struggle with numbers.

“Fergus, that would be wonderful. You know where the book is.” Fergus retrieved the book from my library and read to me for the next two hours. When my watch alerts me to the time, I tell Fergus he needs to get home for dinner. 

He whines, “Aw milady, can’t I stay a little longer? Miss Simmons wouldn’t even notice if I never came home.” 

“I wish you could Fergus, but she would definitely notice. Now scoot so you can come back tomorrow and finish the story.” 

Fergus gets up slowly, “Ok, anything you need before I go?” I kiss his head, say no and reluctantly send him on his way. 

As Fergus leaves, Geillis makes her entry. “The wee urchin was here again today eating our cookies and putting his dirty feet on the couch?” 

“Oh Geil, Fergus is the light of my life. I really wish I could do more for him.”

Geillis replies glumly, “I know Claire, I was only joking, I have a soft place in my heart for the wee bugger. So, how was yoga with John?” 

I spin around. “It was great, and he looked up James Fraser for me so I know what he looks like now.” 

“So, what did John say?” 

Grabbing Geillis’ hands, “Oh, he would definitely date him.”

“I think we all would.”

I let her go, “Geil, Mr. Fraser called and wants to see me tomorrow morning. There is another specialist interested in my case. I know you’re busy but John said he could go with me and he wants to meet the hot doc.”

Geillis hugs me. “Well, that’s exciting, but I’m sad I’ll miss seeing said doctor and his fine ass.” 

I laugh. “It’s terrible that we are treating him like a piece of meat.”

Geillis snorts, “I don’t feel bad because the shoe is usually on the other foot and it’s not like he knows it.”

Raising my eyebrows, “That sounds so sexist, and we would fry any man who said that.” 

Geillis gasps, “So true but that’s not going to stop me from doing it.”

**____________________**

The next morning, I wake to an empty apartment. The yoga must have worked because I had a peaceful sleep. Rushing through my routine, I get ready for the day. John arrives and escorts me to the most important appointment in my life. 

John notices my fidgeting in the car, as I pick at my lip. “My dear, you are going to make your lip bleed and what will Mr. Fraser think?”

I purse my lips, “Oh, shush John.”

“Maybe he will think your lover got a bit too rough with you last night. On second thought, keep doing it so we can see if he is a jealous man.” 

I shake a fist at him, “Stop it. We need to quit joking about my doctor. He holds my fate in his hands.” I put my hands under my bum to stop my nervous habit as I lick my abused lips. 

John pulls into the parking lot. I’m like a deer caught in the headlights, momentarily confused over what I need to do. John opens my door. Offering his hand, he pulls me from my panic. 

On the elevator John squeezes my hand. “It’s going to be ok. Whether you are blind for the rest of your life or get back your sight, you are going to be ok.” Blowing out a breath, I force a smile. 

We walk in the office suite and I sign in. I hear three names called out over the next 10 minutes. My hands feel clammy and I bite my sore lip as I continuously touch the necklace that my uncle gave me. Hopefully this will be my good luck charm today. 

My name is finally called, and we walk with Mrs. Fitz to an office. She guides me to a chair, “It’s nice to see ye again dear, I hope ye are well.” 

As I fight to slow down my breathing I respond shakily, “Yes, Mrs. Fitz, we are very eager to talk with the doctors and their colleague.” 

In a gentle voice she replies, “Just a bit more patience and they will be with ye shortly.” She quietly shuts the door.

I can hear John walking around the office. I wonder where we are, Dr Raymond’s office maybe? Soon enough, John says, “Claire you should see the crazy shit they’ve pulled out of eyes. Do you think you got some rare worm in your eyes on your exotic travels? You can get what they call river blindness if you’re bitten by a blackfly. Their larvae burrows into your skin and the resulting worms can cause blindness. That’s sick.” 

Just as I was about to respond the door opens, and I hear two people enter. Mr. Fraser excitedly says, “Hi Miss Beauchamp, we are so happy ye could make it today. Apologies for Mr. Raymond who was called away to an emergency. Let me introduce Dr. Joe Abernathy who specializes in neuro-ophthalmology at Massachusetts Eye and Ear, a renowned Harvard teaching hospital.”

I look in the direction of Mr. Fraser’s voice and say, “Nice to meet you Dr. Abernathy. Everyone, please call me Claire” 

“It’s my pleasure Claire. I was very eager to see you today after Mr. Fraser shared your test results, but I’ll let him give you the news.” 

“First, Claire, what a lovely necklace ye have on. I believe that is an Egyptian scarab beetle which is a symbol of rebirth.” I touch my necklace and smile. He continues, “What a fitting symbol to wear today since based on your test results Dr. Abernathy and Mr. Raymond believe that surgery can restore yer vision.” 

My hand goes to my mouth as I choke back a sob and grab John’s hand. I feel him give me an encouraging squeeze.

“Now, the surgery is not an easy one, but Dr. Abernathy and his team have experience in this area. It’s quite rare, but I’ll let him explain more since he is the expert here.”

Dr. Abernathy comes closer, “Claire, when you suffered your traumatic injuries, we believe a critical artery was damaged. This cut off the blood flow to an important region in your brain that controls vision. Surgery would have more to do with your neck and spine than your eyes.” 

I try to process the information but the most important question pops in my head, “Can this surgery be done here in Scotland?” 

“I’m afraid not. It will need to be done in the United States where we have the proper equipment.” 

My hand goes out and I grab Dr. Abernathy’s coat, “I’d be willing to do anything to get my sight back. But, how would this work? Would NHS pay for it? What kind of recovery are we talking about? How much support will I need?” 

Dr. Abernathy takes hold of my hands and calmly states, “All good questions, Claire. We are working on getting approval from NHS. You would need to be in the United States for a few weeks. Fortunately, Mr. Fraser is heading to the states to do a rotation with our group and can accompany you and have an opportunity to observe the surgery.” 

Mr. Fraser steps forward as Dr. Abernathy releases my hands. “Claire, I promise I will be there every step of the way. I’m finishing my training to be a doctor and ophthalmology is my last specialty before I move into private practice.”

I think about this and am pleased Mr. Fraser would be there, knowing my friends could not take that much time off work to help. I share a hopeful smile. “If we can work out the financials, I want to do this. I have to do this.” 

“Wonderful, I’ll have my team work with Mr. Fraser on the logistics. Now, I have to run and catch a flight, but we will be in touch about the arrangements.” 

Unable to sit still, I lean forward to hug Dr. Abernathy before he leaves. “Thank you so much for helping me.” 

John had been silent throughout this whole process and finally speaks up. “God Claire, you’re going to see again. I just know it.” As tears fill my eyes, John wraps his arms around me and pulls in Mr. Fraser as we all celebrate.

I leave the office with a promise from Mr. Fraser to touch base once he knows more. He’s scheduled to leave for Boston in three weeks, and he hopes they can find a way for me to go with him. I worry that the characteristically slow NHS will never come through, but Mr. Fraser confides that Mr. Raymond went to medical school with a big wig at NHS and he feels positive he can convince them to approve the out of country surgery expeditiously. It fit the requirements since the surgery, which was life changing, could not be done in the UK or any member country of the EU. 

On the way home we stop by to see Geillis at the apothecary and tell her the good news. We plan a celebratory dinner for that evening. I call Miss Simmons to see if Fergus can stay for dinner. She agrees and I can’t wait to tell Fergus and I cross my fingers I’ll be seeing his sweet face with my own two eyes down the road. I also realize that I’ll get to see the face of my angel, James Fraser. I’m so glad I decided to make that phone call.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The journey begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to my beta, the amazingly talented JeSuisPrest (check out her fics if you haven't already).

Fergus arrives and I swing open the door and give him a great big hug. “Milady, why are you so happy?” 

“Oh Fergus, I got the best news today from the doctors. They think they can give me back my sight.” 

Fergus gives me a kiss on both cheeks. “That’s wonderful. Will you need to have surgery? When will it happen? Can I help you after?” 

I answer all of his questions about the surgery and add, “I called Miss Simmons and you can stay for dinner tonight. We’re celebrating.”

Soon Geillis and John arrive with Chinese food. We have a fun night eating and dreaming about the future. John volunteers to walk Fergus home but I tell him that he can only be alone with people on his approved list. So, we all decide to walk Fergus the short distance to his home across the street. I kiss Fergus goodnight and tell him, “Good luck on your maths test tomorrow.”

____________________

Most of the following week I’m suffering from a terrible migraine. My usual remedy of belladonna is not working like it usually does. I’m lying in bed with a warm compress over my eyes.

I hear Geillis enter my bedroom. “Claire, do ye want me to call the doctor to see what they can do for ye?”

I answer through tears, “They can never do anything but give me a prescription pain killer. I hate to take those. Can you call John and see if he can come over and help me?”

Geillis runs her hand over my hair. “Sure love, you should try and eat something.”

“Ugh, I can’t even think about food,” I cry.

That evening John enters my room carrying his massage table. “Oh dear, you look a sight, you poor thing.” He kisses my forehead.

I wrap my arms around his neck and sob. He pats my back and pulls me up off the bed. He hands me a band to tie back my hair. He helps me remove my shirt.

I should feel embarassed that I haven’t showered in days and that I'm standing half naked in front of John, but my head hurts too much to care.

John dabs some oil on my forehead and sides of my checks. I take a deep breath and smell lavender. I sigh and lie down on the table on my stomach.

He plays some soothing classical music and whispers in my ear, “Let’s start with a neck and shoulder massage. That helped the last time.”

As I lie on the table with my head resting through the hole of the pillow, John works on the tense muscles in my neck and shoulders. He begins lightly with feather-like touches down my neck. By the end he’s applying deep pressure and I groan; suffering both the pain and pleasure as he works on my trouble spots. 

He holds my head firmly down as his fingers massage my scalp. He pulls my hair at various spots and I release a long sigh as my migraine slowly eases. I turn over and he covers me with a towel as he massages around my eyes and forehead. He runs his fingers over my ears and ends by pulling my earlobes firmly away from my ears. 

John hands me my shirt and asks me how I feel.

I'm relaxed and smiling. “Oh, John come here so I can kiss you.” He leans forward and I kiss his check.

John collapses his table and we walk to the living room. I gleefully yell, "Geil, John worked his magic fingers and my migraine is gone."

Geillis claps her hands, “Hen, I’m so happy for ye. Now ye can shower cause ye stink to the high heavens.” 

I stick my tongue out at her and laugh. I give John another kiss of gratitude and go to clean up. I think how lucky I am to have friends who are there for me. 

___________________

A week later I am antsy since I haven’t heard anything about my surgery. I call the doctor’s office to get an update. Mr. Fraser apologizes for not calling and says they just received approval today. There are a number of things they need to go over and he needs me to sign some paperwork right away. He offers to drop by my flat to go over everything after work. 

Around 7pm, the doorbell rings. I approach the door and call out, "Who is it?” Mr. Fraser’s deep voice replies and I open the door to greet him, “Thank you so much for taking care of this tonight Mr. Fraser.” 

“Claire, think nothing of it. I don’t live very far so there was no inconvenience.” 

I hear Jasper scurry across the floor and Mr. Fraser laughs as the dogs barks for his attention.

“Ach, what a big lad you are. Such a lovely color on this Golden Retriever." He laughs at Jasper's antics and says, "Who’s a braw lad?” 

I smile and think he is so darn cute. “This here is Mr. Jasper. He’s my roommate, Geillis’ dog. He’s a sweet boy.” I cover Jasper’s ears and confide, “But I’m more partial to cats.”

“I hear ye, lass. I grew up with both. My mother had a wee gray cheetie, named Adso. When I get settled I want to get a cat and then when I have kids I’ll get a dog like Jasper.” 

I put my hand to my chest at the way he talks about his future. The thought of him having kids warms my heart for some reason. Then I catch myself and think, Beauchamp, pull yourself together. 

Remembering my manners, I ask, “Can I offer you a glass of wine or maybe a dram of whisky?” 

In. smooth voice, he replies, “I’d never say no to a dram.” After the drinks are poured we sit down to talk about the details of the surgery.

Placing a piece of paper in my hands, he begins, “You'll need to sign this form from the NHS for your clearance to travel so we can get everything arranged." He pauses. “I didn’t think about you reading this before signing it. Would you trust me to read it?”

I respond with a smile, “I would trust you to read it but let me show you my standalone reader.” I take the form and place it on the scanner. Once the full document is scanned, a voice begins to read the document. 

“Cool," he exclaims. "Can you change the voice to a Scottish one? The English one is so stiff and boring.” 

I giggle and think I would love for it to be his voice. I ask him to show me where to sign the document. He moves his hand over mine and places it at the signature line. I feel a warm tingling sensation and my heart beats faster. I let out a gasp and Mr. Fraser asks, “Is everything alright, lass?” 

“Yes, just felt a little shock.” 

In a low voice he replies, “Me too.” I take a deep breath to shake it off and bend down to sign the form. 

Eager to hear more about the details, I ask, “When do I leave for Boston and what do I need to do to prepare?” I can hear him pacing.

“Well, I have arranged for ye to travel with me to Boston. I hope that will not be uncomfortable for ye. Feel free to request to travel on yer own or with a mate.” 

I think about this briefly, “No, I want to travel with you. Geillis couldn’t make it on short notice and I don’t want to travel alone. When would we leave?” 

He fumbles with his words but finally says, “I ken it’s quick, but it would be a week from today.” 

I’m shocked it will be so soon but I recall he was set to travel to Boston for his training. “Where would I stay?” 

He attempts to ease my concerns. “There's a hotel within walking distance of the hospital. I’ll stay there as well, in a separate room of course. Yer surgery will be a few days after we arrive to allow time for pre-surgery bloodwork and other tests. Ye would likely be in the hospital for a week and then would have an additional week to recover. During yer recovery ye would stay at the same hotel. Does that sound like it could work for ye?”

My head is spinning with all of the details but I have to make it work. “Yes, that all sounds great. I’m very nervous but excited Mr. Fraser.” 

He sighs. “I want to ask ye to call me Jamie if ye like. Technically I’ll not be yer doctor any longer since that will be Dr. Abernathy, and my UK rotation ends tomorrow. I’ll still be an observer and there to help ye but this removes that formal relationship so moving forward we can be more like mates.” 

My stomach starts to do somersaults. Calming myself I attempt to be nonchalant when I say, “Jamie, I’m happy ye’ll still be involved and grateful we can be mates.” That sentence came out quite fast as I could hardly contain my enthusiasm.

Before he leaves he asks me if we can meet for lunch to talk more about the logistics. I say that would be great. We agree to meet in six days. In reality I want to meet him sooner but don’t have the courage to ask.

The idea that I might have my sight back in such a short time is overwhelming. I can’t wait to tell Geillis but she is out with Dougal and probably will not be back until tomorrow. I head to bed and toss and turn as I try to sleep. 

__________________

The next morning, I awake to the feeling of something licking my neck. “Gawd, Jasper.” I go into the living room to see if Geillis made it home or if I need to take Jasper out. 

I find her waiting. “Hey sleepy girl. Did ye have a nice night with the lovely Mr. Fraser?”

I blush. “Geillis, he stopped by to get me to sign paperwork not to scratch my itch, as you say. How was Dougal?” 

Geillis, always one to kiss and tell, keeps the report brief. “In fine form as always. Turns out Dougal is James Fraser’s uncle. I’d heard him talk about his nephew who was a doctor but never by name. Seems Jamie is indeed single. His family owns Lallybroch, that large farm outside Inverness.” 

“Seriously? I remember going there when I was in school. Remember, our mate, Susie, was close with Jenny Fraser. That place is beautiful. A manor more than a farm.” I couldn’t believe my doctor, no my mate, owned Lallybroch. I’d kill for that garden. 

Geillis continues with her questioning. “Hen, when do ye leave?” 

Her question brought me back to my concerns over getting prepared for my trip. “In a week Geil. I need to get ready for my stay in and out of the hospital. I just realized I’m not sure how well I’ll do on a plane since the last one I was on crashed. I’m scared as hell, Geil and wish you were coming with me.” 

“I ken Claire but ye can do this. Just think of what’s waiting for ye on the other side. Yer sight. Nothing, even a scary plane ride, can stop Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp from fulfilling that dream. Plus, I bet Jamie will offer a strong arm to hold onto.” 

I shake my head, “Ha, ha Geil. What if I embarrass myself in front of him and the entire plane?” 

“Well, ye may be mortified but at least ye will not see the looks on their faces.” Geillis laughs hard at that which makes me see the humor as well. 

I stop laughing and yell, “it’s worse to imagine the looks than to see them.” 

Geillis embraces me and says, “Come on hen, let’s plan yer wardrobe for the trip.”

**_________________**

The days fly by and before I know it, the day of my lunch meeting with Jamie arrives. We pick a place that was within walking distance of my flat. I was already at the restaurant when he arrives. We greet each other with a friendly handshake. 

Jamie asks, “How are ye feeling lass?” 

“Scared as hell," I answer honestly. "First I’m not sure how I’ll be on the flight since I haven’t been on a plane in over a year. Second, I’m worried to be there without Geillis, no offense to my new mate sitting across from me. Third, I’m worried the surgery won't work.” 

Jamie places his hand on top of mine and says, “I understand why ye feel that way but I have faith that ye can handle the flight. I’ll be there, and, good news, turns out the airline offers upgrades, if available, for patients traveling for medical treatment through NHS. We got upgraded to first class. Second, I ken ye will miss Geillis but I’m happy ye’ll be there with me since I would be traveling alone otherwise. Third, what if the surgery is a success and ye can see again? Think about that.” 

I feel tears well up in my eyes but I blink them away. I whisper in the strongest voice I can muster, “Thank you James Fraser.” 

“Ye’re quite welcome lass.” He signals to get the attention of the waitress and we place our order. 

Over lunch, Jamie and I discuss the itinerary. He'll pick me up at 5am the next morning. He pays the bill and asks if he can walk with me since it’s on his way. I'm not sure if he wants to spend more time with me or if he’s just worried about the blind woman getting run over by a car, but I nod my head.

Jamie walks at a respectful distance by my side, and I can sense he's watching me with my cane. I realize it's the first time he has seen me using it. “Hey Claire, how long did it take ye to master yer stick?” he asks curiously.

“It took me quite a long time to get the hang of it. There are different holds, arcs, and contacts. See, you hold and move it in different ways depending on how many people are around you and your familiarity of the area, among other things. My cane gives me a lot of information, but there are still things that can easily trip me up.” 

“Like what?” 

I grumble, “Like running into chairs and tables which my cane simply slips under, stopping me in my tracks. Also, overhanging brush, and the most annoying are the cracks in the pavement which usually make my cane bounce back.” 

“I don’t think I could ever manage it.” 

“Believe me, you would if it was the only way to get around.”

Jamie seems genuinely interested and asks what else I had to master. I think about the most important things I had to learn. “Well, I learned how to map the world differently. Instead of reading the street signs, I count my steps and the number of intersections. If there are no accessible pedestrian signals for the blind, I have to listen for traffic sounds to know when to cross the street. Also, landmarks, such as a fire hydrant helps orient me. Memory is critical. Thankfully I’m blessed with a good one.”

Before long we reach my building. We stand outside continuing our conversation for a while. I could stay out here forever and just listen to his voice. Eventually, we reluctantly part with a side hug and wish each other some good sleep.

_________________

Jamie appears the next morning right on time. With blurry eyes I open the door with bags at the ready. Geillis and I stayed up way too late, but she is still there to wish me well with a hug and kiss before she goes back to bed. Jamie carries my bags to the car, and we leave for the airport. 

Mr. Raymond had told me this would be a journey and I feel like the hard part was just starting. 

On the drive to the airport I discuss something important with Jamie. “I know there will be times on this trip where it will be easier for you to guide me rather than use my cane. This seems like it should be easy but often blind people find it hard to be guided. I ask that you let me walk with you. Many human guides will drag a person, unintentionally, which causes them to stumble and become disoriented. Also, if I could ask you to stop before any steps, that would help me to not trip and fall.” I laugh recalling how John made me trip just last week. 

Jamie responds warmly, “Aye lass, I’ll do my best to be a good human guide whenever you need one. I have some experience, you see. My aunt, who lives in America, is blind. She also lost her sight as an adult and has a fierce independence to do things as much on her own as she can.” 

I gave him an appreciative smile.

After arriving at the airport, we get through security quickly and find a place to eat. Jamie notices I’m not eating my food. “What’s wrong Sassenach?” 

I raise my head, “What did you call me?” 

“Sorry, it means an English person or an outlander. I didn’t mean any offense by it. I’ve secretly called ye that in my head since we first met, but I didn’t feel I could call ye that in person until we were mates. I hope that's what we are Claire.” 

I smile at him. “I don’t mind the name and yes Jamie, we're mates.” I frown, answering his original question. “I’m just too nervous to eat and I'm very tired. I stayed up late with Geillis.” 

“That’s understandable," he responds. "Hopefully ye can nap on the plane. Travel time to London is only one and a half hours. We’ll have time at Heathrow to grab a bite to eat, so dinna fash if ye can’t eat now.” I smile and think this man is too good to be true. 

Standing in the queue for our flight, I realize it's nice traveling first class. Even though I have my cane, I grab onto Jamie’s hand as we enter the plane. I stop frozen in front of him and he whispers in my ear, “I’m here, ye’re going to be ok.” I start to move again slowly. 

Jamie guides me into our aisle and I sit down at the window and then plead with Jamie to switch seats. Jamie rubs my back, “Shh, it’s fine lass. I can sit by the window. Ye can hold my hand the whole flight if ye need to. Ye have those sedatives if ye need them, but I think ye should wait and work on those breathing exercises that John gave ye.” 

I nod and buckle my seat belt tightly. I refuse the offered beverage and pull out my earphones, turning on my calming music and closing my eyes to try to relax and sleep. I breathe deeply and listen to the music. 

When I feel the plane begin to move I quickly open my eyes and can barely get out one word, “Jamie.” He grabs my hand and calmly removes one of my earphones and whispers in my ear. I don’t know what he’s saying. I think it’s Gaelic. Whatever it is, it's beautiful and peaceful. 

I close my eyes and focus on Jamie’s voice. As the plane takes off, I squeeze Jamie’s hand. I feel him cringe, “Strong grasp Sassenach. I imagine this is what women do in childbirth.” I can’t help myself and giggle nervously. 

Once we level off, I feel my breathing return to normal. I thank Jamie with a kiss on his cheek and put the earphone back on, close my eyes to focus on the music and hold on tight to Jamie's hand. I let go until the plane is safely on the ground. I remove the earphones with tears in my eyes and look at Jamie. 

“Sassenach, I knew ye could do it.” 

I am so grateful for this kind man. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One big flight and Claire and Jamie get closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another shout out to my beta JeSuisPrest for holding my hand during this process. I will have another chapter tomorrow so don't despair at the ending.

After we deplane we head to our international departure gate. Jamie asks me if I want to eat. Turns out traveling first class we can go to the British Airways lounge and get free food. My appetite has returned and we enjoy a nice conversation and a good meal. 

Jamie is very funny and easily takes my anxieties away. I briefly tell him about Fergus and mention that I had been to Lallybroch during school but didn’t recall seeing him there. Turns out it was during his time studying in Paris. Jamie invites me out for a second visit with the best tour guide in the family. I gratefully accept the invitation and have to tell my insides to calm down over getting an invite. I figure he’s just trying to be nice and make conversation. I feel like a school girl crushing on a guy. I have to remind myself that he is here to help me get through the surgery and that's it. 

We wait in the lounge until our flight is called. As soon as we get to our gate our class is boarding. I mentally try to prepare myself for the next 7+ hours. I definitely feel calmer on the second flight. I know airplane crashes are rare and chances of it happening again are infinitesimal. But that didn’t prevent me from following the same routine that worked the first time. Music, earphones, hand holding, some Gaelic, but this time I don’t want to sleep. I want to talk more with Jamie. 

I ask him about his childhood at Lallybroch and his medical career. In turn, he asks about my upbringing and career as a natural healer. 

After laughing hard at Jamie’s stories of growing up on the farm and his escapades with Ian, Jenny, Rupert and Angus, he regales me with stories of his time spent at the University of Glasgow. He spent five years in medical school and two years at his training post to practice in various specialties. His plan is to go into private practice as a general practitioner in his hometown of Broch Mordha. He would soon move back to Lallybroch where he loves to ride horses, hunt and fish.

I tell him about my exciting travels and how I always felt the calling to help people. He asks about my training and I explain that I have a degree from The School of Homeopathy in the UK. My first two years of school, I was able to continue to travel with my uncle since the courses were online. The last three years I spent in clinical training and supervised practice in Gloucestershire, England. I confide that I want to move to the countryside and start my own practice, using herbs from my garden. 

“Claire, how did ye end up in Scotland?” he asks.

“Well, I spent my last two years in secondary school in Edinburgh while my uncle took part in an archaeological dig. My uncle came to Gloucestshire to see me graduate and we were headed to Scotland for vacation when the plane crashed.” 

“Ye have no other family?” 

“No, my parents died in a car crash when I was five and my uncle became my guardian. We traveled all over the world for his job so I never put any roots down until we came to Scotland. My friend Geillis was in secondary school with me and we studied together in England. She helped me through my long recovery and offered me a place to stay. She's the closest thing I have to family now.”

Jamie squeezes my hand. “I can’t imagine losing my entire family. I still have my sister, Jenny. She married my best friend, Ian and they have a son, wee Jamie and a daughter, Maggie. But I do understand the pains of losing loved ones. My mother died in childbirth when I was eight along with my brother, Rabbie. A few years later we lost my older brother Willie and then my father when I was 20.” 

“Jamie, you've suffered so much loss as well. I felt from the moment we met that we were kindred spirits.”

My watch makes a vibrating noise and Jamie says, “That’s an interesting watch, Sassenach.” 

I move the watch closer to him and tell him, “It's the first Braille Smartwatch, called the Dot.” 

"The simple design on the face of the watch is a Braille display which has four cells. The watch pairs with my iPhone to allow me to read text messages in Braille and alerts me when I receive a call so I’m notified of the number and name of the caller." 

Jamie is surprised “Wow. I never knew this technology existed. I wonder if this is something that my aunt could learn to use. She's not as savvy when it comes to electronics.” 

We pause our conversation as lunch is served. We only have two hours left before we land in Boston, and we're both excited. I had been to America before but never to Boston. Jamie also said this was his first visit, having only been to Los Angeles in the past. 

I pick up _The Count of Monte Cristo_ to read a little before we land. Jamie says, “It’s fascinating to see ye read with yer hands. How hard was it for ye to learn to read this foreign language?” 

I groan. “I’m still struggling and reading is a bit frustrating since I have to go so slow.” 

“My aunt never learned to read Braille. She said she was just too old to learn and sticks to audiobooks. Can ye explain to me how ye read it?” 

I tell him to get on the plane’s Wi-Fi to look up the Braille alphabet online. 

Once he finds a good page, I start. “First, Braille is not a language, it’s a partial translation of a written language, like a code. Most people know that it's comprised of raised dots used to represent letters of the alphabet but it also denotes punctuation, music, and even mathematical and scientific symbols. Each cell of Braille has six dots that represents a specific character or set of characters.” 

I take hold of Jamie’s hand and move them across the page. “This word here is ‘wait’ and this is ‘hope.’ The entire sentence is one of the best-known quotes from the book, ‘All human wisdom is contained in these two words - Wait and Hope.’” I laugh. “I sure know something about waiting and hoping.” 

“Ye sure do. I’m impressed Sassenach, I can’t feel much of a difference when I move my hands across the words. How do ye not touch the cells below it? It would probably take me a year to decipher one page.”

“Well, fortunately my fingers are much smaller than yours but it does take a lot of practice to sensitize your fingers to the dots.”

An announcement is made that we are beginning our descent. I put my book away and grab Jamie’s hand, giving him a smile. I don’t need my music since Jamie continues to talk with me about my book. As the wheels touch the ground, my free hand goes to my scarab necklace. I pray that God will grant me the rebirth I so desperately need. 

Forgoing my cane, I hold on to Jamie’s arm as we exit the jetway. “Sassenach we’re here. Are ye ready for the next leg of our journey?” 

I sigh. “As ready as I’ll ever be. Lead the way, Mr. Fraser.” 

We head to the luggage carousel where Jamie picks up the bags and places them on the cart. We weave our way around people to find the line for taxis. As we wait in line, Jamie asks me if I want to go to the hotel first or straight to the hospital to meet Joe. I say I want to freshen up first and go to the hotel. 

After helping the driver store our luggage, Jamie helps me into the taxi. When we're settled, Jamie says, “Liberty Hotel in Beacon Hill, please.” After a long day of traveling, we are quiet on the drive to the hotel contemplating what is in store for us over the next few weeks.

As we arrive at the hotel Jamie gasps. “Sassenach, it’s right by the river. Can ye hear it calling to ye?” 

As I take Jamie’s hand to exit the taxi, I breathe in the air. “I can hear the rushing water.”

Jamie pays for the taxi and the bellman carries the luggage into the hotel. Upon reaching the front desk, I hear, “How may I help you?” 

Jamie responds, “We have booked two rooms in the name of James Fraser and Miss Claire Beauchamp.” 

“Yes sir, we have two rooms that are situated next to each other. I see there is a credit card on file to pay for the rooms and incidentals. I just need a signature.” Jamie signs the receipt and requests two cards for each room. He hands me my cards and we follow the bellman to the rooms. 

As soon as we exit the elevator, I start counting steps and moving my cane to learn the way. 

The bellman leaves the luggage in the hallway and Jamie shows me the key card reader. I insert the card to open my door. Jamie carries in my luggage and asks how he can help. I ask him to show me around so I can learn my way around the room. 

Jamie explains the location of the bed, desk (and associated electrical outlet and data port), dresser, table and chairs, thermostat, television and remote control, closet, suitcase stand, and telephone. In the bathroom I ask about the included toiletries. I pull some rubber bands from my purse and ask Jamie to place them on the different bottles so I can tell them apart (one on the soap, two on the lotion). 

Jamie shows me the adjoining door to his room. He explains he will unlock his door and I can open it for anything I need or just yell through the door if I want him to come over. Before he leaves, he asks me if 30 minutes is enough time to be ready to go to the hospital. 

I nod and pull him into a hug. “I can’t thank you enough for everything you did for me today. I couldn't do this without you.” 

Jamie pats my back. “My pleasure.”

He walks through the door into his room and closes it. I take in a very deep breath and continue to learn my surroundings. Hotel rooms are invariably tight spaces so it's not too hard. I wash my face and change clothes. I still have 15 minutes so I put everything away and wait for the knock. 

After Jamie arrives to escort me, we walk to the hospital. I feel comfortable taking his arm again and strolling down the street. I also brought my cane so I can become familiar with the terrain. I hear Jamie’s stomach growl and we laugh.

“I ken it’s only 4pm but I’m starving. How about we grab an early dinner after we meet Joe?” 

“That works for me.” I can’t help the butterflies in my stomach that I was going to take my 5th meal with this man. 

As we enter the hospital Jamie whistles. “This place is huge. It’s home to the world’s largest vision and hearing research centers.” 

Jamie’s excitement gets me full of nervous energy. As we walk, I can hear the echoes off the walls from our footsteps. I feel the immense presence of this place that has gifted so many with the ability to see and hear. 

Standing outside Dr. Abernathy’s door we hear laughter. Stepping inside we are warmly greeted. “Jamie and Claire. So glad you finally made it. How was the trip?” 

“Jamie got me here in one piece for which I’m eternally grateful.” 

Introductions are made all around for the team that will operate on me. They tell me my pre-op work will begin in two days and my surgery will be a day later if all looks good. 

Jamie announces we are heading to dinner and asks if anyone wants to join us. They thank us but say they need to make their rounds. 

As we exit the hospital, Jamie asks, “How are ye really doing Sassenach?” 

I try to relax before I answer, “I’m good Jamie, thanks for asking. A bit scared but I feel like I’m being held in very capable hands.” I pause. “Do you think the pre-op will go well?” 

Jamie rubs his thumb across my hand. “Aye, I think ye will sail through pre-op. Listen, we are both free tomorrow so I'm wondering if ye would like to join me in exploring the city?” 

I'm surprised he wants to spend the day with me but worried that I will limit his enjoyment of Boston. “I’d love that Jamie but wouldn’t you rather not be saddled with a blind person?” 

In a gentle tone Jamie says, “Ach, I would be lonely on my own and if ye’re with me I’ll have a much more enjoyable day. Dinna fash lass, there are many good options. We can discuss them over dinner.”

Given how tired we both are, we decide to dine at the hotel. We're seated at the restaurant and I'm offered a menu in Braille. The waiter takes our orders and brings out some wine and bread to start. The waiter tells me where the food and drink is by noting the corresponding position like hands on a clock. I'm grateful for this unrequested assistance. 

We easily fall into conversation. Jamie starts by making an observation. “Ye seem to really enjoy the outdoors. If ye’re amendable, I thought we could take a tour of the Freedom Trail tomorrow. Then if we feel so inclined we could rent a kayak and do some rowing down the Charles River. How does that sound?” 

I am touched at his thoughtfulness. “Jamie that sounds like it would be a lot of fun. I’m eager to learn about the Revolutionary War from the other side of the battle and I always love being on the water. Maybe I could even do some rowing.” 

“Perfect Sassenach, I’ll make the arrangements. We can grab the free breakfast offered by the hotel and head out afterwards. I’ll text ye the time once I finalize everything.”

Jamie walks me to my room and wishes me a good night. I lean towards him and intend to kiss his cheek, but I miss and land on the corner of his mouth. Somewhat embarrassed, I tell him to sleep well. 

I enter my room and lean against the door after it’s shut. My fingers go to my mouth as I smile. Shaking my head, I wonder how Jamie unravels me so easily?

The past 21 hours with Jamie have been eye opening. I feel a great bond has developed between us. He was amazing on the flights and I don’t think anyone but Geillis could have done as well at calming me down. He's such a sweet and caring man and I'm more than a little smitten with him. 

Even though it’s only 7:30pm I’m fighting sleep. After brushing my teeth and deciding to shower in the morning, I go to bed. I decide to unlock the adjoining door on my side since I trust Jamie Fraser. With a smile I think, what if he needs me in the middle of the night? 

I wake up coughing in a smoke-filled room. Oh my God, the hotel is on fire. I scream for Jamie. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things start to really heat up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My beta, JeSuisPrest, is working hard to get through my chapters as fast as I produce them.

I quickly realize I’m back on the plane and everyone around me is dead. I scream when I see the little body in my arms. 

I shake uncontrollably and in the distance I hear someone saying something to me but I can’t make out the words. I wake up slowly and feel someone beside me. He's talking to me but it takes a few seconds for me to make out the words.

“Sassenach, I’m here, ye're in the hotel in Boston and ye're safe.” I hug him tightly. He holds me to his chest as I fight to steady my heart. Jamie rubs my back and my fears begin to calm. 

He moves away from me and asks if I want a drink. I grab him, “Don’t leave me, please Jamie, stay with me.” 

He leans close to my ear and softly says, “I’m not going anywhere; I’ll be here until you tell me to go.” My breathing evens out and I let him get me some water. I take small sips. 

Through my tears I tell Jamie, “I have terrible nightmares about the crash. I have to relive it over and over again. I’m sorry I woke you, Jamie.”

Jamie pulls me to him. “No need to be sorry lass. I’m glad ye left the door unlocked and I could help ye. I can only imagine how horrible it is for ye to have to relive this experience. What can I do for ye?” 

I gratefully squeeze the arms around me. “Nothing more than what you’re doing.” 

Jamie asks hesitantly, “If it would help to talk Claire, I’m here if ye need me. I ken it’s helped me in the past when I could talk through my trauma, but I ken everyone’s different.” 

I nod, thinking I’ll never get back to sleep unless I tell him what happened. “Yes, Jamie. I have only ever talked with Geillis but it did help. Maybe I can tell you and it would help keep the nightmares at bay.”

Jamie runs a soothing hand over my hair. “Take yer time Claire and only share what ye want to with me.” 

I take two deep breaths “Jamie, it’s so hard to even get out the words. The flight started out normally enough. I was excited to be traveling back to Scotland. It all went wrong about 30 minutes outside of Edinburgh. Horrible turbulence led to a sudden drop. Bins started to open and luggage flew everywhere. People who weren’t buckled in went flying in the air when we started to drop." I gasp as i see everything in my mind. "I was sitting across from my uncle as we both had aisle seats. We held hands.”

I sob as I continue. “On the other side of me was a 5-year old girl named Sara. She had blond hair and the prettiest blue eyes I'd ever seen. Her father grabbed onto her and the fear in his eyes and my uncles had me terrified. I was hyperventilating and I think I lost consciousness due to the sudden change in pressure.” As I end the sentence I’m breathing rapidly and my hands are shaking.

Jamie runs his hand down my cheek and cups my jaw. “Ye're doing well lass, just breathe. Ye can stop if it pains ye too much to continue.”

I grit my teeth and shake my head as I try to calm down. “When I woke up we were on the ground and the plane was broken in half in front of me. Smoke was everywhere and no one near me was moving. I felt something on me and looked down and saw Sara. When I moved my hand to check on her I realized she was all bloody. At the time I didn’t know my own injuries were so severe. I tried to get up and my vision went black. I must have passed out because that’s the last thing I remember.”

I take another long pause and Jamie asks if I want to try and go back to sleep. I tell him I need to finish my story or I’ll never sleep. 

I wipe my eyes. “Next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital and I couldn’t see. At first, I thought something must be covering my eyes and I screamed for someone to help me. The nurse came and explained I was in traction because my back was broken and my left arm was in a cast. She didn't answer my questions about my eyes.”

I fumble for the glass of water and Jamie places it in my hands. I drink the rest of it as I gather the strength to finish. “Days later I learned no one else survived and that they thought I was suffering from temporary blindness.” I can’t help but snort at that. 

“Geillis found me at the hospital. Her and few of my mates from school became my lifeline. It was so hard to be the only survivor.” Through heavy tears I go on. “What was so special about me that I survived? Twenty-eight children on that flight died while I sat in my seat, panicked and did nothing.”

I shake my head and cover my face with my hands. “Why did live?” Jamie wrapped his arms around me.

I whisper in his ear, “I often think it would have been easier if I had died.” I said the one thing I failed to ever tell Geillis or any therapist, and I immediately want to take it back so Jamie doesn't pity me.

Jamie holds me tighter and through his own tears he says, “Sassenach, ye're the bravest person I ken. God has a plan for ye and that’s why ye lived. Yer life has meaning and ye were worth being saved. Christ, ye don’t realize how special ye are. Just think of what ye do fer Fergus.” 

I cry so hard but damn if it doesn't feel good. I feel shattered but somehow cleansed by my conversation with Jamie. What he doesn't know is he is the special one here. “Jamie can you stay with me? I know you may not feel comfortable sleeping in the same bed but it would give me peace if you could.” 

Jamie climbs into bed and lets me set the distance between us. We’re facing each other and I continue to hold onto his hands. “Thank you James Fraser.” As I listen to his breathing I’m lulled into a dreamless sleep.

Somehow as the night progresses, I move closer to Jamie. As I wake, I hear a heartbeat and realize I’m lying on his chest. I don’t know yet where my hand is before I inadvertently grab a sensitive part of Jamie’s body. 

He startles awake. I quickly move my hand and before I can apologize, Jamie says, “I think we best get up to grab a good breakfast before the start of our day.” 

He tells me its 6:30am. I hold back a giggle and for the millionth time I curse my inability to see what is before me but I can imagine the poor man is blushing. 

Jamie hastily says, “How about we meet at 7:30am for breakfast? That will give us time to get ready.” 

I smile. “That would be perfect. See you with bells on.” I cover my eyes in embarrassment. I feel like a 15-year-old girl.

We meet up to walk to the buffet. He explains to me what's available and leaves to fill our plates. We eagerly attack our food. There is an awkward silence and I decide to start.

“So, what will your schedule be like after today?” 

Jamie finishes chewing his food and clears his voice. “Well, I start my rounds with Joe’s team tomorrow morning but I worked it out that I can be free each evening so we can hang out and get dinner.” 

Concerned that he's arranging his time to take care of me, I tell him, “Jamie, that’s really nice but I don’t want you to feel obligated to keep me company. Especially when you’re here for clinical training.” 

“Ach, think nothing of it. This is just extra training for me which means I don’t really need to do it for my credentials. However, I’ll be spending enough time with Joe’s team to have a more in-depth knowledge of ophthalmology. But, honestly, I’d rather be spending time with you than more hours at the hospital. That's been my life for years now and I need a break.”

He sounds genuine and I'm grateful to hear I can offer him a break. I smile and take another bite of food. 

After breakfast we walk to meet our guide for the freedom trail tour. I'm happy to leave my cane in my bag so I have an excuse to hold onto Jamie. 

Our tour guide, Scott, came highly recommended and he easily finds ways to vividly explain details so I can visualize them. The tour highlights the revolutionary history that took place at 11 Freedom Trail historic sites, including Boston Commons, Massachusetts State House, various burial grounds, the Boston Massacre site, and Faneuil Hall. It's interesting to learn history from the side of the oppressed. Jamie notes the struggles in the colonies mirrored what happened in Scotland. 

The tour ends close to their hotel so we freshen up and decide to get lunch to go so we can eat a picnic by the Charles River. Jamie sits on the grass and explains the scenery to me, even the attire of people walking. I’ve never laughed this hard before in my life.

After a major fit of laughing/crying at Jamie’s description of a couple fighting across the way, I punch him in the arm. “Imagine, I can only judge people on their personalities and not by their appearance.” 

Jamie hums, “The world would be a better place if we could all do that.” 

“That’s true but it’s often boring since I can only do that to the people I’m interacting with. Being blind I miss most of humanity and to me that’s sad.” 

“I never thought about it that way. I’ll just have to keep describing humanity so I get to see ye laugh more. Yer smile is beautiful.” 

I blush. “It’s not fair that I can’t see your smile.” 

He takes my hand and pulls my fingers to his lips and he smiles. I run my fingers over his top and bottom lips. I feel his saliva on the tip of my fingers and I have to stop myself from moaning. His lips are so smooth. Kissably smooth, I think with a smile. I continue running my hands over his face. I feel the roughness of his stubble and am grateful he didn’t shave this morning. Just enough scruff to be sexy, I think. Moving up I feel his cheek bones and go to the edges of his eyes. I feel him close them so I smooth over them and up to find his thick eye brows. I move on to his strong forehead and run my fingers through his soft hair. 

I feel him shake and realize I’m plastered to the front of his body. I take a step back and fight for some composure. “Jamie, I think you’re the beautiful one here.”

“Ach Sassenach, if ye only knew. I hold no candle to ye.” 

I laugh and shake my head as he takes my hand to lead me to the next part of our adventure.

We approach the dock and are led to our two-person open kayak. I’m excited but very nervous to get on the water. We put on life vests and Jamie decides I should be in the front so he can steer. 

Jamie picks up on my concern and says, “I’m a very strong swimmer but also have great balance. We’ll not tip in the water but if we do, I’ll save ye lass.” 

I didn’t realize I was holding my breath but once we push off into the water I begin to relax. I eventually get the hang of the paddle and start to laugh. “Jamie, this is great fun.” 

I don’t realize I'm continuously splashing water on Jamie until he cries, “Would be more fun if you weren’t trying to drown me.” He gives me some tips on keeping my paddle more in the water.

As we glide across the water, Jamie tells me to take my oars out of the water as we are coming up to a bunch of Canadian geese that he needs to steer around. I hear them honking in protest. The guy at the dock told us they are known to be vicious. Jamie steers us around them and we continue down the river. 

My left oar seems to be dragging so I say something to Jamie. He has me lift it out of the water and he says there is seaweed wrapped around it. He tells me to hand the paddle back to him and he'll remove it. I go to swing the paddle back and it hits something. "Ow, Sassenach that's my face."

"Oh God, Jamie. I'm sorry." 

"That's ok Sassenach. I'm glad ye felt my face and called me beautiful before it got damaged."

"Are you alright? I feel terrible."

Jamie laughs, "Dinna fash, I'm told I'm more rugged with a black eye."

"I gave you a black eye? I bet you regret bringing a blind girl now," I cry.

"Hush, Sassenach. Today has been wonderful. This just gives us a great story to tell people. I'm just joking with you. I'm fine lass."

I laugh but still not sure he is joking. 

As we continue down the river, Jamie vividly describes the water fowl and other animals and people in the water and around the banks. I hear the geese, ducks, and barking dogs. I breathe in the air.

"It's exhilarating to be out on the water again. I feel so free with my movement which is impossible on land."

"I'm happy to hear that lass."

I can sense every time we go under a bridge. I say something to Jamie and he describes the structure and the colorful graffiti.

After a few hours, we decide to get off at the next dock where we can return our kayak. I'm giddy when we get on land. I grab Jamie and give him a big hug. “Jamie, I don’t think I’ve ever had more fun. I appreciate you finding something I could fully do.” 

“You ended up being a great rower, Sassenach. I would go out with you again, anytime, anywhere.” I like the sound of that.

Before he lets me go I take the liberty to run my hands over his face. I can tell there is some puffiness on his right cheek. I apologize again and kiss it gently. He kisses my temple and whispers, "I don't mind getting hurt if ye kiss it better."

We reluctantly part and decide to brave the train to get back to the hotel. Jamie knows we can get on the red line and get back to the hotel. I ask him to find a cashpoint to get some money out of my bank. I retrieve my money and tell Jamie that I’ll buy the tickets for the train. It's crowded so Jamie hangs on the overhead bar with one hand and has the other hand wrapped around me. 

A woman near us on the train says, “You two make a lovely couple.” 

Jamie remarks, “We do, don’t we?” 

I poke him in the ribs with my elbow but secretly agree. We get off the train without any issue and walk to the hotel. I don’t take Jamie’s arm; instead I take his hand in mine for the entire walk back. 

When we are outside my room I ask Jamie if he can help me fold money. 

“What do you mean?” 

I explain that blind people fold their money a certain way so we know what we have: the dollar bill will stay unfolded, the $5 is folded in half, $10 folded vertically, and $20 folded into quarters. 

Jamie makes quick work of folding my bills and hands them to me. “How do you ken what money you get back from a cashier?” 

“I ask them to tell me what bills they are giving back to me so I can fold them myself. I have to trust that they’re telling the truth.”

We have some downtime before we'll need dinner so we part ways. Jamie asks me to find a dinner location so I have some research to do. It's so nice to have Jamie treat me like a normal human being. I hope I can find a restaurant he will like. 

Before he leaves, Jamie begins to stammer like he has something important to say. “Would you, do you think. I mean would you fancy doing something with me when we get back to Inverness?” 

I'm unsure what he was getting at. “What do you want to do?” 

“I would very much like to take you out on a date. I mean a real date, without this surgery hanging over your head.” 

I can’t believe he wants to date me. I never believed any guy worth anything would want that. But I know what is in my heart. “Jamie, I would love to go on a date with you, but I feel like by the time that day arrives I’ll feel we’ve been on a dozen dates.” Deep down I'm concerned if the surgery doesn’t give me back my sight he'll not want to go through with the date. 

“Ok then, see you in an hour for our next non-date.”

Later that evening, Jamie meets me at my door. 

"Sassenach, that dress is lovely on ye." I smile and thank him. I'm so glad Geillis convinced me to bring it. It's an emerald green dress with cartoon-style flowers. 

He asks where we are having dinner. “We're going to Rochambeau, a French restaurant," I tell him. We hop in a taxi and I tell the driver, “We’re heading to 900 Boylston St.” 

After arriving at the restaurant and being seated, we peruse the menus. We place our order and start with drinks, the oyster a la bourguignonne and the charcuterie and cheese platter. Since we're both famished, we’re quite happy to receive a complimentary loaf of bread with butter and pickles. 

Jamie is on top of things and explains the orientation of the food after it arrives. He has the lobster cavatelli which he notes is very rich and well proportioned. I have the rohan duck breast a l'orange and we share a side of macaroni gratin. 

During the meal, Jamie offers me a taste of his lobster. He brings the fork to my mouth and I open and take a bite. “Hmmm, that’s delicious.” I then offer him a forkful of my duck. He grabs my hand to put the fork in his mouth. He says he will gladly finish any of my leftovers. 

“Claire, these oysters and lobster are really good.” I'm tickled that Jamie is enjoying the meal. I'm equally impressed with the duck which arrived on a bed of blanched artichoke. 

I warn him, “Save some room for dessert.” As we wait, Jamie takes my hand and strokes it. Every time he touches me I feel like an electric current passes through me. I have to fight myself not to moan. We end the meal with blood orange gelato which comes with three cookies.   
  
We are beyond stuffed. I tell him this is my treat and pay the bill. After arriving back at the hotel, he leans over and kisses my cheek and thanks me for a wonderful evening. 

“Evening's not over yet Fraser!" I tell him. "Let’s go have a night cap.” We go to the bar and order two whiskeys. 

“This has been such a lovely day, Sassenach and what a wonderful way to end it. Cheers to more good days ahead of us.” We clink our glasses. 

I'm all smiles as Jamie escorts me to my room. I eagerly ask, “One more night cap before we slumber?” Secretly I'm hoping it will help me sleep without nightmares.

“Sure, why not? I think yer bar has something we can try. Not sure NHS will approve of the charges but let’s chance it.” 

Jamie pours the drinks and sits down with me on the couch. I put the glass down and reach for Jamie’s face. He is turned away so I have to move him towards me. “I would very much like to kiss you, James Fraser.” Jamie doesn’t hesitate and gently kisses my lips. 

What starts out as a rather chaste kiss gets heated very quickly when my tongue asks for entry. Jamie gladly obliges and opens. “Mmmm” I think, damn this man is a good kisser. Hands start to fly everywhere. 

Jamie pulls away abruptly. “Claire, maybe we should slow things down. I don’t want to take advantage of ye before yer surgery.” 

I caught my breath. “Jamie, if anything, I’m taking advantage of you. I want you more than anything right now and maybe part of me wants to make sure this is real. Can we do that Jamie?” 

“This is real, Claire. I promise ye that. I don’t need to sleep with ye to ken that. I vow I’ll be here for you regardless of the outcome. I ken it’s quick but I feel like I’m falling for ye. It doesn’t matter to me if ye can see or not.” 

With that I pull him in for another kiss and straddle his lap. Boldly I start to unbutton his shirt. “Wait, Claire, There’s something I need to tell ye.”

I stop. “What is it Jamie?” 

He starts off slowly and I notice his voice is strained. “I was in accident the year before I started medical school and have terrible scarring on my back. I’m sorry I didn’t tell ye. I wanted to focus solely on ye and these scars are not anywhere near as traumatic as what you’ve been through.” 

I reply sadly, “Oh Jamie, I’m sorry about your accident. Do you feel comfortable telling me what happened?” 

Jamie swallows hard and moves me off his lap and he stands. 

I sense his delay allows him to collect his thoughts and temper his emotions. “I was coming home after a late night out with my mates. I was sober since I had been the designated driver. I failed to buckle my seatbelt. Such a stupid thing to do, and I knew better. I swerved to avoid a deer and the car hit the center divider. I flew through the windshield and slid along the pavement on my back. I was in a coma for two weeks and during that time my family thought I wouldn’t make it. My father suffered a massive stroke and died before I woke up.” 

Jamie cries, “It was all my fault, Claire. One stupid mistake killed the only parent I had left.” 

I reach out to Jamie and walk towards him. I stumble but he catches me and we’re both crying. I pull my hands to cup his head and whisper in his ear, “Jamie, it wasn’t your fault. You didn’t cause your father to die. As a doctor you must realize that.” 

Jamie tries to catch his breath but continues to quietly sob. 

I hold on to him and kiss him on his temple while I rub his shoulders. He finally settles and says, “I ken, but ye probably understand how hard it is to not let yer heart override yer rational brain.” 

I nod. “How about we get dressed for bed and watch the telly together.” 

“Thank you for being such a great listener.” We fall asleep in each other’s arms. I feel Jamie wake up in the middle of the night and I ask him if he’s alright. He hugs me close and kisses my hair. “I’m truly blessed to have found ye.” Tears start to fall down my cheeks. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire prepares for surgery. CH 8 will come tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to my beta, JeSuisPrest.

Jamie wakes up when he hears the alarm from his room. He kisses me and says, “I need to shower and get to the hospital. Do ye want to order some breakfast?” 

I wake up slowly and was pleased at the warm body by my side. “Yes, I can do that.” 

Jamie goes to shower and get dressed in his room. 

I order food and decide to shower myself. When I come out of the bathroom, I hear Jamie say, “These pancakes are good.” I smile and ask, “I only care about coffee, where is it?” 

“It’s at 2:00 but it’s hot so be careful.” I smile and wrap my hands around the mug. I tentatively take the first glorious sip. Even though it’s scorching my throat, I can feel the effects of the caffeine hit my bloodstream and I happily sigh.

“So, are you ok getting to the hospital for you pre-op work? I’ll be in the middle of rounds but we could probably get someone from the hotel to walk you over.” 

I finish my second gulp of coffee. “Thanks for asking, but I can walk over to the hospital on my own. I’ll use my GPS app so I know when the traffic lights are close and they have accessible pedestrian signals for the blind. So, I just need to push the button and it will tell me when I can walk.” 

“That’s great, Sassenach. I think we can grab lunch today if ye want to eat at the hospital. Or if ye want to do something on your own, I’ll understand.” 

I smile. “No, I would love to get lunch. I’ll stay at the hospital when my tests are done and you can text me when you’re ready.” 

We finished eating and Jamie leaves the tray in the hall. I call Geillis to tell her about my exciting day and night with Jamie. Geillis is happy that I’m having fun and wishes me luck with the “big ginger.” I hang up the phone and can’t stop smiling. 

I place a call to Miss Simmons to talk with Fergus. The lad is beyond happy to talk with me. I update him on the trip and explain to him I won’t be able to talk with him for a while until I’ve recovered from surgery. I ask about school and the bully situation. It appears all is well. He has even spent an afternoon with Geillis and they had a ball. I end the call by telling Fergus that I love him and the sweet boy wishes me well on my surgery. 

I check the time and realize I need to get ready to leave. I dress and have an easy trip getting to the hospital, save for almost tripping off the curb. Entering the hospital, I ask for assistance to get to the elevators knowing it’s a bit of a maze. I make it up to the correct suite of offices and meet the attendant who helps me find the right place for my pre-operative work up. 

My first stop is the lab to get my blood drawn. I hate the constriction of the elastic band being wrapped tightly around my arm. Having bad veins make the blood letting an ordeal, but I sit patiently as the phlebotomist attempts to successfully tap my vein. _I think if I had my vision I could easily do it myself._ At the end, I put on a fake smile. _Secretly I curse her for the five holes in my arm._

Next, I’m led to the imaging suite for my MRI. The technician takes my necklace and helps me lay down on the table. He adjusts my head to the correct position on the pillow and offers me headphones. Before I put them on he warns me “keep as still as possible.” 

I’m pleased to hear a selection of 80’s music. The music is not enough to drown out the loud thumping, knocking and clicking sounds coming from the machine. I clench my fists and try not to move. As my anxiety levels rise I see Jamie floating through my mind. This helps calm me down for the next 60 minutes. The machine ends its noise just as Annie Lennox was telling me what sweet dreams were made of.

I feel exhausted by the time I’m taken to do my pre-admission paperwork. I’m asked about my current medication, whether I consent to a blood transfusion if I need one, and if I want to sign an advance directive or living will. _The first two were no-brainers but I was caught off-guard by the last one. This is the first surgery for me that has not been an emergency so I’ve never had to think about this before._ I’m feeling overwhelmed and the office administrator tells me I can think about this more and bring the paperwork back before my surgery. 

Once the final appointment is over I sit down to check my messages. I have one from Jamie saying he would be free at 1:15. That’s just 15 minutes away. I ask the person who was helping me with my paperwork to direct me to the cafeteria. She kindly escorts me and I sit and wait for my lunch date. 

I recognize his steps as he draws near. “Hi Jamie, " I greet him. "How has your day been?” 

Shocked, he asks, “How’d ye ken it was me?” 

I raise my eyebrows, “You have a distinctive shuffle.” 

He leans over and gives me a kiss and explains what’s on the menu. Once I decide what I want, he heads off to get our food. _I can’t believe how easy it is to be around Jamie. He’s so thoughtful and can immediately sense what I need. But unlike others in my life, he respects my independence._

As he sits down with our food, he asks, “How did it go today?” 

I look in the direction of Jamie’s voice. “Everything was good. A bit scary when they asked me for a living will. How much risk is this surgery, Jamie?” 

“Well, there is risk anytime ye are anesthetized and even more so when yer spine is exposed. But you have a great team here and they’re bringing in a top spine surgeon for the operation. Everyone around here is excited since you’re a rare case.”

I hum, “Well, I’m glad I can provide excitement for everyone.”

“I ken it’s scary but yer in good hands and I’ll be there every step of the way. It’s good that they’re excited because that means ye're important and things will be done right.” 

That made me feel better. “When will you be done tonight? I was thinking we might eat in my room since I’ve had enough of people and restaurants for a while.” 

“I should be done by 6:00.” 

I scoot out my chair. “Great, can you get me to the exit, so I can be on my way? I think I’ll grab a nap.” 

Jamie takes my arm to walk me out. He kisses me at the exit and I’m in a daydream as I stroll back to the hotel. I snap out of it quickly when someone pulls me back from the intersection. I thank them and scold myself for being so careless. _Now that I may have something to live for, I need to take better care of myself._

As I enter my hotel room I find the bed is made. _Good, now I can take a nap and not worry about housekeeping._ I set my alarm and in no time I’m asleep.

I wake up minutes before the alarm is set to go off. I remake the bed and turn on the TV to listen to the news. After hearing about the latest from the US President, I shake my head and hope the next election will change things in the US and abroad. 

I hear Jamie enter his room through the adjoining door. “Hey Jamie, you’re back earlier than expected.” 

Jamie walks towards me, “Aye, I want more time to spend with ye since yer surgery is tomorrow afternoon and then I’ll be lonely without ye. Joe said all yer pre-op tests came back good, so ye have the all clear.” 

My heart accelerates and I pull my lip. 

Jamie rubs my back. “Tell me what ye're thinking.” 

“I remember when I woke up after the crash and how painful it was. What can I expect here?” 

After a long pause he says, “Well, I don’t think it will be near as bad as what ye suffered in the past. You’ll have an incision that will run along the bottom of yer hairline down your spine, but only five inches or so. Yer pain will be well managed.” 

_I’m glad to hear it wouldn’t be as bad as before but I wasn’t happy about the scar._ _But at least this time I wouldn’t be dealing with a broken arm._ “How long before we know if it works?”

“You’ll be heavily sedated for the first day. Sometime on the second day the pain meds will be tapered down and we’ll ken if ye can see. Joe said sometimes it takes a day or two more before sight returns. He feels confident about yer chances.”

I breathe out a sigh of relief at knowing more about what is in store for me.

We have a quiet dinner and cuddle in bed and search for some mindless humor to take our minds off things. We finally settle on _Napoleon Dynamite_. _I had seen the movie a few times before I lost my sight so I can picture the scenes as I listen to the dialogue._

I end up falling asleep before the end of the movie. 

________________

We wake up with the heaviness of the day before us. Jamie kisses me on the temple. “You ready to conquer the world, Sassenach?” 

“With you by my side Mr. Fraser, I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.” A nervous excitement runs through me. _I may soon be seeing Jamie for the first time._

As we finish getting ready I regret that I can’t have any coffee to still my growing nerves. Jamie senses my jitters and gives me a long hug. He decides to forgo eating. He says it's a show of solidarity, but I think he's too anxious to eat. 

I enjoy the warm Spring day as we walk to the hospital, thinking of the possibility of what the reverse trip might hold if I can see. _I silently pray to God to grant me serenity to get through this surgery and embrace whatever the resulting outcome will be._

Jamie navigates me to registration so I can check in. He tells me it will be a few hours before they start my surgery. He gives me a quick kiss and says he needs to join the team but will see me later. 

I have a few more forms to fill out and then they take my vitals and place the IV. I hand in my living will and nervously joke that I hope it’s not needed. They give me a gown to change into and put me in a room where I can try and relax before surgery. I decide to listen to some of my calming music. 

Before I know it, Dr. Abernathy is there to walk me through the surgery. He introduces me to Mr. Jackson who will be assisting. As they leave, a nurse comes in and asks me to use the restroom before they wheel me down. 

Suffering from a nervous bladder, I turn the faucet on to try and get things moving. As I walk out of the bathroom I hear Jamie. I let out a long sigh. My nerves are frayed so I’m beyond grateful he is here. 

“Hey Sassenach, are ye ready?” 

I feel like I’m on the verge of a panic attack and my voice shakes as I say, “Jamie, I’m not sure I can do this.” 

Jamie holds my hand and helps me get back into bed. He pulls the sheet and blanket over me and rubs my arms. “Ye can do this. Think of everything you’ve overcome already. This surgery is nothing compared to that.” 

I swallow and hold onto Jamie’s arms. I finally settle, bringing my breathing to near normal. “I believe you Jamie, how much longer until they can knock me out. The sooner, the better.” Just as I finish that sentence an attendant comes in to wheel me to surgery. 

As I’m wheeled through the hospital, I hold on to Jamie’s hand. I hear many voices, other wheels from various devices screeching on the floor, a woman crying, a man yelling in pain, metal clanging together as we seem to go around a tight corner. Finally, we make it into a room where the movement stops. 

“Sassenach, we need to scoot ye over to the operating table.” He lifts me up like I weigh nothing. The anesthesiologist, who I talked to earlier, said she would be giving me some good stuff to sleep. I'm looking forward to that since I wasn’t sure I could control my panic for much longer.

Jamie strokes my hair. He leans by my ear and whispers, “Sassenach, ye're in the best hands. I’ll be with ye the whole time observing the surgery. I’ll be there when ye wake up and protect ye while you sleep.” 

He holds my hand while a mask was placed over my face. I was told to breathe deeply and count back from 100. “100, 99, 98, 97, …”. I drift off to sleep, hearing the rustle of people around me and mumbled voices. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Claire's surgery.

_I feel very heavy like my body is sinking in water._ I swim to the surface but can’t break through. _I don’t feel like I’m drowning but I can’t reach the voice calling to me._ I attempt to reach the surface and hear muffled voices. _I must still be underwater_. I feel something touch my hand. In the distance I hear _,_ “Sassenach, Sassenach, Sassenach.” 

My eyes flutter, another voice says, “She seems to be waking.” 

Machines are beeping. Something is scraping against the floor. Someone is close by and he is trying to pry my eyes open with his fingers. Dr. Abernathy says, “Claire, can you see any light? Can you wake up for us?” 

I mumble and my arms flail and someone gently holds them. “Sassenach, can ye wake up and talk to me?” 

With a gravelly voice, I whisper. “Jamie.” He squeezes my hand. “Open your eyes.” Slowly, I feel them opening, but I can’t see anything. I realize the operation didn’t work and let out a sob. 

Jamie touches my forehead and Dr. Abernathy says, “Remember, you may not be able to see right away. Once the swelling comes down there will be better blood flow to the area in your brain that’s been deprived for over a year. Give it time Claire and don’t despair.”

I try to move my neck and wince in pain. Jamie notices immediately. “Claire, are ye in a great deal of pain?” He places something in my hand that has a button. “If ye push the button in yer hand it will release morphine to help with yer pain.” 

I whine, “No, I want to stay awake.” 

I try to clear my throat and Jamie puts a straw in my mouth. “Take some small sips of water to wet yer whistle.” 

It hurts to swallow but the water is soothing. “Jamie what day is it?” He puts the cup aside. “It’s the day after yer surgery. It went well Sassenach. How do ye feel?” 

I take in a breath and wince from the slight movement. 

“Come on, push the button. Ye won’t go to sleep right away, and it will make it easier to talk.” I heed his advice and push the button. I let some time pass and relax more. I give Jamie a small smile. He lets out a big breath and kisses my forehead.

“I feel better Jamie. Does Dr. Abernathy think the surgery worked?” 

“They ended up bypassing the damaged artery since they couldn’t restore blood flow without doing so. We will take ye later today to do a scan to see about yer swelling. Ye're on steroids, which will help.” 

I feel an urgent need to pee and ask, “Jamie, how do I go to the bathroom with all these wires?” He tells me that I’m catheterized and could just go. 

“Right, I forgot that was going to happen. Wait, you didn’t see me naked on the table, did you?” 

Jamie laughs, “No, Sassenach, I left the room and came back so not to invade your privacy.” 

“Good, good. I don’t mind you seeing me naked, but I want to be there to enjoy it when you does.” 

Jamie laughs and I groan. “Damn Jamie, these meds have removed my filter.” 

I notice the necklace from my uncle is around my neck. I smile and give myself another two pumps of morphine. Jamie’s voice continues to get fainter and fainter but I hear, “I’ll be right here while you sleep.”

I wake up later in the day and am wheeled down to imaging. Jamie refuses to leave my side. 

In the evening, Dr. Abernathy stops by to see me and shares the results. “Claire, everything looks good. Your swelling has improved, and the arterial blood flow has not been compromised. I still am hopeful that your sight will improve over the next few days.” 

I reached out my hand to thank him for everything he’s done. 

Jamie finally acquiesces and leaves my side when I ask him to bring me some ice cream from the cafeteria. He tells me he called Geillis earlier and told her all went well and asked her to share the news with Fergus. I reach out for Jamie’s hand after I finish my ice cream. I’m fading fast; I can’t keep my eyes open any longer. 

I feel Jamie place a light kiss on my cheek as he says, “Sleep well Sassenach.”

By the end of the next day, I’m losing hope that I will ever see again. I argue with Jamie to go back to the hotel and get some sleep. He relents and leaves me to wallow in my darkness. 

The nurse comes in and I ask her if I can get up yet to use the bathroom. The nurse pages Dr. Abernathy and receives authorization to remove the catheter. I’m grateful, even more so when the nurse helps me stand and use the bathroom, even though I know from experience that urination will be painful for the next day or so. 

I hate needing help going to the bathroom and generally feeling like an invalid. Losing my vision already took so much control away from me. 

After a few hours, Jamie returns with a Braille deck of cards. He challenges me to poker. Little did Jamie know; I was raised playing card games all over the world and I’m a bit of a card shark. Jamie isn’t used to losing but is happy to take my mind off everything. 

After dinner, I tell Jamie I need to sleep. Really, I just want Jamie to leave because I feel like one big disappointment to him and everyone who tried to help me. When Jamie settles into a chair by my bed, I lose it. “Jamie, I need you to go. I have to sleep and can’t have you hovering around me constantly.” 

I feel bad for my tone but I can’t help but think that Jamie will be better off without me. 

“Claire, I’m sorry if you feel like I’m smothering you. If you want me to leave for the night, I’ll go. Whatever I can do to make you more comfortable; I’ll do it.” 

He kisses my head and tells me he will be back in the morning. I put my hands over my eyes trying to figure out what to do. _I really wish Geillis was here!_

_______________

The next time I wake, I immediately begin to sob in frustration that I’m still in the dark. Jamie is there in a flash to comfort me but this only fuels my anger. 

I try to hold in in but I find myself yelling, “Jamie, you have your training. You didn’t come here to be my personal nurse. I don’t need you. ” I try to stop crying because I know that will make it harder for him to leave.

I feel the bed shift as Jamie stands. “Sassenach, I’m just trying to help ye. I ken ye're upset. I have some rounds to make with the team but I’ll stop by later.”

I clear my throat, “Jamie, thank you for understanding. No need to come by later. I’m going to try and rest and will probably call Geillis and Fergus to catch up with them. Don’t worry about me. I’m fine.” _I doubted Jamie would buy it but I needed him to go._

I can hear the strain in his voice when he says, “Good, I’m glad ye will be talking with yer mates. I guess I’ll see ye later. Please call me if you need anything.”

I just nod. As I hear the door to my room shut I pull the cover over my eyes and silently cry. 

That day I use all of the morphine that was allotted to me in my pump. In the early evening I ask the nurse for something to help me sleep. She says she can only give me something if I eat.

When the dinner tray is placed in front of me I groan at the smell. The nurse tells me what everything is and I start to pick at my dinner like a sullen child. I take a bite of the meat loaf and immediately spit it out. “Yuck.” It had a congealed thick gravy on top. I cut it up and place half in my napkin. I manage to eat a few bites of mashed potatoes and green beans. I slather butter on the roll and force it down my throat. I end my meal with some chocolate pudding which sadly was the highlight of my day.

Thankfully the nurse on the night shift gave me two pills to get me through the night. 

_______________

Jamie continues to visit me and every day I feel myself slipping further away from him. Having him around is painful since I have nothing to offer. He tries to convince me to see a therapist and I refuse. 

The morning before my release I wake and I overhear two nurses talking outside my door. _I think they must believe I’m deaf as well_. They mention that Jamie visits me day and night. _Oh, I didn’t know he came while I slept but that doesn’t surprise me._

The conversation continues. “Can you believe that gorgeous doctor is infatuated with a blind girl? What the hell does she have to offer him?” The second nurse responds, “He could definitely do much better. I bet he just pities her.”

_I think I have absolutely nothing to offer him._ I choke back my tears and I get out of bed to go and have a good cry in the bathroom.

Dr. Abernathy visits me later to talk about my discharge. “Claire, I’m sorry you have not regained your sight.”

I purse my lips and ask a question even though I’m afraid of the answer. “Do you think there’s any chance it could still come back?”

He gently takes my hand. “I’m sorry to say that it’s unlikely to come back – at least not as the result of this surgery. On scans, the artery is carrying blood to your visual cortex. I hope your migraines and eye pain have been resolved but your vision loss must be due to something else we haven’t uncovered.”

I let out a disappointing breath. “Or maybe I’m crazy like they’ve been trying to tell me for the past year.”

“You’re far from crazy Claire. I know this is disappointing, but you have hopes and dreams that can continue when you go back to Scotland.”

I nod my head as I think of all the reasons they can’t.

Jamie comes into my room one last time. “Sassenach, ye ready to go?”

I’m dreading having this conversation that I have been playing out over and over in my head. “Jamie, we need to talk. I’ve called Geillis and she has arranged for me to stay with her cousin, Carrie, while I finish my recuperation. She lives in Worcester which is 45 minutes from here. I’ll be more comfortable in her flat than in a hotel.” 

The next part is a lie but I have to do it. “She will be heading to Scotland for vacation and can take me back a bit earlier than planned. Dr. Abernathy doesn’t think that will be a problem.”

I take a breath. “I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. I’m sorry I’ve been so miserable this past week. It’s time I get out of your hair so you can focus on your training.”

Jamie pulls a chair close to me and I can hear the pain in his response. “Sassenach, ye haven’t been any trouble. I understand ye may be more comfortable out of the hotel, but I can still see you safely back home. If ye want to leave early, I can do that. I’ve told ye this training is not necessary for me. I want to be there for ye in any way ye need.”

I force a smile as I blink back tears. “Jamie, that’s really kind of you. You’ve already sacrificed so much for someone you barely know. It’s time for me to get on with the rest of my life. We had fun together, but I need to move on and so do you.”

Jamie stands and pushes back the chair. He’s close yelling when he says, “Sassenach, I told ye at the beginning that I wanted to continue to spend time with ye when we got home. The outcome of this surgery means nothing to me. We have something special between us. Ye can’t deny that. Why do you think it needs to be different now?”

I fight hard to control my emotions. “See, the thing is Jamie, the outcome of this surgery meant everything to me. I could only see a future with you if I could see. Now that I know I won’t be able to, I think it’s best for the both of us to go our separate ways. I’m sorry if that hurts you but in the long run, I’m doing you a favor.”

He takes my hand and I pull it away. “I ken your disappointed _a leannan_ , but I don’t want this to end.” 

I can feel tears streaming down my face. In a strained voice I say, “Jamie, please don’t make this harder on me.”

He pauses and I can feel him staring at me intensely. I hear him pacing. He finally says, “Ok Sassenach, if that’s what ye want, but please let me take ye back to the hotel. We can order in some food and relax and watch the telly before ye leave.”

I shake my head. “Jamie, I have someone from the hospital who will take me back to the hotel. Dr. Abernathy told me I was fine to be on my own and Carrie will be here this evening to collect me. I really need time to myself. It’s taken a lot out of me being in the hospital. You can’t imagine how stressful it is being in an unfamiliar place where you can’t see and people have to take care of you. “

We are interrupted as the nurse comes in with a wheelchair and my discharge papers and medications. “Miss Beauchamp, are you set?” I nod and she helps me into the wheelchair. 

“Bye Jamie, thanks again for everything. Best of luck with the rest of your training.”

As I’m wheeled out of the hospital, I fight hard not to fall apart. After I’m situated back in my room I begin to weep uncontrollably. I feel like my life is over. 

Later that evening Geillis consoles me over the phone. She tries to convince me to let Jamie help me. I tell her I just want to get back to my life and forget about James Fraser. The greatest pain I have is the guilt over ripping apart his heart, but I honestly feel that I have saved him so much grief in the long run. 

After the call, I slowly begin packing my things. The physical pain is more bearable but I’m moving slowly. I hear a knock on the door, and I know it’s too early for Carrie. 

When I don’t answer, he says, “Sassenach, I ken ye're in there and I ken ye're hurting. I’m sorry lass for everything you’ve been through. I’m not giving up on us. I expect to get that date ye promised me. Safe travels to ye and Carrie and call me if ye need anything. I’m leaving something under the door for ye.”

I silently sob the whole time he talks. I wait a long time to approach the door. I carefully bend down to pick up an envelope from the floor. I run my hand across the envelope, and I feel Braille letters that say “Sorcha.” I don’t know what that means but my heart stops, nonetheless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will post follow-up chapters as soon as my lovely beta, JeSuisPrest, has them ready. Thank you all for the lovely and inspiring comments. This fandom has offered me much needed support as I write my first fanfic. 😘


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuing the long road to Claire's recovery.

I sit on the bed in a daze holding the letter. The ringing of my phone pulls me out of my reverie. Carrie will be at the hotel in 15 minutes. 

I met Carrie two years ago when she came to Gloucestshire to spend a week with Geillis. We got on really well at the time, but I know I’m asking a lot of her. She works from home so she told me it would be no bother to help me throughout the week with what I need. I'm grateful to have her as part of my extended family.

I open the door to Carrie’s knock and she gives me a hug. As I pull away she tells me, “Beauchamp, you look like shite.” I cringe and remember that Carrie is very direct, like Geillis. 

“Yea. It’s been a tough week but I really appreciate everything you’re doing for me. I’d really like to skedaddle so I don’t have to see a certain somebody.”

“Right, Geillis told me. I’m sorry Claire.” She grabs my bags and we wait for the valet to bring the car. I pray Jamie doesn’t show up because my resolve is low and if I'm near him I’m not sure I can go through with this.

As I ease into the car, Carrie says, "Is your man a tall, good looking red head with a killer body?” 

I grimace. “He’s not my man. Where do you see him?”

“He’s just watching you like a hawk but keeping his distance. The poor man looks gutted.”

“Ugh, Carrie can you just drive?”

“Sure, Claire. When we get to my place we can order some take out and chill this evening.”

I nod and am relieved when we pull away. My heart is heavy but I keep telling myself this is the right thing to do. My hand moves to the front of my purse where I placed the letter. _I'm not ready to read it and, if I'm being honest with myself, I'm not sure I ever will be._

While I'm thinking about it I ask, “Carrie, you know Gaelic. What does Sorcha mean?”

“Well, that’s the Gaelic name for Claire, but it also means light, why?”

I feel a lump in my throat. “Oh, no reason.”

I check my watch and there are more texts from Jamie checking on me. I decide to send him one text, _I’m good. Thanks again for all your help._ I tell myself that has to be the last communication so we can both move on. 

I already made arrangements to have a check-up with one of Dr. Abernathy’s colleagues who has an office closer to Carrie’s flat. She will remove my staples before I leave for Scotland. I lean my head against the window wishing I was back home in Scotland.

Carrie is shaking my shoulder to wake me. I must have dozed off in the car. We walk a couple of flights to her flat. She apologizes for the lack of elevator. She orients me to her place and shows me my room. I change into my pjs and she orders food. We waste the evening catching up and watching _Rear Window_.

The next week passes uneventfully. Every day my pain eases and I continue to be free of headaches. The visit to the doctor goes smoothly. My staples are removed, and I’m cleared to fly home. 

Carrie drops me off at the airport and an attendant takes me to my gate. This time I take a sedative to get through the long flight. 

At Heathrow, another attendant sees me through customs and to my next departure gate. This flight is too short for a sedative so I just hold on tight to the armrest and listen to my music. I try not to think of Jamie but he’s about the only thing I can think of throughout the flight. 

I have to wait for everyone to disembark before someone takes me to baggage claim. 

My body and mind are completely drained. Geillis is there to hold me up as I get out of the wheelchair. Her arms are quickly around me and it feels so good to embrace her. By this time, I can’t hold back the flood of tears.

“Oh dear, we will just collect your bags and get out of here. I’m sure it will be nice for you to be home. Jasper has missed you terribly. I told Fergus you may be up to seeing him tomorrow.” 

When I get to the flat I’m greeted by Jasper. Geillis has to restrain him so he doesn’t knock me over with his excitement. She leaves to grab us some drinks. I check my watch and read some texts from Jamie asking if I’m home. I feel bad not replying to him but the man has a great life ahead of him. 

I find myself picking around my dinner and finally put down my fork and tell Geillis I’m going to bed. Later, after finding me awake, Geillis joins me in bed. She holds my hand as I tell her what I’m feeling.

“Everything was great until after my surgery. I thought I had prepared myself for the possibility of a bad outcome but everyone was so hopeful I started to think it would really work.” I pause and sob, “I want my life back where I don’t have to be dependent on anyone.” 

Geillis wraps her arms around me and I cry on her shoulder. “I know it’s hard Claire to see your future, but it’s there for the taking. You may be cursed with blindness for the rest of your life but it’s your choice how ye live with it. If ye want to move out on yer own to gain more independence I’ll help ye do that. Yer life’s not over because this surgery didn’t work.”

“Thanks, Geil. I know I can always count on you. I’ve already asked too much of you.”

“If it were too much ye ken me well enough I would say it loud enough for ye to hear. Ye are no burden to me or anyone in yer life. Ye are there for me just as much as I’m there for ye.”

I pull away and take her hand. “It’s different with you because we knew each other so well before my accident. It’s hard with new people. I got close to Jamie way too fast. I really can’t see myself ever settling down with someone. There is so much I can’t do and I will hold back any man I’m with.”

“Hen listen to me. Each of us has different ways we can take care of other people. Ye don’t need two working eyes to know how to be kind to someone or love and support them. Ye do this for me all the time. Jamie would be lucky to have ye by his side.”

Eventually, I fall asleep as Geillis continues to try and persuade me that I’m good enough for Jamie.

I wake up with her snoozing by my side. I smile for the first time in over a week. I jostle her awake, “Geil, I’m hungry.”

She slowly gets up, “Good to hear you have an appetite. I’ll go fix ye a hearty breakfast.” 

As she leaves I take a deep breath and vow to myself that this is the first day of the rest of my life. I frown thinking I’m just kidding myself but I’m going to try really hard. I figure if I keep busy enough I may forget about Jamie. 

I text John to come and see me that afternoon. I’m not yet able to do yoga but I could do with some time with him.

I walk to the kitchen and sit down to a full English breakfast. I tell Geillis I love her. She hugs me tightly around my shoulders. 

Later John finds me out on the balcony trying to finish my book. “Hello, my dear. It’s so nice to have you back.”

I stand up and greet him with a hug. “I really missed you John. I was hoping I’d be getting to see that handsome face that you love to tell me about. But, alas it was not in the cards.”

“Claire, for that I will never forgive my gods for letting you down. Now, Geillis tells me you found the love of your life and let him go.”

I groan. “I never said he was the love of my life but if he was he surely deserves better than me.”

“I highly doubt that, my dear. Any man would be lucky to have Claire Beauchamp as their forever companion regardless of whether you can see or not.”

“John, I refuse to be a burden to anyone. This whole ordeal has reinvigorated my push for independence. I want to eventually move out on my own and I would love to find a way to get back to my healing.”

John sighs. “Oh Claire, I think you have it all wrong. You’re not a burden to anyone you let into your life. You’re a complete gift to have as a friend and I think any man would be lucky to have you be more than that.”

I smile and try not to cry since I realize I do that all the time now. “John, you’re too sweet for your own good. Maybe we should discuss how you hate talking about your own love life.”

John changes the subject for both our sakes. “Well Claire, I had the good fortune to meet someone as a new yoga student. Her name is Willa Stevens and she has a foundation that helps blind people to garden. I can get you in touch with her if you like.”

I’m excited by the prospect and say, “That would be wonderful. Gardening is good for my soul. I’ve been talking with Geillis about what I could do at the apothecary. I think I can help people in this community with some alternative ways to treat their ailments.”

John gives me Willa’s number and I plan to get in touch with her right away. John stays for dinner and a movie and leaves when Geillis returns for the evening.

“Geil, why are you home so early?" I ask. "I thought you’d be shacking up with Dougal.”

Geillis comes over to me and places a spoon in my hand. “I wanted to spend time with ye. I pined for ye when ye were in America.”

She hands me a pint of my favorite treat, ice cream made with chamomile, clove, and rose, mixed with meadow berries and honey. “Mmmmm, thanks Geil. This is such a lovely surprise.”

In between bites, Geillis says, “Claire, I need to talk with ye about Jamie. I ken what happened is painful but Dougal says the man is longing fer ye. Even if ye can only be mates.”

I frown and place my spoon on the coffee table. “Geil, I don’t want to talk about Jamie anymore.”

“I ken this is hard for you lass. I’m here if ye ever want to talk.”

I stand up and kiss Geil’s head. “Thank you. I know it’s difficult for you to butt out but I appreciate it and the ice cream. Now I need to sleep since you’ve made me sad.”

______________

The next afternoon I spend with Fergus. He is the salve I needed for my wounded heart. He decides we should go for a walk in the park to lift my spirits. As we walk and talk, we run into Charlie. I know Fergus can’t stand him so I whisper, “I’ll handle it.”

“Well, my dear Claire. I heard you were away in America getting surgery to regain your sight. It wounds me that you still can’t see.”

There seems to be some sincerity behind his words. “Yes, unfortunately the surgery didn’t work but I’m happy to be spending the day with a sweet friend. We’re actually.”

Charlie interrupts, “I’ve recently met with several wealthy and influential members of the British aristocracy. I will ask them if they have a recommendation for a more skilled surgeon. For you deserve to have the gift of sight. I won’t be deterred in this endeavor. Mark me, your cause must succeed.”

Fergus laughs. I cover his mouth; happy I’m able to find it so quickly. Charlie is a pain but his mental illness is not something to laugh about. 

I smile. “Thank you Charlie. That is very kind of you.”

His voice goes up an octave as he takes my hand. “Think nothing of it Claire. You have led a life full of misfortune and you, more than anyone, deserve a turn of the tides.”

I'm actually touched by what he said. I give his hand a squeeze. “I appreciate that Charlie. Young Fergus and I are on our way to an appointment. We hope to see you again soon.”

I push Fergus to start moving. “Milady, why did you cover my mouth?”

“I’m sorry Fergus, you should not laugh at Charlie. He has some problems and he can’t help the way he is any more than I can help that I’m blind.”

“Oui, milady. I understand.”

I pat his head. “Good lad, now let’s be off to enjoy the wonders of nature.”

After spending hours at the park, I drop Fergus at his house. As I walk into my flat I hear Geillis ending a phone call. “Hey Geil.”

“Claire I just had a very long conversation with Jamie Fraser. Dougal must have given him my number.”

I groaned. “Oh God Geil, I’m sorry. What did he want? He’s not going to come here is he?”

Geillis grabs my arms to calm me. “Well, I think you ken what he wants. He’s worried about ye and wanted to make sure you were alright. He’s confused over what you’ve done and he asked me if you read his letter.”

I cover my mouth. I’ve tried hard to forget about that letter. “He gave me a letter the last time I saw him. I haven’t read it.”

“Do you need me to read it to you?”

“No, the letter is in Braille. I’m not sure how Jamie managed that but they must have had a Braille typewriter at the hospital. I just can’t read it. I need him to stop. I blocked his number so he can’t call or text me. I just pray he doesn’t show up here.”

“I don’t understand. Is there something you’re afraid of lass?

“Nothing like you’re thinking. I’m scared I won’t be able to stay away from him if he comes here. I’m no good for him Geil. He deserves a better life than I can give him.”

“Jeez Claire, aren’t you jumping way ahead here? You’re acting like you two were steps away from marriage.”

“Oh Geil. There was something powerful between us. I can’t explain it but I began to see a real future with him after spending a few days together.”

“I’ll be damned. Who would have thought skeptical Claire Beauchamp would fall in love so quickly.”

“Ugh, Geil. I never said it was love. Maybe it was lust. I don’t know but he needs to move on with his life. How did you end the call?”

“I told him I would pass on his thoughts. He said he was in town for another few weeks before he moved home. He said you owe him a date and he owes you a tour of Lallybroch.”

Furiously I say, “How dare he think I owe him a date? I do feel indebted to him for his kindness but that doesn’t mean I have to date him when I don’t want to.”

“Claire, you’re the only one standing in your way. I don’t see the harm in meeting him. So, you fall down a rabbit hole and scratch that itch. Maybe it will prove it’s just lust and you both can move on.”

I seriously think about that and wonder if that would help. Quickly I realize her ruse. “No, no, no. The only way to deal with it is to pretend he doesn’t exist.”

Geil laughs. “Seriously? That’s not very mature, Beauchamp, and does that man who did so much for you really deserve that? Can’t you have a face-to-face with him to make him feel better? Maybe you should read his letter.”

I'm confused and not sure what I should do. I tell Geil I need to lie down. 

I lay in my bed and think about what I should do. I know it wasn’t fair to ends things the way I did. Maybe I could meet with Jamie. It’s not like he is going to be living in the same town as me. He's going to move away and start his own practice. He would be busy with that and would forget all about me. Maybe I could bring him some closure.

Or maybe he would try to hold onto me and that would mean both of us would put our lives on hold. No, I had to stay away and I had to keep on my plan to gain more independence.

I decide to think about something else and pick up my phone and call Willa. I chat with her briefly and set a time to meet the following day. I join Geillis for dinner. I tell her my decision about Jamie. She doesn’t respond, so I just change the subject so we can get through our meal in peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to JeSuisPrest who continues to provide me invaluable feedback. I will post CH 10 tomorrow (Claire reads Jamie's letter). CH11 & 12 will be 5k+ words each and will be the pivotal chapters in this story. Thanks again for reading and all of the thoughtful and supportive comments. 😘


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We finally see what Jamie wrote.

I tell Geillis goodbye and head out to walk to the yoga studio. I’m feeling a bit run down from lack of sleep but I’m excited to meet Willa and talk about gardening. I get to the studio just as class has let out. 

I wait for John to finish talking with some students. “Hey Claire, this is Willa Stevens.” 

I put out my hand, “Very nice to meet you Willa.”

She firmly shakes it and says, “You too. Are you up for walking to a nearby garden I’m working on?”

“I’d love to.” 

On the way, Willa tells me she started her foundation to honor her late grandmother who was an avid gardener until she became blind. She saw how depressed she was when she couldn’t fully participate in her hobby. 

Willa goes on, giving me instructions on creating my own garden. “You want to keep the design simple using straight pathways and landmarks. The landmarks will help you navigate the garden. They can be décor, shrubs or a change in walkway texture. To avoid accidents, you need to place railings a few feet before any inclines or declines.”

I ask, “How large should the garden beds be?”

“The beds should be no more than three feet apart so you can reach the center from any side. I also recommend that you have plants and flowers with unique scents to aid in locating different areas of your garden.” 

After a twenty-minute walk we arrive. She leads me around the garden, handing me various gardening tools as we walk. “You need to buy ones with short handles whenever possible,” she says. “This will allow you to cultivate with one hand while leaving the other free to explore the garden. I also recommends using a tool pouch so you will not need to go searching for tools. Tying short ropes to handles can also help recover any tools you drop or misplace.”

Willa asks me to help her plant some bluebell bulbs. I’m pleasantly surprised by how much I’m able to do. Before we part, I thank her for sharing her garden with me. Willa says there are other plots of land that she could get for me if I want to move forward. She said she has a little bit of grant money to help buy the tools and some things I need to start when I’m ready. 

I tell Willa I won’t need any grant money and in fact, I would like to donate funds to help her continue her work. I explain to her that I received a large amount of money from the airline after my accident and that I set up a charitable trust that is being used to help causes that I feel passionately about. I offer her £5,000.

Willa is shocked by my revelation. “Claire, that’s very generous but don’t you need that money to live on?”

“No, I have some inheritance money that I use for my daily needs that is more than enough for me to live comfortably while I try and get back on my feet with my career.” 

Willa shakes my hand. “My foundation would be very grateful for your contribution.”

By the end of our time together I feel a kinship with Willa. She gives me a hug and gets me into my Uber. I’m excited that there are ways for me to safely garden. 

I enter the flat and am eager to tell Geillis about my day but she's not home. I forgot she would be out with Dougal. I spend the day searching online for gardening ideas and setting a timeline to move out on my own. I love Geillis but I’ve imposed on her long enough. I feel like I accomplished a lot today.

A few hours later Geillis arrives home in a very happy mood. She tells me about the lovely day she had with Dougal and in turn I tell her my news. 

After dinner, I call Willa and ask her how I can move forward with starting my own garden. She says she has an open space within walking distance of my flat. We begin discussing designs and what I will need. She says she should be able to get the supplies so we can begin breaking ground next weekend. She has volunteers who will help with the initial planting. 

**___________**

By the following Friday I’m able to join John at one of his yoga classes. I take things really slowly and he helps me with some of my poses. I end the session in a much more relaxed state.

Wiping the sweat from my brow, I say, “Thanks John. That’s just what I needed.”

He puts his hand on my back and says, “Let’s go to my office for some tea and biscuits.”

I sit and wait for him to prepare the tea. My mind wanders back to the last time I was in this office. I sigh as I remember John describing Jamie to me. I rub my fingers together as I reminisce about the way Jamie’s face felt in my hands. I will never forget how his smile felt against my fingertips. I smile and wipe a stray tear from my eye as I hear John enter the room.

He pours the tea and we commence what I know will amount to a counseling session.

“So, Claire how are you doing with your separation from Mr. Fraser?”

“John, you make it sound like we were married. I can’t say I don’t miss Jamie but he has his own life to live. He’s moving home to start his own medical practice so he will be just fine without me.”

“I doubt that dear Claire, but even so, will you be fine without him?”

 _I do love my mates and I know they want the best for me, but this prying into my personal life is getting old._ “John, I was raised to be an independent woman. Yes, it’s challenging being as independent as I would like to be but hear me loud and clear; I don’t need a man in my life to be fine.”

“Oh, Claire. I’m not saying you need anything but it’s rare to find someone that you connect with so strongly. It’s not something you should give up on so easily.”

I quickly finish my tea and push to stand. John takes my hand and kisses it. “Please forgive me if I have overstepped. I just want you to be happy.”

I smile and pull my hand up to kiss his knuckles. “I love you John and thank you for looking out for me. I’ll be fine. You’ll see.” _I said this with conviction even though I doubted it was true._

As I walk home I think of Jamie. I try really hard to move my mind to another subject but it's a useless endeavor. 

That night I decide to go through my closet and make a pile for of things I no longer wear so I can donate them to a women’s shelter in town. As I’m doing this, I pull out a purse and realize it’s the one I had on my trip to Boston. I find the letter that Jamie left for me. A chill runs through me as I remember how much I hurt him.

Although, I’m making good progress on my new priorities to become independent, _I’m concerned this letter may be an anchor around my neck. I know I will always wonder what’s inside._

It’s time I hear his final words to me. I take a deep breath and my shaking hand runs over the front of the envelope where it says ‘Sorcha.’ I carefully open it, and as I pull out the letter I feel something fall to the ground.

I pick it up and find a necklace with a pendant that has Braille on it. My fingers go over the words. “Oh Jamie.” I quietly sob as I open the letter.

_Dear Sorcha,_

_You’re probably wondering what that word means. It’s Gaelic for Claire, but it also means light. That’s what you are to me, Sassenach, my light. I know this entire time you thought I was going to be your savior, that I would be part of giving you back your sight. I would give anything for you to be able to see again. But, the thing you need to know is you’re my savior._

_It’s hard to explain, but, after my accident and losing my father, I almost gave up on life. I turned to medicine as a way to find a reason to live. I thought that would be enough, but it wasn’t. There was always a piece of my heart missing. I’ve never been in a serious relationship. Of course, I worry that no woman would be able to get past my scars but it also was because I never found anyone I wanted. My father always told me I would know when I found the one._

_The first time I saw you I was overcome by your beauty. But that really is the least of what you are to me. Your spirit and strength have left an indelible mark on my soul. I know you were scared the day we met, thinking we held your fate in our hands. But, the truth is, you held my fate in your hands. My heart was yours from that first moment. My father was right, I knew it when I saw it._

_Having the opportunity to travel with you and get to know you on a deep personal level was everything to me. All I want is for you to be happy. I thought you felt the same about me, but you somehow think that your blindness makes you unworthy of me. It’s just not true. You’re beyond worthy of me._

_I hope someday you realize how special you really are. The day of the crash, God bestowed a gift on the world by letting you live._

_I have enclosed a necklace as a small token of my affection. You have my number and if you ever need me I’ll be there._

_Forever Yours, Jamie_

I’m sniveling by the time I’m done with the letter. I keep running my fingers over the pendant that says, ‘I Love You.’

I lay in bed trying to figure out what I should do. I read the letter over a dozen times. After what seems like hours, my tears dry up and I fall into a restless sleep.

**_________________**

Geillis shakes me awake, “Claire, it’s late, we need to go.” 

I turn over in bed and Geillis says excitedly, “Wait, is that the letter from Jamie?”

I’m beyond exhausted and am still trying to open my eyes. “Yes, Geil. I found it last night and read it.” My voice breaks. “He poured his heart out to me and I’m feeling a bit shattered.”

“Oh, hen, I’m hoping ‘shattered’ means you understand how important he is to your very existence. I want to hear more but we have to get moving. Remember, Willa has all the volunteers showing up at 9am and we are meeting her before.”

I take a quick shower; turning it on cold to wake me up. I’m still in a daze as Geillis pushes me out the door with some of her coffee in my hand.

We pick up Fergus and walk over to meet Willa to go over the plan. She says she has five volunteers who will help. Many of them are gathering supplies and John is going to stop by after his last class at 11am. 

We start marking out the ground as the supplies are brought on site. They begin building the plant boxes. Fergus has a ball using a power screwdriver. Within a few hours all of the boxes are built and the soil has been mixed and added. I hear Willa call out to the person who brought the plants and seeds. 

I suddenly turn around and the hairs on the back of my neck stand up when I hear a familiar voice. 

_No, no, no. This can’t be happening. I’m not ready to talk with him._ I grab Geillis, “Please tell me that’s not Jamie.” 

“Oh goodness Claire, it is.”

“Did you tell Jamie or Dougal about this?”

“No lass, I value my life. What are ye going to do?”

“Well, I can’t do anything at the moment given everyone is here to help me and I don’t think I’m ready to talk with him yet.” 

I’m hyperventilating and Geillis rubs my back to calm me. I ask Geillis, “Where is he now?”

“Well, he’s talking with wee Fergus and John. Listen, you should at least acknowledge him.”

“Oh God. I don’t know Geillis. I think I may fall apart.” I bite my lip, say a silent prayer and finally whisper to her, “Take me to him.”

Geillis walks me over. My heart is pounding and I can feel blood rush in my ears. _Please, please don’t faint._

I feel a small hand grab my fingers. “Milady, I want you to meet my new friend, Jamie.”

I shyly smile and play along. “Hi, Jamie. It’s nice to meet you.” He takes my hand in his and we shake but he does not let go as his thumb rubs the back of my hand. I gasp as a warm sensation invades my body. 

I compose myself and say, “Thank you for coming today to help.”

My heart swells when I hear the deep timbre of his voice respond, “It’s nice to meet ye lass. I’m so happy to help with your garden. Wee Fergus has been talking my ear off about ye.”

I laugh. “Of course, he has.”

Fergus pulls me away and whispers, “Milady, Jamie is very nice and I heard one of the ladies say he’s gorgeous. He would make a good boyfriend, no?”

I groan. “Fergus did Jamie put you up to this?”

“No, no milady. I just thought you’re lonely and he could make you happy.”

I wrap my arms around his shoulders and give him a hug, kissing his mop of curly hair. 

I’m pulled away as the volunteers need me to make decisions on planting. An hour later someone comes with drinks and food for the group. We all grab some and take a rest before we finish our work. I can hear Fergus as he continues to talk with Jamie. 

Geillis and John come to sit by me on the grass. John puts his arm around my shoulder and kisses my cheek saying, “Claire, what are you planning to do?”

I lean into his shoulder and answer, “I’m not sure what to do. I just want to get through this day.”

Jamie seems to understand I need space and keeps his distance. I thank all of the volunteers and tell them I will send pictures as my garden grows and they can stop by any time.

Geillis says she and John are going to take Fergus for some ice cream and get him back home. I know her true intentions but I need to finish up with Willa so I tell her I’ll meet up with her later. 

Willa comes up to me after Geillis leaves. “Claire, you seemed awkward around Jamie today. This is the first time he volunteered with us. He said he had a patient who made him understand the importance of gardening and wanted to help our organization.”

“No, it’s ok Willa. Jamie was one of the doctors who was part of the surgery in the US to try and give me back my sight. It’s just a little painful but I really like Jamie and am grateful he could help today.”

She leaves me to putter around the garden. I sense Jamie is nearby and take a deep breath. “Jamie, are you still here?”

“Aye, lass. I was hoping to steal a private moment with ye before I leave.”

I feel a bit dizzy as excitement and anxiety runs through my body. I try to shake it off because the last thing I want is to make him uncomfortable. “Jamie, thank you again for coming today. It’s very kind of you to volunteer your time.”

“My pleasure. I’m sorry to surprise ye. I really didn’t ken this was for ye. I just heard about this organization and wanted to help. I tried to respect yer wishes. I ken you cut off all contact because ye didn’t want to be around me. Ye looked very happy with John today. I wish you both well.”

“What? Oh, you think John and I are together?” I groan, “God no, John is like a brother to me. Also, it’s not that I didn’t want to be around you Jamie. I just knew I wouldn’t be pleasant to be around and you didn’t deserve that. You went above and beyond to help me.”

“Sassenach, I’ve missed you so much and it’s been painful being shut out. I really was hoping I could ask you on that date.”

I thought about saying no to continue down my path to let him go for his own good but then I remember his words in the letter. “Jamie, I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” I hear him sigh as I continue, “But I think I owe you that much.”

“Seriously, Sassenach? Wow, I didn’t expect that answer. You look quite weary after today. How about tomorrow? Can I take you to breakfast and maybe we can make a day of it?”

My heart swells at hearing his excitement. _Why does this man always turn my insides to mush?_ I realize my response is taking too long so I blurt out, “Ok, but let’s start with brunch because I need a good lie in tomorrow.”

“Fantastic. Mind if I walk with ye? Ye're on my way home.”

My heart quickens and I try to steady my voice. “That would be nice.”

We walk quietly for some time. I enjoy being in his presence but I’m struggling to keep the butterflies at bay. I finally speak, “I’m really sorry for the way I left it in Boston. I was completely overwhelmed after the surgery and . . .”

He interrupts me by taking my arm. “No need to apologize Sassenach. I ken it was a difficult time for ye.”

As we reach my building I ask him what the plan is tomorrow.

“It’s a surprise. Be sure to dress comfortably and wear hiking boots if ye have them.”

We say our goodbyes and I head into the building. Jamie has me back to feeling like I did in Boston before my world fell apart. I try to calm my excitement and tell myself that this date may end up being our final goodbye.

When I enter the flat Geillis jumps out to interrogate me. “So, how did it go with Fraser. Did ye tell him ye love him too?”

“God Geillis, you scared the life out of me. No, I did not. He asked me out and we will spend the day together tomorrow. Are you happy now?”

“You say yer spending the whole day with Jamie? I think ye're the one who’ll be happy Claire.”

I roll my eyes and swing my cane to hit her. Geillis laughs as she easily gets away. 

I finally get a hold of her and give her a great big hug. “Thanks, Geil for everything you do for me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will continue to thank my beta, JeSuisPrest, for all of her lovely editing and positive feedback.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie and Claire have their date and they finally talk. 6,500+ words so it's a long read. NSFW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warm thanks to my beta, JeSuisPrest, for editing this story while writing four of her own. Thanks again to everyone who has taken time to provide feedback. It means the world to me.

On Sunday I stand helplessly in front of my closet trying to decide what to wear to brunch with Jamie. I rub the nape of my neck and swallow hard. Even though he gave me the dress code, my stomach is in knots, and I taste bile in my throat. It’s been five weeks since we spent a day together. My brain is a mess trying to justify if this is the right move or not. 

I pick out some jeans that I recall look good on me and pair them with a white tank top and light blue button-down shirt. I pull on some hiking boots and tie my hair into a messy bun. 

I find Geillis in the living room. “Hen, ye look good but let’s put some make-up on to give ye some color.”

“Ugh, Geil. I prefer to be natural.”

“Lass, yer paler than a ghost.”

“Thanks, Geil. I actually feel like I could vomit, so you may want to keep your distance.”

“Dinna fash you’ve been out with Jamie countless times before.”

“The big difference is that was pre-surgery when I had hopes and dreams. Post-surgery those have all been dashed. I still don’t understand why he wants to be with me.”

“Listen Claire, he loves ye, and ye being blind doesn’t matter to him.”

I nod as I bring my hands to cover my eyes. _In my heart I don’t think Jamie understands the hardships of a relationship with me._

“Hen, before you go, please tell me ye shaved well.“

I could feel my face go red. “Damn it Geil, leave me be. It doesn’t matter if I shaved well or not. Jamie won’t be seeing those bits.” I shake my head because now I’m worried I didn’t shave well. _Fuckin Geillis!_

Geillis puts some make-up on my face and lets my hair down. “Ye never ken when said bits will be on display. Sometimes love just catches ye by surprise.”

“You mean lust, Geil, and I have mine under control.” 

“Hen, I’m not sure any red-blooded woman could keep that under control around James Fraser. Although in this instance it may benefit you to be in the dark.”

I groan and my heart races when I hear the doorbell. _What I have gotten myself into?_

Geillis helps me stand and goes to answer the door. 

A million thoughts seem to run through my mind before the door opens. _What the hell am I doing? I can’t go out on a date with Jamie Fraser._

Geillis shouts, “Earth to Claire. Have ye fallen asleep on yer feet woman?”

“What, I’m sorry?”

I hear Jamie laugh. “Hello Sassenach. Ye look lovely. Are ye ready to go?”

My hands shake and I feel something funny in my stomach. _I’ll probably puke any minute now._ I delay my response so I can take a few breaths. Finally, I say, haltingly, “Hey Jamie . . . I’m more than ready to get away from Geillis before she throws me in the tub to shave my legs.” _What the hell did I just say? Ugh._

Jamie chuckles and I blush at my outburst. “Let’s go lass. Our adventures await.”

I grab my cane and head towards the door with Jamie following me. Once we reach the street I ask Jamie what we’re doing.

“That’s still a surprise lass. Let’s get you in my SUV.”

I hear a door open and Jamie guides me in. I fold down my cane and put my seatbelt on as Jamie gets into the driver’s seat.

“A little info would be nice, Jamie.”

He takes a long time to respond, and I feel my face flush which may be from anger or maybe arousal; my brain seems to be playing tricks on me so I can’t decide. 

“Well, first we’ll go for brunch at The Rendezvous Café so we have sustenance to see us through the first part of our day.”  
  


“Mmmmm, I love their vegetarian breakfast. What will we do after that?”

“Sassenach, I want to dole out my surprises slowly so the anticipation builds.”

I groan, “Jamie, you don’t know this about me but I hate surprises and being blind I like to be prepared for what’s coming.”

“Oh God, I’m sorry I didn’t think about how this would worry you; I feel terrible so I’ll-.” He stops abruptly when I begin to laugh hysterically. 

“Ye were feckin pulling my leg, and here I felt horrible. Damn ye had a good poker face for like 10 seconds.”

“Oh Jamie, you know my poker face can last much longer than that.” I feel my heart and stomach begin to settle. Smiling, I add, “I actually do hate surprises but I’ll let you have this one.”

We arrive at the café and are immediately seated. We each order the vegetarian breakfast. I try to keep shoveling food in my mouth so I don’t have to speak. _I realize I have no idea what I would say to him._

“So, Sassenach. How was the week with Carrie and the flight home?”

“Well, it was nice catching up with Carrie.” I laugh, “She’s so much like Geillis. Though, she may have even less of a filter, if you can believe it.”

“Dougal told me about Geillis. He’s mad about her. I’ve never seen him so taken with anyone before. I think they both have fiery tempers.”

“That they do and a fiery sex life to match it.”

“Ewww Sassenach. I don’t like to think of my uncle’s sex life.”

I smirk, “Sorry, I have to hear all about it from Geillis.”

“So, did you do ok on the flight back?”

I pause as I consider whether I want to continue my deception but decide this man deserves my honesty. My voice is shaky when I say, “I lied to you Jamie.”

Jamie takes hold of my hand.

“Carrie didn’t come back to Scotland with me. I came back on my own.”

“Oh Sassenach, why?”

I blink back tears. “It was really hard to be around you after the surgery. You were so incredibly sweet to me, but I felt like a huge disappointment. I wanted to get home as soon as I could, and I didn’t want you to change your plans even though you said you would.”

Jamie pulls back but keeps a tight grasp on my hand. “I understand lass. I saw how hard it was for ye.”

I nod shamefully. “The airline offers attendants to guide blind people through the airport. I took a sedative on the first flight and that allowed me to sleep through most of it. The second flight was too short, so I had to be awake; it was terrifying. I thought about you the whole time. Even though you weren’t there you still helped me through it.”

I reach across the table and Jamie gives me his other hand. “I’m glad ye made it home safely, Sassenach. I would have given anything to be with ye, but I’m glad yer here with me now.”

I clear my throat and say, “Thank you Jamie.” I let go of his hands and run a hand through my hair. “So, when will you tell me about the next part of our adventure?”

He stands and pulls me out of the booth. “Patience, Sassenach. All will be revealed in good time.”

While he pays the bill, I take a bathroom break. As I attempt to exit the stall the handle on the lock breaks off and the door won’t open. _Seriously, the fucking universe is against me._ I refuse to call for help so I decide the only move I have is to slide out below the stall door. It’s disgusting getting down on the bathroom floor knowing what could be there but it’s my only option to avoid any embarrassing rescue. Once I clear the door I realize I have to bend to avoid hitting the wall. 

I’m mortified but happy I made it on my own. I wash my hands and my arms and run a wet towel over my hair. _I feel like I need a shower and a new set of clothes._

Jamie meets me, and we head out to the car. As I’m getting in the car he says, “Ye have a stain on the back of yer shirt that I didn’t notice before.”

“Damn it,” I screech. I shudder thinking what’s on my shirt. I proceed to tell him my story and laughs hysterically.

I’m laughing as well. I take the shirt off. “Shit Jamie, what else is planned today. Can I get away with just wearing a tank top?”

“Aye, the rest of the day is just us. I have a spare shirt if you get cold, but you look quite nice in the tank top.”

I smile and shake my head. “Oh, shut up and drive me to my adventure.”

“Yes, milady, as wee Fergus calls ye. By the way, I really enjoyed meeting him. A very smart lad that thinks the world of ye.”

“He is the sweetest boy in the world, and I love him to pieces. I met him shortly after I moved in with Geillis, and my blindness never mattered to him. We have a beautiful relationship.”

“You’re both fortunate to have each other. If ye don’t mind telling me, how did he end up in foster care in Scotland?”

“It’s such a sad story. He was born in Paris to a single mother and his upbringing was very unconventional. He lived in some sort of commune before they emigrated to Scotland when he was 6 years old. His mother died a year later. He has no other family, and they don’t know who his father is.”

“That poor lad. Is his living situation good now?”

“His foster mother has four kids; Fergus is the oldest. She’s a kind woman but overwhelmed with her younger charges who have serious behavioral issues. I really wish I could adopt him, but I don’t have a stable home. Besides, they wouldn’t allow me to do that as a blind woman.”

He grasps my hand. “Ach, that’s a shame since you could give him the best home out of anyone.”

“Thanks Jamie. That’s really sweet of you to say.”

I feel the terrain change from hard pavement to gravel. “Jamie, are we almost to the next destination?”

“Aye, we’re almost there. I hope you like what I’ve planned.”

I’m picking at my lip again, so I clasp my hands and bite my lip instead. I hear Jamie groan. I ask, “Is everything alright?”

“Aye, lass. Just stop biting yer lip. It’s distracting me.”

I giggle and place my hand over my mouth.

The car stops and Jamie is quick to open my door. As I slide out he asks, “Do you need to use the facilities or anything before we head out?”

“Jamie, can you tell me where we are? I know we must be in the countryside because I smell hay.”

“Ye are at my ancestral home, Lallybroch. I’m not sure what you remember from yer past visit, but I’m sure you will experience it quite differently with me as your tour guide.”

I find myself holding my breath and I finally let it out and stutter, “That’s...wow...quite a surprise. Are you … are you planning to introduce me to your family?”

“No, Jenny and her family are away vacationing on Skye. We have the place to ourselves.”

I sigh in relief. “That’s nice. Well then, tell me about your home.”

As we walk inside I can hear the excitement in his voice as he talks about his home.

“The three-story manor house is made of white stone and was built in 1702. The house today has been restored to match what it looked like at its inception, with modern conveniences of course. The windows are outlined in natural gray stone with a slate roof. As ye come into the kitchen here I want to show ye the original porcelain stove for heating.” 

Jamie places my hands to run along the smooth surface. “Jenny does actually do some cooking on this stove but I prefer the modern gas stove since it’s more reliable. We also occasionally use the brick oven which is built into the kitchen wall.” I run my hand over the brick. “I’m planning to cook ye a tasty dinner tonight.”

“I guess you weren’t kidding when you said this date would be all day.”

He hummed, “No Sassenach, I’ll keep ye as long as ye let me.” He continues on with the tour. “Lallybroch is also known as Broch Tuarach, meaning north-facing tower, but they also called it a lazy tower.”

“How can something that’s round be north-facing and what did they mean by lazy?”

“Good question, the door faces north and the lazy part comes from the fact that is leans slightly to the north.”

I nod. I hear Jamie rummaging through what I believe is the refrigerator. 

“Sassenach, are ye ready to go out and explore more?”

“Lead the way, Professor Fraser.”

He takes my arm and walks me outside to what I believe is the stables from the smell and the neighing. He brings me in front of a horse and places my hand on its snout. I feel the short, coarse hair and the horse’s breath on my hand.

“This fierce beast is Donas, he’s an evil-tempered reddish-brown stallion. Ye and I are going to ride him around the estate.”

“Not sure I want to be on an evil horse, Jamie.”

“Dinna fash, Sassenach. Donas is fine if I’m in his saddle. He kens who his master is.”

I smile and stand back as Jamie readies Donas. 

“Here, put this on, lass, so you don’t get a chill.” Jamie hands me a long-sleeve shirt and I put it on and button it up. He comes over and rolls up the sleeves. 

I feel Jamie’s hands around my waist as he lifts me. “Up we go Sassenach. Swing your leg up and over.”

The horse jostles me as I sit and grab the saddle tightly. Jamie swings up behind me and wraps his arms around me. I lean back and place my hands on his muscular thighs. I hear Jamie give a slight groan at my touch. I smile and lick my lips.

“We’re going to ride through various fields until we hit the edge of the estate.”

I enjoy the rhythm of the movement. It’s nice feeling my body move against Jamie, and I can’t get enough of his melodious voice. I wish I could see the beauty surrounding me but I’m comforted by the lovely soul behind me.

Suddenly we’re going very fast as I move up and down on Donas. I squeal with the delight of the dance this great creature is performing for us. Jamie laughs with me, and I feel him pull on the reigns as we slow down to a trot.

“That was exhilarating Jamie. Don’t you think the two of us are too much weight for him?”

“Nah, Donas is powerful and capable of carrying a much heavier load than us. Besides, we’re about to give him a break since our next stop is ahead.”

Jamie helps me down, and he leads me through a wooded area until we come to a body of moving water. 

“Sassenach, I have some drinks for us and some snacks if yer hungry. I also brought some towels so we can cool off in the river.”

I take a water and a bag of pretzels. “Jamie, I don’t have a bathing suit with me.”

“Me neither, so I plan to go in my briefs. I’d love for ye to join me. I promise to be a perfect gentleman.”

I smile shyly. I’m torn between concern over Jamie seeing me in my skivvies and not wanting him to be a perfect gentleman. I did work up a sweat on the horse since Jamie was a furnace behind me. 

As I hear Jamie jump in the water I think, _what the hell_. I take off my watch, boots and clothes down to my bra and panties. Jamie comes over and takes hold of my hands and leads me into the water. He whispers in my ear, “You’re so beautiful Sassenach.”

“OMG Jamie, this water is freezing. You think your kind words will make me forgive you for not warning me?” I begin to splash him and he does the same. We’re laughing and getting drenched. He comes up and wraps his arms around me, pulling me into the water so I’m floating above him. I turn towards him and dunk his head. I quickly swim away as he comes up sputtering.

“So, that’s how yer going to play it Sassenach. I can play dirty as well.”

“Better be careful Fraser. I was a lifeguard one summer in Italy and I could out-swim many boys.”

I feel him come up behind me and we giggle as he grabs me again from behind. He whispers in my ear, “I’m no boy Sassenach.” His voice sends shivers down my spine. 

Jamie swims away after disorienting me. I try really hard to listen since he has a great advantage over me. I hear him near and swim in the other direction. He grabs my leg and we roll together under the water. 

We both shoot out of the water for air. I’m shaking with laughter but also from the cold. “Jamie, I’m freezing and need to get out.”

He takes my arm and we make our way to the bank. My arms are hugging my body as I try to gain some warmth. I’m shivering so Jamie wraps a towel around my shoulders and pulls me to him, hugging me tightly. It feels so nice to be close to him. My breasts are flattened against his chest and his movement is causing some delicious friction. I catch a moan between my closed lips before it escapes. 

I wrap my arms around him and run my hands over the scars on his back and he flinches. “Is this ok Jamie?”

He whispers, “Aye.” 

As I rub his back I say, “Your scars tell the story of your survival, that you’re strong.” 

He gasps and chokes back tears. “I’ve never thought of my scars as anything positive.”

I put my head down and kiss his chest and say, “Smooth skin tells me nothing about a person. I love the texture of your back.” 

He pulls me closer to him as he puts his head on my shoulder.

I feel a throbbing between my thighs as I realize Jamie is likely feeling my hard nipples. _I had to wear a white bra today, didn't I?_ I smile as I appreciate I’m not the only one aroused. I feel Jamie’s length harden against my stomach before he stiffens and gently pulls away from me. 

I wrap the towel tighter around me and I hear Jamie moving about. I ask, “What are you doing?”

“I’m going to start a wee fire to warm us up before we head back.” He guides me to sit with him on a log once the fire is lit. 

He doesn’t let my hand go, and I lean into him and he kisses the top of my head. I let the towel go so I can get my underwear dried out. Jamie is rubbing my back and my breathing evens out as my senses focus on the popping in the fire and the smell of burning wood. 

We sit in silence until we’re both dry. Then, we dress and Jamie takes my arm to lead me out of the woods and back on Donas.

When we get back to the stables, Jamie teaches me how to brush Donas. He lets me take the brush while he covers my hand to show me the pressure I should apply. He stands really close behind me as we brush the beast together. I feel Jamie’s breaths in my hair and my stomach does summersaults. My mind wanders back to the night in the hotel when we first kissed. 

Jamie shakes me from my daydream when he asks me if I’m ready to go inside. I smile and nod. 

When we get inside the house, Jamie hands me a duffle bag. “I conspired with Geillis to pack ye a bag so you had some other clothing options in case we went for a swim.”

Jamie points me in the direction of the bathroom and he goes to wash up and start dinner. I go into the bathroom and rummage through the bag. I find a few different bras and undies. How long did Geillis think I was staying? 

I get my phone out of my pocket, and say, “Call Red Witch.” 

She picks up on the first ring. “Hen, how’s your date. Have ye done the deed?”

“Jeez, Geillis. No, we have not done the deed. But I’m having a great time. Jamie just gave me the bag you packed. Why the hell are there so many pairs of underwear?”

“Well, first I wanted ye to have options. Second, I don’t think you’ll be coming home anytime soon with his family gone. Third, you really need to scratch that itch, girl!”

“Geil, please stop. Just tell me what underwear you put in the bag. None of them are marked so they’re not mine.”

“I bought you some nice sexy underwear. First, the ones with the lace are in navy blue and there is another light green set with boy shorts that have a satin waistband and one in black satin. They’re all new and washed. Please, please try them on. Even if ye remain celibate, they’ll make ye feel sexy around yer man.”

It was nice of Geillis to buy things in different textures so I could tell them apart. “Thanks, Geil. That was sweet of you, but Jamie’s not my man, and you need to mind your damn business about my sex life or lack thereof!”

She laughs and tells me to have fun.

I realize that besides the underwear, Geillis had packed my travel toiletry bag, some yoga pants, a few t-shirts, and my favorite pjs. I imagine it will be late when dinner is finished, so staying over isn’t entirely out of the question. I feel for the labels on the clothes which are marked in Braille so I know what they are. I change into my preferred underwear and slip on some black yoga pants and a red t-shirt. 

I put on deodorant, dab some perfume on, and brush my hair. I’m sure it looks a right mess. I leave the bag in the bathroom and head to the kitchen.

I use my cane to get through the hallway, slowly making my way around unfamiliar obstacles. Jamie hears me and comes and sits me down on a bar stool at the island. “Would you like some red wine, Sassenach?”

I nod. “Something smells really good in here.”

“I have a chicken and veggie stew cooking up in the crockpot. It has carrots, potatoes, onions, and mushrooms. It started cooking when we left on our ride. Let’s have some appetizers. Open up Sassenach.”

He places a ball of cooked pastry in my mouth. “Mmmm, that’s very cheesy and good.”

“It’s a cheese savory called Gougères. There are some more in front of ye.”

I eat two more and sip my wine. “So, who taught you to cook?”

“I’m really not that much of a cook, but what I ken came from Jenny. She basically raised me after my mother died, even though she’s only a few years older than me. I think she came out of the womb bossing people around.”

I smile as my mouth is too full to laugh. I hear the ding of the crockpot and Jamie leaves to tend to dinner. I hear him open drawers and pulls some utensils out to plate dinner. 

I run my fingers through my hair wishing Geillis had packed some of my hair products. 

I’m surprised by Jamie moving in front of me. “Lass, why do ye keep fiddling with yer hair?”

“Jamie, I’m a bit self-conscious that it’s a mess.”

He comes closer and takes my hand out of my hair. “Yer hair is lovely when it’s curly, _mo nighean donn_.” I hear him take a breath, “You smell like jasmine.”

“Yea, it’s my favorite scent. What does that mean?”

“My brown-haired lass.”

“I’ve always thought brown was a rather dull color.”

Jamie’s finger twirls around one of my curls and his voice deepens as he says, “Far from dull, Sassenach. When the sun hits it, you can see your red-highlights but its darker in the curly parts.”

I’ve never appreciated my hair until now. I look towards Jamie and try to will my sight to return, if only for a moment. _I want to see the way he looks at me._

I sigh. “Thanks Jamie. Is dinner ready? I really worked up an appetite.”

He rustles around the counter and guides me to the dining room table, sitting a salad in front of me. “What type of dressing do ye favor?”

“Do you have Italian?” Very quickly he offers the dressing and sits beside me. 

I am content eating my salad and listening to the classical music Jamie has playing in the background. Soon enough we’re starting on the main course.

“This stew is wonderful, Jamie.” He reaches over and takes my hand in his, rubbing his thumb over it.

I feel a shiver run up my spine. After a dozen bites I push back my plate and rub my stomach. “I’m stuffed. Jamie, that was a lovely meal.”

“Thank ye. I have some apple pie and vanilla ice cream for dessert but we can settle in and watch the telly until our appetites return.”

I take his hand as we head to the living room. I sit on a large sectional couch and Jamie hops beside me and scoots us both back. I prop my feet up on the ottoman while he scans through our streaming options. 

“Sassenach, have ye ever seen _The Crown_? I finished season two recently. I hear the new actor who plays Prince Phillip this season is really good. It’s also available with audio descriptions for the visually impaired.”

I’m touched that Jamie found something I could enjoy. “Yes, I haven’t seen the third season yet.”

We settle in to watch the first episode. Jamie pulls me close to him and I lay my head on his shoulder. I try to listen intently to the show but I’m distracted by Jamie’s breathing. When he laughs the motion vibrates through me. 

As the credits roll Jamie says, “That’s crazy that there’s only a few months after season two and they aged the main characters so much. But what a powerhouse they have with Colman, Menzies and Bonham-Carter playing the leads.” 

“Yes, it’s been a long two years waiting for this season. Impressive to see Elizabeth juggle both governmental upheaval and Cold War paranoia in this first episode while dealing with the death of Churchill.” My bottom lip juts out thinking that last season I could actually see the show.

Sensing my mood shift, Jamie asks, “Are you up for some dessert?”

I sit up and run my fingers through my hair and I hear him laugh at my nervous habit. “Sure, but I need to use the loo first.”

Jamie maneuvers around me off the couch and brings me my cane. 

I tap my way along the hallway being sure to miss the bench that I now know is on the left. I’m thinking about how well today has gone. I pull what I need from the pocket of the jeans I wore earlier. I splash some water on my face and head back to the kitchen.

I find my way to the stool as Jamie places dessert in front of me.

“It’s one of Jenny’s award-winning pies. I heated it and added ice cream on the side.

I thank him and take the first bite. “Mmmmm”. I taste some ice cream and Jamie places something else in front of me. 

“At 1:00 you’ll find some coffee.”

“Thanks Jamie. This pie is so good.”

Jamie sits down next to me. “Sassenach, I was hoping we could talk more about what happened in Boston. I’m not sure if you read my letter . . .” I place my hand over his mouth, or more like his chin and he stops talking.

“I did read your letter.” I feel tears brimming in my eyes and take a breath to try and stop them. He takes my hands and instead of stopping the tears they begin to fall.

I clear my throat as I try to speak. “I did read your letter Jamie and it was beautiful.” My fingers ache with the need to touch him so I reach out and he grabs my hand. I sob, “You’re right, I don’t think I’m worthy of you. I think being with a blind person, in a relationship, will be a huge burden. You don’t deserve that.”

He wipes away the tears on my cheek. “Sassenach, I’ve never once felt like you were a burden. In fact, you’re the complete opposite. Being around you eases the burdens I already carry. When you left Boston, I thought I lost my one chance at true happiness. I meant what I said in the letter, _mo chridhe_ , you’re the one for me, the only one.”

He pulls me towards him and his lips touch mine, tentatively at first. When I open my mouth, he pulls me onto his lap and consumes me. My hands go around his neck as he runs a hand through my hair. He turns my head to deepen the kiss. His mouth continues to move against mine as I relinquish control to him.

Eventually, I push on his shoulders to signal my need for air. As we disconnect he bites on my bottom lip, and I groan. 

My hands go to his face. “Jamie, I’m sorry that I pushed you away. From the moment we first met, I felt an instant connection. I’ve never felt this way before.”

I reach into my pocket and pull out the necklace, rubbing my fingers over it. After a few moments, I say quietly, “Jamie, I love you too.”

I hear him gasp and with shaking hands he takes the necklace and puts it around my neck. His hand slides down until he is grasping the pendant. We are both laughing and crying. 

He holds my head in his hands and runs his thumbs under my eyes. “I need your promise Sassenach, that there’ll be no more lies between us. We have room for secrets, but no lies. Do ye agree?”

I grab his wrists and say, “I agree.”

He kisses my lips and stands, placing me on the counter. I feel him between my thighs as he rains kisses down my neck and whispers, “I want ye so much Sassenach, I can barely breathe. Will ye have me?”

“Yes.”

I move my hands and grab the hem of his t-shirt, pulling it up. He helps me take it off. My hands run over his chest; stopping to pinch his nipples as he growls and lifts my shirt off over my head. My hands return to trace his back and run my nails over his scars. He gently bites my ear and moans, “Sassenach.”

He dips me back on the counter. The striking coldness behind me is countered by the heat of Jamie’s chest against mine. He cradles my head as he tenderly grazes on my lips. My mouth opens and he explores it deeply. I can taste the smokey flavor of whiskey as he plays with my tongue. He moves to place small kisses below my ear. The fire between us ignites as he whispers all the things he wants to do to me. I moan and rub my core against him. 

His lips move down and he kisses the curve of my breast and licks his way to my nipple. He sucks and pulls, lightly biting my nipple through the lace of my bra. I put my hand in his hair and pull him closer. “Mmmm, Jamie that feels so good.” He moves to my other breast and shows it the same affection. I writhe against him and feel him pressing me in the most delicious way. 

I move my hand to run over the bulge in his jeans. I take in a breath and smile for what is to come. I feel his hand on the small of my back and he pulls me off the counter into his arms and lifts me. I wrap my legs around him and my arms go around his neck. My hands run through his hair and we kiss passionately as he stumbles up the stairs. 

He gently places me on the bed and reaches behind my back and unclasps my bra. “Yer the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

I pull him towards me and help remove his belt and unbutton his jeans. I pull down the zipper slowly and reach inside and feel his hard, smooth length. He groans and pushes me further up the bed until my head rests on some pillows.

He kisses down my stomach and pulls my pants off. He rubs his fingers between my legs. The texture of the lace between his fingers and my wetness is driving me crazy. I moan and grind into his hand. He kisses me over the lace and licks me just above where I really need his touch. He sucks on me through my thong and the scratchy texture of the lace coupled with his hot mouth has me close to losing it. My mouth opens silently as I catch my breath. He moves my thong to the side and traces a finger in my folds as his other hand massages my arse. “Oh Jamie, please.”

“Be patient Sassenach. I haven’t properly tasted ye yet.”

Sensing my desperation, he pulls off my thong leaving me bare. He places my legs on his shoulders as he slowly kisses his way down toward my hot center; alternating licks and nibbles along the way. His broad shoulders pull my legs wider apart.

He licks me from bottom to top and swirls his tongue around my clit. I grasp his hair to push him closer and moan, “Jamie, right there.” I run my nails over his scalp. He starts to suck on me lightly as he pushes two fingers inside. I’m writhing on the bed as I continue to say his name.

His pace increases and I can hear how wet I am. He curls his fingers and I feel tears run down my face as I arch my back and close my thighs around his head as I scream through my climax. Jamie pushes my thighs apart and doesn’t let up as he vigorously massages me and pushes his tongue in and out of my entrance. I think my heart will stop before I reach my second peak. 

“No, no Jamie, I can’t.” 

He hums, “You can.” His humming causes the most delicious vibration and I explode and contract around his fingers. 

My heart is racing as I try to catch my breath. I feel Jamie beside me. “Are you alive lass?”

I roll to my side and clasp my leg over his. I realize he has removed his jeans. I rub his chest and kiss his shoulder. “I think you almost killed me.”

He laughs and kisses me. I taste myself on him which turns me on more. I push him back on the bed and straddle him. I rub against his hard length and he moans deeply.

I move down and take him in my hand. I can’t even get my fingers around him. My heart beats with trepidation and excitement. I smile and take him in my mouth as I massage him. He pants, “Sassenach, I don’t think I’ll last. I want to be inside ye.”

I suck on him a little longer because it makes me feel powerful to have him like this. He pulls me up before long and I slide my wetness along his length. He breathes, “Do I need protection.”

“I’m on the pill and clean, you?”

“I’m clean.”

With that I take hold of him and he lifts me up. It’s been awhile and he’s larger than anybody I’ve ever been with so I carefully slide down onto him. We both moan. 

He remains still as I adjust to feeling so full. I smile and place my hands on his chest as I slowly ride him. 

“A Dhia, you feel so good.”

His coarse hair is rubbing me right where I need it. “Mmmm, you too.” I start to move my hips in a figure eight and groan at how deep he is. I’m moaning continuously as my senses seem to leave me. Jamie begins to thrust and I fall down onto his chest and feel my nipples slide deliciously across his chest with the movement. I moan, “Harder, Jamie” as I kiss him. 

He grunts and bends his legs which gives him more leverage. I hear the slapping of our skin and feel the sweat between our bodies. I push up on my arms to change the angle and he captures a nipple in his mouth. “Oh God, Jamie.” I feel myself going higher and higher as Jamie lets loose his desires. My back arches as my core convulses around him as waves of pleasure run through my body. With a guttural groan, he pulls my bottom tightly to him as he spills inside me.

I collapse on his chest. We are breathless. Jamie slowly rubs my back and kisses my temple. I continue to feel the effects as I unconsciously grind against him. I hear Jamie’s heart pounding along with my own. I don’t move until the unbearable heat has me sliding off him. 

I turn over and slide my hand up Jamie’s chest to his chin. I give him a kiss of gratitude. It starts to get too passionate and I push away because my body needs to recover.

I continue to pant, “Jamie, that was unbelievable. I’ve never felt anything close to that in my life.”

He kisses me tenderly and says, “Me too. I never want ye to leave my bed.”

I cuddle into his side and absently run my hand through his chest hair. “I may need to use the loo.”

He turns and tickles me. “Stop, Jamie. I really need to pee.” He rolls off the bed and comes to the other side to pull me up. “Right this way, my lady.”

I laugh as we go into his bathroom. He turns on the shower and steps in. I do my business and join him. We help each other wash and what starts as innocent kissing turns into round two. I feel the true power of his biceps as he takes me against the wall.

When we finish I ask him to grab my bag from downstairs. I change into my pjs so we can try and stave off round three until we’ve had some sleep. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The most pivotal chapter of them all. Hope you enjoy.

When I wake, it's storming outside but I’m comforted by the big arms circling me from behind. I snuggle in close to him feeling the delectable soreness from the night before. I shift my hips and feel a hardness behind me. Jamie groans and moves his hand under my shirt to tease my breast. I shiver as the thunder rolls in and his thumb runs over my nipple. I hear the downpour of the rain hitting the roof and the wind blowing hard against the windows.

Jamie kisses my neck and sleepily says, “I best tend to the animals before the storm gets worse.” He slowly gets up but dresses quickly as the storm gets louder.

After a short shower, I dress and put on my watch. Listening to a voicemail from Miss Simmons I gasp when I hear that Fergus fell down the stairs. I quickly call her number and find out he’s stable but was kept in the hospital overnight. As I put on my shoes, I tell her I’ll be there as fast as I can.

Realizing my cane is downstairs, I call Jamie’s cell for help. My heart sinks when I hear his phone on the nightstand. Not much time has passed so he must still be outside. Jamie brought me upstairs so I have no idea where I am but I’m too antsy to wait. I try to calm myself and think if I take it slow I can get downstairs. I grab Jamie’s phone and find my way to the edge of the bed; I stand and hold my hands out and walk slowly until my hands hits the wall. I follow the wall to the right until I hit the doorframe. I step outside the door and follow the wall to my right until I hit a wall in front of me. I get on my hands and knees and move forward until my hands hit the top step. I sit up and move my legs until my feet are on the first step. I remain seated and go down each step one at a time until I hit the bottom. 

I call out to Jamie but he doesn’t answer. I stand up and carefully walk against the wall into the kitchen. I hit the island and wait for Jamie to return.

Thankfully he comes in about five minutes later. I rush to tell him what happened. Before I can ask if he can drive me I hear the jangle of keys. “Come on Sassenach, let’s go. I know the weather is terrible but ye can’t let Fergus down.” 

Jamie hands me Jenny’s rain jacket. “You’re going to need this.” We run to the car. The rain blows sideways, soaking our pants and faces. After we’re buckled in the car I grab Jamie’s hand. “Thank you for driving. Please be careful.”

We drive down the gravel road and I hear torrential rainfall, thunder and the quick swishing sound of windshield wipers. I bite my lip again and try to calm down my breathing. 

We don’t get very far before Jamie yells, bracing his arm against me as the car swerves. The vehicle leaves the pavement and I have a fleeting recognition of us being airborne before impact. 

Waking up, I feel wetness all around me. I flail my arms when I realize I’m sitting in water. I scream for Jamie, but my cries are met with silence. We must be in the river close to his property. I unbuckle my seatbelt and grab Jamie’s arm. He’s slumped over the steering wheel and not moving. Touching him to see how badly he's injured; I feel wetness at his temple . . . blood. My hand goes to his throat, and I sigh in relief when I find a strong pulse.

“Jamie, Jamie, wake up, please. If you don’t wake up we’re going to die.”

Taking a few deep breaths to try and calm myself down, I touch my watch and say, “Call 999.” Nothing. I push the button and scream, “Call 999.” Searching through the car, I find my purse under the water; my phone is dead. 

I search around for Jamie’s phone but it’s not in his pockets or in the front of the car. Grabbing his arm I sob, “Oh Jamie, please, please don’t do this.” 

A tightness squeezes my chest and I hyperventilate. I squeeze my eyes shut and when I open them I see smoke. I try to scream for Jamie but nothing comes out. I look down and see a small body in my arms. I shake my head and chant, “I’m not on the plane. I’m not on the plane.” 

The vision slowly disappears as I feel shooting pains in my head and neck. 

Wiping tears from my eyes, I shout, “Come on Beauchamp, calm the fuck down so you can to find a way out.” 

My hands shake as I fight to get the door open; praying we’re in a shallow part of the river. We must be submerged under water because I can’t open it. My body tenses and I feel heat flushing my body. Hearing water rushing into the car I check the window on my side and it’s intact. Leaning into the dash, I feel water coming in through the seam of the windshield. 

Reaching over Jamie, I try to free him from his seatbelt but it’s jammed. I sit on his lap and kiss him to try and wake him. “Jamie, I need you to wake up love. I’m not leaving this car so I can live and you die. That’s not happening again. PLEASE GOD HELP ME!”

Massaging my neck, I try to think through the pain. Moving back to the passenger seat I reach out and open the glovebox, frantically searching with my fingers. My hand wraps around a tool that I know will break the windshield but if I do that Jamie may die. I can also use it to slice his seatbelt but am I strong enough to get him out? 

The water is now at chest level. “What the FUCK DO I DO?”

Clenching my fists, I see flashing lights behind my eyes. Gritting my teeth, I fight to stave off another panic attack. Time is running out; I have to make a move now. Reaching under the water at Jamie’s feet I check and make sure there is nothing that will prevent me from moving him. Using the tool, I cut through his seatbelt to free him. To swim faster, I remove my shoes and jacket.

Cradling Jamie’s head, I cry, “I’m going to break the windshield and if we’re lucky I can get us both to the surface.” I kiss him and pull him close to me and sob into his ear, “I love you so much.” My heart is pounding through my chest. 

As I shatter the window water pours inside. I take a deep breath and as the car floats down I grab Jamie and swim through the opening. I’m behind Jamie holding him under his chin and swimming as fast as I can to the surface. 

I struggle to keep from breathing in water as I fight for air. It’s difficult swimming with Jamie’s dead weight. Finally, we break through the surface of the water. Taking a huge gulp of air, I swim towards what I hope is the bank, continuing to hold on tight to Jamie. 

Reaching shallow water, I drag Jamie by his arms and drop him as soon as his feet clears the water. Checking I find not pulse and he’s not breathing. I place my shaking right hand on his forehead and use my left hand to tilt his chin. Pulling down his chin, I pinch his nose and put my mouth directly on top of his and blow twice. Locating the center of his chest, I start chest compressions using my entire body weight. Counting to 30 and then switching back to breathe for him. After doing 30 more compressions I breathe for him two more times and repeat. 

In my mind I recite my training, _Push hard, push fast. Push hard, push fast. Push hard, push fast._

It’s been too long. I punch his chest and scream, “You don’t get to die on me you fucking bastard.” Suddenly, through the blood rushing in my ears, I hear Jamie coughing. Turning his head, I lean my ear to his mouth to listen to his breathing.

He whispers, “Sassenach, Sassenach."

“Jamie, I’m here,” I cry. “Just be calm and breathe. We were in a car accident.”

He pants, “Why am I wet?”

Wiping the tears from my eyes, I place my hands on his face. “The car went over the embankment and into the river. I had to pull you out and give you CPR.”

“How could ye do that? Are ye ok?”

Laughing, I squeeze his hand and say, “I’m stronger than I look. I’m fine, my head hurts but I’ve had worse.”

We hear someone yell at us from above to say they called an ambulance. Sitting with Jamie’s head in my lap, I pray that his injuries are not serious. 

When the ambulance arrives, they assess Jamie and I reluctantly let go of his hand as they put him on the gurney and pull him up the hill. They put a neck brace on me which I tell them is not necessary. I’m allowed to walk on my own with some assistance to the vehicle. 

They let me stay in the back with Jamie on the ride to the hospital. They place Jamie on oxygen. I sit back and listen to the heart monitor and ask the paramedic how he’s doing.

“He has a laceration on his head and likely a concussion but everything else looks fine for now.”

On the way to the hospital, I feel dizzy and ask for a bag to throw up in. I hear Jamie tell the paramedic to let me switch places with him. 

“Jamie, I’m fine.” _Though I feel like my heart will come out of my chest._

“Sassenach, you’re not fine. Ye look pale and...” Jamie’s voice gets fainter and fainter until it’s gone.

**_________________**

Drifting in and out of sleep, I feel a tingling sensation around my eyes. Hearing a voice in the distance I strain to listen. Someone whispers in my ear, “What do you see, Madonna?”

My vision clears and I see a man. He sounds like Mr. Raymond. I finally respond, “Blue wings.”

He moves his hands slowly down my face and says, “Blue is the color of healing. The wings will carry your pain away if you let them.”

His warm, comforting hands lull me back to sleep.

Sometime later, I hear another voice as I slowly open my eyes. “Sassenach, you’re awake. How are ye, mo chridhe?”

I just stare at him in a daze and mumble, “Who, who are you?”

“I’m Jamie, lass. Do ye not remember me?”

I try to remove the tubes in my arm. “What? Am I dreaming?”

He takes my hand and begins to get out of the wheelchair when Geillis enters the room and yells for him to sit.

I fight for some composure as the tears stream from my eyes. 

My hands are shaking. “I must be dreaming. This isn’t real.”

Jamie looks at Geillis and back at me. “Yer ok Sassenach, yer in the hospital. Remember, we had a car accident.”

“Yes, I know and I’m dreaming. Maybe I’m in a coma.”

Geillis says I may be having a reaction to the drugs.

I close my eyes and will myself to wake up.

I feel Jamie’s lips on mine as he gently kisses me. I sob, “Jamie, is that really you?”

“I’m alive Sassenach, thanks to ye. Just a concussion but Jenny always said my head was hard as a rock.”

I begin to cry and Jamie cradles my head.

“Are ye in pain?”

“Kiss me again.”

He leans down and kisses me, and I keep my eyes open the entire time. So does he.

When he releases me, I smile.

“Tha gaol agam oirbh, agus bithidh gu bràth.”

“What does that mean?”

He kisses me softly and says, “I love you. I always will.” 

“I’m so happy Jamie. It’s so nice to finally see you with my own eyes. You’re beautiful.”

He looks around at Geillis, “Ye should get the doctor. She seems really spaced out.”

“Jamie, you have the most amazing blue eyes. Geil, you were right. He’s way better than the man of my dreams.”

He smiles, “Ye can see me, lass?”

I raise my hands to feel his face, “Yes, I don’t know how but I can see."

Jamie kisses me again. He’s crying so hard his tears are mixing with mine. 

“Jamie, I appreciate the show and all but you should sit down.”

Jamie realizes his gown is open in the back so Geillis gets a nice look at his backside.

I gasp as I remember why we were in the car in the first place. “How’s Fergus?”

“He’s ok lass, Miss Simmons took him home last night. He has a broken arm and a concussion to match us. He doesn’t ken about our accident.”

Geillis runs over to hug me tightly. Through tears she says, “Damn, Beauchamp. Yer always trying to die on me.”

I hold her to me and can’t stop smiling at seeing the feisty woman who always refuses to leave my side. “You got that wrong Geil,” I manage to choke out. “I’m always fighting to live for you.”

“Good thing or I’d track ye down in heaven and kick yer arse.” 

Our laughter is cut short as Dr. Raymond comes in to examine me. He gives me a sly smile. I squint my eyes as I try and pull a memory that refuses to clearly reveal itself. I have a fleeting vision of blue wings but I shake it off as a remnant of my concussion. 

**____________**

My tests all appear normal. Mr. Raymond pulls some strings so Jamie and I can share a room.

The lights are turned down low in the room and they gave me sunglasses as my eyes get sensitized to lights again. 

Jamie takes a call from Jenny who reports they’re leaving early from their vacation to come back and see him. Even though the call is not on speaker, I can hear Jenny arguing with Jamie. 

“Jenny, there’s no need to come home early. I’m good and will see you in 10 days when you get back.”

“Aye, Jenny. I promise ye all is well. Aye, I’ll tell Claire what ye said. Love ye too. Bye.”

I smile at Jamie as he hangs up the phone.

Jamie comes over to sit in bed with me. “Jenny wanted me to thank ye for saving me. She plans to cook ye dinner when she’s back in town.”

“Mmmmm, that sounds good. Do you think she will give me the third degree to see if I’m right for her wee brother?”

Jamie kisses my neck. “Very funny Sassenach. But, she will ask lots of questions. She’s very protective of me.”

He removes my sunglasses so he can look in my eyes. I squint ag him as he caresses the skin around my eyes and kisses me tenderly. _I think I’ve never been happier in my life._

There’s a knock on the door and Geillis yells, “Are ye decent?”

I roll my eyes and say, “Come in Geil.”

The door opens and Fergus runs over to the bed. Jamie moves so he can crawl up and hug me. My hand goes through his brown curls as I stare. I choke back my tears and say, “Sweet boy, I’ve missed you. Here let me see that face.” I turn his face to look at me. 

_His eyes are incredibly beautiful_. I kiss his temple and squeeze him tight to me as tears flow down my face.

Fergus looks at me. “Milady, do you feel sick?”

“No sweetheart, it’s just so nice to see you after all this time. You’re so handsome.”

Fergus blushes and kisses both my cheeks. 

I ask, “How are you feeling after your big fall?”

“Good now. I’m so glad you and Jamie are better.”

I give him another hug and look at Jamie. “Me too.”

“So, milady, you took my advice.”

“Huh?”

“Jamie is your boyfriend now, no?”

Jamie and I laugh and say together, “Oui.”

Fergus stays for two hours and we break out the cards to play a few games. Jamie teaches Fergus how to play war and we sign his cast. Fergus loves the skull that Jamie drew.

I cannot hold in my smile as I watch my two men interact. I dream about a possible future with both of them. 

Geillis breaks up the fun and tells us she has to get Fergus home. We reluctantly say our goodbyes.

After they leave, I lean against Jamie and feel silly that I have more tears in my eyes.

“What is it Sassenach?”

“I’m just so happy.”

Jamie kisses my hair. “I’ve been thinking about the future. Ye ken I’m going to be setting up my own practice and I want to ask you to join me. I think Broch Mordha would benefit from having a homeopathic healer. What do ye think?”

Incredulously I ask, “You mean work with you in your practice?”

“Aye, I’d love to be able to spend my days with you as we help people.”

I turn to him and bring my hand to his chin, kissing him. “I’d love that so much Jamie.”

“Wonderful. We can talk more about logistics when we get home.”

The last part of his sentence ran through my brain but I let it go for now. I want to bask in the pleasure of this moment.

_____________

We spend the next two days in the hospital. We have a video chat with Dr. Abernathy before we are discharged.

“Hey, Joe how are ye doing.”

“Fine Jamie, how are you both?”

“We’re really grateful.”

I smile and say, “It’s so nice to see your face. Dr. Abernathy, have you looked at my recent scans? Do you agree with my original diagnosis of hysterical blindness?”

“I can’t be sure but my gut tells me no.” 

Jamie and I both sit up eager to hear what he found.

“I compared your recent scans to the earlier ones. I should note that most people have one artery that supplies blood to the visual cortex. Turns out your visual cortex is supplied by two arteries and both of them must have been damaged from the injuries you sustained in the plane crash. We repaired the main artery during your last surgery and while that seemed to alleviate your migraines and eye pain it didn’t restore your vision.”

Dr. Abernathy rustles through some papers and continues, “My best guess is that the second artery was tangled and your recent head injury allowed this artery to be untangled. It really is a medical miracle and not something we could have easily accomplished through surgery.” 

Jamie turns to me and brings his hands to hold my face. “Sassenach, why are ye crying?”

Laughing I say, “I think it’s because so many people thought my blindness was in my head and it feels good to know it wasn’t. Well, technically it was but you know what I mean.”

I do have one concern I want to discuss. “Dr Abernathy, do you think this is permanent? Is there any chance this artery could become tangled again?”

“In my opinion, this is permanent so enjoy your vision and know my whole team is so happy for you both.”

Jamie laughs and gives me a kiss. We thank Dr. Abernathy again and say goodbye.

_______________

When we are released from the hospital we stay at Jamie’s flat in Inverness. Geillis brings over some of my things so I can be comfortable.

I find myself constantly staring at Jamie. I can’t get over how handsome he is. The fine lines of his jaw. His supple lips. Those amazing hands. I find it hard to keep from touching him. 

We decide to order in and keep things low key. As I finish my last slice of pizza I look over at Jamie who is eating ravenously. I laugh as I watch him consume his meal. He smiles when he catches me looking at him.

“Sassenach, ye must love what ye see since ye can’t seem to keep yer eyes off me.”

I giggle and crawl over to him and lick around his lips to clean off the sauce. “Well, tis true James Fraser is very handsome but it also occurs to me he eats like a pig.”

He grabs and tickles me. We laugh until I hear him wince in pain. I give him a chaste kiss and pull away. “Maybe we should go to bed early so we can continue our recuperation.”

I spend the first hour in bed watching Jamie lost in slumber. I touch the smile on his face and lean in for one last kiss before I sleep.

**_____________**

The following day we pick up a rental car so we can go back to Lallybroch to continue our convalescence They have employees who can help take care of the animals but Jamie likes to help out when he can. 

On the drive, I find it overwhelming with all of the different things to see. I barely know where to look first. But I always find myself coming back to watch Jamie. 

We talk about the medical practice. “I’m taking over for Mackenzie, he’s been doctoring for the past 25 years. Has lots of patients. Many of them geriatric, who could benefit from a homeopath.”

I smile. “Jamie, I want to invest in this practice with you. I have money from an inheritance.”

He grabs my hand resting on his thigh and brings it to his mouth to kiss. “Aye Sassenach, we can talk about the financial details and everything else over the weekend.”

I sense Jamie tensing when we pass the place where I think we went into the river. I see the damaged vegetation so I’m certain this is the spot.

I see tears in Jamie’s eyes and I squeeze his hand hard. He looks at me as he blinks them away.

I gasp as we drive up to Lallybroch. “Wow, Jamie. It’s been so long since I’ve seen it. It’s so beautiful.”

When we get out of the car I walk around and lean against him, taking in the view of this great home. Jamie kisses my neck and pushes me towards the door.

“One of our hands fed the animals this morning so we have some time before I have to do my chores.” 

“Jamie, you need to take it easy.”

He smacks my bum. “I know. I will just be feeding them which doesn’t take much energy.”

He takes me to his bedroom and I eye the bed where we first made love. I sit down as Jamie stores my bag. I lay back with my legs hanging off the bed and close my eyes. 

Jamie turns me and moves my legs on the bed, removing my shoes. “Do ye fancy a wee nap?” 

I pull him towards me. “Will you nap with me?” He lays on the bed with me and kisses my nose; pulling a tartan blanket over us to cuddle. I turn over on my side and lay my head on his chest and fall asleep to him rubbing my back.

I wake up to the blanket wrapped tightly around me. I frown when I realize my bedmate has left me alone. I rise without my normal trepidation knowing I can walk around the house without fear of bodily injury. As I walk out the door my hand feels empty without my cane.

I come out into the hallway and listen for Jamie. As I go down the stairs I run my hand over the wooden bannister. I bet Jamie slid down this when he was a child. 

I call out to Jamie but hear no response. As I consider going to retrieve my shoes I hear him come in from outside.

“Jamie, there you are. You’re soaking wet.” I run over to him as he removes his jacket.

“The weather turned pretty quickly but I got the animals bedded down for the evening.”

“You should go up and take a warm shower and I can make us some comfort food.”

He gives me a kiss and heads up the stairs. Looking around the kitchen, I gather the ingredients I need to make grilled cheese sandwiches. I find a Vitamix blender and know I can make a quick tomato soup with the right ingredients.

After pouring two cups of water to the blender, I throw in tomatoes, carrots, celery, green onions, garlic, basil, and a vegetable bouillon cube. Instead of milk, I opt to use some cashews to make the soup creamy. Setting a timer for five minutes, I turn on the blender. I flip the sandwiches and turn off the stove. 

Checking my watch for the time, I think about how long it took me to learn Braille. Shaking my head with a smile. It feels good to do the small things again, like cook. _I want to be able to take care of Jamie for a change._

As I’m plating the food, Jamie comes up behind me and nibbles on my neck. I turn around and run my fingers through his damp hair and kiss his lips. He helps me carry everything to the table. 

“This is great soup Sassenach. Very creamy.”

“Thanks. It’s so simple to make and you had all the ingredients.”

“Yea, living on a farm has its advantages. I’ll have to show ye the greenhouse tomorrow. Ye’ll love it.”

When we finish dinner, I refuse Jamie’s offer to help wash up and push him into the living room to find us something to watch.

When I’m done I join him on the couch and sink into his chest. I steal the remote from him and place it aside as I straddle his lap and kiss him deeply. 

Jamie places his hands on my backside and pulls me tightly to him. “Mmmmm Sassenach, did ye change yer mind about watching something.”

“Maybe we should call it an early night. You’re probably tired from tending to the animals.”

“Sounds good Sassenach but how about a long soak in my bathtub?”

“That sounds good. Why don’t you go to bed and I can take the bath I’ve been dreaming of?”

I see a look of disappointment on his face. “Aw, I thought maybe I could join ye.”

I smile and continue to tease, “Jamie, I don’t think you will behave and we’re still sore from the accident.”

He runs his hands down my arms. “Oh, I can behave. I’m not sure ye can, but I’m willing to take the chance.”

He takes my hand and leads me to the bathroom. I’m pleased to see a large clawfoot bathtub. I’m full of nervous energy as I realize this will be the first time I see Jamie completely. I let out a giggle.

Jamie turns on the bath and adds some sandalwood oil. As the bath water runs Jamie leans in to help me undress. I stop his hands.

“It’s my turn to see you Jamie. Fair is fair.”

He smiles and removes his shirt. I slowly go around him and touch his amazing body. I run my hands down the hard muscles of his chest and abdomen and I kiss all of the bruises that the seatbelt left on his shoulder, chest and stomach. I pull down his sweat pants and gasp when I find he has nothing else on.

“Ye like what ye see Sassenach?”

I roam around him again as I slide my hands over his fine arse. “Mmmmm, you know I do.” 

I come around and skim my hands along his back to the muscles of his biceps, around to his nipples and down his stomach. I pull on the hairs below his bellybutton and he inhales. I run my hand over his length and massage him.

He moans and finally pushes me back. I give him a sly smile as he grabs me behind the neck and kisses me deeply. 

He makes quick work of my clothes and then slips in the water and turns off the tap. He raises an arm to help me ease in.

I moan, “Oooh, that feels good.” Both from the heat of the bathwater and the sensual slide against Jamie’s chest. I massage his thighs as he brings his hands to rubs circles on my stomach. We relax and enjoy the water and each other.

I take one of Jamie’s hands and hold it in mine. I admire the long fingers and shudder remembering what they can do to me. I bring his hand to my mouth and suck on his thumb. He lets out a long groan. I feel him hardening behind me and I bite his thumb before I slide it down my chest to rest on my breast.

Jamie moves my hair away from my neck and nibbles on my ear while his hand plays with my hard nipple. He whispers, “Yer skin is like fine porcelain and so soft.”

I moan and wiggle my bum. Jamie growls softly in my ear, “Now who’s the naughty one?” I feel my nipples tighten as he slips his hand below my belly button. He pulls my thighs apart and settles my legs on top of his.

I bend my arm back to tangle my hand in his hair and scrape the back of his neck with my nails. He groans and presses harder against me. He finally moves his fingers into my wet core. “Ahhh . . . Jamie . . . please.”

Jamie asks, “What do ye want?” as he trails kisses along my jaw and pulls on my nipple. I’m about to answer when his thumb circles my clit and he slips one finger inside me.

“Ahhh . . . Ahhh . . .” I cry out, moaning and pressing my hips forward. “Jamie” He adds another finger and increases his movement. 

Jamie groans in my ear, "God Sassenach, you’re so wet. You’re driving me crazy." I feel him twitch behind me. The next time my hips buck into his hand he slips a third finger in me. I feel my walls fluttering against him.

“Jamie, fuck, don’t stop.” He works his hand faster and curls his fingers. I arch against his chest as I let go and pulse around his hand. Jamie slides his hands up to caress my nipples as he waits for me to come around.

I fight to control my breath. I get up and slowly turn around facing Jamie and kiss him passionately. I slide against his length and nibble on his lips. I get lost in those blue eyes as I pant at the delicious friction.

He pulls me back and gasps, “Ye feel alright? Not too sore to continue?”

I move back and kiss his lips and moan, “I’m good if you are.” He answers by raising me up off him. I reposition him and slide down slowly. I groan loudly and teeter on the edge with the first few strokes.

Jamie’s hands massage my arse as we gently move against each other. “Let’s go slow Sassenach.”

I nod and glide back and forth against him, whimpering softly. My hands are on his shoulders as our chests slide against each other. I bite his earlobe which causes him to thrust hard into me. I squeak, “Jamie, slooow.” 

Jamie laughs and grabs me tightly behind my back to limit my movements. His forehead leans into my shoulder as he takes over. Water sloshes over the sides of the tub. I stay still and enjoy the sensations. I can feel it building as I moan, “I’m close.” 

Jamie presses my pelvis tighter to his, adding more friction to my throbbing clit. “Oh God, Jamie.” I put my elbows on his shoulder and my hands are in his hair as I begin to move up and down. 

Jamie draws a nipple in his mouth and sucks hard. “Mmmmm Jamie. Faster, faster, ” I pant. My neck arches back as I bite my lip and let out a long groan.

He pulls me back to look in his eyes as we share our breaths as he slides in and out of me. Jamie breaks and bites into my shoulder. I feel him release into me and I cry out as I convulse around him. 

I sigh and lay my head on his shoulder and pepper small kisses along his neck. We end with a sensual kiss as the last flutters of our release subside. 

I push back from him so I can look at his face. I smile as I see the way he looks at me. I run my fingers over his lips and say, “I love you Jamie.”

Jamie looks intensely in my eyes, “Your face is my heart, Sassenach, and the love of you is my soul.”

We give each other one last slow kiss. He offers me an arm as I step out of the tub. I turn around and offer him mine in return. We stretch our sore muscles and laugh as Jamie catches me take one last glance down his body.

Jamie dries us off with a towel. I giggle as I run into the bedroom to find my pjs. Jamie pokes his head out. “What’s so funny?”

“Not funny really. I’m just happy and I haven’t been able to run in such a long time.” I come over and hug him. “It feels so good to finally be free.”

Jamie kisses my nose and slaps me playfully on the arse. “You can run naked in front of me any time.” I glare at him with a smirk on my face and smack his arse even harder.

Jamie raises his hands in surrender and then grabs my arms before I can hit him again, We fall into bed. Jamie gives me one last kiss before he cuddles me to his chest. 

As I lay contently in the arms of my love, I silently thank God for all I’ve been given. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot thank my beta, JeSuisPrest, enough for her helpful feedback and helping me grow as a writer.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of domestic J/C since we rarely get to see that on the show. Prepare for the fluffiness! If you can't see the images in the chapter (they work on Chrome but not Safari) you can find them in a Twitter post (@Hazel498). Thanks for reading!

Waking up early, I quietly slip out of the bed with the goal of cooking a nice breakfast for Jamie. While brushing my teeth I contemplate the menu. On my way out of the bathroom, I glance at the clock, estimating I have 45 minutes before Jamie will rise. 

Setting to work in the kitchen, I place a pot of water on the stove and wash and peel a few potatoes. Once the water is boiling, I add the potatoes and set a timer for 20 minutes and then start the coffee maker.

Seeing no eggs in the refrigerator, I head outside, grabbing a lined wicker basket on my way out the door. Shivering, I wrap my sweater tightly around me to fight the coolness of the early morning. As I walk past the barn, I admire the lush green fields before me and the rising sun, a gorgeous mixture of yellow and orange on the horizon. 

Entering the chicken coop, I whisper, “Good morning,” and begin my search for eggs. A few curious hens dance around my feet but scurry away when I lean down to touch them. I gather ten eggs on my first pass and three more when I look more closely around the coop. Before I leave I thank the ladies for my bounty.

When I get back inside, I inspect each egg. They are a lovely, light brown color. Finding a small flashlight in a drawer, I hold the light up to each egg to check for imperfections and to see if any of them have been fertilized. I’m pretty sure I saw a rooster in the yard and Jamie’s chickens are free range. All of the eggs are ready to eat.

I cut up some cherry tomatoes and when the timer dings, I drain the potatoes. After using a potato ricer, I add butter, sea salt, and flour to make the dough for some traditional, Scottish tattie scones. I roll out the dough and use a fork to poke holes in each scone. 

Once the griddle is nice and hot, I cook the sausages first. When they’re done I crack a few eggs to fry in the grease, leaving room for the tomatoes and scones. Once I’m satisfied that the scones are cooked to perfection, I put the food on plates and pour two cups of coffee and some orange juice. My mouth is watering by this point.

I go to call Jamie and see him coming down the stairs. “Hey there sleepy head, ready for some breakfast?”

He grabs me around the middle and kisses me by my ear. “You’re up bright and early. Something smells really good.” He rubs his thumb on my face to remove some flour and kisses my nose.

I massage his back and lean in to kiss his neck, saying, “I cooked a big breakfast for you. Hope you’re hungry.”

He looks at me and growls, “I’m always hungry around ye Sassenach.”

I laugh and pull him to the table.

“Wow, ye went all out. Awww. Ye made me tattie scones? They’re my favorite.”

I smile, and say proudly, “I also finished one chore already. I got the eggs from the hen house. Don’t worry; I know about candling them to check on their quality. I learned that during my time in Egypt when we raised chickens.”

“This is impressive Sassenach. Everything looks great. Thank ye.”

I see a twinkle in Jamie’s eyes as he dives into his food. I take small, deliberate bites so I can watch Jamie eat. 

I finish before Jamie and sit and nurse my coffee and contemplate the day before us.

He finally sets down his fork and pats his belly. “That was delicious. But now I feel too full to feed the animals.”

He smiles at me and I grab his hand and give it a squeeze. “I can give you a hand today Jamie.”

“I’ll never say no to yer hand.” He kisses me and I giggle.

Jamie takes me to the barn and properly introduces me to everyone I could only hear on our last visit. It was amusing to see the antics of the barn’s hungry occupants in living color. I’m struck when I see Donas. What a beautiful creature. As I feed him his grain, I pat his head and thank him for the ride, which I can’t believe was only six days ago. So much has changed in that short amount of time.

We tend to the other horses, the goats, and the pigs before Jamie excitedly takes my hand. “Let’s go to the greenhouse Sassenach. I think this will become your favorite place on the farm.”

We walk down an open field and I see a large greenhouse in the distance. Excitement overcomes me and I start to run and Jamie chases after me. He grabs my hand as we walk inside.

I look in awe at the glass panels all around me. There are four long rows of garden beds. I walk around and see beetroots, broad beans, cucumbers, tomatoes, spinach, and turnips. I also see vegetables that are being sowed, including peas, fennel, French beans, leeks, lettuce and carrots. 

I go to the far end of the greenhouse and see all the herbs. Jamie comes up behind me and says, “What do ye think of our wee greenhouse?”

“Damn, Jamie. There’s nothing wee about it,” I exclaim. I start to point out various plants to him and tell him how they can be used in healing. “Chamomile makes a lovely tea but did you know it also relieves indigestion and colic? And for some it lessens anxiety and tension as well as skin inflammation.” 

“Hmmm, I only knew about the calming effects. Tell me more,” he says as he kisses the back of my neck.

“Rosemary helps with memory and concentration _and_ sweetens the breath.” He rubs my shoulders encouraging me to go on. “Parsley helps with flatulence and bad breath.”

“Are ye trying to tell me something Sassenach?” 

I giggle and turn around, giving him a kiss. “Mmmmm, you always taste and smell good to me.” 

I take a deep breath and pull off some lavender and present it to him, “Besides the well-known calming effect of lavender, it also can be used as an antiseptic for cuts.”

He smells it and them leans down and smells my neck. “I understand why this is yer favorite scent. It blends well with your natural smell.” 

He licks my neck and I giggle as his scruff tickles me. It feels so nice. I hold onto him and kiss his chin and say, “Jamie, please don’t shave for a while.” He rubs his cheek against mine and I moan as he gives me a lingering kiss.

Finally, I pull out some marigold and say, “This is good for sunburn and acne but it also soothes ulcers and digestive problems.”

“That’s very interesting. I can’t wait to learn more.”

As we walk out of the greenhouse I ask, “So, when does your family get home?”

“They should be back a week from today. They’re vacationing at a property we own on Skye.” He pulls me into his side and whispers, “I’d love to take you there.”

“That sounds lovely. I haven’t been to Skye in over a decade. What are your plans for the coming week?”

“Well, I need to get back to Inverness and finish packing and I want to go into the office to figure out what needs done before moving in. I want to go over there today so you can see the space. Is there something you need to do?”

“Nothing especially. We need to think about how the logistics will work. I have to buy a car and start driving again so I have a way to commute here from Inverness for work.” I have a huge smile on my face thinking about getting back to work.

Jamie stops walking and takes my hand, “Sassenach, I know it’s soon but I was hoping you’d consider moving in with me. That way you could walk to work and take more time getting back into the groove of driving and everything. Plus,” he steps closer as he wraps his arms around me. “I can’t imagine parting from you again after everything we’ve been through.”

My pulse starts to beat frantically. “Wow, Jamie. I feel the same about us being apart but I’m not sure I want us to start out our relationship living under the same roof as your sister.”

He laughs. “Sorry, lass. I agree with ye there. I forgot to tell you that I bought Mackenzie’s medical practice and his house since they’re located on the same property. Ye can see that today as well.”

I breathe a sigh of relief. “That’s interesting news. We need to talk more, but I’d love to see your new house.”

He leans into me and gives me a gentle kiss. “Wonderful. Why don’t we go clean up and I can take ye to the property?”

Jamie takes a shower while I clean up from breakfast. As I wash up the dishes my mind wanders to what it would be like to live with Jamie. _Can I really do this so fast?_ _It sure would be convenient to live so close to work and waking up to Jamie everyday would be a dream_. My fingers trace my lips as I remember his kisses. I giggle and think how Geillis would react. 

Jamie won’t tell me anything about the property except that it’s a few miles from Lallybroch. _Him and his surprises._ As we drive up, I see a number of structures. I’m surprised when Jamie tells me we have 9 acres and all of the structures are included. _He said “we.” OMG!_

__

Jamie says, “The farmhouse dates back to the Georgian/early Victorian era but has been totally refurbished in the past 10 years. Wait till ye see the inside, I think ye’ll love it.” His smile is infectious and I’m eager to see more.

We walk into the entrance hall. “Let’s look at the four main reception rooms first.”

“Wow, who needs four reception rooms?” I ask.

Jamie shrugs and explains, “It’s a classical design for a period house.”

We enter the bright drawing room that has beige carpet and taupe walls. It has a wood burner and traditional sash window which maximizes the light and spectacular views. I walk over to the window and admire the pastoral countryside, so beautiful even against the grey skies.

Jamie pulls my arm when I take too long at the window. He leads me into a study that has a stone fireplace and built-in bookcases. This one also has amazing views. 

Next on the tour is a second sitting room with wood burner and a dining room which in turn leads to the conservatory. As I walk into the conservatory, my breath leaves me as I take in all of the windows. The wood floors are beautiful with a worn finish. I wish it wasn’t an overcast day so I could see how the light would flood the room. 

Jamie says, “It’s a modern addition but it truly compliments the design since it makes the most of the views over the gardens, the paddocks and countryside beyond. I think this is my favorite room of all.” 

I nod and say, “I love the triple shade lighting above the table. What a great room to entertain guests with a fine meal.”

“Mmmmm. Drinking yer morning coffee out here would be a treat.”

I walk around the room to absorb the atmosphere of the space. “It would be nice to add some flowers outside the window to contrast against all that green space.”

As we continue, we walk beyond the conservatory to a paved fresco dining terrace. Then we get to a beautifully appointed and contemporary kitchen with another oversized window. “Wow, Jamie. This has an AGA cooker. I’ve always wanted one of those.” 

“I like that too because it brings some history to this modern kitchen.” I run my hand across the countertop of the island as I think about cooking in this space with Jamie. 

Jamie continues, “Over here is a walk-in pantry and separate utility room that leads to the courtyard.”

“Jamie, I feel like my mouth’s been open the entire walk-through. This place is stunning.”   
  
He beams with a wide-grinned smile. We climb the stairs to the first floor which has all of the bedrooms. There is a spacious master suite with en suite bathroom. The bathroom is spectacular with white tile floor, white marble backsplash around a two-headed shower, and a large soaker tub. I gasp, “We could have a lot of fun in here.” 

Jamie comes up behind me and grabs me around my stomach and turns me around this amazing space. He growls in my ear, “We definitely will.”

“Mackenzie said this was his wife’s favorite room. Sadly, she died shortly after they finished refurbishing the house. I think it was too painful for him to stay in the house without her.”

I look at Jamie’s eyes in the mirror and say, “What a shame to get a house exactly where you want it and not be able to enjoy it with the person you love most in the world.”

I see Jamie shake his head and grimace.

A further three bedrooms, bathroom and shower room are down the hall.

We step into the bedroom furthest from the master that’s been decorated for a child. Jamie explains Mackenzie’s grandson lived with him a few years ago and he never changed the room after he moved out. I immediately think of how Fergus would love the blue and green colors as well as the bunk bed over the desk. _This is the only room with any color in this house._

_I also think Jamie’s nephew would enjoy sleepovers in this room._ I ask, “When will Mackenzie pack up and move everything?”

“He’s already moved out. Except for a few personal pieces, he sold me the house with everything in it. He just moved last week to America to live with his daughter and grandson.”

“It’s good that you don’t have to furnish this large house.” 

From the landing, we take the stairs that rise to the second floor. Jamie says this would make a really nice home office. _I think of how lovely it would be to read up here, although those views would be quite distracting._

“Jamie, I love the exposed stone in this wall and the large structural beams in the ceiling.”

He takes my hand and leads me downstairs and outside to the garden. The lawned areas have been well-maintained and the lush greenery is awe inspiring. _I don’t see many flowers which seems surprising but then again the widower may not have been able to keep up with them_. 

Before we leave the garden, we head to the Elm tree to test out the swing. I sit down and Jamie pushes me. I laugh and enjoy the sun which has finally reappeared. 

Next we walk out past the gardens and turn left to view the stables. On the way we stop to admire the paddock and countryside. The paddock is bordered by a long wooden fence and green as far as the eye can see. Jamie explains the wooded area is included in the property and he wants to explore that in the days ahead. _I think any horse would be lucky to have that for a playground._

__

“Sassenach, can ye just imagine riding horses out there?”

I come up and hug him tight, “It’s so beautiful Jamie.” He turns and kisses me, pushing me towards the stables. A quaint barn made of stone greets us. 

We walk inside and it doesn’t even smell like a barn. I see four stalls that look brand new. I ask, “Jamie, did he ever keep horses here? It smells new.” Jamie explains they haven’t had any horses here for a few years.

“I’ll be bringing Donas here to ride and want to try you on a few of our mares to see who suites ye. Donas would be lonely by himself so I need to bring another horse to be his companion. He’s popular with the ladies so you’ll have a number to choose from.”

“You want to bring a horse for me?”

He laughs, “I’d be more than happy to have ye ride with me all the time, but I think ye would enjoy going solo once in a while.”

I’m too stunned to say anything more. 

We walk outside and around to the two-car garage and into the entranceway to the medical office. We enter into a small waiting room with eight chairs which opens to a reception office and a patient bathroom. We turn right and walk down a hallway that has three exam rooms on the left and a breakroom and large office on the right. At the end of the hallway is a staff bathroom. We stop inside the office to talk. 

“What do ye think, Sassenach?”

I’m overwhelmed by everything I’ve seen and a little nervous at the grandness of it all. “God, Jamie. This entire place is amazing. The house and grounds are immaculate. It’s quite large for a bachelor.”

“Well, the thing is. I bought this place hoping it would be a home for my family someday. I’m a long-term planner, Sassenach. Although, I’m hoping some of those plans will become short-term.”

He tries to wink at me but fails miserably since he uses both eyes. I giggle and he smiles at me knowingly.

I lean against the desk with folded arms and decide it’s best to get to the meat of my concerns. “Jamie, it’s so nice of you to offer a place for me in your practice but I don’t know about moving in together. We barely know each other.”

He frowns and wipes his hand across his mouth, looking dejected. I worry that I’ve offended him.

“Sassenach, I know to an ordinary couple this would seem quick but ye can’t deny there’s something special between us. We’ve both admitted to feeling that from the very start. Plus, we’ve already professed our love for each other. I don’t want to share my life with anyone else and I’d rather not waste any more of the precious time we have.” He walks over and puts his hand on my face as his thumb caresses my cheek. “An eternity with ye would no' be enough for me.”

My chin trembles as tears brim my eyes. As I wipe them away, Jamie grabs me around the waist and hugs me. “Christ, I’m sorry if this makes ye uncomfortable. I’ll wait if ye aren’t ready.”

“No. You make me so happy Jamie. I want to say ‘yes’ but I worry after you live with me you’ll decide you won’t want me anymore.”

He takes my face in his hands and I see the intensity in his eyes. “Sassenach, that’s never going to happen.” He kisses me gently.

I push back from him and begin to pace as I try to pull my thoughts together. In a small voice I say, “All couples think that at the beginning of a relationship. . . What if … What if you find another woman you want more?”

He turns away from me as he weighs my words. When he turns I see a flash of fire in his eyes. “I don’t think if I tell ye that wouldn’t happen that ye’d believe me. Do ye no' trust me?”

I step forward and embrace him and then look him square in the eyes. “I trust you Jamie but I’m gun shy. I came out of a bad relationship right before my accident. I dated this history professor named Frank who said all the right things in the beginning only to end up cheating on me with countless women. He had gone as far as asking me to marry him. Thank goodness I found out the truth before that happened.”

I stare down in shame. Jamie puts his fingers on my chin and pulls my eyes up to reach him. “I say Fuck Frank.” I giggle.

“He didn’t know a good thing when he had it. Him cheating on ye revealed his fatal flaw. There’s nothing wrong with ye, Sassenach. I can promise ye I’ll never stray. Ye’re the only woman I’ll ever need. The only woman I’ll ever want.”

I grasp Jamie behind the neck and kiss him deeply. When we come up for air I say, “I love you, James Fraser, and I would like nothing more than to move in with you on two conditions.”

He picks me up and swings me around and we both laugh. He puts me down and kisses me.

“You didn’t hear my conditions.”

“Doesn’t matter Sassenach, I’ll do anything to keep ye with me.”

“OK, but I want to make sure. First, I’ve told you before I want to adopt Fergus and that hasn’t changed. I may have a good chance to do that now.”

“I’ll support ye in that endeavor and I’ll be happy to have wee Fergus live with us when the time comes. We already have a great bedroom for him. I can also bring a horse over for him to learn to ride.”

I feel more tears as I say, “Thank you. I appreciate that more than you know Jamie.” I bring my hand to massage his ear. “Second, we need to discuss finances. I won’t do this unless you let me pay my fair share. I’m a woman of means, Jamie, which I can explain to you later.”

He moves his hand down to fondle my arse. “I’d say ye are.”

I pull on his ear and pull him in for a tender kiss. I hear him moan as break our connection. I soothe him by running my fingers over his lips.

Eagerly I say, “How do we make this all happen and how soon can we move in?”

“The sooner, the better Sassenach. We should go through and decide what stays and what goes as far as furniture. I have a few things I’ll bring from Lallybroch and you can bring whatever you want. We should also discuss our business plan. We need to develop some marketing to send out to Mackenzie’s patients to introduce us.”

After Jamie and I go through the house again we head back to Lallybroch to discuss the rest of our plans. We stop off and order take out from a nearby pub that Jamie says has the best burgers. 

We’re both starving by the time we get back and dive into our food. Between bites I ask, “Jamie, if you don’t mind me asking, how much did the house and medical practice cost you?”

“All in with closing costs it was around £1.8 million pounds. Jenny and Ian sold some land to buy part of my share of Lallybroch. That money allowed me to put down 50% on the property. I have a loan that covers the other half. I’ll still be getting a share of the Lallybroch revenues since I own 25%. Between that and my salary I shouldn’t have a problem paying off the loan in 20 years.”

“Wow, that seems pretty good for what you’re getting.”

Jamie smiles, wiping his moth with a napkin and says, “Aye, I think Mackenzie gave me a deal because we’re kin on my mother’s side. He was her cousin.”

“Jamie, I have money that I inherited from my parents and my uncle. It’s more than enough to pay off the loan so we can be true partners in the house and the medical practice.”

“Lass, I don’t want to take all yer savings.”

“You won’t.” I blush. “I would still be left with over a million pounds. I should also tell you that the money that I received from my accident went into a charitable trust worth more than my total inheritance. Over the past year, I’ve given half of it away to organizations that benefit the blind as well as women’s causes.”

Jamie dropped his burger. “Sassenach, that’s such a lovely thing to do. I don’t want to fight ye on the money because I know ye’re strong willed and I want us to be partners in everything.”

I’m relieved that Jamie is amendable to my wishes because I would never want someone to think I was a freeloader. I lean over and kiss him on the lips and go back to enjoying my burger with a smile.

“It’s incredible that between the two of us we can be debt free with a home this size. Now, we have a huge tax bill on this property but we’ll make more than enough to pay for that.”

“I guess we can thank our families that we have the ability to do this. I hope to do the same for my children someday.”

Jamie flashes a big smile at my statement and narrows his eyes in contemplation.

We finish our meal and get to work on some marketing ideas for our medical practice. 

“My sister does a lot on social media for Lallybroch since we host weddings and have a store where we sell our products. I think she’ll have some good ideas about how we can harness Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. Your skills as a naturopath are definitely unique and could pull a lot of people from the surrounding areas.”

“It would be great to get her ideas. We could definitely send out a postcard to Mackenzie’s patients and announce our opening and hours. When were you planning to open?”

“We need to open soon so we don’t lose existing patients. They have an urgent care they can use in a pinch but I had planned on opening next week. Fortunately, Mackenzie’s receptionist and nurse have agreed to stay on and he only stopped seeing patients a few days ago.”

“Sounds good. Maybe in the beginning you can make referrals to me. One of the main things I will focus on is the impact of nutrition on disease and I’m licensed in acupuncture and craniosacral therapy. Oh, we also need to figure out the office situation since there’s only one desk.”

He rubs his hand on his shoulder. “Acupuncture you say. Maybe ye can try that out on me. I have some frequent issues with this shoulder.”

I lean over and massage his right shoulder. “I’d love to. I have a some acupuncture needles and bunch of other stuff in storage that I need to go through. I haven’t opened any boxes since they were shipped over from England. I may need some moral support for that since my uncles things are among them. He does have some antiquities that I would love to put in the house.”

Jamie holds my hands and says, “I’ll be there for every box ye open.” 

I give him a kiss of gratitude. “Ok, let’s plan that for tomorrow if we have time.”

“We will. I’d really like to modernize that office if ye agree. I have set aside £25,000 to buy the things for the property and a chunk of that can go to the office.”

“I think we may need more so why don’t I match that amount and we can use it as our slush fund to do what we want with the house. Thankfully there’s nothing major that needs to be done.”

We go online and order two desks, wall-to-wall bookshelves and a credenza that will hold the existing printer.

I’m getting really excited making these plans with Jamie. _My mates will think I’m nuts doing this with a man I barely know but I don’t think I could be happier with anyone else on the planet._ Jamie catches me smiling at him and says, “What are ye thinking?”

I trace my fingers across his lips and say, “About how happy you make me.” He grabs and licks my fingers and I push him away and giggle. 

“Jamie, you mentioned you wanted to keep your bedroom furniture from Lallybroch which I love by the way. But, how about we go and buy a new mattress and bedding for it tomorrow?”

“Sounds good to me. We also need to buy laptops for the office so we can separate our personal lives from work. The whole reason I want to be a general practitioner is to maintain a good work-life balance.”

“We’re on the same page, darling.”

“He takes the keys from his pocket and jingles them in front of me. You want to practice driving?”

I lean away from him. “I’m a bit nervous since it’s been so long and I just go my sight back.”

Jamie rubs my shoulders, “Ye’ll do fine.”

I smile and kiss him. _I realize I’ve kissed him over a dozen times today and I’m so good with that._

We head out to practice on a deserted road. Jamie stops so we can switch places. We get buckled in and I move the seat closer to the steering wheel. “Ok, Sassenach. Just ease into it. What kind of driver were ye before?”

I put the car in drive and accelerate very quickly as Jamie’s eyes get big. “Geillis always said I had a lead foot.” I ease up when I notice him grabbing onto the door. He laughs nervously.

“Sorry Jamie, once I got going it all came back to me and I wasn’t afraid. I’ve always been a pretty careful driver. I just speed sometimes. Unintentionally. I do have a few tickets to my name. Well, maybe more than a few in England that is. I swear to turn over a new leaf here.” I smirk.

“Yes, that would be nice because I don’t want ye to get in anymore accidents. I think we’ve both had enough of those to last a lifetime.”

I shake my head and watch my speed as we head back to Lallybroch.

Jamie decides to cook out on the grill after we tend to the animals for the night. He grills some salmon and vegetables and I make a salad. We enjoy a lovely dinner under the stars on the back patio. 

We stay up late bingeing _The Crown._ I finally throw in the towel at midnight. Jamie pulls me off the couch and turns away from me and says, “Hop up. I’ll give my tired wee lass a piggyback ride to bed.”

Putting my arms around his neck, I jump up and wrap my legs around him and whisper, “I could get used to this.”

“Aye, I will always be at yer service Sassenach.” He turns out all the lights and races up the stairs as I giggle. He drops me on the bed and I laugh as he flops down beside me. I turn on my side to cuddle his chest, “What a day we’ve had. I feel like it’s the first day of the rest of our lives.”

He kisses the top of my head and pulls my chin up to look in his eyes, “To quote one of my favorites, I love you, and that’s the beginning and end of everything.”

I arch up and kiss him tenderly. “I love F. Scott Fitzgerald.” My fingers stroke the stubble on his jaw and say, “I fell in love with you the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.”

Jamie narrows his eyes, trying to place the quote. I finally say, “John Green, _The Fault in Our Stars_.”

His fingers push my hair behind my ear. “If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.”

I gasp, “Winnie the Pooh.” I move over so the top half of my body is over him. Leaning down I run my tongue against his bottom lip. When he opens his mouth I consume him. I finally pull back, taking his bottom lip between my teeth before slowly letting go. He groans. We reluctantly pull apart remembering the long day ahead of us tomorrow. 

After we scrub our faces and teeth we drop into bed. Jamie takes up residence behind me and I turn and give him one last kiss and say, “Whatever our souls are made of, yours and mine are the same.” I turn back around and he holds me tight as he kisses the back of my neck and says, “Emily Bronte, _Wuthering Heights_.” I hum my approval and think how lucky I am to have Jamie Fraser as my man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to JeSuisPrest for her editing. However, the last 1,500 words are mine since they were added on after her review so errors belong to me.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire meets Murtagh who is surprised by the recent turn of events. J/C spend an eventful day visiting some stores, seeing Fergus, and going through Claire's storage locker.

A cool breeze blows through my hair as I run laughing through an open field, my body chilled as the air goes right through the thin white dress I'm wearing. I hear Jamie laughing behind me. When I stop to catch my breath, he wraps his arms around me and lifts me off the ground, spinning me around in his arms, hypnotizing me with his blue eyes. He leans in and his lips briefly touch mine. I open my mouth and hear a loud beeping noise. I look to the sky but slowly wake from my peaceful dream to find I’m alone in bed and the damn alarm is going off. _Ugh!_ I sit up and stretch, yawning and grumbling as I struggle to meet the new day. _Damn I wanted that kiss_. 

Peeking out the window on my way to the bathroom I see Jamie talking with a man who I assume is an employee. I take a quick shower and dress in jeans and a pink thermal Henley top.

As I walk down the stairs I hear raised voices in the entryway. I take a few steps back so I don’t disturb Jamie and the person he’s arguing with. Hearing my name being thrown around I wonder who this person could be. 

The older man says, “Jamie, ye barely ken this woman and ye go and buy a house with her. Are ye crazy?”

“Listen Murtagh. Claire is it for me. I love her more than life itself. I'll no’ be parting from her ever again. I ken ye care about me but I’m a grown man and we’ll be talking no more about my decision. Claire deserves to be welcomed into our family. For Christ sakes, I would no’ be here breathing without her.”

I’m touched that Jamie’s defending me but anxious that someone in his family is already against our relationship. Taking a deep breath, I tentatively walk down the stairs with a forced smile on my face.

Jamie looks at me with some trepidation in his eyes. He kisses me on the cheek and says, “Claire, this is Murtagh a stubborn old fool who is also my godfather.”

Looking him straight in the eye, I stick out my hand. “Nice to meet you Murtagh. Jamie’s told me nothing about you.”

Jamie shakes his head and pushes on Murtagh’s hand to take mine. He grasps it a little too tightly but I grit my teeth and squeeze as hard as I can to show him my resolve. 

“Pleasure to meet ye Claire. Jamie _just_ told me all about ye.”

“Yes, I heard.” Jamie’s eyes go wide. “You should know, Murtagh, that I love Jamie with every fiber of my being and I’ll not be parting with him ever if I have anything to say about it.” 

Jamie wraps an arm around me as we both face Murtagh with huge grins on our faces.

Murtagh raises his eyebrows and says, “That’s very good to hear Claire.” He slaps Jamie on the back, “Ye’ve a feisty one there. Yer mother would approve.”

We all laugh and head into the kitchen, eagerly pouring myself some coffee. 

Murtagh leaves as soon as his thermos is filled. Once the door closes I glare at Jamie. 

“Sorry Sassenach. I didnae ken he was coming today and had not told him anything. He’s been in America visiting my Aunt Jocasta, who he’s sweet on.”

“Jamie, please tell me you’ve told Jenny and Ian. I don’t want to go through that again.”

He doesn’t look me in the eyes when he says, “No’ yet but I plan to tell her everything before they get back. She kens how I feel about ye since I told her everything when I got back from Boston.”

“So, she knows how much I hurt you then too. Ugh. Should I be scared to meet her?”

“No, ye can hold yer own against anyone. I promise ye I will tell her everything before ye have to lay eyes on her. I really think ye will get on well with Jenny, and Ian will love ye.”

I let out a sigh of relief as I take another sip of coffee.

Jamie offers me a blueberry muffin and I sit down to eat it, contemplating the Fraser family. _What have I gotten myself into?_

“So, after ye eat do ye want to head into Inverness? What should we do first, your storage locker or shopping?”

“Let’s shop first because I think that’ll be more fun.”

Jamie gives me a kiss on the head and sits down to read the paper while I finish breakfast. Before we leave, I call my accountant to talk with him about getting money out of my trust. He says it will take a week to liquidate some of my assets. 

We take one of the farm trucks, a Ford F-150, so we can bring back the mattress and everything in one trip. I sit next to Jamie on the drive and lean on his shoulder. 

I call Miss Simmons to see if we can see Fergus when he gets out of school. As we talk, I ask her about the process to be approved to be a foster parent. She gives me some details as well as the contact information for Fergus’ caseworker. I know from my research I’ll have to be a foster parent first before I can adopt him. 

When I get off the phone Jamie asks, “What did she say?”

“She told me to be patient because it could take up to six months to get approved by the local council. She doesn’t think I should worry because she knows other foster carers who are single.”

“Aye. I don’t think we’ll have issues being approved. I hope you ken I’m fully onboard and want to become his foster parent as well, if ye agree.”

My heart swoons at his willingness to do this with me. “Thank you Jamie. That means the world to me and Fergus deserves two loving parents. And if it takes six months that will give us time to work out our routine of the household and work. Since I’ve already had a background check, we can spend time with Fergus so he can get to know you better.”

Jamie’s hand plays in my hair as we drive the final miles to Inverness. He pulls in to park by Dreams Inverness, the bedding store. Inside, we’re immediately overwhelmed by all of the options. A salesman comes over and introduces himself. 

“Hello, I’m Daniel and here to help if ye have any questions.”

“Hi, I’m Jamie and this is Claire. We’re looking for a new King size mattress. I guess we can look around and let ye ken if we need help. We would like to take the mattress home today, if possible.”

“That’s fine. When you find one ye like I can make sure we have it in stock.”

We walk around and test out a number of beds. Daniel comes over and suggests we both lay down on each mattress so we get a sense of how it feels with our body weights on it.

On the next mattress, Jamie plops down and pulls me on top of him. 

I smack him on the chest. “Jamie, behave.” I roll off him to the other side of the mattress.

“He said to test it out with our weight and I think ye’ll be on top of me a lot.” I narrow my eyes at him and smile and shake my head, secretly agreeing.

Jamie bounces on the mattress. I turn to him and say, “What are you doing now?”

“I want to check out how good the motion isolation is.” He points to the sign by the bed. “I sometimes move around in my sleep and I don’t want to disturb ye.”

“That’s sweet of you. I like that it has three inches of memory foam.” I stretch my arms back behind my head and say, “This is really comfortable.”

Jamie turns towards me and asks me to turn on my side so he can spoon me. I decide to humor his. The scruff of his beard tickles my neck and I shiver as he whispers in my ear, “I think I could have a lot of fun with ye on a mattress like this.”

I pull his hand to my lips and give it a quick kiss. “Me too. Let’s buy it and look at the sheets and comforters before we go to the electronics store.”

We agree upon the bedding and I use my credit card to pay for our purchases. They load it up in the truck and Jamie straps it down securely. 

The next stop is PC World. On the ride over, we lament that there’s no Apple store in Inverness. 

“I’m so happy you’re a Mac guy,” I tease. “It would suck if you preferred a PC.”

“Ditto. Thankfully, Mackenzie was as well. The practice uses an Electronic Health Records software for Macs. I talked to the rep last week and we’re going to bring online a Patient Portal.”

“That’s wonderful. I can’t wait to learn the software. When can I meet the receptionist and nurse?”

“They’re going to come in Wednesday afternoon to discuss opening next week. I already have patients scheduled for three days.”

I smile, pleased to know existing clients were coming back. “I’m sure it helps that one of their own is taking over the practice.”

Jamie nods with a smile as we pull into the store. We don’t spend much time there, because we know we want the top of the line laptops for use at the office. I also treat myself and buy an Apple watch to replace my Braille one. 

When we’re finish with our errands, we park in Jamie’s garage and bring our electronic purchases into his flat. He makes a quick trip to pick up some sandwiches while I set up my watch.

We eat our lunch and discuss the logistics of our move. I ask in between bites, “Are you taking any of the furniture from here to the house?”

“No, I rented this place furnished so none of this is mine. I was so busy with my training that I rarely spent any time here. I just have to pack up my books, clothes, tv, free weights, and not much else. How about ye?”

“I have even less to move from my flat. Mainly clothes. I’m planning to donate my scanner, my watch, canes, and a few other things I bought to assist me. There’s an organization called Royal Blind that will take it off my hands and give it to someone who needs it.” I smile thinking how lucky I am to be able to see again.

Jamie takes my hand and gives it a squeeze along with a big grin. 

We finish eating and realize we have another hour before we meet Fergus so we pack Jamie’s clothes and books and carry them down to the truck. 

As we walk hand in hand down the sidewalk I take in the unfamiliar surroundings. I lived here for over a year and if I close my eyes I can easily make my way. However, in the light it’s totally foreign to me. 

I’m excited to spend time with Fergus again and for him to get to know Jamie better. We’re not going to say anything about wanting to adopt him, since we want to get approved to foster him first. 

We stop in front of his building and I call Miss Simmons to send him down. When I see his little head pop out the door I run up to him but stop halfway when I notice his appearance.

“Oh sweetheart, what happened to your eye?”

He runs into my arms, sets down the football he’s carrying, and holds on to me tightly. I gently tilt his head up to get a good look. “That Harris, he caught me at recess and pummeled me,” he growls.

“Did you tell the teacher?”

“No. That made it worse last time. I just said I fell down. It’s really nothing, milady.”

I kiss his face and give him a hug. “It’s something Fergus, and we should talk more about it. This bully shouldn’t get away with hurting you.”

Jamie walks around in front of us. “Hey Fergus, nice shiner, mate. How does the other guy look?” I glare at Jamie and he winces.

Fergus lowers his eyes and kicks the ground. “Ah, he looks better than me.” He looks up at Jamie and raises his hand above his head. “He’s a really big kid so I didn’t have a chance. Plus, he has two henchman who will catch you if you get away.” Fergus shakes his head.

“Well, maybe I can teach ye some moves to defend yerself.”

I frown at Jamie and he takes a step back. “Well, that’s if Sassenach thinks it’s wise.”

Fergus looks at Jamie and narrows his eyes, raising his voice, “Sassenach? Why do you insult milady? I thought you were her boyfriend.”

“It’s ok Fergus. That’s Jamie’s pet name for me.”

“Yea Fergus, I mean no offense to milady.” He pats Fergus on the shoulder and says, “I love her dearly.”

Fergus smiles, “Oooh, he loves you milady. When are you two getting married? Can I come to the wedding?” He snickers and Jamie laughs hard. I just stare at him and then say, “No one is getting married.”

Jamie whispers, “Yet” and moves away as I try to smack him on the bum. Fergus giggles and I take his hand as we walk to the park. Fergus and I sit on swings and have a competition to see who can go higher. Jamie comes around and pushes Fergus so he can win. 

I jump off the swing. “Jamie, please be careful or you might push him off. Poor lad already has a broken arm and a black eye.” Jamie stops pushing and Fergus drags his feet to slow down.

“That was a lot of fun. Jamie, wanna play football?”

“Aye. I was pretty good in my younger days.”

“What am I,” I ask, laughing, “Chopped liver? I’ll have you know; I was an excellent midfielder.”

Fergus laughs, “Oui milady. You can be on my team since Jamie outweighs us both.”

We kick the ball around for the next hour. Jamie cheats a bunch of times by picking me or Fergus up when we have the ball. We call a ton of fouls on him and declare ourselves the winner. 

Before we head back, we catch our breaths and sit on a bench. We tell Fergus about the new house and the medical practice. I mention that we’re hoping we can bring him out for a day to see everything soon. 

Jamie leaves to go back to his flat while I walk Fergus home. He’s very quiet on the walk back. As we approach his front door he grabs me around the waist and starts to cry.

I lean down to him. “What’s wrong sweetheart?”

He sobs, “I’m sad you’re moving away and I will not see you as much.”

I brush my hand through his hair to calm him. “Listen Fergus, I know I won’t be seeing you as much _for now_ but I plan to come into Inverness at least once a week to spend time with you and we can ask Miss Simmons if you can call me some nights before you go to bed. How does that sound?”

He sniffles and says, “That sounds good. You promise you’ll come back to see me?”

I kiss his temple. “I love you Fergus, and I promise I will always come to see you.” _God I wish we already had approval so I could take him now._

He smiles. “I love you too milady, so much. Can I call you tonight?”

I laugh. “Yes, but let’s talk with Miss Simmons, ok?”

He nods and we head inside. She was agreeable to our arrangement and with one last hug and a kiss I leave to pack some things at my flat. When I enter the house, Jasper comes running to greet me. Kneeling down I give him a hug. “You’re such a beautiful boy. It’s so nice to finally see you.” I laugh as he licks my face. 

Looking around the flat, I admire Geillis’ taste. It’s beyond lovely. I can’t wait to sit down and talk with her about everything. Heading into my bedroom, I pull out two suitcases and pack as many clothes and shoes that’ll fit. Grabbing my backpack, I load it with stuff from my bathroom. I text Geillis and tell her I’ve missed seeing her but will call her to set a time for us to meet. 

Pulling the suitcases behind me, I head out to wait for Jamie. He gets out and secures my luggage in the back of the truck and I tell him what happened with Fergus.

“Poor lad, it must be tough for him to be without ye. I’m going to talk with a mate I have on the local council. They’re the ones who will review our application to become foster parents.” 

I hug his arm. “Thanks, Jamie. I’d love to speed this up. If he moves in with us we can also get him away from that bully.”

“Aye, sorry I told him I would teach him to defend himself.”

“I know he needs to learn Jamie. I just worry it could make it worse.”

Jamie nods and we continue to my storage locker.

I open the lock on the rolling door and Jamie helps me lift it up. He turns on the light. “I was still in the hospital when everything was moved here.” Looking around I try to think of where to start. “We sold off all of the furniture from my uncle’s house so we’re mostly dealing with boxes.”

Jamie rubs my shoulders and says, “Lass, is there anything in particular ye want to look for?”

“I want to find some family photos. My uncle also had some things from digs that I want to keep. I may need a few days here to find everything.”

The moving company marked the boxes, so we look for photos but none include that label. I believe the photo albums could be mixed in with the books so we decide to open the boxes and go through each one. 

Jamie asks, “Are ye ok if I sit and open some boxes on my own or do ye just want me by your side as ye go through them?”

“It would be helpful if you could open boxes and show me any with photo albums or artifacts. My uncle also kept a journal since he was in his teens so I’m eager to fine those. I’ve never read them before. They have his name and the year printed on the binding. I need to find my homeopathy books and notes. There are a ton of books that we need to go through. I’ll keep some but donate most of them. You may be interested in the ones on archeology.”

“Aye, I would love to see the archaeology ones. I already have a fair number that will go on our bookshelves.”

He pulls a box down for me and then starts opening other boxes to look in them. 

The first one seems to contain the contents of my uncle’s desk. I open a small case and inside I see a Montblanc Masterpiece fountain pen from the 1950s. I put my hand to my mouth to hold in a sob. Jamie comes over after seeing my reaction. I hold the pen and tell him a story. 

“This was Lamb’s favorite pen. It had originally belonged to my grandfather, and he gave it to my uncle when he graduated from university.” I pause and wipe away a few stray tears; Jamie grasps my knee as we sit side by side. 

“When I first moved in with him I stole this pen from his desk. I fancied myself a great artist when I was five. I loved the way it felt writing on the paper and was infatuated with the lovely green color and engraved tip of the pen. I didn’t know the sentimental value it held for my uncle but I kept it hidden, knowing he would take it from me. Little did I know it was a collector’s item worth thousands of dollars.”

Jamie rubs my shoulders and gives me a warm smile, willing me to go on. “Lamb asked me repeatedly about the pen, and I never revealed I knew where it was, stuffed in a shoebox under my bed. In the end my deception was discovered, and he calmly explained to me what the pen meant to him. He said he understood that it also meant a lot to me and agreed to share it with me under his supervision. I just needed to ask to use it, and he would make it available for my artwork.”

I look to the ceiling to keep back more tears. “He knew how much I was hurting and refused to take something away from me that gave me pleasure. I didn’t understand at the time how important that was to my fragile psyche but somehow this bachelor knew what to do.”

Jamie laughs with me and said, “I imagine that bachelor was quite pleased to have a lassie to fill his days with joy. I’d say you both were lucky to have each other.”

“Yea, we were.” I reach back into the box to continue my search through time. Jamie resumes his hunt to track down my precious belongings. 

Finally, Jamie locates the box of my homeopathy books and notes. I come across a small chest that has a number of Egyptian artifacts that are wrapped in cloth. Jamie walks over to see my what I found. It includes several beetle scarabs. 

Jamie says, “These are beautiful. Like your necklace ye like to wear.” 

I hand him the largest one and say, “This one is made of jade and is over 3,500 years old. It’s the oldest one in his collection.” He holds it reverently and turns it over in his hand as he looks closely at the etching. 

“I’ve always been drawn to these beetles. Maybe because they’re a symbol of rebirth.” I pause as I think about what that means to me.

“I think I ken why. Ye’ve been reborn a number of times already. First when yer parents died, then after yer accident, and again after ye regained yer sight.”

I gasp, not because he’s wrong but because he understands coming back after an horrific loss and injury. 

I lean over and hug him. “You’re an amazing man, Jamie. I’m so fortunate to have you in my life.”

He kisses my temple and says, “I’m the fortunate one.” I hold him tightly as I let out a long deep breath. I reluctantly let him go so we can continue our task.

The other Egyptian artifacts include bronze and metal statues depicting gods and pharaohs, and a number of glass and stone vessels including ones that held perfume and makeup. As Jamie puts everything back in the chest he finds a pouch and hands it to me. I open it and find Egyptian coins that were from Cleopatra's time. 

“Sassenach, this stuff is amazing.” I smile, eager anticipating uncovering more of Lamb’s treasures. The emotions of touching things that meant so much to my uncle hits me hard and I let out a sound that’s a mixture of sadness and laughter. Jamie kneels next to me and asks, “Do you want to come back another time?”

“No, I’m ok. I want to look through some more boxes, but I will need to come back later and finish going through them all.”

Jamie moves away to open a wooden crate. He pulls a small wooden box out and hands it to me. Jamie leans in as I open the box and excitedly asks, “What is that?”

I whisper, “It’s been 15 years since I’ve seen this. It’s was Lamb’s favorite piece.” I take Jamie’s hand and pull him down to sit beside me as I open the box. “This is a bronze horse bit. It was found in Northern Italy and dates to approximately 700 BC. The Italian Government gave it to my uncle for the work he did on an archaeological dig in Pompeii. It was the summer I was a lifeguard.” 

I take it out of the box and turn it in my hands. “The bit itself is bronze but these two lengths here are made of copper-silver alloy, only 20% is silver. You see how both cheek pieces are in the form of a standing horse with geometric characteristics?” 

Jamie nods and I point out the different parts. “The crested mane here and the cylindrical snout with a flattened end, the bulging eyes, and high-pointed ears, all atop a pair of ringed feet with a winding tail.”

I hand the piece to Jamie which he handles carefully. “Look here Sassenach. Atop the hind quarters of the horses are smaller colts with nearly-identical characteristics to the larger animals.” His eyes are large as he stares at the piece. “This is breathtaking. Just look at the fine layers of green and brown patina.”

I nod and show him the spots of the original golden-brown bronze color that are still visible in certain areas.

Jamie continues to examine the piece and says, “Sassenach, we have to build a showcase for these treasures.”

I smile, “My uncle would like that Jamie. It would be a great way to honor his memory.”

We open one last chest that includes some Roman artifacts, including various finger rings, archers’ rings, amulets, and coins. Another package holds gambling dice made of bone and some unique door keys.

We pull everything together I want to take and Jamie packs it in the truck. I keep the horse bit next to me on the seat. 

The drive back to Lallybroch is quiet. My mind keeps going back to the last time I saw my uncle. Jamie senses my distress and asks, “Are ye doing ok?”

I wipe my nose on the sleeve of my sweater. “I’m just sad that the last images of my uncle were horrific.”

Jamie holds me close to him and gives me a quick kiss on my head. “Hopefully having some of his things around ye will remind ye of better times.” 

I smile and decide to steer the conversation to happier thoughts.

“We got a lot accomplished today. Do you think we could move into the house before your family gets home?”

I think Jamie understands my concerns, especially after what happened with Murtagh. “Absolutely. I can get the men to help me move my bedroom furniture there tomorrow, and we can get that set up. Then I think we need to sort the kitchen and we can move in.”

I sigh, “That’s wonderful. So, when will you talk with Jenny and update her on everything?”

“I plan to talk with her tonight. Dinna fash Sassenach. Once she sees us together she will ken we were meant to be.”

_I pray that’s true because I cannot imagine not getting along with someone so important to Jamie._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I'm grateful to my beta, JeSuisPrest. She suggested I save some of the antiquities we find in the storage locker to be discussed in future chapters. I went a little overboard since I'm a bit of a history buff & I love Egyptian/Roman antiquities. P.S. - Next chapter will be full of smut.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> J/C spend their first night in the new house. Lots of smut!

While Claire is in my bedroom talking with Fergus on the phone, I go out to the patio to call Jenny.

"Hey, Jenny, how's everything?"

“The kids are having a blast, bràthair. How is your recovery? I’m sure ye’re overdoing it.”

“Nah, I'm braw. I got some things done at the new house and looking forward to moving. I've also been spending time with Claire,” I say excitedly. “We’ve come a long way in the last week. She told me she loves me too.” I smile and rub my chin, eager to hear her response.

"Well, that's interesting to hear. What brought on Claire's confession?"

"It happened before our accident. We were on a date, and I brought her home to go riding and cook her dinner. She admitted she was afraid her being blind would be too much of a burden for me, but I set her straight."

“Hmm.”

Jamie knew that was code from Jenny that she was skeptical and wanted to hear more. “Jen, Da always told me he knew Ma was the one from the very beginning. I feel the same for Claire. She’s _it_ for me.” I take a deep breath, waiting for her response. When she gives none, I continue. “I asked her to join me at the medical practice, and she agreed.”

Jenny clears her throat. “So, you just give her a job out of the blue because ye think ye love her?”

I start to respond, but she cuts me off. “Do ye ken how good she is at her job? Do ye really want to date someone ye work with? Won't that be too much together time?” Her voice rises louder and louder with each question.

"First, it's not out of the blue. Ye ken I wanted to find a partner. Second, she went to a great university and knows her stuff. God, Jen, I could spend every waking minute with her, and it wouldn't be enough. She'll make a great partner." _In more ways than one._

“Och, Jamie. Yer lovesick now. Believe me, that changes over time. I know this firsthand."

"I ken a relationship changes over time, but ye can't say yer love for Ian has lessened. It’s just matured and gotten deeper. Am I wrong?”

“Nah, ye’re right there, but I kent him a good while before we became intimate.”

“Well, it’s different because ye grew up together. I wish I knew Claire since we were bairns. Regardless, I’m ready to settle down. Yer the one who kept telling me I had to find someone. You even tried to push me to date Laoghaire. Sheesh. Ye're not the one to ken a good match for me.”

“So, yer saying ye’re going to settle down with Claire?”

I pause for a bit of courage before my next revelation. “Aye, I've asked her to move in with me, and she agreed. Now, she has offered to pay off the rest of the loan on the property so we can be partners in everything. So, she’s not after me for my money before ye get to that rebuttal.”

“Color me surprised. It must be nice to have that kinda money lying around.”

She finally pushes me over my limit, and I yell, “She came by her money the same way we did. Through inheritance from her family. Remember, I told ye she has no living relatives.”

She responds in a softer voice. “Aye, ye did. Listen, Jamie. I'm not going to stand between anything that makes ye happy. I hope yer making the right decision. It does seem rushed, but I understand the events over the past few weeks have likely accelerated this decision. But . . ." _Here we go, I knew she couldn’t leave it at that._ “If she owns part of the house and medical practice it will be harder if ye decide to go yer separate ways down the road.”

“Och, the financial stakes of this decision, especially on Claire's part since she's joining me in my world, prove how deep her feelings are for me.”

“Ok, bràthair. I'm done with the third degree . . . for now. I'm looking forward to meeting Claire when we have lunch at Lallybroch. We should do it soon after we get back. I assume ye're planning to move by then.”

“Aye, we are. Jen, I think ye and Claire will get on well. Yer both strong-willed women who love to get yer way.” I tell her, rolling my eyes.

Jenny laughs. “So, I shall have a partner in bashing our wee menfolk when they do stupid things.”

Laughing, I tell her, “She’ll eagerly be by yer side for that. Tell Ian and the kids I miss them and look forward to seeing ye all next week.”

We say our goodbyes, and I go upstairs to update Claire.

When I walk into the bedroom, I find her sleeping with a book flat on her chest. The emotions of the day have finally caught up to her. Quietly approaching her, I gently remove the book, mark her page, and place it on the side table. I lean down and push some loose curls behind her ear and gently caress the lobe. She moans softly, and I tenderly kiss her lips.

Her eyes slowly open as she returns my kiss and scratches her fingers along the scruff on my jaw.

“Mmmm. What time is it?”

“It’s still early. Ye fell asleep reading.”

She wipes the sleep from her eyes and yawns. Grabbing my hand, she absentmindedly massages it as she asks, “How did the call go with Jenny?”

“It was good. Like Murtagh, she thinks this is all fast, but she's eager to meet ye. She also said she would do nothing to stand in the way of our happiness.”

Caressing her jaw, I kiss down her neck to her pulse point and whisper in her ear, “Ye make me so happy Sassenach.” I continue to kiss down to her shoulder. Kissing her skin, I ease the straps of her camisole down to reveal her perky breasts. Sliding down further, I catch her nipple between my lips and suckle. She gasps as she twines her hands in my hair, pushing me closer.

I continue my quest to her other breast. She writhes against me as I nip her with my teeth and soothe her with my tongue. I spend more time on this side until she's panting. "Oh, Jamie. Mmmm.”

She sits up and pulls on my shirt. I lift it off, and I remove her camisole and push her back on the bed. I kiss down her stomach, stop to lick inside her belly button as I nip, and pull her taut skin. She whimpers as I work my way down. Admiring her pretty mint green boy shorts, I slowly grab the satin hem and pull them off and bend my head down to taste her. "Later, Jamie; I want you inside me.”

Stepping back, I slowly undress as she licks her lips and shoots me a smokey glare. She reaches to touch me, and I grab her hand, sucking on her fingers. I slide up her body and brush my nose against hers as I stare into her gorgeous whiskey eyes. My tongue traces her lips to ask for entry as my body presses against her, my length meeting her core. She looks at me with hooded eyes and whimpers. “Watching you come is one of my favorite pastimes,” I tell her, my voice hoarse with desire.

“Mmmmm, then make me come," she responds and pulls me in for a sensual kiss, tongue, and teeth. I rub my length against her slowly, teasing each moan from her. I slide against her clit, and her juices spread slick between us. When I ease myself inside, a groan escapes my lips as her walls stretch tight, drawing me further into her body. Her knees flex wider so she can feel every inch as I sink deeper. 

Gently, I start moving, her nipples sliding across my chest. I increase my rhythm and groan, seeing her breasts bounce with each thrust. Her head arches back in pleasure as she bites her lip. I lick and nip her neck as our hips slap together. 

The next thrust has us both on edge, and I feel her contract around me. I pound into her, and she rakes her nails down my chest to caress my length as it pistons into her wet core. “Ah Sassenach,” I moan. Dragging her wet fingers up, she circles her swollen nub. 

She lets out a plaintive whine, and I see the ache in her eyes. "Please, Jamie, make me come." I lean back and pull up her pelvis to change the angle. Her legs tighten around me with a long groan. I speed up my thrusts and kiss her neck. “A Dhia. Will the wanting of ye ever stop?”

Her throaty laugh turns into a whimper as she begins to unravel. “Jamie, fuck me.” I raise her hands above her head and whisper in her ear, “I love yer filthy mouth Sassenach.” I take her mouth in a rough kiss. We part quickly, breathless. I thrust hard and cry out her name as I spill inside her. I continue to pump and bring my hand down to rub circles around her sweet bundle of nerves. She opens her mouth in a silent scream and comes hard against me. 

I crash into her as I try to catch my breath. We lie connected as the last remnants of our climaxes slowly fade. I go to push off her, and she grabs hold of me. “Don't move, Jamie. I want to feel you like this forever.” I whisper in her ear, “Me too, mo chridhe.”

She rubs my back as our breathing normalizes. Reluctantly we part as our bodies grow too warm. I flop down, and our fingers wrap together as we both stare at the ceiling. She turns on her side and rubs the sweat on my chest. Pulling the covers over us, I cuddle her into my side.

________________

The following day, Jamie and his mates move his bedroom furniture from Lallybroch to the new house. I wave goodbye to them as I step into an Uber that will take me to Inverness to meet Geillis for lunch and some shopping. 

Walking into the café, I immediately spot Geillis. She grabs me into a tight hug as I approach her table. 

"Ye're beaming, so I can just imagine how well that itch of yours was scratched, lass.”

I laugh and smack her on the arm. “It’s been incredible, and I have big news to share.”

Geillis leans in, eager to hear my news. “Jamie has invited me to join his practice.”

“Hen, that’s amazing news. When will ye start?”

“The office will open next week. Jamie will start seeing patients right away, and we’ll do a marketing campaign, so people know the services we offer. He will, of course, refer patients to me that he thinks I could help. I’m so excited to start working.”

Geillis holds my hands, “I'm excited, fer ye.”

“There's more, and this is even bigger news.”

She covers her mouth and whispers, “Did the big ginger ask ye to marry him?”

My eyes get big, and I push her shoulder. "Gawd, no. But he did ask me to move into his new house. It's beautiful Geil. Listen, I promise to continue paying my share of our rent until you can find a roommate."

Geillis mouth is wide open. “I was only kidding about the proposal, but I’m surprised yer moving in. Good fer ye. I ken yer good for the rent. I was planning on moving out when ye got yer own place. Dougal has talked with me about moving in with him, and I'm inclined to do so.” 

"Thanks, Geil. Moving in with Jamie is a huge step, and I know it’s fast. I told Jamie about Frank cheating on me.” 

Geillis frowns at his name. “Oh, Geil. I do trust him and don’t think he would ever hurt me.”

“Considering what that man’s already done for ye, I should think not. I’m so happy for the both of ye. Do ye have any pics on yer phone of yer new house?”

I pull up my phone and scroll through some pictures. “Wow, Claire,” Geillis says, swiping through my phone. “That’s a fine house. Lots of bedrooms to fill with yer future children.”

I’m unaffected by her comment because I feel the same way. “Well, Jamie knows I want to adopt Fergus, and he's on board. They bonded yesterday during a football game; he’s great with kids.”

Geillis grins and listens to the news. Our food comes, and we have a pleasant meal catching up. I tell her we plan to have a housewarming party after we’re settled.

Geillis changes the subject at the end of our meal. "Hen, I booked an appointment at the salon. I think ye deserve some pampering."

I smile, “Seriously, I would love that; what services did you book?”

Geillis just smirks, “Come on, and ye'll see.”

_____________________

We walk out of the salon giggling. “God, Geil. I can’t believe you talked me into doing that. It’s so fuckin painful.”

Geillis smacks me on the back. “Yer big ginger will be thanking ye.”

I shake my head, but secretly I’m excited for Jamie to see. 

We stop by the flat so I can pack the rest of my stuff. It doesn't take long since most of it was in storage. We hit up a store on the way home, and I buy some pots and pans we need for the kitchen. 

I tell Geillis that I'm using my inheritance to pay off the loan. She just warns me about getting my name on the deed, and I tell her Jamie already said that would happen. Teasingly she says, “Ye both are practically married with this arrangement, don't ye think?”

I narrowed my eyes and glared at her, which sets her off into giggles. Before long, I'm laughing too.

As we drive up to the house, Geillis blurts out, “I thought it looked great in your pics, but they don't do it, justice.” 

Jamie comes out to meet us. He says hello to Geillis and greets me with a kiss. “I love what ye’ve done with yer hair.”

Geillis knowingly laughs. “Thanks, love. I just had them cut a few inches.”

He growls in my ear, “Ye look good enough to eat.” I push him away to calm down both of our libidos.

He goes over and hugs Geillis. He thanks her for helping to bring us together. I catch her giving him a wink.

I take her through all of the rooms and intensely listen as she offers her advice on decorating. Before she heads out, I show her the office. She says she can’t wait to hear my patient stories. Geillis is happy at the apothecary, but she has always wondered if she would do better in practice. I think maybe my experiences will help her decide. 

After Geillis leaves, I find Jamie in the kitchen, washing the pots and pans. I come up behind him and kiss him behind his ear. He leans back and kisses my temple. “Claire, I think it would make sense if we set up a joint checking account that we can use to pay for house expenses. What do ye think?”

“Sure. My money should be in my account tomorrow. We can call the bank where you have your loan and get the payoff amount. Then we can set up our joint account.”

“Very good. I plan to direct deposit half my paycheck into our joint account.”

I kiss him. “I'll do the same.”

The rest of the day, we spend grocery shopping and setting up the kitchen. As we finally sit down to dinner, we talk about how exciting it is to spend our first night in our new house. 

I see Jamie continuously flexing his right shoulder. 

“Jamie, is your shoulder bothering you still?”

"Aye, probably should have let the lads do the heavy lifting."

“I can take a look at your shoulder when we finish. There are some acupuncture needles in one of the boxes we brought from storage, and I can do some deep tissue massage.” I take another bite and chew thoughtfully. “I also have a turmeric oil mouth spray that has helped me with back pain. You should try it, but you need to use it every day for it to have an impact.”

“I’ll try anything. I’ve dislocated this shoulder twice. Once falling off my horse and another playing rugby.”

We finish eating, and Jamie undresses down to his briefs at my request and puts a blanket on top of the comforter to protect it. He lies down on his stomach, and I say, "I'll begin with the massage first, and once your muscles are nice and relaxed, we’ll do the acupuncture.”

“Aw Sassenach, I was hoping it would be a happy ending.”

I smack his bum and say, “You got that last night.” 

“Mmmm. I sure did.” I laugh and put the eucalyptus oil in a warmer and begin massaging his shoulder. “Let me know if you want more or less pressure.” I kiss the back of his neck because it’s irresistible. 

“Harder is always good.”

I put more force behind my hands, kneading the muscles around the shoulder joint down to the shoulder blade. The red light goes on the warmer, indicating it's ready. I pour some oil on Jamie's back, and he shivers.

Rubbing the oil into his back, I massage his sore muscles, manipulating the knots, working out the kinks. “Love, do your scars give you any trouble?”

“No’ much. Sometimes I feel a tightness in my skin.” 

I massage his back, and he groans when I hit some of his trouble spots. So, I use my elbows to deepen the massage.

“Ahhhh, Sassenach. Yer fingers and elbows are magic.”

I decide to massage down his arms to his hands. I just love to hold them and figure he should get the full benefit of the massage. 

"How do you feel about a fuller body massage since I'm here. You seem pretty tense in several areas."

“I would no’ say no to anything that involves my body and ye.”

I decide to make this fun for him and maybe tease him a little too. I put some oil on his feet and massage his toes, taking advantage of his ticklishness.. I work up his muscular calves and thighs, earning a massive groan as I get close to his arousal. I decide to go all-in and pull down his briefs to reveal his muscular arse. He lifts and allows me to remove them.

I massage his cheeks and end by using my elbows on his hard glutes. He growls. I turn my attention back to his shoulders and neck and then spend more time on the scars on his back before finishing. I take a towel and wipe him down to remove the excess oil. I go and wash my hands. 

"Turn around, and please sit up with your legs on the floor." He carefully turns and reveals his enormous erection, which I was expecting. I smile slyly and cover him with a towel, so I'm not distracted. He groans loudly as it touches him. 

I'm not unaffected as I feel the wetness between my legs. I see Jamie lick his lips as he stares at me.

Before I begin, I explain the process to him, "I'm going to use motion style acupuncture therapy. It's similar to traditional acupuncture with needles placed at specific meridian points, but it also requires passive or active movement of your body while the acupuncture needles are in place. Try and relax your right shoulder." 

“Wait, yer going to stick that big needle in me? How far?”

I put my hand on his shoulder. "It just goes under the skin. It won't hurt that much. I had treatments twice a week when I was recovering from my accident, and it was a godsend. The needles will force your connective tissue around the pin to contract, stimulating blood flow, and releasing endorphins. It may also trigger the production of dopamine, which is why some patients feel high after acupuncture therapy."

"Ok, I trust ye, and that last part sounds good."

I laugh and continue with my explanation. "When I place this first needle, I want you to tell me when you can feel a sensation radiating through your lower arm.” Slowly, I place a disposable needle just below the skin about one finger width lateral from the front of his tibia and gently rotate it.

“Woah, I can feel that in my lower arm now. Crazy that putting a needle in my leg would cause that.” 

"It's a miracle of Chinese medicine. Now, can you move that arm up and down slowly and then hold it straight out to your side."

Jamie does the movements and asks, “When did ye first become interested in acupuncture?”

“It began on a visit to China with Lamb. I went back to China during a summer break from school to study at Chengdu University.”

I lower his arm and place a few more needles in various places around his body, including face, ears, neck, spine, upper legs, arms, and ankles.

"Sassenach, I feel like a pincushion,” he laughs but catches himself when it causes sensations in his face.

I smile, “For the next 20 minutes, I’m going to rotate that one needle in your leg and ask you to move your arm. I’ll do this every five minutes. You can try and relax in the meantime.” I turn on some classical music and go into the bathroom to wash my hands. 

Once the 20 minutes are over, I remove the needles. "How do you feel?"

“Oddly peaceful and a little spacey.” He moves the muscles in his shoulder. “My shoulder feels fantastic.”

"Wonderful. I suggest we do that once a week, and I bet your shoulder pain will decrease over time. I also think you may favor that shoulder and don’t get enough range of motion in it.”

He pulls me into his lap. “Thank ye kindly for fixing me up. Now ye did leave me with another problem.”

I kiss him and giggle as he tickles me. He asks, "How about we push this bed's isolation control to the test how good it is?”

“Mmmm. I like the sound of that, but I'm craving some ice cream."

He lays back in the bed, closing his eyes and covering his head with his arm, “Ok, ye go get yer wee treat, and I'll shower."

He looks so sad on the bed that I pounce on him, and he grunts and wraps his arms around me. "Sassenach, yer such a feckin tease.”

I grab his length, and he groans. "Doesn't look like I'm teasing now, does it, big boy?”

He flips us over and grinds against me while he holds my arms down. He takes my mouth with him, and we fight for dominance. I push back for air and say, "You really should shower. That eucalyptus oil will burn if it gets on certain body parts."

He pulls me up and leads me through the French doors into the bathroom. I stop him and say, “I thought we were going to test out the bed?”

“Oh, we will later. For now, we’ll test out the shower." He steps into the large shower that stands behind the giant tub. I look around the bathroom and smile as I think of all the things we need to test. Through the shower, I can only see Jamie's top half as he lathers soap all over his chest. A half-wall blocks his lower body. 

Our eyes stay connected as I slowly undress. Jamie’s eyes go wide as he looks between my legs, seeing my bare skin for the first time. I step into the tub and put my fingers in my mouth and suck on them. Jamie’s hand slides lower until it disappears from my view. Moaning loudly, I move my fingers down to tease and pull on my nipples. His shoulder is moving, and he closes his eyes and arches his neck. I imagine he’s stroking his length and smile.

Once he catches my gaze again, I move my hand to run my fingers through my wet folds. Stepping one foot onto the tub's lip, I open myself to him, and he groans. I massage my clit and whimper as I push two of my fingers into my entrance. “Ahhhh, Jamie," I tease. He walks out of the shower with his hard length bobbing against his stomach. He looks like an animal stalking his prey. When he stands in front of me, I trace the flow of water running down his chest, and he rubs his thumbs over my nipples. As he massages my nipple, his other hand slides down to my wet core. 

I groan and kiss him hungrily. He bites and pulls on my bottom lip before leaning back to watch his hand. “Sassenach, yer honeypot is magnificent," he growls. Stepping closer, he pulls my leg from the tub to curve around his hip. I grab onto his shoulders to steady myself. His length is rubbing my nerves, and I moan into his mouth as he teases my nipple with his fingers. He breaks the kiss, teeth scraping my chin as he trails kisses down my neck. Wrapping his arm around my lower back, he pulls me out of the tub, and my other leg goes around his waist as he turns and walks us into the shower.

I'm sliding against his stomach, trying to get friction where I desperately need it. Suddenly, my back hits the wall and arches away from the cold tiles. Jamie positions himself and lowers me onto his length, and I scream out his name as the pleasure ripples through me. He bites into my shoulder but quickly soothes the mark with his tongue. He grips my arse with both hands and recaptures my mouth. He kisses up my neck and whispers, "Sassenach, ye’re the sexiest woman to ever walk the earth.” He pumps his hips into me slowly.

I groan as I move up and down on him. Writhing against him as my fingers move through his wet curls and he sucks on my nipples. “Jamie, your shoulder,” I warn. He lowers one of my legs to the floor. I try to move my leg that’s around his hip. “Jamie, help me straighten my leg.” 

He grabs my ankle and pushes my leg straight up in front of him. I scream at the stretch and how deep he’s hitting me. Feeling every ridge of his length, I whimper and arch my head back as he slides in and out. He licks my neck and rubs his stubble against my cheek. 

Jamie groans, and I know he's close. I whisper in his ear, "Harder, Jamie." He speeds up, and I tip my pelvis closer, so he rubs my clit. I close my eyes at the intense pleasure. Jamie turns my head and kisses me, tenderly, "Sassenach, watch me as I take ye." Holding my ankle, he takes a small step back as I look down and see him pistoning in and out of me. I groan and look him in the eyes and put my hands on his face as we share our breaths. I feel like time is standing still. 

"Sassenach, I'm gonna…”

I loudly moan as he drives himself hard inside me, sending me reeling. My nails dig into his shoulders as I spasm around him, calling his name as I push back against him, pleasure overtaking me. I clench tightly around him, and he spills inside me with a guttural roar as his back bows with the force of his climax.

Breathing rapidly, I kiss his temple and massage the back of his neck and shoulder as I try to slow down my heart. He moves back and helps bring my leg down. I wince, and he rubs circles around my hip and thigh. He rests his forehead on mine as we catch our breaths.

“Jamie, that wasn’t good for your shoulder.”

He touches his nose to mine and smiles. “Whatever aches and pains I suffer tomorrow are totally worth it. Plus, I can always ask my lass for another massage.”

I giggle and push him under the water. We both make quick work of cleaning up. I stay in the bathroom to blow dry my hair. By the time I make it to bed, Jamie is asleep. I kiss his smiling lips and quickly join him in slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who has left me comments. It's much appreciated and keeps me writing. I think interest is dwindling for this fic, so I may only publish a few more chapters. Many thanks to my beta, JeSuisPrest. You should check out her stories. She's a phenomenal writer.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our couple settles in their new home, Claire finally meets Jenny, and they begin seeing patients.

The next day is a busy one as we go room to room cleaning and arranging the furniture the way we want. We find some space in the study for some of my uncle’s Egyptian and Roman artifacts. I unpack my old books and set aside the ones I want to put in Fergus’ room. Jamie has a whole shelf full of archaeology books that include a number from Lamb. He shows me the copy of the book, _The Wonders of Archaeology_ he got signed by my uncle when he heard him speak in Athens. 

I run my fingers over the signature and laugh. Jamie’s surprised by my reaction since he probably was expecting tears. “What’s so funny Sassenach?”

“I just realized that I was at the lecture he gave in Athens, so you and I were in the same room. I may have even been standing next to him when you got his autograph.”

Jamie looks at me. “No, ye weren’t there. At least not where I could see ye.”

“Come on, Jamie, that was ten years ago. How could you even remember if you did see me?”

He adamantly says, “I could never forget ye Sassenach.”

I grab the photo album off the shelf and look through the pages, searching for the correct year. I bring it over to Jamie and show him a picture of me, looking quite different from how I look today. Jamie looks at the photo and shakes his head. I set down the album and smirk at his stubbornness. 

He strokes my face with his fingers. “Ye ken, soulmates can’t meet without feeling an immediate connection.” He leans in and kisses my lips. After we pull apart, I say, “Maybe the soulmate connection only works if you touch the other person as we did in Mr. Raymond’s office.”

He wraps his arms around me and runs his hands over my arse. “Ye feel that connection now, don’t ye?” 

I dreamily answer, “Aye.” I open my mouth to give him another kiss when the doorbell rings.

“Sorry, Sassenach. That’s the satellite guy.” He runs, leaving me all worked up. 

Jamie works with the technician to set up the TV in the family room and our bedroom. I finish up in the study and tackle the closets in the master bedroom. Once the technician leaves, Jamie goes to help his men clear out the medical office furniture. The new office furniture would arrive the following day.

Before dinner, I talked with Fergus’ caseworker about the paperwork needed to apply to be foster parents. The next step after that is a home visit, and there will be some classes we have to take.

We decide to eat dinner while we watch a movie. We both love the classics, especially Cary Grant, so we pick _North by Northwest._ When the movie ends, I tell share some trivia. “The train scene, where Eva Marie Saint’s character says, ‘I never discuss love on an empty stomach,’ was dubbed. She actually said, ‘I never _make_ love on an empty stomach,’ but that was censored.” 

He pulls me closer and kisses behind my ear and says in a husky voice, “My stomach is verra full.” 

“Mmmm. Mine too, and I’m exhausted. How about we go to bed?”

“Aye.” He tosses me over his shoulder, and I scream, “Jamie put me down.” I giggle as he carries me up the stairs and throws me on the bed. He leans down and gives me a passionate kiss. I push him back, “Thanks for the ride, darling. Let’s get ready for bed.”

“To bed or to sleep?”

I stand up and walk into the bathroom, “Sleep, Jamie. We need our sleep.” My breasts were tender, and my period would be appearing at any moment.

He follows me into the bathroom with a big pout on his face. Shaking my head, I decide to do something to help him sleep. Without hesitation, my hands go to his waistband, and I slowly unzip and pull down his jeans. 

In a low voice, I say, “I am tired, Jamie. This will be just for you, so I’ll not need any reciprocating.”

Cradling his balls in my palm, I knead them gently as I kiss and lick my way down his stomach, letting out little moans as I go. Jamie’s fingers wrap themselves in my hair, and he pulls me close as he groans _._  
  
Stopping to look up at him, I whisper, “I can’t wait to taste you.” He whimpers and pulls my hair away from my face. I move slowly, sliding down to let my cheek rest against his erection. 

“Do you want my mouth on you?” I say, looking deeply into his eyes. He closes his eyes and nods.   
  
Wrapping my fingers around his length, I slide my lips along him. My tongue moves slowly under the ridge and around his tip in a figure eight. “Ahhh, Sassenach,” he moans.  
  
I take him all the way in my mouth and then pull away slowly with a twist and then back again. Jamie’s hand strokes my back and shoulders, and I shiver at his touch.  
  
Running the outside of my teeth up and down the underside of him, I moan in my throat to let him know I’m enjoying myself. My hands tickle the soft skin of his thighs and reach around to run my nails over his arse. He growls and pulls on my hair.

As I suck and glide, I feel him straining to hold back. “Let go, Jamie,” I say as I speed up my hand, twisting and sliding up and down. Sucking and swirling my tongue around his tip, he groans loudly and releases in my mouth. I take it all in and look up to see him biting his bottom lip. Standing, I wipe my mouth, and Jamie pulls me into a deep kiss. 

“God, Sassenach. I thought my heart was going to stop.”

I smile. “Good. Now you know how I feel. You ready for some sleep now, Jamie?”

“Aye, lass. I’ll sleep well tonight.”

_____________

The rest of the week passes quickly. On Saturday, we are preparing to go to Lallybroch for lunch. I’m nervous about meeting Jenny but excited to see his niece and nephew.

Jamie takes my hand as I step out of the car. He gives it an encouraging squeeze as we approach the door. Before we reach the porch, A little boy, who must be Wee Jamie, comes flying out the front door. Jamie picks him up and swings him around in his arms. “Hi, uncle! Da said ye were bringing an auntie around to play with us. Did ye get married while we was away?”

Jamie puts him down and ruffles his hair. “This is Claire; she’s my lass,” Jamie introduces me.

The little boy arches his neck and looks up at me, holding a hand out for me to shake. “Nice to meet you,” I say, taking his small hand in mine. “Your uncle has told me all about you.”

He smiles a toothy grin and pulls my hand, “Come on, let’s go play.”

I step into the house under the power of a very strong five-year-old. Jamie closes the door and greets a brown-haired man carrying a toddler, who I assume is Ian. “Jamie, good to see ye.” He pats Jamie on the back with his free hand and hands over the little girl. Jamie kisses Maggie, and she giggles.

Holding out his hand to me, he says, “Ye must be Claire. A pleasure to meet ye lass.”

I smile and shake his hand. “Thank you. I’ve been looking forward to meeting the man that Jamie has told me all about.”

He rubs his face. “Now, don’t believe half of what he says.”

Jamie comes over and introduces Maggie. I smile and say, “Very nice to meet you, sweet girl.” I stroke her cheek, and she leans into the crook of Jamie’s neck. 

Jamie says, “She’s a bit shy at first, but she’ll warm up real fast.”

Wee Jamie comes around, pulling me toward the sofa to show me his airplane. “This here is a spitfire, auntie. We saw a real one at the museum.” He flies the plane around me while making gunfire noises. I laugh and tickle him. He giggles and runs towards his uncle. I try to calm my nerves as I take in the family. _Jamie is so good with the kids_.

From the kitchen, I hear, “Ye best get in here before the food gets cold. I’ve been slaving all morning for ye people.”

A chill goes up my spine, and Jamie pulls me from the couch. He gently puts his arm around my shoulder and pushes me into the dining room. The table is so full of food. I can’t even see the surface. Jamie had warned me that this would be more like a traditional holiday meal since Jenny goes all out with cooking when she has guests.

Jenny came into the dining room, wiping her hands as she removes an apron. She hugs Jamie and stares at me with her dark eyes. I feel like she’s drilling a hole straight through me. Holding out my hand, I grit my teeth as I say, “Jenny, it’s so lovely to finally meet you. I can’t wait to hear all about growing up with Jamie.”

She looks me up and down and smirks as she shakes my hand. “Well, that will take a while, but I’ll be sure to start with the most embarrassing ones first.” Jamie groans, and we all sit at the table.

Jenny and I talk about gardening; I mention how I like to use natural medicinal remedies. She wipes her mouth with her napkin and says, “Aye. I prefer natural whenever possible. I ken we have an old book in the library about herbal remedies. Ye’re welcome to it.”

I smile. “I’d love to read it and would enjoy helping you in the greenhouse whenever you need it. I thought maybe you could sell some natural remedies in your store. I’ll be prescribing them to my patients and would like to have a place I can trust to provide them.”

“Hmmm. That sounds interesting. We should talk more. Jamie also asked me about my ideas for using social media to find new patients. I think we could advertise to people within the areas surrounding the practice and highlight ye as a homeopath. We could target ads to people who have liked natural products in the past. We could even do some advertising on Google to target people who search for natural remedies online.”

I nod, impressed with her ideas. “You really know your stuff. I think we’ll follow your lead.” We continue to talk about the greenhouse and the product ideas for the store. By the end of the meal, Maggie is sitting in my lap fast asleep. While the men are clearing up the dishes, I followed Jenny to the nursery to put Maggie down for her nap.

After closing the door, Jenny says, “Claire, I figure my brother told ye about my initial reservations. I ken ye know I just want him to be happy.”

I nod as she continues, “Please be mindful of his heart. Sometimes he’s too sweet for his own good.”

I take her hand. “I promise I’ll be careful. Jamie’s the most precious thing in my life, and I won’t ever take him for granted again.”

_She smiles or was it a grimace? Oh, God, Jenny. Please like me._

We find the men doing the dishes, so Jenny and I walk to the greenhouse. Wee Jamie runs off some excess energy around us, and we continue to talk about plants.

Before we leave for the evening, Jenny has packed up some leftovers and given me the herbal remedy book. I hug her before leaving and tell her I will be in touch to talk more about our gardening ideas.

On the ride home, Jamie says, “See ye were worried about nothing. I’ve never seen Jenny take so quickly to anyone in my life.”

“You think she really likes me?”

“Aye. Ye found yer common ground with gardening. Dinna fash, Sassenach. I ken Jenny well, and she liked ye.”

I let out a sigh of relief.

________________

We met with our receptionist and nurse the following week. We sit down together in the breakroom. I learn that nurse, Fiona, is married to Jamie’s mate, Angus, and Mrs. Graham, the receptionist, grew up with Jamie’s father. 

I explain to them what I plan to do in the practice. “I expect that most of my patients will have chronic problems that have not been managed well by prescription medication. This could also include people who have been misdiagnosed or undiagnosed. My focus will also be on proper nutrition as well as acupuncture and cranial massage therapy. The last exam room will be set aside for acupuncture and massage.”

Fiona asks me what my medical training involved. I respond, “I spent three years of my training working with patients. In the last year, I was able to see patients on my own but was mentored by a practicing homeopath. This will be my first time completely on my own. Now, my license is different from Jamie’s in that I can’t prescribe medication or order tests. So, if I need that for my patients, Jamie will review files and write up those orders.”

That afternoon, the software rep, Scott, comes to explain the Patient Portal to us. Mrs. Graham asks many questions because she’s the one most likely to field concerns from patients. Scott also trains Jamie and me on the records software that the office is using. I’m feeling a bit rusty on my technical skills, but I’m more confident by the end of our training.

After the staff leaves, I set up my desk and my side of the office. Jamie comes around and massages my shoulders as I review my notes. “How do ye feel Sassenach?”

I lean my head back against him. “A little nervous, but mostly excited. I thought maybe I can go through the patient files and see if anyone is ripe for my expertise. Scott showed me how to filter patients by their diagnosis, so that may help. We could have Mrs. Graham call patients who fit my profile and tell them about our new offerings.”

“That sounds like a good plan. Are you thinking of starting with people who have issues with chronic pain?”

“Yes, that’s one of the groups as well as people who come in often for allergy and stomach issues and migraine sufferers too.”

He nods, and I begin to do my search in the system. By the end of the day, I have my list of patients we can target. I tell Jamie I’m going back to the house to work on the foster care application.

That evening we finalize our application and submit it. Jamie will call his mate in the local council and let him know so he can expedite the initial review. 

We have our FaceTime call with Fergus. Usually, he tells us about his day, and we discuss the progress we’re making on the house. We have already given him a virtual tour but left out the kid’s room to avoid his questions. I talked with Miss Simmons earlier, and she agreed that we could bring Fergus for a visit.

Jamie asks, “How was yer day?”

“Fantastique! First, Harris was sick, so I enjoyed recess without looking over my shoulder. Second, I got a perfect score on my spelling test.” 

We smile, “Way to go. We knew ye could do it.”

“Fergus, we have some good news. We’re going to come and pick you up on Saturday morning to spend the day with us here at the house. How does that sound?”

His face breaks out in a huge grin. “Yay! I’m so excited to see the house. Can I sleepover?”

I frown at Jamie, before turning back to the phone. “We’re trying to get permission for you to stay over but haven’t been approved yet. Fingers crossed that will happen soon.”

“OK. But I can spend the entire day with you?”

“Aye, we’ll pick you up at 8 am and drop ye off at 8 pm.”

“I can help you at the house if you need it. I’m an excellent cleaner. You can ask Miss Simmons.”

I smile at my sweet boy. “No need, lad. We want to just enjoy the day with you. Now sleep well, and we’ll talk tomorrow.”

I blow him a kiss, and we disconnect. “Oh, Jamie. I can’t wait to have him here.”

“Me too. Do ye think we could take Fergus for a horse ride? I’m not sure what we’re allowed to do.”

“I think we can do anything safe. Would you plan to have Fergus ride with you or let him ride a horse by himself?”

“Both, I think. Wee Jamie has a pony that Fergus could ride in an enclosure, and there’s a helmet he can wear.”

“Wonderful. I think Fergus will love it, but we can see what he thinks.”

We change the subject to buying new vehicles. “So, are you ready to shop tomorrow for yer new car? What kind do ye want?”

“Not sure. I’ve been doing my safety research and am thinking of a Volvo XR60 Crossover or a Mercedes Benz A Class. How about you?”

“I like the Audi Q5 SUV. We can hit the first dealership tomorrow that sells Volvos and Mercedes and another one that sells Audis. Hopefully, they will have what we want in stock. I’m ready to get rid of this rental car.”

“Right. I’d like to stop by my storage locker and look through more boxes if you’re up for it.”

“I’m always up for anything with ye, Sassenach.” 

The following day, we buy an Audi Q5 off the lot for Jamie. We have to order the Volvo for me because the midnight blue color I want is not in stock. 

We decide to return the rental car, so I drive it to the drop off facility while Jamie follows in the SUV. Once Jamie finalizes the paperwork, we go to the storage facility. When I get in the SUV, I take a deep breath, “God, I love the new car smell.”

Jamie excitedly tells me, “It drives like a dream. The seats are roomy and so comfortable.”

I nod, a little jealous that my car was not available, but the test drive has me eager to get it.

We spend a few hours rummaging through boxes. I squeal when I find Lamb’s journals and carefully set them aside with some African artifacts and other books we plan to take home. Jamie asked to keep several books on archaeology.

I hug him around the middle as I look at a dozen boxes left unopened. “Jamie, I think that’s enough for today. One more trip, and we should be done here.”

He kisses the side of my temple, and we load the boxes in the car. Jamie asks if I want to drive the car home, and I thank him for the sweet offer but decline. I would be too nervous about harming his new car.

That night I take the most relaxing bubble bath and then settle into the room on the top floor reading through Lamb’s journals. Jamie’s stomach was upset after eating our spicey taco dinner, so he went to bed early after I gave him some peppermint tea.

I read all about Lamb’s early escapades. He started journaling at age 16, at the insistence of his father, who said it would make him a stronger writer. Reading through the first one brings out many emotions in me. Initially, it was hard to imagine him as a young man lacking confidence. By the end of his sixteenth year, I feel closer to him, knowing he shared some of the same inner struggles I did at that age. 

During his summer breaks from school, he participated in an excavation in Greece. That is where his love of archeology was born. I read eagerly as the teenage hand of my uncle talked of his exploits. 

Against his father’s wishes, he studied archaeology at Oxford University. My grandfather had hoped he would go into the family business of medicine. Fortunately, Lamb always supported my interests. _I wonder what my grandfather would think of my choice to be a homeopath and not a traditional doctor._

The most exciting journals cover the first few years after he graduated from university. In 1972, he was part of the first excavation in the Valley of the Kings in Egypt since Carter discovered Tutankhamen’s tomb in 1922. 

Lamb eagerly described the dig and how the burial chamber was slowly uncovered. Very little was found in the tomb, only fragments from the sarcophagus. I could feel his disappointment when he said the mummy was not found because the tomb had been vandalized. Nearly every image of the pharaoh had been hammered out of the walls. 

I heard some of these stories of this dig on subsequent visits I made with Lamb to Egypt. I fondly think of our days spent in Cairo and Luxor. His journals allow me to feel the excitement my uncle had at the start of his career. I realize I’m at the precipice now of my life’s work, and I pray I hold onto my passion for it as Lamb did for archaeology. 

I run my hands over my lips and smile. _Jamie was right. I can let the good times outweigh the bad._ I glance at my watch and gasp when I see it’s after 2 am. I had been reading these journals for over four hours. I couldn’t wait to share them with Jamie.

I quietly settle in bed and put a hand on Jamie’s forehead to make sure he has no fever. I let out a sigh as I find him cool to the touch. 

**_______________**

The next day, Jamie is excited to see patients. He decides to skip breakfast, given the horrible night he had with his stomach. We walk hand-in-hand to the office. As I enter the building, I have to blink back my tears at the emotions behind this moment. I had my doubts I would ever get here, but I look over with a grateful smile to Jamie and think there’s no one I’d rather be on this adventure with than this man.

I shadow Jamie as he sees each patient. We use the time to introduce me and explain our unique service offerings. 

The last patient for the day is a lovely 60-year old woman named Denise. I saw that she was on my list of patients to follow-up on since she suffers from chronic allergies and asthma. She is in the throes of a nasty sinus infection, and Jamie prescribes a 10-day course of Augmentin. We also learn that Denise’s asthma is poorly managed on a steroid inhaler.

I ask her some questions. “Denise, can you tell me a bit about your diet?”

“Well, I come from a big Italian family, so needless to say, I consume way too much bread and desserts.”

I laugh, “Are you allergic to any foods?”

“No.”

“Do any foods cause your mouth to itch?”

She thinks about this and responds, “Well, my mouth does itch sometimes, but I’m not sure what causes it.” She also reports frequent diarrhea and bilateral knee pain and inflammation that she just chalked up to age.

I consult with Jamie and tell him I recommend we order a broad sweep of labs, including ones to look at food allergies and food sensitivities and celiac disease, prevalent in Italians. He orders the tests, and we tell Denise we will call when her results are in.

Once we’re back in our office, Jamie pulls his chair over to me as I write up notes on Denise. “Sassenach, it was a pleasure to watch ye with a patient. I would never have thought to order those tests.”

I kiss him on the cheek. “It feels good to be working again. I hope we’ll find something that will help her.”

The rest of the workweek goes smoothly. We receive the bloodwork for Denise and schedule a follow-up appointment for her on Friday afternoon.

While Jamie sees a child with a Lego stuck up his nose, I meet with Denise to go over her results.

I enter the exam room and see Denise sitting in the chair, looking nervous. “Hello, Denise. How have you been since our last visit?”

Denise looks up as I sit on a stool in front of her. “Better, thank you. The antibiotics seem to be working.”

“That’s good to hear. Well, I have your results, and they explain many of your symptoms.” I explain to her she has several allergies to common foods and tested positive for the celiac gene.

Denise frowns, and I give her a warm smile. “The good news is you can make some simple changes that I think will drastically improve your life. Celiac disease is an immune disease, so eating gluten will damage your small intestine. You will need to remove all gluten-containing grains from your diet. I also want you to start a high dose probiotic.”

I hand her a booklet, putting my hand on her shoulder to calm her nerves. “I put together materials for you to read and a few sample weekly menus. This also includes a list of things you should not eat as well as some herbal supplements you should try.” 

Denise flips through the booklet and lets out a long breath. “Thank you. This information is exactly what I need. I have other family members with celiac disease.” 

“I’m not surprised. Now your allergy to dust mites is likely worsening your asthma and causing your frequent sinus infections. I recommend a good HEPA filtration system for your house and some dust-mite proof bedding. You should also have your carpets either cleaned or removed.”

Denise smiles and says, “I’m relieved to know what is causing all of my issues, and I will read through the booklet and start all of your recommendations.”

“Wonderful. I think you’ll see improvements over the next few weeks. Please feel free to call with any questions.”

After saying goodbye to Denise, I walk back to the office and find Jamie at his desk. “Hi love, how’d it go with the Lego?”

Walking over to him, I massage his shoulders as he responds. “A great success after the wee lad settled down enough to let me extract it. Poor mother was beside herself, seeing him so upset.”

I nod, thinking I would probably feel the same way. “How did Denise take the news?”

Wrapping my arms around his shoulders, he rests his head against my stomach. “She’s nervous with all the changes she needs to make but was grateful for the booklet I made her.”

“Ye definitely go above and beyond what most practitioners would do. This is going to make a huge difference to her, and I bet ye will get more patients by word of mouth.”

Leaning down, I kiss his red curls before sitting in my chair and entering my notes in the system. When I finish, my mind wanders to Fergus, who will spend the day with us tomorrow.

I leave the office before Jamie, so I can swing by the store to buy some provisions for the weekend. As I’m exiting the store, I receive a call from an unknown number. I tentatively answer, thinking it’s a sales call. “Hello, this is Claire Beauchamp.”

“Miss Beauchamp. This is Bruce Buchanan from the local council. I’m calling about ye and Mr. Fraser’s application to be a foster carer.”

My heart immediately starts to thump as I tighten my grip on the phone. 

“I would like to set up a time to meet with you and Mr. Fraser. Would you have time on Monday afternoon?”

I fumble as I put the call on speaker so I can pull up our work calendar. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Buchanan. Let me just check our calendar. . . Can I ask how long this meeting would be?”

“Maybe an hour or so.”

“Looks like we are free at 2 pm and at 4 pm that day. Do either time work for you?”

“Yes, I can do 2 pm. The first meeting would take place at our local office. I know Jamie kens where it is.”

I laugh. “I’m sure. We look forward to meeting you next week.”

“Wonderful. Have a nice weekend.”

When the call disconnects, I’m a bit dazed. I did not expect this would happen so quickly. My stomach feels funny, but I find myself skipping to the car as excitement runs through me. I drive home as I start to worry about the interview.

Jamie comes out to help me with the groceries. I tell him about the call with Bruce. 

“Sassenach, that’s great news. It looks like Bruce got us on a very fast track. Do ye want to talk with Fergus about this tomorrow?”

I bite my lip and close my eyes to think. I finally say, “Yes, I think it makes sense to see what Fergus thinks. At least now, we will be in the process.”

He pulls me in for a kiss and says, “Great. Oh, I heard from the call dealership, and your Volvo is in. We can pick it up tomorrow night after we drop wee Fergus back home.”

I hug him. A mix of emotions runs through me. _OMG. Soon I may be a mother. Am I ready? Will I be a good one?_ Jamie pulls back and kisses my temple. _OMG, I’m going to raise a child with Jamie._ My heart eases at the thought, and I pull Jamie tightly to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who posted comments on the last chapter. It gave me the courage and motivation to write more.😘 I apologize for the delay in posting. I started grad school, and I have a lot less time now. 😩 Many thanks again to my beta, JeSuisPrest. I have learned so much from her.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> J/C spend the day with Fergus. SMUT at the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mention of child abuse

The next morning, we are early to pick up Fergus, so we wait in the car and finish our coffee. We are happy to have a bright sunny day ahead of us. Our discussion turns to the practice and patients we have scheduled for the following week. Jamie’s family and friends have spread the word about our services, and I have patients booked every day, and Jamie’s schedule is full.

I see the time and leave Jamie in the car to run up and get Fergus. Two seconds after ringing the doorbell, the door swings open. A smiling Fergus wraps his arm around me. “Morning, sweetheart, it’s so good to see you without your cast, and,” lifting his face, “your eye looks much better.” His bruise has faded. 

“Oui, can we go, Milady?” I laugh, “Hold your horses and let me talk with Miss Simmons.”

Right on cue, his foster mother comes out of the kitchen and says hello. I remind her about our plans for returning Fergus this evening, and she nods and tells us to have a good day. 

I check and make sure Fergus’ backpack has everything he needs for the day. He grabs my hand and pulls me outside. It warms my heart to see him so excited.

We get in the car, and Fergus eagerly greets Jamie. “Hi, Jamie. Thank you for letting me spend the day wit you.”

Jamie smiles and says, “Of course, Fergus. Is everyone buckled in?”

I see Jamie check the mirror to make sure Fergus was secure. Squeezing his hand, I look back at Fergus and say, “Did you have any breakfast this morning?”

“Oui, Milady. Miss Simmons made me eat breakfast. My belly was jumpy, but I still ate four pancakes and 3 sausages.”

I laugh. “Very good. Our first stop will be Lallybroch. That’s where Jamie grew up. They have goats, pigs, sheep, and horses.”

“Aye. We thought ye might like to ride a horse while we’re there. Afterward, we’ll be having lunch with my sister and her family.”

Fergus’ eyes got big. “I’ve never ridden a horse before. Do you think I‘ll be any good at it?”

Jamie looks in the mirror at Fergus and gives me a side glance. “Aye, lad. I’ve been around horses my whole life, and ye definitely have the build to be a great horseman.” I nod my head and smile at Jamie. He gives me a quick smile back. 

Fergus eyes go wide, and he says, “Really?” Jamie nods in the mirror so Fergus can see him. Fergus laughs and rubs his hands together in anticipation. “I can’t wait to ride a horse.”

Jamie reaches out to hold my hand. I see Fergus snickering in the back, and I shake my head and settle in for the drive ahead. 

I’m startled out of my light sleep when the car hits gravel. Fergus leans forward and points. “You grew up in that big house?”

“Aye. Twas a lot of fun. You’ll see.” Jamie looks in my eyes knowingly. I smile at the thought of Fergus spending time at Lallybroch.

Ian comes out of the house with wee Jamie in tow. We introduce them to Fergus, and he follows wee Jamie to see his pony. 

“Jenny and Maggie will be back before lunch. They went out shopping for clothes for the wee lassie.”

We walk into the stables where wee Jamie is telling Fergus all about his pony, Scotty, a lovely white Highland pony. 

Jamie grabs Fergus a helmet, and Ian puts a saddle on Scotty. Wee Jamie gives Fergus a few pointers. “He likes to be scratched behind the ears, like this.” The horse leans into wee Jamie’s hand as he scratches. “When yer done, hell eat as many sugar cubes as ye’ll give him.”

Fergus smiles and scratches Scotty behind the ears. I take Wee Jamie’s hand and lean down and kiss him on the cheek. “Thank you for sharing your pony with Fergus.” He smiles bashfully at me.

Jamie places the helmet on Fergus and has to take it off to widen it to fit around his mop of curls. Once the helmet is adjusted for Fergus, Jamie hands him the horse lead. They walk side-by-side out to the paddock. 

I walk over and stand behind the fence, watching my two boys intensely. Jamie helps Fergus get up on the horse and adjusts the stirrups to fit his legs. He tells Fergus, “The first thing is to relax. Yer pony can feel if ye’re fearful. I ken it’s scary being on a horse for the first time, but Scotty is verra gentle. Now sit up straight, lad, and try to keep yer ears, shoulders, and heels aligned.”

Fergus looks at Jamie as he holds onto the reigns tightly. “What does that mean?”

“Well, imagine yer’re trying to have a straight line from your ears to your heels.” Jamie touches Fergus’ ear and draws an imaginary line to his heels. “Maintaining your posture during your ride will keep ye balanced in the saddle, and Scotty will appreciate that verra much.”

Jamie shows Fergus how to hold the reigns, and then he leads him around the ring. I take a few pictures with my phone. Fergus looks a bit terrified. Jamie senses this and stops Scotty and rubs his hand on Fergus’ leg as he whispers to him. I see Fergus straighten his back as Jamie starts to walk them again.

In a matter of minutes, I see Fergus relax and start to smile. Jamie begins to walk them around faster. After several passes, he asks Fergus if he’s ready to try on his own. Fergus looks back to me for support, and I say, “You’re doing fabulous, sweetheart.” He nods, and Jamie unsnaps the lead as he tells Fergus to let Scotty take him around the ring.

Jamie walks over to stand by me and says, “The lad’s doing well for his first time.” As he goes around the ring, I can see his confidence build. Jamie says, “Lad, yer doing great. Let us know when ye’re ready to stop.”

Fergus spends another ten minutes riding around before he finishes. Jamie tells him to pull back on the reigns lightly as he showed him. He does, and Scotty comes to a stop. Fergus is beaming as Jamie helps him off the pony. He runs over to me and excitedly tells me about his ride. 

“Milady, that was so much fun. I was scared at first, but Scotty is a very good pony.”

I hug him and remove his helmet and brush back his curls as I lean down and kiss his forehead. “You were fantastic, Fergus.”

“Come on, lad, let me teach ye how to brush him.”

Fergus runs after Jamie as they take Scotty back to the stable. I follow along and visit Donas and the other horses as they finish up. I wonder which horse Jamie will want me to ride today.

I hear Jamie calling to me. “Sassenach, let’s go get a drink before we go for our long ride.” We go into the kitchen to get some beverages, and Fergus thanks wee Jamie for letting him ride Scotty. 

I take Fergus hand as we go back to the stables. Jamie saddles up Donas and a brown mare called Bonnie. “She’s a sweet lass Sassenach, but I want ye to wear a helmet as well since ye have not ridden by yerself in a long time.”

I raise my eyebrows. “Jamie, you should wear one too to set a good example.”

I accept the helmet and help Fergus get his back on. Jamie puts on a helmet to humor me. He helps me on my horse and then lifts Fergus onto Donas. Once he’s in the saddle, he yells, “Woah, Jamie. He’s so much bigger than Scotty.” Jamie laughs and swings up behind Fergus. I take a picture of the two of them before we start. 

We head out through the fields. Jamie decides to take a different route than we took before so he can show us a waterfall. After I am comfortable with Bonnie, he begins to go faster, and I hear Fergus screaming out his joy as Jamie has Donas run. I do my best to keep up, but my horse is no match for the power of the stallion. I smirk. _Both stallions, I think_.

I catch up to them and hear Jamie telling Fergus about the history of his property. “In the early 1700s, my ancestors settled this land. Ye ken the clans in the Highlands used to have chiefs.” 

“Oui, we learned about that in history class.”

“And Highland farmers would follow the instructions of their chiefs. My ancestors were clan chiefs.” 

“You’re part of the Fraser clan, right?”

“Aye, and the Mackenzie’s. Back then, clansmen would mainly speak Gaelic, and their culture - through storytelling, poetry, and music - was oral. This means stories would be passed through generations from fathers and mothers to their children.”

My vision blurs with unspent tears as I realize Jamie is doing that right now. I quickly wipe a tear before they see me.

“The first Jacobite rebellion against the British crown was in 1715, and there was widespread support across Scotland to restore a Stuart King. The second rebellion was thirty years later, but that one was fought mainly by Highlanders.”

“Jamie, am I a Highlander?”

“Aye, lad. Ye’re growing up here, so ye’re one of us.”

Fergus is smiling, but then he frowns and says, “So, milady is not a Highlander?”

“Well, because she’s my lass, she’s one now.”

I’m touched that Jamie has anointed me a Highlander.

“My class visited Culloden last year. We learned all about what happened to the clans after the rebellion. It was very sad.”

“It was, and many Highlanders are trying hard to bring back our culture. Does yer school teach Gaelic?”

“No. Can you teach me?”

Jamie looked over at me and smiles. “Aye, Fergus. I’d be happy to teach ye.”

Along the ride, Jamie gives Fergus his first lesson. I eagerly listen, wanting to learn Gaelic as well. We learn cold is ‘fuar,’ warm is ‘blath’ (sounds like bla), wet is ‘fliuch,’ dry is ‘tioram’ (‘ti’ sounds like ‘ch’), dark is ‘dorcha,’ bright is ‘soilleir’ (sounds like soilet).

When we reach the waterfall, I get off my horse and help Fergus down. Jamie leads the horses and ties them to a tree by the water so they can drink. 

I take Jamie’s hand as Fergus runs to the water. “It’s beautiful, Jamie. Thank you for bringing us.”

He kisses me as we walk towards Fergus. Jamie picks up a rock and skips it across the water six times. 

Fergus picks up a rock and throws it and frowns when it splashes in the water. 

Jamie grabs a rock and hands it to Fergus. Kneeling beside Fergus, he says, “I’m gonna to teach ye the secrets that my Da passed down to me about skipping rocks. Ye want to pick a flat stone, the size of your palm. Triangular stones like this seem to work best.”

Fergus tests the weight of the stone in his hand and smiles as Jamie continues. “Hold it with your thumb and middle finger and use your index finger to grasp the edge. Ye want yer thumb on top.”

Fergus positions his hand on the stone, trying to follow Jamie’s instructions.

Jamie rises. “Now, Fergus, when ye go to throw, be sure and stand up straight but lower yer hand as ye release the rock.”

Fergus takes the rock and holds it in his hand. “Like this, Jamie?”

Jamie makes one small adjustment and shows Fergus the motion of the throw one more time. 

Fergus gets into position and throws the rock. He jumps in the air when it bounces twice across the water. We all spend time skipping rocks, and Fergus is so excited that his final throw skips four times.

Jamie and I congratulate him with fist bumps and start our journey back to Lallybroch for lunch. Along the way, we practice more Gaelic and learn a little more Highland history from Jamie. 

Fergus and I help Jamie brush Donas and Bonnie. As we walk in the house, Jamie asks me, “Did ye like riding Bonnie, or do ye want to try some another mare before we pick yer horse?”

“I love her, Jamie, so let’s take her home with Donas.”

“Wonderful. We can plan to do that next week.”

We all go and wash our hands and see that Jenny has returned with Maggie. Ian is cooking hamburgers and hot dogs for lunch. Fergus spends time excitedly telling everyone about how much fun he had riding horses and skipping rocks. 

Jenny leans over to me and says, ‘What a sweet lad. Jamie told me all about yer plans for wee Fergus. I think he’ll fit in well with the family.”

I give her a warm smile. Indeed, Fergus is getting on splendidly with the younger Murrays. 

I help Jenny clean up lunch as wee Jamie gives Fergus a tour of the house, and they run around the yard and play a bit in the treehouse. 

Finally, I call him down so we can head over to the house. His face is all flushed from over-exertion, and he’s winded when he comes around to say his goodbyes. We wave and head off to show Fergus what we hope will become his new home.

As we get out of the car and Fergus points to the surrounding structures and asks, “How many people live here?”

“Just us.”

“Wow!” We show him through the first floor. I sit on the couch and pat it for Fergus to join me. Jamie stands by the fireplace.

“Milady, your house is magnifique.”

I laugh. “It’s pretty spectacular. Listen, Jamie, and I wanted to talk with you.”

Fergus has a worried look on his face, so I take his hand and give it a comforting squeeze.

“We’ve put in an application to be foster parents. We have an interview on Monday.”

Fergus stiffens and removes his hand from mine, looking down, he says, “So, you’ll have your own kid and won’t want me anymore?”

I quickly look at Jamie. I put my finger under Fergus’ chin to tip it up to look at me. I see tears in his eyes. “Listen, sweetheart. We want to get approved as foster parents so you can come and live with us. What do you think about that?”

He says in a voice just above a whisper. “Seriously? You want me to live wit you?”

I pull him to me and run my hand through his curls. “Yes, dear boy. We would love for you to live with us.”

Fergus looks at Jamie. “You too?”

Jamie kneels and pulls us both in a bear hug. “Aye, lad.”

As soon as we let him go, Fergus stands and is jumping. “Woohoo. I want to live wit you. When can I move in?”

Jamie and I smile at each other. “Fergus, we have to get approved. Jamie and I have an interview with the local council, and then we’ll need to pass a home visit. We also need to take some classes so it could be some time.”

Jamie puts his hand on Fergus’ shoulder. “Lad, I have a mate on the local council who is trying to speed things along. In the meantime, we’ll keep having our nightly calls, and see you at least once a week.”

Fergus nods and wipes a few tears from his eyes before hugging me around my waist.

We show him the rest of the house with the last stop being his bedroom. His eyes are wide when he sees the room. He quickly climbs up on the bunk bed, lying down, he says, “I would sleep really well here. It’s loud at Miss Simmons with the other children, and I have to share a room with a six-year-old.”

He gets down and investigates the bookshelves, the desk, and some of the toys that were left behind. Pointing to a fire truck, Fergus says, “I think wee Jamie would like these toys.”

Jamie says, “We can redecorate the room anyway, ye want.”

Fergus responds, “I love the blue walls. Maybe some posters about space. I want to be an astronaut when I grow up.” 

Reluctantly, he leaves the room so we can show him the garden and the stable. Since the weather is still warm, we get on our bathing suits and grab some towels before we head to the pond that is on the property. 

I walk between Fergus and Jamie and take their hands in mine. I tell Fergus I have not yet seen the pond. We’re all excited when we reach the water. 

“Wow, Jamie, this is nice. Why didn’t you bring me here before?”

“Well, we’ve been busy, and I wanted to surprise you with the lad.”

Jamie and I remove our shoes and shirts. Jamie hears Fergus gasp, so he explains what happened to his back.

Fergus steps around to look at Jamie’s scars. He doesn’t flinch when Fergus touches them. “This must have hurt really bad.”

“Aye, it was painful.” Fergus removes his shirt and shows us burns on his stomach, which I assume were made from a cigarette. “My Maman’s boyfriend did this because I was acting like,” he whispers, “a little shite.” 

I wrap my arms around Fergus’ shoulders and pull his head to my stomach. I look at Jamie with pain in my eyes. Jamie kneels and says, “He was a bad man for doing that to ye. No one deserves to be hurt like that. No matter what ye do. Ye ken?”

Fergus looks at Jamie and nods. Jamie kisses his temple and stands to wrap us both in his arms. 

Fergus finally breaks the tension. “Can we go in the water?” 

We take his hand and run into the water. “Fergus, can you swim?” He shakes his head, and Jamie tells him, “Dinna fash. We’ll teach ye.”

For this trip, we stay in the shallow end and have fun splashing each other. When we get out, Fergus shivers and says, “I’m fliuch and fuar.” Jamie laughs and ruffles Fergus’ hair. He tells him he’s a “braw lad” as he hands him a towel. Fergus looks up at Jamie with a big smile on his face. 

“Come on, men, let’s go make some pizza.”

After we change into dry clothes, we make individual pizzas. Jamie shows Fergus how to roll out his dough for the crust. Fergus decides to have mushrooms and pepperoni. Jamie has pineapple, and we both groan at him. I have sundried tomatoes and peppers.

We are all hungry after the busy day we’ve had. We go into the family room to watch the Legos Movie. 

Jamie and Fergus laugh throughout the movie. It is a cute kid’s movie, and I imagine we will be watching a lot more like this. When it’s over, I ask Fergus, “So, who was your favorite character.”

He says, “Emmet, of course. My favorite line was, ‘Okay, I think I got it, but just in case say it all over again I wasn’t listening.’”

“Wait, you used to say that to me, when I was teaching you maths.”

He snickers, and I grab him around his neck and tickle him. 

Fergus falls asleep on the drive home. “Looks like we tired him out.”

Jamie kisses my hand. “It was a braw day.”

When we get to the building, I come around and shake Fergus to wake him. He startles and says, “I’m awake.” He rubs his eyes and says sleepily, “Thanks for today. I had a lot of fun.”

Jamie turns and gives him a fist bump. “Yer welcome, lad. We had a grand time with ye.”

Before we close the door, Jamie yells, “Slán, that means goodbye in Gaelic.”

Fergus says, “Slán, Jamie.”

We tell Miss Simmons about his day, and Fergus hugs me. I let her know we told him about our application. I also ask her what we should expect at the interview, and she fills me in on her experience.”

I get back to the car. “Miss Simmons told me that the interview would discuss a lot of the information we provided in our application. They will ask questions about our relationship and our work hours.”

Jamie smiles. “That all seems like it will be easy for us. Today was great with Fergus.”

“Yea. He fits in so well with us.” Sadness clouds over my eyes. “I knew he was abused but didn’t have the details. You were amazing with him, Jamie.” 

I see Jamie grip the steering wheel tightly. “That was hard to see. How could anyone harm a bairn? I wanted to punch a tree. Still do, to be honest.”

“We need to find out more about what happened to him so we can help him process it. I’m still not sure he gets that he doesn’t deserve it. Another reason we have to get him away from that bully. That sweet boy doesn’t deserve being hurt in any way.” A tear slips down my face.

It’s a somber drive to the dealership as we contemplate our future with Fergus. He deserves to be safe, and we will do anything to make that happen.

We pull into the lot and finalize the paperwork to take ownership of the car. Before we part, Jamie tells me to drive carefully. He says he will drive behind me and gauge my speed. I laugh and kiss him goodbye.

_________________

A rainy Sunday finds us spending the day inside unpacking boxes and organizing the garage. We take a break to cuddle on the couch. I share Lamb’s journals with Jamie, and he enjoys getting to know the man who was responsible for molding me into the woman I am today. We also peruse some family photo albums. 

“Ye were such an adorable wee lass.” He kisses behind my ear. “Yer everything I ever wanted in a woman.” He nibbles my ear, and I giggle. I drop the photo album and turn around and straddle his lap. My fingers wrap around his ears, and I kiss around his soft lips. His hand goes to the back of my head to deepen our connection as his tongue massages the roof of my mouth. I moan as he turns and pins me on the couch. 

Jamie pulls my shirt off and smiles when he finds me braless. He sucks on my nipple and I run my hands through his hair as I moan. Our reverie is interrupted by a beeping noise coming from the kitchen. “Ugh! I have to get the scones before they burn.”

Jamie reluctantly moves off me, and I run and pull the baking sheet out of the oven. He sneaks up behind me and grabs me around the waist. I turn off the stove as Jamie licks the back of my ear. I attempt to turn around, but he holds onto me and picks me up and turns us around, so my hips are pushed into the counter of the island.

“Jamie, what are you doing?” I gasp as he pulls down my pants and his fingers slide into my core. 

“I’m having my way with ye lass.” 

“God, yes,” I groan as one thick finger plunges into me, causing my hips to rock against him. “Jamie,” I gasp, as he presses the heel of his hand against my clit and presses another finger inside me. “Jamie,” I moan as my hips writhing against his hand.

He pauses to remove his clothes, and I soon feel his warm chest behind me and whine as he

pushes me forward, whimpering when my nipples slide across the cold granite. Groaning low in his throat, he runs his length through my wetness. “Ahhh, Sassenach. I love the feel of ye, slippery like waterweed.” My laugh turns into a groan as he thrusts inside me. I hold my breath as he fills me, my nails digging into the counter.

“A Dhia,” Jamie groans as he feels me contract around him. He immediately pulls out before plunging back into me. My breath comes out in pants as my hips move in rhythm with his. His hands hold onto my hips so tightly that I have no doubt I’ll be sporting bruises tomorrow, but at the moment, I welcome them as he pounds harder.

“Fuck, Jamie.” My entire body shakes when I feel his fingers against my clit. I reach back to tangle my hand in his hair as I turn my head, attacking his lips with my own. Jamie pumps harder as his fingers rub tight circles around my clit, urging me to come.

I come apart in his arms, my inner walls squeezing him as I cry out his name against his lips. My body shakes as he continues to thrust. Finally, we fall against the counter as he empties himself inside of me, panting heavily. 

Moving off me, I stand and turn around on wobbly legs and pull him into a grateful embrace. Jamie lifts me to sit on the counter. His eyes fall between my legs, and we both groan as we take in the milky substance of our joint release. 

Looking in my eyes, he smirks as he leans forward to lick and suck on my nipple. He pushes me back and puts my legs on his shoulder. “Oh, God, Jamie,” I cry as he blows a warm breath along my core. I shiver as I feel the scruff of his beard rubs against my lips as his tongue finds its way to my entrance. He hums as he feasts on me. His nose massages my bundle of nerves. I push my hand against the back of his head for more pressure where I need it. 

He grabs my hand and laces our fingers together as I writhe against his mouth. “Ahhhh, Jamie.” He replaces his tongue with two fingers and sucks my clit hard. I grasp his fingers tightly as I arch into him, screaming my release. 

I look up at Jamie as I catch my breath. He leans over and gently kisses me. As he pulls me up, I whisper in his ear, “You better deep clean this counter after that, you naughty boy.” He grabs a scone and stuffs it in my mouth. I munch on it as I collect our discarded clothes and run upstairs to shower.

As I look at the red marks on my hips, I can’t help but smile and think about my passionate Scot and how happy he makes me. _Please, God, don’t let this bubble burst!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all you lovies who left comments on the last chapter. I adore the feedback and apologize for not responding.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> J/C have an interview about becoming foster parents.

I wake up before the alarm and feel Jamie’s arms wrapped around me. I hold his hand tightly as I contemplate what lies ahead for us today. I hope our foster care interview goes well. Jamie stirs and kisses my neck. “Good morning Sassenach.” I raise his hand to my lip and kiss each knuckle.

“Jamie, we should get up.” He moves his hand up to my breast, and my giggle turns into a moan. “I’m up. Can’t you feel it.” I feel him poking me from behind. “Mmmm, Jamie. Today is going to be stressful.”

He continues his ministrations and, in a deep voice, says, “Aye. I ken, and I have a way to take away yer stress.” A shiver runs through me as he kisses behind my ear and rubs his stubble along my neck. 

I see his point as he moves his hand lower into my knickers. “Ahhh, I guess we can stay in bed a few minutes more.”

Jamie spends time destressing me thoroughly for the challenging day ahead. He leaves me to shower as I lay in bed with a smile on my face. _God, I love that man._

I’m on cloud nine as I enter the bathroom. Jamie steps out of the shower as I enter. I smack him on his lovely arse. _Happy to know that part of him is all mine._ He pulls me into a deep kiss before he goes to shave. 

We make it to the office a few minutes ahead of schedule. The day passes quickly, and we talk about our upcoming interview over lunch. After finishing with our patients, we take my car to the local council’s office.

We are immediately led to Bruce’s office when we arrive. He and Jamie greet each other warmly with a handshake and a pat on the back, having known each other since primary school. Bruce takes a seat behind his desk as we sit down in separate chairs. I nervously fiddle with my necklace. Rubbing my fingers over the Braille, ‘I Love You,’ and smile, remembering how Jamie first professed his love to me. 

“So, ye two are looking to become foster parents to wee Fergus. Miss Beauchamp, can ye tell me how ye came to know the lad?”

“Of course, and please call me Claire. As you can see from our application, I had an accident and lost my sight for a little over a year. Royal Blind, an organization in Scotland that assists the visually impaired, had a program for school children to read to people. I was paired with Fergus, who happened to live across the street from me. We started meeting weekly, but soon he would spend every afternoon with me. You see, we both share a love of books. During that time, he became very dear to me, and I’ve wanted to adopt him for a while, but my circumstances at the time made that impossible.”

“Aye. So now ye are in a new relationship with Jamie. How long have ye known each other?”

Jamie put his hand up to signal to me he would answer. “Bruce, we’ve known each other for a few months. I met Claire in the final week of my clinical training and accompanied her to Boston for eye surgery. During that time, we became very close. I ken right away that Claire was my soulmate.”

I looked at Bruce when Jamie said that to gauge his reaction. 

“Aye, Jamie. I ken the feeling for it’s how I felt the instant I met my wife, Cindy. So, tell me a bit about what’s happened to make you both want to do this now?”

I relax in my seat. “Fergus has been in six foster homes already, and I don’t want him to wait any longer for the permanent home he deserves. Before I agreed to move in with Jamie, I told him that was a goal of mine.”

Jamie interrupted. “And I, having met Fergus before this conversation, said I was fully on board with the idea. I love my niece and nephew and have always wanted a big family. We purchased Mackenzie’s house and have three extra bedrooms.” Jamie pulls up a photo of the bedroom we want for Fergus and shows it to Bruce. “This would be Fergus’ room.”

Bruce took the phone to look more closely. “Well, any child would be lucky to have a room like that. I heard ye were taking over Mackenzie’s practice.”

“Aye, Claire has joined me, as you will see in our application. As you ken, my sister and her husband live at Lallybroch, and we have included them as references. They met Fergus this past Saturday and are eager to welcome him to the family.”

Bruce smiled. “So, Claire. How is yer health?”

I expected this question, so I calmly answer, “Good. My doctors have given me a clean bill of health and told me that my vision is restored. I have no medical issues, and neither does Jamie.”

“That’s very good to hear. As ye can imagine, ye have a unique set of circumstances since ye are a new couple. Do ye plan to have yer own children one day?”

I looked at Jamie, and his blue eyes seemed to pierce mine as he awaited my answer. “Yes, Jamie and I do want to have children one day. But, we want to adopt Fergus before we’d even think about trying for our first one.”

Jamie looked at me with such love in his eyes. I reach across and take the hand he offers me.

“Ok. Would ye be willing to foster other children? We have a great need for good homes.”

Warning bells went off in my head since this was not something Jamie and I discussed. We look at each other, and I squeeze his hand, asking him to answer.

“Bruce, we have not discussed that yet. I would be open to other children but would want to make sure that Fergus was settled in well before we would consider it.”

“Yes, I agree. I wouldn’t want anything to interfere with us adopting Fergus and Jamie, and I would need to discuss that further.”

Bruce wrote something down on his paper, and I gave a worried look to Jamie. 

“That’s fine. We can put you down as a one-child home for now.” He smiles. “Of course, that is if you get final approval.” He winks at us, which eases my mind.

“So, what would the arrangement be for childcare?”

I answer, “We would arrange it so one of us would be home when Fergus returned from school. In the summers, he could spend time at Lallybroch, or we could find an appropriate day camp for him to attend.”

Bruce nods and writes that down. “We have all of your financial information, and we will be calling your references. I see ye list a Miss Simmons who is Fergus’ current foster mother. We will also talk with Fergus. Is he aware of your intentions?”

“Aye, we talked with him on Saturday, and he is very excited. He calls us before he goes to bed, and we plan to spend one day a week with him until we can bring him home.”

“That is a sound plan. Now, I will tell ye off the record I’m going to recommend we preliminarily approve yer application and get ye into the next steps. There are a few classes that you will need to complete, and ye have to pass a home visit. The classes are offered in the evening and on weekends. Once ye have completed everything, we will go to the full council at that time for the approval to place Fergus in yer home with the intention to adopt him.”

Jamie kisses my hand when he hears the good news. “Bruce, how long do ye think this will take? Wee Fergus is dealing with a bully at his school, and we want to get him out of that situation.”

“Oh, dear. Well, we will expedite yer application, so we may be able to do it in two to three months so before the next school term. It normally would take twice that long, but given yer standing in the community, I don’t foresee any problems. Ye being in the medical field will help here.”

I ask a question I know we will get from Fergus. “Bruce, do you think we can get permission to have Fergus for a weekend before then? It would be great if he could get comfortable in the house.”

“Unfortunately, ye have to finish the classes and pass the home visit so he would not be able to stay over until ye had full approval.” 

Bruce hands us a packet that details the next step in the process and a form for Jamie to fill out for his background check. He said he would call when we have the green light to take our classes.

Jamie and I walk out hand-in-hand. He leans in and gives me a tender kiss before opening my door. When we’re in the car, I let out a massive sigh of relief. 

“Jamie, that went so well. I can’t believe we could get him that quickly.”

I lean my head into the steering wheel. I had not realized how tense I was for this meeting. Jamie rubs my shoulders. “It’s exciting Sassenach. I think you and I have much to discuss. What are our plans for future children? Do we think we will want to take in more foster children?”

I groan. “I know. I’m sorry we didn’t talk more about this. You go and see the rest of your patients, and I’ll cook us a nice dinner, and we can talk more.”

As Jamie goes off to the office, I head to the kitchen to look through cookbooks. I end up roasting some acorn squash and tossing it with turkey, mushrooms, apples, and cheddar cheese. 

I’m on the last step of the cooking process when Jamie comes home. Walking into the kitchen, he says, “It smells heavenly in here, Sassenach.”

I hand him a glass of white wine and tell him dinner will be ready in ten minutes. Before dinner is prepared, Jamie receives a text from Jenny with a sample social media ad to review. Jamie shows it to me. 

“I really like it, Jamie. What do you think?”

“Aye, Jenny’s done a fine job. Now that our website redesign is up, we can start advertising.”

The timer dings, and I pull out the acorn squash. Jamie asks what’s inside, and he licks his lips when he hears the ingredients. I whip up a salad as the squash cools, and we eat in the conservatory to watch the setting sun. 

“Mmmm. Sassenach, you’ve outdone yerself. The apples mixed in with everything else makes it the perfect salty and sweet combo.”

“Thank you, darling. I found the recipe today, but it’s a keeper for sure.”

Jamie takes my free hand. “Sassenach, let’s talk about our future and what we want.”

“Well, I want us to continue building our life together. Ideally, we adopt Fergus and get him settled, and down the road, I would love nothing more than to have children with you.”

He kisses my knuckles. “Aye, I would love to fill this house with our children, but how many do ye want, and what do ye think about fostering other bairns?”

“I think three kids would be good since we’d have a room for each of them. If we’re blessed with one of our own, I’d be happy for the others to be adopted, but I’ll leave that up to God to decide. How many were you thinking?”

“Well, I was thinking twelve, but we don’t have the room.” My mouth falls open as Jamie continues, “Maybe eight since bairns can double up, and we can turn the room upstairs into another bedroom. And I’m fine with fostering and adopting more children.” 

I choke, “Eight, are you out of your mind?”

Jamie laughs. “I’m only kidding Sassenach. I’ll have as many as you’ll give me?”

I go back to eating, but my mind drifts to raising children with Jamie. I smile at how much my life has changed over the past few months. 

________________

On Friday, we learn that the local council has approved us to begin our classes. 

Over the next two months, we take classes that cover six key areas: (1) the role of a foster carer, (2) team parenting and working together, (3) understanding children and young people, (4) safer caring, (5) becoming a resilient and successful carer, and (6) supporting children when they leave your care.

I pray we did not need to know anything about the sixth area. During this time, we continue to see Fergus every Saturday. Donas and Bonnie move to our stables, and Jamie teaches Fergus how to muck stalls and feed the horses. 

Before the home visit, we work on updating Fergus’ space-themed room. Jamie and Ian paint the ceiling and suspended the sun and the planets.

I hang some art on the walls, including blueprints of a spacesuit and the space shuttle.

I also hang some fun, colorful prints of aliens, a space gun, and an inspirational quote, so Fergus knows how much we love him.

Jenny bought some portholes to place above Fergus bunk bed. These would make him feel like he was in space.

The last piece was a sheet and comforter set with the solar system.

Once the bed is made, I look around at our handiwork and smile. I hug Jamie and thank Ian and Jenny for their help. We can’t wait to show Fergus.

The home visit goes well. The inspector looks in every room of the house. She makes sure we have running water, properly working toilets, and that our heat was operational. She confirms we have fire extinguishers, working smoke detectors and that the alcohol is locked away. She asks us about firearms, and Jamie shows her the safe for his hunting rifles. 

The last part of the inspection was the outer buildings. She told us we passed with flying colors and that we would be hearing from the local council soon.

We didn’t hear anything for in the next five days, so we call Bruce and ask him what he knew. Bruce tells us we were approved and that the caseworker assigned to Fergus would be calling to arrange a time for the transfer.

We were dancing for joy when we got off the phone. I hug Jamie, “Let’s call Fergus and tell him the good news.”

I call Miss Simmons and tell her we were approved. She quickly hands the phone to Fergus.

“Hello, milady. Why do you call so early?”

“Fergus, sweetheart. Jamie and I have good news. We were approved to be your foster parents.”

I had to move the phone away from our ears when he screams. Jamie and I laugh, and I wipe away a few tears.

“When do I get to come and live wit you?”

“We need to wait for your caseworker to set that up. It should be soon, Fergus.”

Jamie chimes in, “Lad, we can’t wait to show you what we’ve done to yer room.”

“Me too. Thank you so much for taking me. I don’t know how I can sleep tonight.”

“Well, try your best. We’ll call you tomorrow. We love you.”

Fergus blows us a kiss and says, “I love you both so much. Bonne Nuit.”

I hug Jamie tightly when we disconnect the call. “Jamie, I’m so grateful you’re willing to go on this journey with me.” I kiss him passionately, and I hear him moan as I bite his bottom lip.

“Sassenach, we better get busy.”

I look in his eyes and squint, “With what?”

“We need to christen more places in the house before wee Fergus makes that impossible.”

I laugh as he picks me up and moves me to the desk in the study. 

“I’ve wanted to take ye on this desk since the first moment we walked in this room.”

My giggles soon turn into moans as Jamie takes every piece of my soul.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all for the lovely comments. You motivate me to keep writing. Oh, the inspiration for Fergus' room came from my 10-year old brother's fascination with space. He has all of these things in his bedroom.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fergus comes home. End of chapter NSFW.

The day had finally arrived to bring Fergus home. It seemed like we had been waiting forever, but in actuality the process had gone much quicker than we expected. I’m antsy on the drive to Inverness but eager to begin the next part of the journey with Jamie.

As we pull into a parking space outside of the apartment building, I take Jamie’s hand. “How are you doing? Are you ready for this?”

“I’m more than ready to be a father to wee Fergus. How do ye feel?”

“I’m so excited, Jamie, but a little nervous. I hope I’ll be a good mother.”

Jamie leans over and places a gentle kiss on my lips. “The lad is truly blessed to have ye for his mother.”

I look into his blue eyes, and my doubt starts to fade. 

We walk hand in hand into the building. I nervously ring the doorbell, knowing what’s on the other side will change my life forever. 

I smile as the door flies open, and Fergus runs into my arms. Jamie wraps an arm around both of us as we hug our son. I ruffle his hair and say, “Sweetheart, we’re so happy we finally get to take you home.”

“Oui, Milady. I’m about ready to jump out of my skin.”

We enter the apartment and talk with Fergus’ caseworker, sign some paperwork, and let Fergus say his goodbyes to Miss Simmons and his foster brother and sister. Before we leave, I assure Miss Simmons we will keep in touch.

Fergus has a backpack, one box of toys, and two suitcases. I realize he already has more belongings at our house. After we settle in the car, I look back at Fergus with a huge smile. 

He peppers us with questions along the way. “What’s for dinner?”

“I’m cooking us steak out on the grill. Ye can help me.”

“Can we ride horses today? Can we go swimming? Can I go and see wee Jamie and Maggie?”

“Maybe tomorrow Fergus. We want to get you settled, but I’m sure you can help Jamie feed and water the horses.”

When we get to the house, we carry his belongings upstairs and set them down outside his room. 

“Are ye ready to see yer room?”

Fergus jumps up and down. “Beyond ready.”

I open the door, and Fergus runs in. He looks at the posters first and then shouts “Wow” when he sees the planets on the ceiling. He names them all for us. He climbs up on his bunk bed and looks at the portholes with images of space and exclaims, “When I wake up, I’ll think I’m on the space shuttle.”

I start to put away his clothes, and Jamie shows him a few other things we purchased. “Fergus, we bought ye a replica of the space shuttle, and this here is an authentic piece of a meteor.”

“This is so cool.” He hugs Jamie and says, Thank you.”

I walk over to the bookshelf and pull off a stack of Smithsonian books to show Fergus. They cover space, science, the human body, history, and general knowledge.

I’m tickled to see Fergus’ look of astonishment as he takes the space book and thumbs through it. He sets down the book and hugs me around my waist. “Thank you, Milady. I can’t wait to read them.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart. I’m looking forward to hearing all the new things you can teach us.”

Jamie looks at us with a huge grin. “There’s one more thing to show ye, but ye have to come upstairs to see it.”

Jamie looks to me, and I wave, letting him know he can show Fergus our last surprise.

As I finish putting Fergus’ toys and other books away, I hear little feet running down the stairs and into the room.

“Milady, Jamie says he will teach me about the stars tonight, and I can get a good look at the moon through my new telescope.”

“That sounds like fun.” Jamie comes into the room and tugs us both into a hug and pulls out his phone. “Let’s take a photo to memorialize our first day as a family.”

We all smile and say “cheese” as Jamie snaps the photo. He sends it to Jenny as I walk Fergus downstairs. 

Fergus helps Jamie cook the steak and vegetables while I set the table. Once everything is served, we dig into our meal.

In between bites, I smile at Fergus. “We have an appointment at your new school on Monday morning. They will give us a tour, and you will be able to meet your teacher.”

Fergus swallows his food and squints his eyes at me. “When do I start school?”

“Schools starts the following Monday, so you have one more week to enjoy your summer vacation. I’m taking Monday off but Tuesday through Friday, you’ll spend at Lallybroch with the kids and your aunt Jenny.”

Fergus looks at Jamie. “Will you come to the school with us?”

“Aye, lad. I’ll come to the meeting but then will have to get back to work.”

Fergus smiles and goes back to eating his food.

“Fergus, we want to talk with you about what you want to call us now that we are your parents.”

Fergus responds, “What do you mean, call you?”

“Well, would you want to call us something different than Milady and Jamie?”

With his mouth full of food, he says, “Like what?”

I look to Jamie since Fergus seems confused. “Lad, we wondered if ye might want to call us Mum and Dad or perhaps something else now that we’re your parents.”

He looks from Jamie to me with a perplexed look on his face. “I didn’t know I could call you something else. Milady has always been Milady since I met her. What if I have to move away to another foster home?”

My heart aches at the worried look on his face. “Fergus, we never want you to leave.”

“Milady, I don’t think they care what we want. Sometimes they make me leave for no reason.”

I take Fergus’ hand. “We’re planning to adopt you. They require us to be foster parents first and wait six months to make sure the arrangement works for everyone, but we have no doubt it will.”

Jamie takes Fergus’ other hand, and he reaches to take my free hand. “Fergus, we want to be yer parents for the rest of our lives.”

I see a tear slip down Fergus’ cheek, and I release his hand to wipe it away, but others soon join them. I hug Fergus to my chest as he cries. I look at Jamie and am not sure whether these are tears of joy or sorrow. Jamie pulls himself into the hug, so Fergus is surrounded.

Fergus finally stops crying, but he still has a tight grip around me. I run my hand through his hair and whisper, “Fergus, does that scare you?”

He pulls away to look in my eyes. “No. I never thought anyone would want to be my real parents.”

Tears start to flow down my cheek and I see Jamie’s eyes are watery.

“Claire and I want nothing more than for ye to be our son. We don’t want ye to worry about them taking you away. They know we want to adopt ye at the end of six months.”

We all take napkins and wipe our eyes. We head into the kitchen and put our plates and glasses in the sink.

Jamie goes to the freezer and pulls out some chocolate ice cream. “How about we all change into our pajamas and make some sundaes and settle in to watch _The Lego Movie 2_.”

I follow Fergus to his room and point out his new clothes. He’s excited when he sees Darth Vader pajamas that Jamie picked out for him. 

“I’ve never seen this movie, but I really want to.”

When Jamie finds out Fergus has never seen _Star Wars_ , we decide to watch the movies the following day. 

When the _Lego_ movie is over, we walk Fergus to his room. He climbs into bed, and Jamie and I give him a kiss goodnight. As we turn to leave, Fergus says, “Goodnight, Mum and Da.”

We turn, and Jamie says, “Mac oidhche mhath. That means good night son in Gaelic.”

“Night sweetheart.”

As we close the door, I put my arms around Jamie and give him a tender kiss. I whisper, “I love you, Jamie Fraser.”

“I love ye more, Sassenach.”

______________

On Sunday, we spend hours watching movies. After the _Empire Strikes Back_ , Jamie takes Fergus over to Lallybroch to rummage through the attic and find his old toys. 

They come home with dozens of Star Wars action figures, the Millennium Falcon and X-Wing Fighter. He also has comic books, GI Joe, and He-Man and the Grey Skull Castle. 

Jamie and Fergus were talking a mile a minute over their finds. Jamie says, “There are a lot more boxes we did not get through.”

“Oui, Da said we could go back over another time and look through everything. Can we take this up to my room?”

I laugh as Jamie and Fergus carry their treasures upstairs. An hour later, I find them both playing on the rug in Fergus’ room. Jamie is manning the Imperial Guard while Fergus has Yoda teaching Luke how to be a Jedi.

Fergus picks up an Ewok and asks, “Who’s this?”

Jamie responds, “We’ll need to watch _Return of the Jedi_ for ye to find out.”

Jamie sees me and smiles. “Come on, boys, let’s go eat some dinner.

During dinner, Fergus asks, “Milady, I mean, Mum, can we read my space book tonight. There may be some words I need some help with.”

I smile, knowing he probably doesn’t need my help. “I’d love that.” 

“Da, before I have to go to bed, maybe we can look at the stars.”

Jamie nods as he finishes his bite of spaghetti.

Later that night, after Fergus showers, he reads to me. I have my arm around him, and my hand absently plays with his curls. 

“Wow, the international space station is as big as a soccer field and weighs 450 tons. It says here it circles the earth every 90 minutes and can be seen with the naked eye.”

Just then, Jamie comes upstairs, and Fergus asks, “Da, can we use the telescope to find the space station?”

Jamie looks up some information on his phone. “Fergus, there is a site called ‘Spot the Station.’ We have to do it at specific times. We can’t view it tonight, but I’ve signed up for alerts that will tell me the viewing window for our location.”

I offer a suggestion. “Why don’t you look for the constellations instead.”

Jamie pulls up his app that has info on the night sky. In the next 30 minutes, they locate the major constellations. Fergus says, “Da, you’re the Big Dipper or the ‘Great Bear,' I’m the Little Dipper, or the ‘Little Bear' and Mum is Taurus, the ‘Bull’”

“Why am I the Bull?”

Fergus looks at me and says, “Because you’re the strongest person I know.”

I kiss Fergus’ cheek. “Aw, you’re such a kind lad.”

“Aye, plus Sassenach, you’re stubborn as a bull as well.”

I slap Jamie on his arm.

Jamie whispers in my ear, “And one day, Sassenach, we may have Gemini, the ‘Twins.’”

That brought my mind to something I learned in reading my uncle’s journals, and after Fergus is in bed, I mention it to Jamie. “Remember when I told you my Uncle Lamb was my Dad’s twin brother?”

“Aye, ye ken it skips a generation so we may get lucky.”

I frown. “Today, when I was reading his journal, it mentioned that they were triplets. His sister was stillborn. That’s so sad to think my grandmother lost her baby.”

“That is sad, but at least she got to raise her boys. That had to provide her some comfort.”

I shake my head. “I can’t imagine the grief of losing a child. I would have loved to have an aunt. My mother was an only child, so Lamb was all I had after I lost my parents.”

Jamie leans in and kisses my temple. “I have an Aunt Jocasta, and she can be your aunt too. You’re also welcome to my Uncle Dougal, but no sure ye want him.”

I smile. “Your Aunt is in North Carolina, right?”

“Aye, next time we’re in America, we’ll have to visit. She does no travel that much anymore.”

_________

The following morning, we’re rushing to get Fergus up in time to visit his new school. We need to be better with our time management now that we’re responsible for a child.

As we walk into the building, Fergus grabs my hand. I can tell he’s nervous, so I give it a gentle squeeze.

We tour the school, and Fergus is in love with his teacher, Miss Taylor, when he sets eyes on her. I see a twinkle in Jamie’s eyes and when Miss Taylor turns, he gazes a little too long at her backside. I elbow him in the stomach.

He whispers, “Dinna fash, Sassenach. Ye’re the only woman I’ll ever need.”

Fergus excitedly talks about the playground, the library, and the science room on the car ride home.

Jamie goes back to the office, and I make Fergus some eggs since we skipped breakfast. After he finishes, we go shop for school supplies.

Fergus is sad when I tell him he still needs to sit in the back since he’s not old enough to sit upfront with me. “You have to be 11 years old and taller than 4 ft 5 inches to sit up front.”

“Hmmm. My birthday’s in six months, but I need to grow 3 inches. Is that possible?”

“It’s different for everyone. Kids average 2.5 inches per year.”

“Well, I guess in the meantime, you’ll have to be my chauffeur. I could get used to that.” He giggles, and I smile as I look fondly at my boy in the mirror. 

We buy all of his school supplies and some tennis shoes and hiking boots. We stop off to purchase his school uniform, consisting of a blue sweatshirt or hoodie worn over a red polo shirt, and dark trousers. Fergus is not happy when he hears the school does not allow jeans.

When we arrive home, he asks me to play some football. We unload our packages and spend an hour running around the yard. 

I ask, “Fergus, do you want to play football or another sport?”

“I’ve always wanted to learn karate. Can I do that?”

“Of course. We’ll do some research on where you can take lessons.”

That evening while Jamie and I are watching TV, we discuss various activities for Fergus.

“Jenny has wee Jamie in horse riding lessons. Fergus may want to do that as well.”

“I bet he would. I would love for him to play an instrument. I always enjoyed the piano.”

“Aye. I never played anything myself since I was focused on sports, but we should ask him what he wants to do.”

“I was also thinking. Next year, if he’s still interested in space, we could see about him going to Space Camp in America. I was looking at it online, and it runs over a week, and we could make it a family vacation and have time for ourselves while he’s at camp.”

The next morning, we talk with Fergus about his interests. He’s excited to take riding lessons and agrees to give the piano a try. 

I drop Fergus off at Lallybroch and head into the office for a busy day full of acupuncture appointments and nutritional counseling. Jamie finishes before me, so he picks up Fergus.

When I finish work, Jamie has cooked dinner, and Fergus is excited to tell me about his day. 

“Jenny said Fergus was a big help to her in the greenhouse and keeping Maggie from underfoot.”

I run my fingers through Fergus’ hair. “That’s my sweet boy.” 

He shyly smiles. “I want to make sure I’m not too much work for Aunt Jenny. I don’t mind playing with the bairns.”

I laugh, thinking that Fergus is a bairn to us. I tell the boys I will clean up since they made the meal. Jamie tells Fergus that he received an alert, and they can see the space station in 30 minutes. They run up the stairs to start their nightly stargazing.

_____________

The following morning, I wake up feeling poorly. I have a high fever, and Jamie tells me to stay in bed while he gets Fergus to Lallybroch. I decided to heed his warning since I feel terrible.

I feel a hand wiping my brow, and I struggle to wake up. As my eyes open, I see Jamie through the haze, and he helps me sit up.

“Sassenach, let me examine you.”

“Jamie, I’m fine. You can go back to work. I just need to sleep this off.”

“No can do, Claire. I’m going to check ye out whether ye like it or not.”

He called me ‘Claire’ so he must mean business. I resign myself to his examination and wish I felt well enough to enjoy his ministrations. He finds the glands in my neck are swollen, so I am fighting some infection, but it’s undetermined at this time since my throat and ears are clear. He prescribes antibiotics and will return shortly to give me my first dose. 

I fall back asleep quickly, and soon enough, Jamie is rustling me awake. I groan. “Jamie, please let me sleep.”

“I will once you take your medicine.”

He gives me a pill and some water, and I struggle to swallow. I must be dehydrated. He leaves me some Gatorade and tells me to drink. 

The next time I’m lucid, I hear Fergus by my bed asking me if I can eat some dinner. _Oh, God. I’ve slept the day away._ “Sweetheart, Mummy is not hungry now but thank you for checking on me.”

I feel him kiss my forehead and leave the room. Next thing I know, Jamie is sitting me up and telling me to eat. My eyes reluctantly open and whine, “Jamie. Please leave me be.”

“Claire, yer worse than a bairn. Just take yer medicine and a few bites of this soup.”

I begrudgingly do as I’m told, and I see Jamie smirking. I want to slap him, but I have no energy. He finally removes the bowl and tells me to drink all of the water he’s given me. 

“I’ll wait for ye lass until ye finish the last drop.”

I gulp down the water and throw the bottle at him. His reflexes are quick, and he catches it before it hits the floor.

“Sorry, Jamie. I feel like shite.”

He smooths his hands over my sweaty brow and kisses my nose. “I ken lass. Now ye can sleep.”

Before he leaves, I tell him, “Let Fergus know I’m ok and that I love him.”

He smiles, “I will.”

“Jamie.”

“Aye.”

“I love you too.”

He says something, but I cannot hear it since my brain has given in to sleep.

The next morning, I’m feeling better, but I wake to an empty bed and see the time is 11 am. I gather Jamie took Fergus to Lallybroch, and he is working. I’m worried about all of the patients that had to be rescheduled.

I get out of bed and am hit by a wave of dizziness. I take a few breaths to clear my mind. _What the hell has made me so sick?_

I decide to lay in bed for a little while longer. I find myself dozing again, and I’m roused for lunch by Jamie.

“How are ye feeling Sassenach?’

“Better, Jamie. Help me get up, and I can shower and come into work.”

“Lass, yer not going anywhere in yer condition.”

“Come on, Jamie. I don’t want to disappoint patients.”

“Listen, all of yer patients have been rescheduled. Ye need to let me take care of ye.”

I begin to cry. 

“Hush, leannan. Tell me what’s wrong?”

“I feel like I’m letting you, Fergus, and my patients down.”

“Dinna fash. Ye’re doing no such thing. Here, take yer next pill, and I’ll get ye some lunch. How about some grilled cheese and tomato soup?”

“That sounds good, Jamie. But help me get to the bathroom first.”

He helps me into the bathroom and turns to give me some privacy. He assists me in changing my pajamas and gives me the remote so I can watch some TV.

As I catch up on the news, Jamie sets down a tray. I smile and think about how lucky I am.

He lays down by me as we both eat our sandwiches. He makes sure I finish my soup before he kisses me goodbye. 

That evening I feel well enough to take a shower and for Fergus to read me his book on space.

I take off the following morning but return to the office to see patients in the afternoon. I’m still tired, but happy it’s Friday so I can spend time with my boys.

Jamie and I lay in bed after we say our goodnights to Fergus.

I snuggle into his chest. “Thank you, darling, for taking such good care of me. I’m sorry if I was grumpy.”

He kisses my lips. “It was no bother. Ye’re my life, and I would do anything for ye, mo ghràidh.”

“I would love to have a bath to wash this week away.” I raise my eyebrows, “Care to join me?”

Jamie nods and goes to start running the water. I finish my glass of wine. “Jamie, use my lavender bubble bath.” I slowly pull off my clothes as I enter the bathroom and stand naked in front of Jamie. 

I whisper in his ear, “Bolt the door.”

He laughs and runs to lock the door. I figure Fergus would knock if he needed anything, but I felt safer with the lock so I could ravage my husband.

Jamie steps into the bubbles and leans back in the large tub. He raises his hand to help me. I see his eyes run over my body as I tentatively touch the hot water.

I sit down and lean against his chest as the tension leaves my body. Jamie massages my arms and keeps things chaste as we luxuriate in the water.

I’m being lulled to sleep by Jamie’s breathing but awake when I feel him kissing down my neck. I rub my nails over his thighs, and he groans. I can feel his hard length behind me, and I moan when his fingers tease my nipples.

My eyes close as his hand runs down to toy with my navel. I widen my legs in anticipation as he nibbles on my ear. I shiver as his fingers slide through my folds, teasing my clit a few times before his fingers toy with my entrance. “Ahhh, Jamie.”

He rubs my clit with his thumb as I gyrate my hips as he slides two fingers slowly in and out of me. My back moves against his length, and he moans, “Sassenach.”

“Faster, Jamie. Mmmmm. I need you to ...”

He answers my plea, and I shatter as I contract around his fingers.

I’m breathless as he rises with me in his arms. He steps out of the tub and gently places me down and towels me dry. I see his length bobbing, and I take him in my hand, and he grabs me behind the neck and pulls me into a passionate kiss. I stand on my tiptoes and rub his length against my clit and moan into his mouth.

“Sassenach, let me love you.” I quickly turnaround in his arms to face the full-length mirror. I catch Jamie’s eyes as I push my hips back against him, feeling the heat of his body and his hard length. His hands move from my hips to my breasts. He gives them a hard squeeze as I moan and rub against him. 

Slowly, he moves one hand down my stomach, teasing me as we watch each other in the mirror. Before he reaches my core, I smirk and cross my legs to deny entry. I turn my head and run my tongue over his lips. His hand leaves my breast and grabs my hair. He pulls back, and a soft moan escapes as I feel his tongue trace a path over my neck to my mouth. Jamie bites my bottom lip, releasing it to devour me.

I smile against Jamie’s lips when he pulls my crossed legs apart and positions his cock to slide between my wet thighs. The sensation has me trembling. Jamie whispers in my ear, “Yer so wet fer me, Sassenach. Do you like the feel of my cock?”

I squeeze my legs together in response, feeling him twitch against me. He slides his hands sensuously down my body to pull my lower lips apart. Jamie moans when he looks in the mirror and sees how swollen I am. My ribs are rising and falling as I take it all in. It’s so erotic to watch him move against me, the tip of his cock peeking out through my legs before it starts the delicious slide backward. “Oh, God, Jamie.” I begin to pant loudly, and he places his hand over my mouth to quiet me. I bite him as he moves faster. He silences my scream as I shatter against him. 

I bend over against the mirror to steady myself. As I take a deep breath in, I feel Jamie enter me in one stroke. My mouth opens, but no sound travels. He pulls me up as he begins to pound roughly against me. All I hear is harsh breaths behind me and the slapping of our skin. 

Again, we both stare in the mirror, watching my breasts bounce. I can’t feel anything but deep strokes slowly driving me insane. I grab onto Jamie’s hands that are tightly wrapped around my hips. “Fuck, Jamie.”

He thrusts harder, setting a rhythm that turns me into a wild animal, thrashing and pushing back onto his cock. “Mmmmm, Jamie. Right there. Oh, God.” With a guttural groan, my back arches as I come hard, milking his cock. Jamie groans and I feel the warmth as he spurts inside me. I continue to grind against him and reach back and squeeze his balls, feeling the last of his release deep inside me. “A Dhia.” 

We both stand, and Jamie lazily circles my nipple while he looks at me in the mirror. I continue to struggle for breath as I look gratefully in his eyes. Jamie places gentle kisses on my neck. I turn and gasp when he slips out of me. Kissing his chest, I whisper, “I love you, Jamie.” He kisses my head, “Tha gaol agam ort, Sassenach.”

I feel the stickiness between us. “Looks like we need a shower.”

“Ye go first. I need to catch my breath.”

When I finish my shower, I find Jamie asleep. I snuggle into him and pull the blankets over us. I lean over and kiss him as I silently thank God for bringing this man into my life. I’m also grateful Fergus’ bedroom is the furthest one from our room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who continues to read this story. I appreciate all of the wonderful feedback.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here I give you 2 chapters in one. A big thanks to everyone who gave my first fanfic a chance. Fergus starts school, J/C celebrate their 6 month anniversary and their relationship continues to grow stronger.

Fergus' first day of school is upon us. He’s awake before we are and is sitting at the kitchen table, tapping his fingers nervously. 

I kiss his brown curls. “Sweetheart, what do you want to eat.”

“Not hungry.”

I sit down and place my hand over his. “It’s normal to be nervous about starting a new school.”

He looks down, and I put my hand under his chin and lift his eyes to meet mine. “I promise you will make new friends today and remember how excited you were with the science room?”

He nods as I continue, “Just take a deep breath and tell yourself you’re going to have a good day. Keep saying it over and over, and soon your brain will calm, and you’ll believe it.”

Fergus smiles and says, “I’m going to have a good day. I’m going to have a good day.” 

Jamie shuffles in. “Morning, Lad. Ye ready to have some fun at school today?”

“Oui.” He looks at me. “I’m going to have a good day.”

Fergus drinks some milk, but he’s still too nervous to eat.

On the drive to school, I can still see the terror in his eyes. "Sweetheart, this is a fresh start for you, and Miss Taylor will help you settle in."

"What if the other kids hate me?"

"Oh, Fergus. No one could hate you."

"Harris bullied me, and I never did a mean thing to him."

I look in the rearview mirror and see tears in his eyes. "Well, if anyone bullies you at this school, you're to tell your teacher and me and your Dad. You heard Miss Taylor when we visited; this school does not tolerate bullies. She also said two other kids in your class were new. So, you're not the only one."

I get out and offer to walk him in. "Mum, I should go by myself, or they'll think I'm a sissy."

I lean down and kiss him. "Ok, sweetheart. You have a good day, and if anything happens, you can use the cell phone. I gave you to call your Dad or me."

He forces a smile and heads into the building. Before he crosses the threshold, he turns back, and I give him a small wave. _Oh God, please let him have a good day._

I'm running behind, so I park the car and rush into the office. Jamie catches me in the breakroom, getting coffee. "How'd it go with the drop-off?"

I grimace. "Fergus was a wreck, and so am I."

He kisses me and rubs my back. "He'll be fine."

I'm a bit distracted as we go through the day, but thankfully Fergus does not call. We planned for him to take the bus home, and he was to come to the office straight away. I start to watch the clock at 3 pm, knowing he should be arriving in the next 15 minutes.

At 3:20 pm, I start to worry. I walk out of the office and am relieved to see Fergus coming up the drive. He runs towards me with a smile on his face and gives me a tight hug.

"How was your day?"

He gives me a rapid-fire response. "It was grand. I made friends and was invited to play football at recess. I had pizza for lunch with chocolate pudding. I'm excited about my science class. I get to do a project this year and can enter it in the science fair. I want to do something about space."

I laugh and kiss his head. "I'm so happy you had a good day. Let's tell your Dad. He has a break before his next patient."

Fergus and I walk into the office, and Mrs. Graham greets him warmly. We find Jamie at his desk, and he beams when he sees Fergus.

"Da, we need to find a project for the science fair."

He smiles. "Sounds like fun. When is it due?"

"End of October."

Jamie and I laugh. "We have plenty of time, lad. I ken, we will find a good project for ye."

Fergus fills Jamie in on the rest of his day. We leave when Jamie has to see his next patient. I fix Fergus a snack of apples and peanut butter. He's excited to show me all of his workbooks. "I don't have any homework today. Teacher said we would take it easy this first week."

After dinner, I hear Jamie on the phone with Jenny. He's asking her if Fergus can sleepover on Saturday. I come in as he says goodbye.

"What was that about?"

He pulls me into a hug. "This Saturday is our six-month anniversary, and I want to spend the day and night with ye."

I grasp his arms and whisper in his ear, "It's been the best six months of my life."

He kisses me, and we have to stop when we hear giggling from Fergus.

"You two need to get a room."

I'm shocked, and Jamie just laughs. "Fergus, how would ye like to spend the night with yer cousins on Saturday?"

"That sounds like fun. I start my riding lessons that day, right?"

"Aye, yer Aunt Jenny will take you and wee Jamie for yer lesson."

"Jamie, what are you planning?"

"It's a surprise. Remember how much ye liked our first date."

I smile, remembering that day. I can't believe on our first date I couldn't see this beautiful man. 

"Mmmmm. You can never top that one."

He notices that Fergus left the room, so he kisses my neck and whispers in my ear, "Oh, believe me, Sassenach. I'm going to top it."

He smacks my bum as he walks out of the room. I need to think about something I can do for Jamie. He can't be the only romantic one in this relationship. _Maybe I will buy some new negligée or something that will spice up our evening._

_____________

On Tuesday, Jamie picks Fergus up after school to take him to his first Jui-Jitsu lesson. This dojo does not take kids younger than ten, so Fergus will not feel out of place in the beginner class. The instructor tells Jamie that Fergus will learn the most important aspects of Jiu-Jitsu; warm-ups, learning to roll, break-fall, drills, self-defense, and ground grappling.

After an hour, Fergus is sweaty, and Jamie is one proud father. "Ye did great, Fergus."

Fergus blushes. "Thanks, Da, for signing me up. I love martial arts."

Jamie pats his son on the back. "Wonderful. I think it will be good for ye to know how to defend yerself."

They arrive home with fish and chips in hand. Claire has a late massage appointment and will not be home for another hour. Father and son eat their food, replaying all the moves that Fergus learned today.

Jamie sends Fergus up to shower, and minutes later, Claire walks in the door. 

She marches straight to Jamie and gives him a lingering kiss that he passionately returns. Breathlessly, she whispers, "Hello, darling."

Jamie's hands rub up the length of her back. "Hi, Sassenach. Ye smell good."

She waves her hands in front of his face. "Massage oils. I smell something good as well. Could that be fish and chips?"

Jamie pulls her food that was warming in the oven. Claire inhales her meal. "How was Fergus in class?"

"He was braw. He loved wrestling with the other kids."

Claire laughs as she shoves another chip in her mouth. "Geillis and I are going shopping tomorrow after work. Can you take care of Fergus?"

"Aye. What are ye lasses shopping for."

Wiping her mouth with a napkin, "That's a surprise."

Jamie squints his eyes as he smirks at the beautiful woman before him. He kisses her hand and says, "Fine, lass. I have my surprises for ye on Saturday as well." 

Fergus enters the kitchen in his NASA pajamas and wet hair. He goes over to Claire and kisses her cheek. "Hi Mum, did ya have a good day?"

"Yes, sweet boy. Your father told me how well you did in class. I'm proud of you."

"Oui, it was so much fun. Can you come next time?"

Claire rubs her son's back. "Of course, I can't wait to see your moves."

"Mum. Can we play some checkers before bed?"

"Sure, sweetheart. Go set it up, and I’ll change."

Jamie excuses himself to check on the horses.

By the time Jamie comes back to the house, Fergus has beaten Claire three games to one.

"Time for bed, Fergus." He groans and says he's too tired to walk upstairs.

Jamie crouches and says, "Jump on my back, and I'll give ye a ride."

Fergus wraps his arms around Jamie's neck, and they laugh as they go upstairs. 

Claire cleans up the kitchen and locks up the house. She meets Jamie on the stairs.

"I'm going to go shower and go to bed early. I've been so tired today."

Jamie feels Claire’s forehead and smiles when he feels it cool to the touch. "You feeling ok, otherwise?"

She leans in and kisses him tenderly. "Yes, darling. I'm just sleepy."

Jamie takes her hand and walks up the stairs with her. He reads in bed so he can watch her sleep.

____________

I wake up refreshed and feeling warm arms wrapped around my stomach. I turn around and run my tongue over Jamie's lips. He sighs in his sleep, and his smile widens. I kiss around his lips as he slowly wakes and returns my kiss.

"Morning Sassenach. How are ye feeling?"

"Good." I frown when I see the clock and know I have to get Fergus up for school.

I turn to slide out of bed, and Jamie holds me tight in his arms as he kisses my neck. I moan, "Jamie; we don't have time. Raincheck?"

"Mmmm. I'll hold you to that Sassenach." He runs his fingers beneath my sleep shorts so he can squeeze my arse and rub me against him.

My leg goes over his hip as I roll him over and give him a breathless kiss. As I slide off him, I rub against his length, and he groans. 

I look back at Jamie and smirk as he gets out of bed with a painful erection. "Claire, why'd ye stir me up if we can't do anything?"

"Darling, I just kissed you, and you just had to touch me."

"How do you expect me not to touch ye? Just look at yerself."

I laugh and quickly dress and go wake, Fergus. 

Fergus and I are eating breakfast when Jamie comes into the kitchen. I suspect he took care of himself in the shower, and I’m a bit jealous. 

Fergus asks to take the bus to and from school, so we bid him adieu at our office door. 

I work until 4 pm and then head out to meet Geillis at the _Rouge Boutique_. 

When I get out of my car, I immediately spot Geillis’ vibrant red hair. She runs to embrace me. "Oh, Claire, it's been far too long."

"It has. Thanks so much for meeting me here. I need your advice on what to wear to my six-month anniversary outing with Jamie."

"Knowing the big Ginger, he’ll have something romantic for his Sassenach. You'll just have to end the evening with a bang."

I blush but nod vigorously. 

We go into the store, and I thumb through the rack of dresses while Geillis visits the lingerie section. I find a lovely dark blue dress, and here Geillis shout, "Hen, come over and look at some options."

I walk over, and Geillis holds up each option. The first two are crotch-less, and I nix them. The second two are sexy, so I agree to try them on. 

I come out and show Geillis the dress. "Very nice. Jamie will love it. Now let me see the lingerie."

"Geil, I like the second one with the black and pastel pink wired bra and garter belt. I am not doing a fashion show for you in my underwear." 

"Yer no fun. I've seen ye naked plenty of times."

"Yea, but this is for Jamie's eyes only."

"Hen, I'm sure his eyes will be bugging out of his head."

I round out my order with some Burberry suede wedge sandals and a Charlotte Olympia Peacock Pandora Clutch. Good thing I have my inheritance money because the bill causes me a minor heart attack.

Geillis and I grab an early dinner before we part ways.

"Geil, how is it going living with Dougal."

"Well, the sex is great as always." I roll my eyes as she continues. "He is a bit of a slob and expects me to cook and clean for him. I quickly broke him of that idea, so we hired a housekeeper."

I laugh and say, "I wish we had a housekeeper. The house is a lot of work, but at least Jamie and I split everything fifty-fifty, and Fergus helps."

We talk about work, and Geillis tells me she is interested in leaving the apothecary and starting to practice, but she’s unsure if she will like it.

“Geil, you should come and work a day a week with us. That way, you can see if its right for you. Our business is picking up, so we could use the help.”

“Oh, Claire. I would love that. Let me talk with my boss, and we can chat about when I can start.”

Geillis takes a sip of her ice tea and changes the subject. "How does it feel being someone's mother?"

I picture my beautiful boy as I answer. "It's wonderful. Fergus is a doll, and I just love that he's so happy. The first week of school is going well."

"I'm glad to hear it. Fergus deserves the best. So, has he put a cramp in yer sex life with Big Ginger?"

"Gawd, Geil. Could you say that any louder?" I look around. Geillis shakes my arm, "Well, has he?"

"No, we've found our way to keeping the PDA tame while he’s around. The kid giggles his head off when he sees us kissing or holding hands."

"You'll have the house to yerselves on Saturday. Any thoughts on where ye want to do it?"

"Geez, Geil. You have a one-track mind. We don't need to pre-plan those things. It will just happen."

"I'm sure it will. I'm planning to take Dougal tonight in our downstairs closet. I'm working my way through every place in the house."

"I don’t need to hear that but do try and go easy on the old man. You don't want to break him like you did two weeks ago."

"Oh, Claire. I didn't break it. It was just bruised a bit."

I laugh and shake my head. We reluctantly part ways with a big hug, and Geillis tells me to let her know how it goes on Saturday. I know that's code for wanting to know how good the sex is. I know beyond a doubt, it will be unbelievable. 

**_________________**

I wake up on Saturday and am startled to see it's 10 am. I look around the house, and it's empty. Jamie must have taken Fergus to his riding lesson. I open the fridge and peruse some breakfast options, but my stomach is feeling queasy, so I decide to take a long hot shower instead.

Not knowing what's in store for the day, I don my robe and wait for Jamie to fill me in on what our adventure will involve. I'm sure it will be outdoors, and it's a bit nippy outside. I read the paper while I eat a plain bagel to try and calm my stomach. _Please don't get sick today and ruin Jamie's plans!_

I hear the door open and in floats Jamie in jeans, a black turtleneck, and a sexy tan leather jacket. 

"Hi, babe. Why didn't you wake me this morning?"

He comes and kisses me. "Happy anniversary, Sassenach. I wanted ye to be well-rested for the day ahead."

I kiss him and wrap my arms around his neck. "Happy anniversary, darling. What have you planned for us today?"

"That's a surprise." I roll my eyes. "You should dress warmly, though, since we'll be outside. This evening I’ll take ye out to dinner, but we can come back to the house and change beforehand."

"You and your surprises, Fraser."

He smacks my bum. "Now, get moving, so we can enjoy our day."

I run upstairs. My nausea has disappeared, replaced with a growing excitement over spending the day and night with Jamie. I put on jeans, a warm red sweater, and my brown boots. 

At the bottom of the stairs, I find Jamie. The first thing he notices is my Braille necklace. He takes hold of the pendant and runs his fingers over the raised dots. “I remember the day I found this for ye.”

I smile, “I always meant to ask you about that.”

He runs his hand on my cheek, and I see tears swimming in his eyes. Needing to feel grounded, my hands grab onto his waist. I lean in and kiss his lips tenderly, willing him to tell his story.

His thumb caresses my cheek. “There was a jewelry store close to the hospital. I heard they made special gifts for the blind. I visited the day you came out of surgery.”

He swallows, needing to pause to collect his thoughts. “I wanted to give it to you right away, but something told me to wait.” He shakes his head at the question in my eyes, “Not because I didn’t love ye, but I wanted to find the right time. I was afraid I might drive you away.”

I let out a sigh remembering how I ran away from him.

“Jamie, when you gave me that letter, I felt so lost. I wanted you in my life so much, but I didn’t feel worthy of you.”

He starts to respond, and I place my finger over his mouth, and tears flow down my face. With a shaky voice, I continue, “I think it was fate that led me to you. I also think what happened to us was meant to be. The surgery was supposed to fail. I was destined to leave you in Boston, and it was inevitable that I opened your letter when I did because it was the right time for me to hear your words.” I laugh, “I mean, feel your words.”

Jamie clears his throat as his tears begin to drop. “Falling in love with you, Jamie was pre-ordained. Us having our accident had to happen.” I place my hand on his chest. “I don’t think our love would be this strong if we hadn’t overcome what we did to be together.”

I wipe Jamie’s tears away with my fingers. He takes my hand in his. “Sorcha, every day, I find myself loving you more than the day before. You honor me with your words, and I promise to honor you for the rest of my days.”

He slides his arm around my waist as my lips brush across his, pulling him to me, then slowly deepening the kiss. His tongue runs across my bottom lip, sucking it gently into his mouth. I moan softly and open my mouth for his tongue to slide inside. He groans as I softly suck his tongue, teasing it with mine. We slowly end the kiss. I rub my nose along his jaw up to his ear. I whisper, “Thank you for loving me.”

He squeezes me tightly and leans his forehead into my neck. I feel him shudder, and I rub his back as our emotions flow out of our bodies. 

We finally break apart, and he holds out his hand. “Are ye ready, mo ghraidh?”

I nod as I take his hand. He picks up a backpack as he leads me to the stables. I see Donas is already saddled. 

I look back at the stalls. "Where's Bonnie?"

"I took her over to Jenny's so the farrier could work on her hoof issue. I will pick her back up tomorrow. Are you good to ride with me?"

I kiss him. "It's my preferred way to ride." He smiles, and I put my foot in the stirrup and get up on Donas. "Do you want me in front of you or behind you?"

He looks up at me. "Sassenach. I'll take ye any way I can get ye."

I laugh and tell him to get in front of me since it will be more comfortable. After he's settled, I put my arms around him and rest my head on his back. 

We ride for an hour before we hit the river. Jamie gets off and helps me down and secures Donas. "Does this seem familiar to ye?"

I look around and shake my head. Jamie points across the river. "Over there is where we went swimming. See the fire pit where you touched my back. The first time I saw yer beautiful body.” He laughs, “In yer white see-through skivvies."

I groan. "That's the first time I felt,” my hands run down the bulge in his jeans, “you in your skivvies."

Jamie whispers in my ear, "If it weren't so cold, I'd strip ye naked and take ye right here."

His warm breath on my neck sends shivers down my spine. "Patience lad. Ye can do that tonight." I kiss him as my hands rub down his back and under his shirt, feeling the scars. I sigh, closing my eyes to listen to the running water and the beating of his heart. 

Jamie pulls us apart and takes my hand and leads me to a kayak. I smile as he hands me a life jacket. "Wow, Jamie. If we tip over, it's going to be freezing."

"Then, don't tip us over, lass."

I step in the kayak, and Jamie pushes it further in the water. He gets in, and now I understand why he is wearing knee-high boots. 

The boat shakes a bit as we find our balance. My heart is racing since I want to stay dry. We quickly find our rhythm. _We’ve always been so good at that._

I'm laughing as we go down small rapids. "Jamie, how will we get back to Donas?"

"Dinna fash. Ian is going to ride over and take him back to Lallybroch for the night."

I'm enjoying the scenery of the lovely Scottish countryside. I look back and see Jamie smiling at me with love in his eyes.

Jamie steers us toward the bank up ahead. He jumps out and pulls the kayak out of the water. Leaning in, he takes my hands and pulls me up into his arms.

We're both laughing. He puts me down, and I lean in to kiss him. Soon his tongue asks for entry, and I moan when I grant it. There's no fight for domination. I'm happy to let him take the lead.

When we finally come up for air, I'm a bit dizzy, so I hug him tightly until I get my legs back.

His warm hand takes mine, and he leads me to a small cabin. I see smoke billowing out of the chimney. Jamie explains that he and his father built this hunting cabin when he was 13 years old. Inside I find a double bunk bed, a wood stove, and a picnic table. 

Jamie unpacks his bag, which includes turkey sandwiches, apples, and bottles of water. We sit down and eat while I marvel at the cabin. "This place is so cozy. How often did you come here?"

We came during hunting season and when we needed a break from the womenfolk.

I smirk. "And where did Jenny go when she needed a break from the menfolk?"

"Oh, she would take a weekend at a spa."

“Sounds fair to me.” I could just imagine a teenage Jamie helping to fall trees, building memories with his father. "I bet Fergus would love to come here with you."

"Aye. I’ll plan a trip for the Spring. We can come by horseback or ATV from Lallybroch."

We spend an hour on the back porch of the cabin, looking at the lovely winding river. I breathe in the fresh air while Jamie keeps my back warm.

He finally pushes me to stand up.

"Where to next, my Laird?"

"Well, back to my kingdom, of course."

On the other side of the cabin, I see an ATV. Jamie hands me a helmet, and I take my place behind him. We speed through the forest and head towards Lallybroch. We come upon three deer running away from the noisy machine. I remember the wish I had when I was blind to move to the countryside. I squeeze my arms around Jamie. _Dreams really do come true._

We get to the house around 5 pm and are met by Fergus and wee Jamie. I give them both a hug and a kiss.

"How was your riding lesson?"

"It was so much fun. I can't wait for next week. I rode a pony that's much bigger than Scotty."

Jamie ruffles Fergus' hair, and the boys run ahead to the kitchen. Jamie gives me a cuddle and a quick kiss. He heads off to the barn when he spots Ian, and I go into the house to find Jenny.

"Claire, there ye are. Have ye enjoyed yer day so far?"

I hug Jenny. "It's been a wonderful day. Has Fergus behaved himself?"

"Aye, Fergus is a gem. I hope my bairns can learn from his good manners."

"Thank you for taking him today. He loves spending time over here."

"It's our pleasure, and one of these days, you can take mine so Ian and I can have a romantic getaway."

"That's a deal. We owe you a few of those already."

Jamie comes into the house and picks up Maggie, who was running down the hall. "Look at this wee beast I found."

"Auntie Claire. Save me."

Maggie reaches her arms towards me, and I take her from Jamie and swing her on my hip. "Hi, baby girl. How have you been?"

She smiles and says, "Good." I kiss her head and rock her as I see Jamie whispering to Jenny. "Sassenach, we best get going so we can change for dinner."

Fergus runs downstairs as I hand Maggie to her mother. I kiss Fergus goodbye, and Ian gives us a lift home.

As I exit the car, I say, "Thanks, Ian." I look back and see Jamie talking with Ian. 

I run up the stairs and disrobe and head into the shower. I finish before Jamie makes his way into the bathroom. I sit down to dry my hair and see Jamie pull off his clothes. I can't help but admire this beautiful specimen, and I'm excited for what comes after dinner. 

When Jamie gets out of the shower, I turn off my hairdryer. "How long before we leave?"

He looks at the clock and says, we have 30 minutes. I work on my make-up while Jamie dresses. He comes over and kisses me and says he has a few things to do before we leave.

Once he shuts the door, I take off my robe and put on my lingerie, taking delight in the feel of the lace garments against my skin. Easing my nylons up over the length of my legs is a simple matter. Fastening my rear garters is less so, requiring considerable twisting and turning. Once I’m done, I take a look at myself in the mirror. I can imagine Jamie running his hands all over me and have to temper my growing arousal. I slip on my blue dress and sit to pull on my heels. I take the price tag off my clutch and head downstairs. 

I admire Jamie’s suit that matches my blue dress. He looks incredibly handsome. Looking up the stairs, he smiles and whistles. He raises his hand, and I take it and swirl around. Kissing my check, he says, "You look gorgeous, Sassenach."

"And you look beyond scrumptious, Jamie Fraser." I kiss his lips, and he rubs his scruff against my jaw. I moan, “Thanks for not shaving.”

He opens the car door, and I step in. We drive to Inverness, and he valets the car at _Chez Rous_ , a French restaurant. 

After we are seated, and our order was taken, I run my fingers over Jamie's hand. "It means so much to me that you planned this day to remind us of our favorite experiences. That dinner at the French restaurant in Boston was the moment I fell in love with you."

He smiles and raises my hand to his mouth. "I knew I loved you the first moment I laid eyes on you, but that meal in Boston made me feel I had a chance at winning your heart."

I smile and blush as warm emotions for this man run through my body.

The food was served quickly. The cheese soufflé starter we both had was stunning; it melts in our mouths and tastes heavenly. Jamie has the venison loin main, which he claims was cooked to perfection, and I opt for the sweet red ravioli. 

I barely registered the taste of the fine food. I only have eyes for Jamie. When the server cleared our dishes and offers up dessert, Jamie asks for the check. His baby blue eyes met mine, and I smile at him and say, "I think we could have a better dessert at home, don't you think?"

"Aye, aye. I do."

Once the bill is settled, Jamie steers me to the car, and we speed home. I hold his hand on the drive. Once we’re in the house, I immediately wrap my arms around his neck and take his mouth in mine. I hear him groan when he pushes us apart. 

"I have one more wee surprise for ye. Follow me."

He takes my hand and leads me through the conservatory to outside. Fortunately, we have not removed our jackets, so we have some protection from the cold temperatures. I see lights in the distance around a table. 

Rose petals line the path to the lighted table that has a covered silver platter. There were torches by the table that heated the area. I silently wonder if Ian helped set this up. He pulls off our coats before we sit down. He uncovers our dessert and grabs a spoon to feed me a delicious strawberry torte.

“Mmmm. That’s delicious.”

He places a whole strawberry in my hand that still has the flower petal and stem attached. "It's a rare plant and the emblem for my clan," he says, touching the fruit. "Flowers, fruit and leaves all together at the one time. The white flowers are for honor, and red fruit for courage—and the green leaves are for constancy. And the fruit is the shape of a heart," he said softly and bent to kiss me.

He pushes out his chair and gets down on one knee. My free hand goes to my mouth as he pulls out a ring, "Will ye do me the honor and marry me, Sassenach, and join Clan Fraser?"

He places the ring in my hand as tears stream down my face. "Yes, Jamie." He pulls me into a kiss. When he pulls back, I inspect the ring. 

"There's an inscription, Jamie." I pull it closer, so I can make out the words.

Jamie whispers, "Da mi basia mille. Give me a thousand kisses."

I kiss his lips and say, "Dein mille altera. Then a thousand more."

He takes the ring and places it on my hand. He stands me up, and we share a multitude of kisses. 

Examining the ring on my finger, I look at Jamie. "It's so beautiful. This day has been so special. Thank you, my love."

He takes my hand and turns off the torches. Picking up our jackets, we make our way back to the house. 

We walk hand in hand up the stairs and into our bedroom. Jamie crowds in behind me and kisses my neck.

"I love you, mo nighean donn."

I turn around, and my hands caress his cheeks as I look into his eyes. "You've made me so happy, Jamie. I love you so much and can't wait to be your wife."

I push off his jacket and unbutton his shirt. His hand goes behind my back as I unzip his pants and unbuckle his belt. I stroke his length as he takes my mouth in a rough kiss.

He unzips me, and I step back as the dress falls, revealing my surprise for him. 

His eyes grow large as I twirl around. He groans when he sees the back of my thong and the garter belts. He steps forward and almost trips with the pants around his ankles. He finishes undressing and moves in on me. 

His hands run over the globes of my arse. I move my hand down to push his length to rub between my thighs. He groans as he feels the lace and my wetness on his sensitive skin. He bends down and sucks my nipple through the lace of my bra.

My hands go into his hair as he pushes me down on the bed. "God, Jamie." He kisses down my stomach, licking his tongue in my navel and over the lace of my garter belt. His hands are rubbing over the stockings on my thighs. Never quite reaching the place, I need him. "Please, Jamie."

“Ye know the first time I had ye, you were covered in lace.” I groan with the memory. He finally licks over the lace between my thighs and widens my legs. He sucks on my clit, and the sensation of his tongue and the rough lace has me coming in no time. I would have been embarrassed to come so quickly, but he moved my thong aside to run his tongue along my core. He's humming over my clit as he pushes his long fingers inside me. 

I pull on his hair, not knowing if I want him to stop or go harder. He took my action as a sign to continue. I scream as he curls his fingers, and I arch my back as he sucks my clit, and I ride his mouth. I squeeze my thighs around his ears as my body comes apart.

My breath is coming out in pants, and Jamie unwraps my thighs from his head. He slides up my body and kisses around my mouth as I come back to my senses. I grab his head and bite his chin as I slip my tongue in his mouth. I moan when I taste myself. 

Jamie flips us around, so I'm on top. I push myself further down his legs and run my tongue over his length from base to head. He arches into me and grabs my hair as I suck on him. "Sassenach, come here."

I raise up, and he pulls me against him and assaults my mouth with his own. I answer the fierceness of his kiss with the fire, which he had been stoking all night. I rub my soaked thong along his length. I gasp, "Do you like the feel of lace on your cock?” Jamie's length has pushed aside my thong and is rubbing against my clit. My hips move faster as I moan.

"No more teasing, Sassenach. I must have ye, or I'll die." He lifts my hips, and I position him as I slide down onto his cock. I immediately clench at the welcomed intrusions. Jamie shakes below me as he attempts to reign in his arousal. He shifts off the pillows and sits against the headboard. The movement widens my legs, and I sink further onto him.

I begin to move back and forth as I ride him. His hands are drawn to my arse. He pulls my cheeks apart as he pushes me against him. He bends his knees and starts to move with me. I scream his name as he goes from 0 to 100 without any pause. "Harder, Jamie."

He nips my neck and pulls me to his chest as he pounds into me. I put my hands on his chest and push myself up. He palms my breast while the other hand slides down to rub circles on my clit. My nails dig into his biceps as my mind starts to blank with the pleasure of the orgasm coursing through my veins. 

He never ceases but continues to thrusts into me, pushing my climax to its limit as I chant his name. He pushes me down, trapping his body against mine so he can feel every push of my pelvis, every strain of my thighs, every ripple of my back beneath his palm.

"You're unbelievable," Jamie whispers in my ear, teeth moving to graze my shoulder. I moan and rock back and forth, riding his erection, the flesh of his balls slapping noisily against my arse.

"Jamie, touch me?" I beg, guiding his hand to where our bodies are joined. He can feel my desperate need as I grip him firmly with my inner muscles, milking him as our bodies slide against one another, my juices running down my thighs.

I reach behind me and squeeze his balls, urging him to fuck me harder. He flips us over, pinning me beneath him, giving me everything he's got.

Our pants echo across the room as Jamie rides me hard. My eyes roll in the back of my head when his thick middle finger slides down to circle my clit. "Oh, shit, yes," I gasp, spreading my legs wider so I can feel every inch of him. "Mmmm, that's it. Oh God, Jamie, yes!" I arch violently off the bed, squeezing my eyes tightly, while I shudder, breaking around Jamie's cock and fingers.

He moves his hands to grip my shoulders as his thrusts become frenzied. "Ah Dhia," he cries out, grabbing me hard while he powers one last thrust into me. I feel him trembling as he groans my name and spills inside me. His body sags on top of me, his heart hammering against my chest.

He finally comes around and pulls us onto our sides. He kisses my shoulder. "You ok, Sassenach." 

I let out a huge sigh. "Mmmm. But I can't believe you left my underwear on the whole time."

He laughs. "The lace is so sexy on you, and it felt great against my cock."

I find the energy to push him on his back. I rub my hand over his sweaty chest. Feeling his heart rate returning to normal. I place a tender kiss on his lips. "Thank you for this unforgettable day, my love."

He runs his tongue along my lips and kisses me. "Thank you for saying yes and for,” he runs his hand along my garter belt, “this earth-shattering surprise." 

I giggle. "Sassenach, this lingerie is coming on the honeymoon."

"Oooh. Honeymoon. I like the sound of that."

I pull on his chest hairs and ask, "So, did they know you were popping the question?"

"Aye. I told Fergus this morning, and they all helped set up the backyard."

"God, Jamie. This day couldn't be more perfect."

"No Sassenach. We couldn't be more perfect."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your kind words keep the fire burning to write this version of J/C.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire freaks out. That's about all I can say.

Everyone is happy to hear the news of our engagement. Jamie and I have agreed that we want a small wedding at Lallybroch. We decide to get married after Christmas and to honeymoon on the Island of Skye. 

The weeks after the engagement, I’m feeling poorly again. I’ve tried all my herbal remedies to quell my nausea. 

Jamie has dropped Fergus off at his riding lesson and finds me in the kitchen, nibbling on some bread. He takes one look at my pale complexion and says, “Sassenach, ye sure ye don’t ken what ails ye?”

I stare at him with confusion behind my eyes. “Jamie, I think planning the wedding has me a bit stressed.”

He laughs. “Sassenach, don’t ye realize yer late?”

“Late for what?” _This man is making no sense to me._

“Yer courses, ye should have started two weeks ago.”

“What, how could you know that?”

“I keep track and yer late.”

My mind is racing to confirm whether he’s right. I feel bile in my throat, and I run to the kitchen sink and vomit.

Jamie rubs my back as I try to figure this out. “I’m on the pill. I know it’s not full proof but seriously?”

Jamie pulls out a pregnancy test. “Let’s find out.” We walk to the bathroom. 

With shaking hands, I pick up the test and read the box. Jamie stands behind me and kisses the back of my neck while I try to pull myself together. _I can’t be pregnant. It’s too soon._

I turn around and look at Jamie. He must see the terror in my eyes. “Shhh, Sassenach. It will be fine either way.”

I nod and push him out the door so that I can pee on this damn stick. I sit down as I unwrap the package. I quickly read the directions while I try to pee. Crap, I need to have a cup to capture the urine. I stand back up, pull up my pants, and open the door. Jamie has to catch himself since he was leaning on it. “Jamie, I need a cup. This stupid test did not come with one.”

He runs and gets me what I need. I take the cup and slam the door in his face. I’m beyond irritated. I sit back down and try to pee. I know Jamie is pacing outside that door, which makes my bladder nervous. I turn on the tap and try to calm my mind. Finally, the flow start,s and I place the cup in place. Ugh! Of course, I pee on my hand. Once I’m done, I dip the stick in the urine for 10 seconds, then lay it flat on the sink. Now, I have to wait for five minutes.

I wash my hands and open the door to find Jamie a safe distance away. He comes and pulls me into his arms. I hug him tightly and cry into his shoulder. He doesn’t say a thing as he rubs my back to calm me down.

The timer on my watch goes off, and I look into Jamie’s eyes. He leans down and gives me a gentle kiss. He grabs my hand, and we walk back into the bathroom. He picks up the stick and smiles. I look and see two lines and begin to cry again.

Jamie sits on the toilet and pulls me into his lap. “Are ye scared?”

“I’m terrified, Jamie. I want children with you, but not now.”

“I ken, but it truly is a blessing, Sassenach. I’ll be with ye every step of the way.” Jamie’s hands move to rub my stomach. 

I kiss him. “Jamie, I’m tired and want to take a nap.”

He nods. “Can I lay down with ye?”

“I’d like that.” Jamie stands us up, and we slowly walk to our bedroom. He lays down behind me and wraps his arms securely around my stomach. 

I slowly drift off to sleep. When I wake up, Jamie is still behind me. I turn around, and he kisses my forehead. “We’re really going to have a baby?” 

“Aye. Sassenach, I’ve been dreaming about this moment, and I can’t wait to meet our bairn. I hope she looks just like her mama.”

I smile. “I hope he or she has a heart as big as their daddy.”

“Do ye want to go and do an ultrasound?”

Tears slip out of my eyes as I softly say, “Yes.”

We quickly make our way to the office. Jamie pulls the ultrasound machine into the exam room. I lay down on the table and adjust my clothes. My pounding heart calms when I see how Jamie looks at me. I wince when he puts the cold gel on my stomach. 

Jamie slides the transducer over my belly. “Take a deep breath and relax.” I look at the monitor as he applies gentle pressure to my abdomen. My hand goes to my mouth, and I choke back a sob when we hear the baby’s heartbeat. Jamie laughs, and I see tears in his eyes. He leans down and kisses me. 

“Sassenach, I think ye are at least six weeks along since we can hear the heartbeat.”

I mentally do the math in my head. Jamie looks at me when I gasp. “That’s when I was sick and on antibiotics. How stupid of us not to take extra precautions.”

“Aye, but look at the miracle that resulted from our lapse in judgment.”

I see Jamie stare intensely at the monitor and open his mouth. I grab his arm. “What is it Jamie, is something wrong?”

He looks at me, and he slowly smiles and looks back at the monitor. “Sassenach, I don’t want ye to freak out.” 

“What the hell do you mean. What would I freak out about?”

He begins to laugh, and I hit him in the arm, which causes the image to disappear. He puts the transducer back in place. “It’s going to be ok. Now, I’m not an expert here, but I’m pretty sure we’re having twins.” He points to two places on the monitor.

My eyes go wide. “Oh, God, Jamie.”

Jamie prints the image and turns off the machine. He gently wipes the gel off my belly and hugs me. “Sassenach, we are doubly blessed.”

I’m shaking at this point and have lost my words. Jamie pulls up my yoga pants and pulls me off the table to stand. I wrap my arms around him tightly and sob.

Jamie rubs my back and soothes me in Gaelic. My heart begins to calm, and we walk back to the house. 

I turn and look at Jamie. “I don’t think I can do this. What do I know about babies?”

"What you don't ken, ye'll learn. We'll learn. Together."

I nod. “Jamie, I am already stressed about the wedding, and now this.”

“Sassenach don’t worry about the wedding. Let me see if Jenny can keep Fergus this evening, and we can talk about everything.”

“Okay. But we really owe Jenny and Ian. Ask her to let us know when we can take the kids for an over-night so they can have some time together.”

That evening we discuss our future. “Jamie, I want to move up the wedding. If we’re having twins, I will be a fat cow in four months.”

He laughs but stops when I glare at him. “Sassenach, I’d marry ye tomorrow if ye’d still have me.”

I give him a small smile. “Not tomorrow but before December. I need to call my doctor and make an appointment and have a proper ultrasound.”

Jamie winces at _proper_. “I’m sorry, Jamie.”  
  


“I ken what you mean. I’m not an OB-GYN, so I may have misread the ultrasound.”

“I doubt you did, but I want to make sure she doesn’t see any issues. I’m a bit worried, given what happened with my grandmother.”

“I’m sure ye are, but medicine has come a long way since then. Let’s think about how much fun we will have with bairns in the house.”

“Fun, like dirty diapers, spit-up, sore breasts? ”

He smirks at me, and I can’t help smiling before I continue, “And no caffeinated coffee or alcohol for eight months.”

“I ken, it’s not fair that you have to bear the burden of being pregnant and nursing the bairns, but I promise to help with anything I can.”

“Well, Jamie. In solidarity, I’d like you to give up coffee and alcohol for the duration of my pregnancy.”

He is too shocked to speak right away. I stare into his eyes when he tries to find the right words. “Well, Sassenach. If that will make ye feel better, I’ll do it.”

I run my fingers through his hair. “Oh, Jamie. You’re too sweet. I won’t make you suffer. Just don’t drink those beverages in front of me.”

He lets out a sigh of relief and holds out his hand. “Deal.” I shake his hand firmly.

“Oh, wait. I forgot to mention. At least a month without sex.”

I see him wince. “Aye, that will be difficult, but we will have our new bairns to keep our minds off it.”

I shake my head. “They will be cockblockers for some time, Jamie.”

He laughs and kisses behind my ear. “We will become creative with our love-making.”

I let out a soft moan when he sucks on my pulse point. I push him back to stay on track with our conversation. “Jamie, I want to continue working. I already took a year off from my career.”

“I ken. Ye should work as long as it’s safe for ye and the bairns. We can hire a nanny to help us.”

“Maybe I take three months off after I give birth and then start to work part-time for another three months.”

“I will support ye in whatever ye want to do.”

“Maybe Geillis can help. She told me she’s interested in practicing homeopathy, and I suggested she work with us one day a week. Is that ok?”

“Aye. That sounds good to me.”

He grabs the laptop so we can start looking at things for the nursery. I can’t imagine buying two of everything.

As we get ready for bed, I realize how lucky I am to have Jamie for my partner. Lying in bed, Jamie takes his usual position behind me. I turn around and give him a sensual kiss and whisper in his ear, “Make love to me, Jamie.”

He slowly tears me apart and puts me back together several times before we sleep.

____________

The next morning, we head to Lallybroch to pick up Fergus. Jenny tells us they would like us to take the kids for a long weekend next month. We readily agree.

While Fergus runs upstairs to grab his bag, we tell Jenny and Ian our big news.

Jenny hugs me and says, “Geez, brother. Ye sure work fast.”

Ian is patting Jamie on the back. “Ye are in fer it now, Jamie. Yer life will never be the same, and yer free time will be non-existent.”

“Oh, hush, Ian. We wouldn’t trade our two bairns for the world.”

Jenny pulls me into the kitchen. “Claire. I ken having yer first child is scary. But, this is nothing compared to what ye’ve already overcome.”

“Oh, Jenny. I don’t know anything about raising babies.”

“I see how ye are with Fergus. Ye have a maternal soul, Claire. Ye’ll ken what needs to be done when the time comes. Yer bairns are blessed to have ye fer a mother.”

I grabbed Jenny's hands. “They’re lucky to have you fer their auntie.”

Fergus comes downstairs with his bag. He thanks his aunt and uncle, and we head home.

At dinner, we break the news to Fergus. He sits in his chair with a vacant stare in his eyes. He finally asks, “Does this mean you no longer want to adopt me?”

I take his hand. “Oh, no sweetheart. We are still going to adopt you.”

“Aye, we need yer help being a big brother to our bairns. They have a lot to learn from ye.”

Fergus smiles. “I can’t wait until they’re here. I will help take care of them and teach them to speak French.”

I keep a careful eye on Fergus over the next few days to make sure he is comfortable with the news. I call his caseworker to let her know, and she congratulates me and lets me know that this will not delay our adoption of Fergus. 

Geillis is over the moon when I tell her the news. She tells me her boss will let her have Wednesdays off to work at our medical practice. If all goes well, she can fill in for me when I’m on maternity leave. 

Jamie and I attend my first OB-GYN appointment. The doctor reviews the ultrasound that Jamie did and confirms I am carrying twins, and I am six weeks along. We decide to wait until my second trimester for my second ultrasound. That’s when we can determine gender.

Our wedding will take place in four weeks. I’m worried about finding a wedding dress that will not make me look fat. Jenny, Geillis, and I devote a Saturday to shop for my dress. I have tried on over twenty gowns and feel dejected. 

Walking out of another dress shop, I whine, “Nothing will look good on my pregnant body.” 

I think Jenny is fed up with my attitude, but she keeps her mouth shut as we walk down the street. Suddenly, we come upon an antique shop that has the most beautiful dress I’ve ever seen in the window.

I stop in my tracks and yell at Jenny and Geillis, who are far ahead of me. We enter the shop. The owner tells me the dress was based on an 18th-century wedding dress and was last worn twenty-five years ago by the original bride's granddaughter. It’s made of silvered jute linen, with very fine pleating. The V-shaped piece of decorative cloth at the stomach and the petticoat is a silk/linen weave, covered in 450 hand-embroidered silver plate acorns and leaves, and one silver dog bone.

I ask if I can try it on before I even know the price. Jenny and Geillis help me.

“Hen, this dress seems to be made fer yer body. Ye look beautiful.”

“Aye, Claire. The high waist serves ye well. No one will guess yer pregnant in this dress.”

That’s music to my ears. “Do you think Jamie will like it, or will he think it should be white?”

“Believe me; my brother will die when he sees ye in this dress. Ye ken, he will be wearing the kilt, and this dress will compliment that quite well.’

I feel a shiver of excitement in my bones. I have yet to see Jamie in his kilt. I ask the owner the price, and she says it’s £2,500. I gladly pay that amount, and she wraps it up.

“Claire, we can keep the dress at Lallybroch, and I can make alterations when we get closer to the date. We have a lot of room in the waist, so ye’ll be fine.”

“Thanks, Jenny. Finding this dress is a big relief. I can’t believe in a month I will be Claire Fraser.”

When I get home, I’m excited to tell Jamie I found a dress. Jamie is too traditional to ask to see it, but he asks what it looks like. “Not going to tell you anything. Jenny thinks you’ll love it.”

“No doubt, Sassenach. Ye could wear a paper sack to the wedding, and I would think ye’re the most beautiful woman in the world.”

I kiss him. “I can’t wait to see you in your kilt.”

“Aye. I’m planning to get Fergus fitted for one with the Fraser colors. Wee Jamie and Ian will wear the Murray tartan.”

“I’m finally getting excited about our wedding. I’m glad we’re keeping it small.”

“Aye. Besides my family, we will have Geillis and John. Jenny will be doing most of the cooking with her housekeeper, Mrs. Crook.”

“I am going to take care of flowers. Are you planning a bachelor’s party with your friends?”

“We may go out for an evening but nothing much. How about you?”

“Ugh. Since I can’t drink and I’m in no need of a male stripper,” Jamie smirks. “I’m not eager to do anything that would be planned by Geillis. Maybe I will have a quiet dinner with her and Jenny.”

________

The days leading up to the wedding are hectic. I’ve gained more weight, but Jenny was right. This dress hides it well.

I do end up having a quiet dinner with Jenny and Geillis a few days before the wedding. We toast with apple cider. The following evening, Jamie heads out for a night with the boys. He claims he wanted a relatively quiet evening.

I’m asleep by the time he falls into bed. He pats my bum and loudly tells me he’s home. After he removes his shirt, he leans in to kiss me. “Jamie, you reek. I thought you were going to stay sober.”

“Ah, Sassenach. The boys kept on filling up my glass. But, I’m not drunk.” 

I glare at him as he pushes on my rear again. “Jamie, you are absolutely drunk.”

He stands up, “If ye can walk, yer, not drunk.” He proceeds to fall on the ground with his third step.

I throw a pillow at him. “You can go to sleep in the guestroom. I am not having you in this bed when I need my rest.”

“Ah, Claire. I’m sorry. Please let me sleep with you. I promise to make it worth your while.”

I huff. “Jamie, go and sleep it off. You are going to feel like shite in the morning.”

Jamie finally leaves the room, and I laugh when he trips again. I get up to check on him 10 minutes later, worried he could choke if he gets sick. I find him in the guestroom bed, fully clothed. After removing his shoes and socks, I try to roll him over, but he’s too heavy. I get him a bottle of water and two aspirins and drag a blanket from our room so I can watch over him.

I put my phone on the nightstand so I’ll hear the alarm. I get into bed and hug his arm. He begins to snore loudly, and I roll my eyes. 

The alarm goes off, and I’m exhausted. Jamie’s snoring and tossing and turning kept me awake most of the night. 

I shut off the alarm and lean over and shake him hard. I yell, “Jamie, wake up.” He opens his eyes and quickly closes them. “Damn it, Jamie. Get up.” Nothing. I unbuckle his pants and pull them down. I grasp his balls tightly, and he groans. “I’m awake. If ye could be so kind as to let go of my balls.”

I smirk. “Oh, I’ll let go of them, alright. I may not be touching them for a really long time.”

I go to move, and Jamie puts his arms around me to stop. “I’m sorry, Sassenach. I should no have drunk that much.”

“And?”

“I should not have woken you when I came home.”

“And?”

“I’m a terrible fiancée.”

I smack him. “No, you’re not. I want you to apologize for snoring. You got more sleep than I did last night, and may I remind you that I’m growing your progenies inside me.” 

He smiles. “Aye, ye are, and I love ye so much, Sassenach. Please don’t stop touching my balls. They’d be so lonely without ye.”

I laugh. “I’ll not be touching them anymore this morning. I need to get your son up for school. You need to drink this water with this aspirin and take a long hot shower. You stink to the high heavens, Jamie.”

“Aye, Sassenach. Whatever you say. Come kiss me, good morning.”

“No, sir. You brush that mouth good, and I’ll think about it.”

Fergus and I are eating breakfast when Jamie comes to the table. Bleary-eyed and pale.

“Da, are you sick?”

“No, Fergus. Just partied a little too hard with your uncle last night.”

Fergus laughs and smacks Jamie on the back. I get up and walk Fergus out so he can catch the bus.

I put a glass in front of Jamie. “What is that?”

“It’s a cure for your hangover. It’s beet juice and kale. Drink up, lad.”

He takes a sip. “Ugh. I can’t stomach this.”

I glare at him, and he drinks the full glass. I smile and give him a good morning kiss. 

“Claire, are ye mad at me.”

“No, Jamie. We all need to have fun. If I weren’t pregnant, I would have probably been drunk at my party as well.”

Jamie pulls me into his lap. “I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you.”

I give him another kiss. “Ditto, my love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sweet 😘 to everyone who has blessed me with their positive feedback. This story is only able to continue because of you!


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wedding + Honeymood + Sexy Times

The second Saturday in November brings unseasonably warm temperatures and no rain. A fine day for a wedding. I stayed at Lallybroch last night with Jenny, Geillis, and Maggie while Ian and wee Jamie were at our house. 

I was biting my lip and worried my nausea will cause me to vomit during the ceremony. Geillis rubs my shoulders to calm me before she starts working on my hair. She whispers in my ear, "Today is going to be so lovely. Ye have nothing to worry about."

Geillis does well taming my curls and pulling them into a classic updo. I put on my shift, but we forgo the corset since that is not healthy for the babies. I have a little stomach already, but the dress has some give thanks to Jenny's altering. 

I fix my make-up and look at the clock just as Fergus knocks, and Jenny grants him entry. I almost cry when I see him in his kilt, knobby knees and all. 

Jenny and Geillis excuse themselves to give me a moment with Fergus.

Fergus hugs me. "Mum, you look magnifique. Da will flip when he sees you."

"Thanks, sweetheart. You look very handsome in your kilt."

"Oui. I was not sure about wearing a skirt, but Da is right."

"About what?"

"My balls are happy being so free."

I laugh so hard, my eyes water. "Fergus, please don't say that to anyone else."

He nods. Jenny comes inside and tells us it's time. 

Fergus looks me in the eyes. "Are you ready for me to give you away?"

I take a deep breath to calm my nerves. "Yes, my dear boy. Let's go."

Fergus takes my arm and leads me out of the bedroom and down the stairs. I see Jamie at the end of the hall standing with the priest in the parlor. Our eyes lock as I admire his kilt with its beautiful shades of browns and blues woven together with a little bit of red.

I smile as I walk past Geillis and Dougal, John, Murtagh, Jenny, wee Jamie, and Ian, holding a sleeping Maggie. 

I'm locked on Jamie's eyes as Fergus stands on his tiptoes to kiss me before handing me off to his father. Jamie smiles and takes my hands. I fight to hold back my tears as I give him a shy smile. 

We go through the ceremony reciting the traditional wedding vows. 

"I, James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser take, thee, Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forth, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health... till death us do part."

"I, Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp, take, thee, James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser to be my wedded husband. To have and to hold from this day... in sickness and in health... till death us do part."

We put on our rings. Before we are pronounced husband and wife, Jamie says, "Sassenach, I would like to make a blood vow to you." He surprises me by taking a dagger from his waist and making a shallow cut on his palm. "Ye are blood of my blood, and bone of my bone. I give ye my body that we two might be one. I give ye my spirit, 'til our life shall be done."

I take the dagger from his hand and make a small cut on my palm. When I draw blood, he gasps, and I give him a warm smile and grasp his hand while I repeat the words back to him. 

The priest tells Jamie to kiss his bride. He comes close to me and whispers, "I love this dress on ye, but I can't wait to take it off." His lips brush mine. The heat rises in my cheeks as his tongue touches mine, quick and delicious, then firmer, more determined.

The loud applause breaks us from our reverie. Fergus rushes to hug us while all of the adults offer their congratulations. After cleaning our cuts, we share a meal with our family and friends. The entire time, Jamie continues to steal glances at me as we talk with all of our guests. 

I grab Jamie on the way to the kitchen. He pulls me into a kiss. "How are ye doing, Mrs. Fraser?"

Looking around and finding us alone, I suck his lip in my mouth. "I'm doing well, husband. I'd like to leave after we find Fergus."

He reigns kisses down my jaw and licks my earlobe. I shiver and then laugh as his scruff tickles my neck.

We pull apart when we see Fergus fly by the kitchen. Jamie and I hug Fergus goodbye and head home to change and grab our bags. 

At the door to our house, Jamie lifts me, and I squeal. "What are you doing?" 

"I'm carrying my bride over the threshold."

Once we're in the house, he sets me down and twirls me around. "Sassenach, I want to ravish you out of that dress, but," he teases, "we need to get going to Skye."

I run my hand under his kilt and gently squeeze him. "Are you sure we don't have any time?"

He picks me up and carries me to our bedroom. On our journey, he leaves a trail of kisses along my breasts, shoulders, neck, nose, eyes, and finally, my lips. His touch was gentle yet possessive as he undresses me and lets down my hair. 

I sit up and unbuckle his kilt, and it falls to the ground. I gently grasp him. "Fergus told me your balls are very happy in your kilt."

He groans, "My balls are very happy in yer hands."

He removes his shirt and stands naked in front of me. I sit back on my elbows so I can see him. _All of him._ His body was a masterpiece. My eyes linger on the trail of hair leading from his belly button to his hard cock that I couldn't wait to have inside me. "Jamie, we really must not dawdle if we want to make it to Skye before dark." 

He picks up his sporran he had placed on the bed, removes some pearls from the pouch, and places them around my neck. I finger the pearls as they sway across my breasts. Jamie tilts my chin up to look in his eyes. "These are scotch peals. They were my mothers, and now they are yours."

I kiss his hand as he continues. "They are one of the few things I have left of her. They are very precious to me, as are you."

"Jamie, they're beautiful. I'm honored to have something of your mothers."

He wipes a tear from my eye as he tenderly kisses my lips. His eyes never leave mine as he takes the pearls in his mouth and sucks them around my nipple. The feel of Jamie's tongue and the smooth texture of the pearls has me moaning loudly as my fingers run through his hair.

"Yer nipples are more sensitive now, huh?"

"God, Jamie. Take me now, and don't be gentle."

He thrust into me hard, and I scream. He sets a fast pace as he pounds into me. He gently rubs his hand over my baby bump.

"This isn't too hard for the bairns?"

"No, faster, Jamie."

"You feel incredible, Sassenach” he whispers as he leans back and drives into me. I place my hands on his chest as his movements become faster and faster. Our rhythm intensifies, and his thrusts send waves of pleasure crashing through my veins.

I'm about to come. My moans are uncontrollable. My entire body trembles and my nails dig into his back. Our breaths are shallow as we hold onto each other tightly. The friction of his coarse hair against my clit is my undoing. I scream my release as his head comes to rest on my shoulder as he comes inside me. 

His hands are stroking my hair. "I love you, Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp Fraser."

I kiss him. "I love you, James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser."

After a quick shower, we dress and begin our two-and-a-half-hour drive to Skye. 

**___________**

We arrive at the Fraser house on the Sleat Peninsula in South Skye before nightfall. I can just make out the views to the Sound of Sleat and the hills beyond. Jamie carries our bags in the house as I quickly take in the beautiful scenery. 

I call Jenny and let her know we have arrived safely. I thank her again for helping with the wedding. I talk with Fergus briefly and let him know we will call him tomorrow evening. 

Jamie gives me a quick tour of the five-bedroom, six-bathroom house. There is a suite of rooms on the top floor. I can just imagine bringing Fergus and the twins here someday. The house is large enough that we could easily vacation with Jenny and her family.

Jamie starts the fire in the woodstove in the living room, and I go into the kitchen and make some sandwiches from meat that was leftover from our wedding reception. I place our food on the coffee table and sink into the couch. Jamie comes and sits beside me, and we eat a light dinner and share a piece of our wedding cake. 

We slip off to bed, and Jamie slowly undresses me. He sits on the edge of the bed and pulls me to straddle him. "I want to try something."

I unbuckle his pants. "What?"

"I want to see if I can make ye come by just sucking yer beautiful nipples?" He leans forward to capture my hardened bud in his mouth, and I grasp his shoulders. A delicious tease that makes me so wet. Breathlessly I whisper, "When you touch my nipples, I can feel it go straight to my clit." He sucks harder at my revelation. _"_ Mmmmm, _"_ I half-hum, half-moan, loving the delicious torment his mouth is making. 

"Jamie, Ahhhh, please make me come." My body presses closer to him, and I move his head to focus on my other breast, which he sucks, then soothes again with his tongue. He looks up at me as he pinches one nipple and bites the other. My head goes back as my body arches off the bed with a powerful climax.

I pant as he rubs my stomach to calm me down. "God, Jamie." I laugh as I try to catch my breath. "That's never happened before." 

He pulls me up into his lap, and I feel his hard cock against my stomach. He pulls me up on my knees and positions himself at my entrance, and I slowly sink onto him. I start to rock back and forth. "Fuck, Jamie. You feel so good."

He leans back on the bed and pulls me down as his hands massage my arse. I kiss him thoroughly as he pumps hard against me. My face hides in his neck, and I bite his ear. He groans loudly, and I whisper, "You like that baby?"

"Sassenach, I love when ye ride me," he groans and slaps my arse as we thrust harder against each other. I feel the coil in my stomach grow as I pull on Jamie's hair and nip his bottom lip. I clench my muscles on each thrust. I tilt my hips slightly and whine when he hits my clit, "Mmmmm. Jamie. Right there." It's getting harder to catch my breath as everything tightens, sensations building as I rapidly approach my orgasm.

I feel him pull away and roll us over, groaning as his cock slips out of me. I quickly pull him close as he tugs my leg high around his waist, breathing my name as he sinks into me once more. The pace of his thrusts has me panting. Needing to ground myself, I sink my teeth into his shoulder as I writhe against him.

Jamie begins to move, torturously slow, and I arch into him, adjusting more fully to this new, deeper angle, the intimacy of our connection tearing at my soul, filling me, making me soar as my body winds with his. He supports himself on his elbows, locking eyes with me.

"Jamie, please." I needed more and was aching for the coil to release.

"I feel like God himself when I'm in ye," he pants, so close I could see nothing but the blue rings of his irises.

I laugh so hard he nearly comes out of me. He stops and grips my shoulders to steady me.

I finally stop laughing and lean forward and kiss him hard. He tortures me by moving slowly. I let out a soft moan, which causes him to slam into me, harder and harder, building a fire within me as I meet his movements thrust for thrust. He reaches between us to move me along by making tight, rough circles around my clit. My body hums as blinding pleasure burns through me, my whole-body shaking as I fall apart. Jamie gives a hoarse cry, emptying himself within me, his jerking movements prolonging my high as my body milks him.

He rolls off me, unable to hold himself up anymore, and I wrap my arms around him, my muscles still quivering. I welcome the slide of his damp skin against mine. I run my fingers through his sweaty curls.

"I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you, Jamie."

He turns and kisses me gently, "Tha gaol agam ort. I will love ye for the rest of my days, Sassenach."

__________ 

The following morning, we go on a hike to the Old Man of Storr. The sky is grey, but we don't let that dampen our mood. Jamie checks in with me to make sure I feel well enough to make the trek. I know how much he loves to hike, and I'm eager to see the spiky pinnacles of rock. 

At first, the trail is an easy walk as it's wide and covered with gravel. It grows more difficult with the constant climb to the top. Jamie allows me to take many breaks along the way. Offering me water at each stop and pulling me along with him in the steepest areas. 

Halfway up, the trail it's muddy, and the rocks are slippery. Jamie slows our pace, and he continually reminds me to be careful. He rarely lets my hand go as we slog to the top. After 45 minutes, we finally make it. 

But, Jamie assures me there are better views of the Old Man, and we continue to follow the trail along the ridge to the right. This slowly leads us up to another prominence. 

I gasp at the view. "It was worth the hike, right Sassenach?" 

"It's beautiful, Jamie." He wraps his arm around me. We take a selfie with the Old Man in the background. 

"I can't wait to bring our bairns here one day."

I nod and kiss him. The rain clouds finally open up, and we slowly make our way back to the car. I'm shivering, and Jamie takes my hands in his and blows his breath into them to warm me. 

He cranks up the heater when we finally get to the car. Our cheeks are red, and our noses are running. 

"Darling, that was so much fun, but I'm ready for a hot bath."

Jamie leans over and kisses me. "Aye, let's get ye and the bairns warm."

We run inside, and Jamie helps me out of my wet jacket. He kisses my neck and rubs his hands along my arms to warm me up. He leaves to runs me a bath. I'm in heaven when I slip into the hot water. I let the cold roll off my body while Jamie rustles up some lunch.

I feel a hand on my shoulder, stirring me awake. "Sassenach, ye fell asleep in the water. Best get out before you catch a chill again."

Jamie helps me out of the tub and dries me off. I slip into some warm pajamas and follow him to the kitchen.

We spend the rest of the day inside reading and watching _Planet Earth_ on Netflix. I doze off during the second episode and wake to Jamie rubbing my stomach.

“How do ye feel, Sassenach?”

"Unreasonably tired."

He kisses my temple. "Not really. Yer growing our bairns. That's going to sap yer energy."

I frown, thinking about how much harder it's going to get. Jamie snuggles in closer to me, and my heart feels lighter, knowing I have him by my side.

We spend the next three days exploring Skye and each other. On the drive home, I grab Jamie's hand and kiss his knuckles. "I had a wonderful time on our honeymoon. I wish I hadn't slept as much as I did."

He pulls my hand to his mouth. "Dinna fash. I could spend the rest of my days cuddling ye in my arms."

Our reunion with Fergus is sweet, with hugs and kisses all around. We thank Jenny and Ian for looking after him and for hosting our wedding. Jenny asks us, and we are happy to agree to watch the kids in two weeks so they can spend a long weekend in Skye. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all you lovely people who left me feedback on the last chapter. You'll never understand how much your words mean to me. 😘😘😘


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> J/C babysit wee Jamie and Maggie, have a follow-up ultrasound, and Jamie gives a well-needed massage to Claire. A big surprise in this chapter awaits you all.

The next two weeks fly by. My morning sickness has abated, and I’m eating well, maybe a little too well. Jamie is enjoying my baby bump and spends time each evening talking to his “bairns.”

This weekend we’re babysitting. Wee Jamie has asked to camp out in Fergus’ room. We will have Maggie sleep in the bedroom across from us. This room will eventually become the nursery. 

Jenny brings over all of the supplies we will need. Wee Jamie just needs a suitcase and some toys. Maggie requires clothes, toys, nappies for nighttime, pull-ups to use during the day, a potty seat to continue her toilet training, sippy cups, bibbs, and a baby monitor. Ian also brought booster and car seats.

I feel overwhelmed when Jenny gives me all of the instructions. Jamie listens and rubs my back. He’s excited to host his niece and nephew for the first time, and Fergus is thrilled to have the company. 

That evening, while Jamie plays with the boys, I undress Maggie to bathe her. She is happy to play in the water with a cup and a rubber duck that squirts water. Once I finish washing her hair and attempt to lift her, she screams and tries to squirm out of my grasp. 

As I dry her off, I attempt to distract her, “Maggie, let’s go pick a book to read together.”

She cries, “No, I want to pay in wawa.”

“Oh baby, look at your fingers. There all shriveled up.” She looks at me like I’m crazy.

I pick her up and carry her to our room to get her dressed for bed. I brush her hair as she plays with her stuffed lamb.

Before I put on her diaper, I ask, “Maggie let’s go sit on the potty before we go to bed.”

“No, no bed. I want to pay with Jamie and Gus.”

I look at the clock and see we have some time. “Okay, let’s sit on the potty, and then you can go play.”

I get her seat, and sit her on the toilet. She fidgets and says, “No, pee-pee. I pay.”

I turn on the tap, thinking that could help her get in the right mood. “Try really hard, Maggie. I know you can do it. You’re such a big girl, aren’t you?”

“Aye, I’m a big girl.” I finally hear her peeing, and she giggles. I smile. “That’s so good, Maggie.”

I hand her toilet paper to wipe. Jenny says she hasn’t mastered it yet and needs to be pushed to do it.

I use a wipe to ensure she is clean before I put on her nappy.

Once done, she’s running to Fergus’ room.

The boys are playing _Star Wars._ Maggie immediately interrupts their play.

Wee Jamie yells, “Hey, Maggie. Ye just stepped into our clone war. Get out.”

Maggie grabs one of the toys and sticks it in her mouth. I remember they have small pieces, and I quickly take it from her, and she screams bloody murder. Both boys cover their ears.

I go to pick her up, and she cries harder. Jamie runs into the room. “Hey, what’s going on?”

“Uncle Jamie, Maggie came in and ruined everything.”

I pat Maggie on the back to try and console her. “She’s upset I wouldn’t let her chew on a toy. I was afraid she would choke.”

Jamie takes Maggie out of my arms. He starts to calm her by speaking softly in Gaelic. I let out a long breath as Jamie leaves the room with her. 

“Okay, boys. You can play for another hour or so. Then we can read a story before you go to bed.”

I follow the sounds of Maggie’s cries. I find Jamie in the guestroom where Maggie will be sleeping. I watch him hold and cuddle the angry and tired toddler. I smile at how good he is with her. I pull out her favorite book, and I show it to her as she sucks her thumb and sobs. 

“Do you want me to read to you?”

She nods slowly as she hiccups to try and end her tears. I open the book and read. It starts with the title. “There was a wee lassie who swallowed a midgie. I don’t know why she swallowed the midgie, So teeny and squidgy!”

Maggie giggles as I read the book. Jamie just shakes his head and laughs at my rendition of the different voices. The wee lassie in the book swallows several of Scotland’s favorite creatures to catch that annoying midgie -- including a puffin, a dog, a seal, and even Nessie!

She falls asleep in Jamie’s arms during the second reading. He lays her in bed and turns on the night light and the baby monitor. 

Jamie looks and me and says, “I hope that wee lassie sleeps through the night.”

I nod and yawn. Taking care of a two-year-old is a lot of work.

He leans over and kisses me. “Ye go and relax. I’ll get the other two bairns to bed.”

I shower and get into bed to read, _The Modern Midwife’s Guide to Pregnancy, Birth, and Beyond_.

Jamie comes in and lays on the bed. I run my fingers through his curls. “Now that I’m 14 weeks, the babies are growing hair and can use their facial muscles to grimace or smile.”

He rubs and kisses my belly. “Interesting. I can’t wait to find out what we’re having.”

“It says my breasts are still growing.”

Jamie massages my breasts. “Aye, one of the perks of yer pregnancy.”

He pulls up my shirt and sucks on my breast. My fingers grab his head as I moan. My nipples are still very sensitive. “Yer nipples have gotten darker in color as well.”

Jamie’s fingers trace down my stomach, and I arch into his hand as he cups me. I moan as he works through my wetness. 

“Sassenach, can I . . .” Just then, we hear Maggie’s cries through the monitor. Jamie pulls away, and I adjust my shirt. 

“I’ll go get her while you wash your hands.”

I walk quickly to Maggie and turn on the light to see her with her arms raised. I pick her up and kiss her head. “What’s the matter, baby girl.”

She cries, “Mama, Mama.” 

“Shhh, baby, it’s alright. Your Mama and Dada will be home in a few days.”

I decided to take Maggie to our room, so she doesn’t wake the boys.

Jamie comes out of the bathroom and sees me trying to calm Maggie. 

“Oh, Jamie. She misses Jenny. It’s her first time without her.”

Maggie holds her hands out to Jamie. He takes her and tries to rock her crying away. 

“Sassenach, I think she needs a new nappy.” Jamie carries her back to her room and changes her. I get her some warm milk, and we finally calm her down and put her back to bed.

A few hours later, she is back up and crying. This time I cradle her in my arms to sleep. We decided it would be easier to keep her with us.

Maggie wakes once more, and Jamie takes another turn at soothing her. My brain worries about the future. I can’t imagine dealing with two crying babies. 

Fergus and wee Jamie come in and wake us at 9 am. There never was a need to set the alarm on the weekend because Jamie is naturally an early riser. We only have an hour to dress and feed the kids before heading to a riding lesson. Maggie is cranky and eats very little for breakfast. Jamie and I are sleep deprived and on edge.

Thankfully, Maggie sleeps through most of the lesson, but we are caught between a hyperactive and depressed toddler the remainder of the weekend. We are ecstatic when Jenny and Ian arrive on Sunday to collect their children.

After sending Fergus to bed, I’m exhausted. We sleepwalk through our nightly routine and crawl into bed at 9:30 pm. Jamie massages my belly and says, “Sassenach, your second ultrasound’s tomorrow. Are you excited to find out what we’re having?”

“Mmmm. I’m more nervous about finding out if everything’s okay, but I’m eager to learn more about our babes.” I yawn and add, “We can start thinking about names.”

He kisses me and rubs my belly. The sensations of the movement lull me into a deep sleep.

The following morning, I slowly wake. I’m sad to feel the cool bed behind me. I startle when I see how late it is. Rushing out of the room, I realize Jamie must have seen Fergus off to school. Remembering my first patient is not for another two hours, I take a long, hot shower and eat a big breakfast. 

I text Jamie and thank him for letting me sleep late. Three patients later, we are on the way to my appointment. My nervous energy causes my leg to bounce, and I find myself picking at my lips. Jamie grabs my hand to calm my nerves.

We check-in and sit down to wait for our turn. My mind takes me back to the time I was waiting to see Dr. Raymond. Little did I know that the events of that day would change my life forever. I look over at Jamie as he plays a game on his phone. I close my eyes and touch my belly, thinking of what our children will look like.

I’m shaken from my daydream when they call my name, Claire Fraser. It sends shivers down my spine to hear my new name. The nurse takes my vitals. I’ve gained a total of 11 pounds, which makes me grimace and Jamie smile. _God, I wish he could carry one of these babies, then we’d see who was smiling._

The ultrasound technician comes in and goes through the routine questions of how I’m feeling. She congratulates us on our marriage. The lights are turned down, and the ultrasound begins. I hold on tightly to Jamie’s hand.

I gasp when I see the babies. Jamie wipes his eyes as he smiles at me. The technician looks at the monitor and immediately says, “two girls!” Now tears are flowing down my face.

The tech keeps following the membrane to try and distinguish Baby A from Baby B. The girls are sharing the same sac, so it’s hard to differentiate the legs and arms. The technician apologizes for the delay. I quickly say, “That’s okay, don’t worry. As long as you don’t find anymore!” We all laugh.

A few more minutes go by, and the tech gets silent and starts scanning back and forth.

“Wait, I think there is another head. Okay. Baby A is here. Baby B is here. Yep, Okay. That is another head. I’ll be right back. I’m going to get Dr. Stevenson!”

The door shuts, and I look at Jamie. He tries to give me a reassuring smile, but my heart is pounding. “Jamie.”

“Shhh, Sassenach. Whatever happens, we will get through it together.”

“I don’t think so, Jamie. I WILL BE CARRYING THREE BABIES!”

Just then, there is a knock at the door, and the doctor enters. “I hear we may have some excitement here, so let me take a look.”

The technician points to the area where she saw the third head. The doctor expertly moves around the transducer. “Well, I can confirm you are carrying triplets. This one here is a boy.”

I feel like I’m having an out of body experience. I hear Jamie talking with the doctor, but I can’t make out what he’s saying. Jamie squeezes my hand and leans down, and whispers in my ear, “Sassenach, it’s going to be fine.”

Dr. Stevenson says, “This changes things.” Everything is a blur as she mentions bed rest, delivering at 32 weeks, and a few other things to come. I appreciate my doctor more than she will know because she doesn’t sugar coat anything. She is beyond supportive but also makes sure we know what’s to come.

She checks my cervix. We’re grateful to hear that the babies’ anatomies are perfect, weighing in at 8 oz, 8 oz, and 9 oz – the size of what one single baby would weigh at this point.

The doctor says, “Claire, did ye hear me?”

“Sorry, what did you say?”

“I said ye have a ‘cervix of steel’ for now.”

I look at Jamie, and he laughs. “That means the babies shouldn’t be coming too early.”

“We will need to see you every two weeks and then every week after you are six months along.”

I see Jamie nodding, but my mind is still dizzy with the information. Jamie helps me dress and keeps his arm around my shoulders as we walk to the car.

Once I’m buckled, I begin to sob. “Jamie, I’m so scared that I will not be able to carry this pregnancy to term.”

“I know, babe. This was a big surprise, Sassenach.” He runs his fingers along my jaw. “Ye’re the strongest person I ken, and ye can do this.”

“Jamie, sometimes things are outside our control.”

“I ken, but let’s not think the worst when we are just at the beginning. Positive thoughts are important here. The bairns can feel yer stress.”

I shake my head as I wipe away my tears. “You’re right. I will try and stay positive.”

Jamie smiles. “I can’t believe I get to raise four bairns with ye. Yer an amazing mother to Fergus, and these bairns are lucky to have ye. “

I offer Jamie a weak smile and squeeze his hand. “And they are fortunate to have you for their Dad.”

My mind is still reeling as we drive home. Thankfully we have no more patients for the day, and Jamie leads me into the house. Fergus is staying after school for a music lesson, so we have some time before we have to pick him up.

Jamie rubs my shoulders and kisses me by my ear. “Ye’re so tense. Would you like a massage?”

I hum. I’ve never had a massage from Jamie, but I feel so jumpy, I’m not sure.

“Come on. Let my magic fingers help ye.”

_I do love his magic fingers_. He pulls me out of my chair before I can respond and takes me to our bedroom. Walking into the bathroom, I slowly undress as the doctor’s words continue to run through my mind. After washing my face, I stroll into the bedroom and see an appreciative smile from Jamie when he sees I’m in the buff. 

Laying down on a towel that Jamie placed on the bed, I let out a huge sigh as I turn my face towards the window. Smelling lavender, I cannot help but smile at my thoughtful husband. Jamie sprays oil down my back, and his hands begin to knead my tense muscles. I groan at the pressure he applies to my shoulders. 

“God, Jamie. That feels so good.” I giggle when I realize I sound the same when he’s getting me off. He increases the pressure and I let out a loud moan as his hands find their way down my back to my bum. “I’ve never had a butt massage before. This is heaven.”

“Just paying ye back for all of the good massages ye’ve given me.” He kisses my neck. 

His hands continue down my legs, and he massages my feet for a while. He runs his hands back up my thighs, and I gasp when I feel oil dripping between my butt cheeks. “Darling, not sure that much oil is ever necessary.”

Jamie laughs. “I got carried away looking at yer arse.” He kneads it some more. “Ye ken, how much I love it.”

Jamie lays down next to me, still touching, and begins gently stroking my back with his hand. Very gradually, he moves, first just the tip of his fingers, all the way from the base of my spine to the nape of my neck, lightly tickling. I breathe deeply, closing my eyes tightly. Then, he continues, using the entire palm of his hand to caress my back in circles, creating warmth all over. I knew Jamie was trying to open me up to him. I shift, parting my thighs slightly.

Slowly, his hands move down to hold my arse. With one full palm on each cheek, he begins again to caress me. I lightly moan as he slowly parts my cheeks, stretching me open tenderly, and exhales into me before continuing to massaging me where my arse met my legs. I had no idea it could ever feel so good to be touched there. I feel my entire body opening to him.

Jamie gently pushes my legs apart, and his fingers trace my inner thigh, from my knee up to my core. I can hear his breathing grow very heavy, and it fills me with desire. It was a challenge for me to lie still and simply receive pleasure.

Crouching between my legs, slowly, he parts my lips with his fingers. He slides his finger back and forth along my wetness. A rush of pleasure floods my entire body as I moan loudly. 

“Oh my God, Jamie.”  
  


“May I?” he says.  
  


“May you what?” I gasp, looking back to connect with his eyes.

“Yer smell is so intoxicating. I want to taste ye.”

I nod, wanting nothing more in the universe right now.

With that, he kneels and kisses me slowly and lightly on my clit—so slow that I feel his breath, again, as he inhales and exhales on my swollen nub. And he keeps kissing: my lips, my inner thighs, slowly and exuberantly, savoring me with every lick. I felt myself stretch wider for him. Inviting him further into me. All I knew was I needed him deep and full inside of me. It was too much, the way he had unlocked me so intuitively and so naturally. Nothing urgent, nothing forced. Every touch, every breath, seamlessly spreading pleasure and deepening our connection. 

I whine when I finally feel Jamie’s fingers sliding into me. “Ahhh, Jamie.” His fingers thrusts between two extremes, hard and gentle. The wet sounds coming from me are pornographic. Jamie groans as I start to clench around his fingers. I push up on my arms so I can better ride his hand. 

He rolls me over and bends over me, and licks around my clit. I thrust my hips into his mouth. “Fuck, Jamie.” 

“That’s it Sassenach. I want ye to come all over me.” He bites softly on my clit while his fingers curl inside me. I explode, and a jet of liquid shoots out of me, and one orgasm turns into another as I continue to soak Jamie’s hand.

“Woah, Sassenach. Ye just squirted. I’ve never seen that before.”

I scream his name in response and continue to writhe against his hand. Looking up, I grab Jamie by his ears and pull him into a rough kiss. I whisper into his mouth, “Jamie, I want you inside me, NOW!” I pull his shirt off him and unbutton his slacks and grab his cock.

“Sassenach, I’m not done yet. Close your eyes and relax; think of something calming,” Jamie whispers.

I slowly release his cock as I fall backward, and he gently turns me over to lie on my stomach. Taking a deep breath, I pretend I’m floating on a calm lake, sun beaming down on me, and Jamie is right beside me. 

Climbing onto the bed, Jamie hovers above me. I can feel him close to my skin, but not quite touching. Slowly, he lowers his body onto mine, letting some of his weight press into me: his torso against my back, his cock on my arse, and his warm feet mingling with my cold ones. His weight feels safe and so warm and just good. Too good. I realize that this may be the last time I can have him like this. This position will be impossible as my belly grows.

That thought drifts away as he slides his arms down mine and brings them up above my head. He encircles my fingers between his and holds our hands to the bed.

“Breathe with me,” he whispers hotly in my ear. The sensation of his breath hitting my ear is like a flood—a heavy flow from him to me. Together, we inhale deeply, as deeply as we can, and then exhale slowly. And then, again. Perfectly in sync. I feel closer to him with every breath, almost as though our souls are merging, connecting, on a higher level. It’s funny, I think, that something as simple as lying naked, pressed together, and breathing could enchant me so.

As we breathe, he exhales into the back of my neck—hot, slow, controlled, and yet full of desire and appreciation. I can feel his cock, hard against me, but he makes no move to address it. He continues to grasp my hands in his, above my head. We continue to breathe together. I get lost in him as my worries melt away. I can feel the wetness between my thighs. But I find myself more patient than usual. Simply reveling at the moment, he draws me closer to him with the warmth of his body.

Slowly, he moves one hand down my body, and I can feel him position his cock between my legs. He begins to move, rubbing his length deliciously against my core. 

“Aaah, Jamie. Please. I want you inside me. I want to feel your big cock pound my pussy.”

He groans at my use of language. He pulls up on his knees and feeds himself into me. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt anything this intense. The buildup to this point has dialed up my arousal, and I’m on edge with the first slide. Jamie leans his chest against my back as he leisurely thrusts against me. I’m trapped by his weight and cannot counter, but at the moment, I can’t seem to care as I whine at the friction.

“Sassenach, it’s like yer sucking me into ye, never wanting to let me go.”

“Mmmm. Jamie, fuck me.”

“No, this time. I’m going to make love to my beautiful wife.”

I groan as he continues to move slowly but deeply inside me. I turn my head to capture his lips as we roll our tongues against each other. I bite his lip, which causes him to thrust harder. “Please, Jamie. Faster. I want to feel more.”

He pushes me into the mattresses with both hands on my back as he sits back and quickens his pace. I begin to pant and continuously moan as he builds me up. I move my hand under me, and Jamie grabs my wrist. 

“No, yet, Sassenach. Just a little more.”

I can tell he wants us to go together and he is not there yet. I begin to clench my muscles around him, and he groans loudly as he finally starts to pound into me. Grabbing the sheets, I arch my back as my swollen clit catches the towel that is bunched up below me. 

“Jamie, don’t stop. Please don’t stop.” He leans down, and his thrusts shorten as I feel him hit my G-spot. I start to scream my release as I feel him bite my shoulder. Warmth spreads throughout my body as Jamie climaxes. My body feels like it’s floating as electrical pulses run from my throbbing clit, to my nipples and out through my fingertips.

Jamie’s full weight falls on me for a few seconds before he rolls us over. I grab his hand as we both gasp for air as we try to slow down our breathing. 

I move over and lay on his chest and hear the pounding of his heart. I reign kisses up his neck to his ear. “Thank you, darling. I feel at peace.”

I kiss him tenderly and whisper in his mouth, “I love you.” Jamie deepens the kiss. “I love you so much, Sassenach.” He leans over to talk to my belly. “I also love my three bairns. Please go easy on your Mam.”

I laugh and take in a deep breath. _I realize yet again I would not want to be on this ride with anyone besides Jamie Fraser_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Such lovely notes on the last chapter. Thank you to everyone who takes the time to leave me feedback and to all you sweet and generous souls who have stuck with this story for this long 😘


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas with the Frasers! J/C have fun with a sex toy.

* * *

Before we know it, we are decorating for Christmas. We all head to Lallybroch to cut down a tree. Fergus is beyond excited to hang the ornaments and his stocking. 

We hike for a bit in the snow to find the right tree. Jamie, Ian, and the kids run ahead as Jenny and I talk. 

I turn up my collar and wrap my scarf tighter around my neck to combat the cold temperature. I grabbed Jenny's hand to stop her so we would not be overheard.

"Can you ask Jamie to take the boys to their riding lesson next weekend? I hired a contractor to set up the basement as a gym. The contractor and his crew came a few days ago when Jamie was at an all-day medical seminar to paint and lay the gym flooring. Now I only need to have them install the gym equipment. He never goes down there, so it will be a surprise."

"Aye. Jamie will love that. How long do ye need him out of the house?"

"They will arrive at 10 am and estimate it will take four hours to finish."

"That shouldn’t be a problem. I will ask Ian to keep him busy with chores around the farm."

"Wonderful. I hope he likes it."

"Ye ken Jamie. He'll love anything ye get him, and he's been wanting to start going to the gym again, but he doesn’t want to be away from ye."

"I know. When the babies come, we’ll both need an outlet, and I’ll need to lose all of this weight I'm gaining. I already feel like a whale."

"Oh, sister. I think I gained more with wee Jamie then ye‘ve gained with three bairns. Have ye discussed names yet?"

"We are each making a list. Hopefully, we have at least four more months before these babies arrive."

Fergus runs back and grabs my hand. “Mama, we found the perfect tree. Come see it!”

I laugh and walk as quickly as I can. I see a tree that has to be 7 feet tall. “Wow, Fergus. This tree is lovely.”

“Oui. I cannot wait to decorate it.”

I lean into Jamie. “Babe, this seems big for our space.”

“Dinna fash. I can make it work because the lad really wants it.”

I nod and lean in to give Jamie a kiss for being so sweet.

Jamie bends down and shows Fergus how to use the saw to cut down the tree. 

After getting the tree strapped to the car, we warm up with some hot chocolate before heading home. Jamie sets up the tree on its stand, but Fergus is disappointed when I tell him we have to wait until tomorrow to decorate so the tree can settle and the branches can come down.

Fergus perks up when we tell him he can pick a movie to watch. He chooses _A Christmas Story_ but falls asleep before it ends. Jamie carries Fergus to bed, and I decide to turn in early. The babies are sapping my energy.

Jamie enters our bedroom and helps me rub lotion on my skin. I've been dealing with itchy skin on my belly. Jamie decides to turn in with me so we can cuddle. 

_______

Sunday morning is peaceful in our household. Jamie cooks a big breakfast, and I work my way through four pancakes and sausages. My appetite has grown over the past month, along with my waistline.

“You sure were hungry, Mama. You ate a pancake for each of you and the babies.”

I laugh as I chew my last bite. “It seems like your father has six babies inside him.”

Jamie smirks and pats his flat stomach. 

Today, we are all excited to finally decorate the tree. This is the first time since my early childhood, where I am celebrating a traditional Christmas. We have compiled an assortment of ornaments. Most came from Lallybroch, which included some Jamie made as a child and others purchased by his parents to celebrate some milestones. We also had a hand-painted ornament of our house that was a gift from the old owner, Dr. Mackenzie.

Fergus rummages through the ornaments. He pulls out one that has a red-headed baby in a pram. “Who is this?”

Jamie takes the ornaments and holds it in his hand. “That was given to me by my parents to celebrate my first Christmas. After I could walk, I hung it on the tree every year.”

Fergus asks about a few other ornaments, including one made with a handprint with googly eyes and a red nose. Jamie takes it and explains, “I made this when I was five years old. I was verra proud of it.” Fergus giggles and places his hand over the print left by young Jamie. “Jeez, you had some big hands at that age.”

I make some popcorn so we can string it with cranberries for the tree, while Fergus cuts out some snowflakes for the windows. After Jamie places the tree lights, we exchange some new ornaments we purchased. We had a custom-made ornament with all of us to celebrate our first Christmas together.

Jamie leans over and kisses me. “We’ll need a new one in 2020 with three more bairns.”

I smile and rub my belly, wishing these babies were already here celebrating with us.

We give another personalized ornament to Fergus for his martial arts.

“Go ahead and hang these on the tree, Fergus.”

I give Jamie an ornament to celebrate him becoming a doctor. In turn, he gifts me with an ornament with the word _Sassenach_ on it and another one that has our wedding vows. 

Fergus surprises Jamie when he says he made a few Christmas ornaments. He had wound strings around action figures, including Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Darth Vader, and Princess Leia.

We laugh. Fergus explains, “Dinna fash, Da. We have doubles of all of these characters.”

Jamie places Fergus on his shoulders to place the star on the tree and to decorate the top branches. Once he brings him down, Fergus turns off the room lights while Jamie turns on the tree lights. We all are impressed by our first Christmas tree. 

“It’s so beautiful. Thank you, Mam and Da, for giving me the best Christmas of my life. I’ve never had a real live tree before.” Jamie pulls me and Fergus into a hug. 

_____________

For dinner, we have a hearty Scotch broth that Jenny made us. It includes turnips, leeks, carrots, and dried peas with pearl barley in lamb stock. We let Fergus stay up late to finish watching the fourth _Harry Potter_ movie.

“What did you think of that one, Fergus.”

“It was scarier than the other three, and I was sad that Cedric died.”

I nod my head. “Let’s get you to bed.”

Jamie tells me he has a few things to do before turning in. I give him a kiss goodnight and head upstairs with Fergus.

Later, I feel Jamie get on the bed, trying not to wake me.

“I’m still awake.”

Jamie leans over and kisses my lips and touches my belly. “Are the bairns keeping ye up?”

“Not tonight. I find it hard to sleep without you beside me.”

He kisses my neck and massages my back. I slowly drift off to sleep.

____________

The following weekend has Jamie tied up at Lallybroch while his new gym equipment is being set up. I'm beyond pleased once it’s done. Now I just hope Jamie doesn’t find a reason to go downstairs. 

Jamie and I were off the week of Christmas, so we used that Monday (Christmas Eve Eve) to do some last-minute shopping for Fergus and to get a coffee grinder for Ian and Jenny. The crowds were out in full force in Inverness. I found Jamie being very protective of my belly as we move through the people and displays.

“Ye feeling okay, babe?”

I snuggle into Jamie’s neck. “I’d love to grab a bite to eat before we head home.”

We stop in a cute café for lunch. Sliding into a booth, Jamie chooses to sit right next to me. It seems like we can never get enough of each other. I order a large salad, and Jamie gets some fish and chips. 

After our food is served, I’m not so happy with my salad, so I sample some of Jamie’s food. He playfully smacks my fingers when I go in for my fifth chip. “Hey. Ye should have gotten an order of yer own.”

“Now why would I do that when my husband is usually such a great sharer.” I give him a smooch on the mouth as I grab another chip and dip it in ketchup. 

He notices I have not eaten much of my salad, so he switches our plates. I smile at him and eagerly consume the rest of his meal. 

_______

The following evening, we celebrate our first Christmas Eve as a family. Fergus is so impatient for his presents; he volunteers to go to bed early so the night will pass more quickly in slumber.

Jamie rubs my belly. "Sassenach, I was sad to learn Fergus no longer believes in Santa."

“Me too, but you’ll have many years to come with the triplets.” I smile as I imagine a red-headed Santa. “Tis true. I played Santa one year when wee Jamie was two. He cried something terrible.”

I fall asleep on the couch and wake up to Jamie, laying out the presents under the tree. He brings in Fergus' new bike that was hidden in the garage.

"Sorry, I was not awake to help you."

He cuddles into me and kisses my head. "Dinna fash, ye need yer sleep. Do ye want to open up one of yer presents now?"

I nod, and he hands me a box. I unwrap it and discover a sheer negligée. _Oh, it's crotchless_.

I lean over and kiss him. "Jamie, this is lovely." I look at it closely and realize it will fit me through most of my pregnancy. I rub his thigh and wish I had the energy to wear this tonight.

He whispers in my ear, "Fergus is staying over at Lallybroch tomorrow."

I smile. "Is he now?"

"Aye, we will have lunch, and then we can come home and have a wee nap and a quiet dinner."

"Mmmm." _I eagerly awaited that nap._

"I had to agree to take Maggie and wee Jamie on the 26th."

I laugh. "That seems fair."

"Let's get to bed. I'm sure Fergus will be waking us early."

It’s 7 am when I open my eyes to my sweet boy. After we are all downstairs, Fergus tears through his presents, and rides his new bike in the hallway. Afterward, he asks if I can show him how to use the microscope later and tells Jamie he can’t wait to build his model rocket.

"Fergus, how about we give yer Mam her presents."

Fergus goes to the tree and pulls out a few packages. He gives me a large box and kisses my cheek. "This is from me."

I smile at the amount of wrapping paper that was used on the gift. Fergus obviously did the job himself. I remove the paper and hand it to Jamie. I open the box to find three decorated wine bottles.

I hold back the tears in my eyes long enough to pull Fergus into a hug. I whisper in his ear, "Thank you, sweetheart. These are beautiful." I kiss him on the forehead.

He blushes and says, "You can use them to water the plants in the house. Aunt Jenny helped me."

I turn the bottles over and admire his work. " I love the design.” 

Fergus takes another gift from the pile and hands it to Jamie. "Merry Christmas, Da."

Jamie opens the larger of the two gifts and pulls out a t-shirt that says: _Yoda Best Dad Ever_ and a key chain with a lightsaber that reads: _Keys to the Death Star_.

Jamie laughs. "Lad. These are wonderful."

Fergus hugs Jamie. I soon pull Fergus into the couch, and we cuddle as we look at the presents.

Jamie hands me a present. I slowly unwrap it to find a ruby teardrop pendant necklace with diamonds and matching earrings.

I put my hand to my mouth and lean over and kiss Jamie. “Thank you, darling. These are gorgeous. They must have cost a fortune.”

“I saw them and knew they were meant for ye, Sassenach. Try them on for me. Dinna fash about the cost. The jeweler is a family friend and gave me a good deal.”

Jamie moves my hair to clasp the necklace around my neck. I put on the earrings, and Jamie takes a picture. I keep picking up the ruby to admire it. 

I wipe a few stray tears and give Jamie another kiss. I clear my throat and announce, "Time for Mam to give Da her present." I stand up and pull on Jamie's hand. "Follow me."

I lead them to the basement door. "Go on, Jamie. Your presents down there." Fergus pushes on Jamie in eager anticipation of the gift.

Jamie squints his eyes as he tries to figure out what could be downstairs. He flips on the light and rushes down the stairs.

I hear him yell, "Sassenach, what have you done." I meet his eyes and see the love behind them. He walks around and admires the treadmill, elliptical, recumbent bike, rowing, and weight machines.

"When did you do all of this?"

I laugh. "It took some planning, but they painted and put in the flooring when you were at the medical seminar, and Ian kept you busy last weekend so they could set up the machines."

He hugs me tightly. Fergus is too busy lifting some free weights to giggle, so he gives me a deep kiss.

"Sassenach, thank you, mo chridhe. I love the inspirational quotes. I can’t wait to use it.”

As he wipes a stray curl behind my ear, I lean in for a tender kiss. "I'm pleased you like it. I will need it myself after the babies arrive."

He turns me away from Fergus' gaze so he can fondle my bum. "I'll be yer personal trainer."

"Mmmm. I think you'll be needed for babysitting duty."

He laughs as he leaves to try out the treadmill. I take some pictures to share with Jenny. 

We have lunch at Lallybroch, and Jamie eagerly tells them all about his new gym, and I show off my jewelry. Fergus plays with wee Jamie's Legos that we bought him, and they all join Maggie to play with her new kitchen.

I hug Jenny and thank her for helping Fergus with my gift and for watching him tonight. Kissing the kids goodbye, Jamie and I walk hand in hand to the car. Once I have my seatbelt on, he looks longingly in my eyes and brings my hand to his mouth. "Sassenach, ye outdid yerself with my gift. I have one more gift for ye that I think ye'll like."

"Jamie. Your love is the only gift I'll ever need."

"Me too, Sassenach. But, I promise ye. My love will be part of this gift."

He drives slowly as the snow falls around us. I eagerly anticipate his gift and feel the wetness growing between my thighs as I think about the negligée he already gave me. I’m thankful I wore a woolen dress with knee-high stockings and no panties. I absently rub my legs together. This does not go unnoticed because I soon feel Jamie's fingers dance beneath my dress at a stoplight, and he groans when he finds me bare. His talented fingers make me wetter and wetter with every passing stroke. He locates my clitoris almost instantly, and I arch my back and moan loudly.

Coming to my senses, I remove his fingers. "Jamie, that feels really good, but you need to pay attention to the road."

He nods and licks his fingers and he smiles when he hears me gasp. When we pull into our garage, he quickly exits the car and opens my door. He pulls me up and draws me into a kiss.

Jamie is an excellent kisser. He knows just how much tongue to use, when to pull back, how tight to hold me so that I feel cradled by him rather than trapped. 

I always feel a bit disoriented when he feasts on my mouth, becoming hyper-sensitive on every part of my body. Jamie pulls me close, and I wrap my arms around him and press my hard nipples to his chest. He seems to like that, judging by the erection nudging my groin.

His hand slides to the small of my back, and I arch against him. Wrapping one leg around his hips, I squeeze his erection between my thighs. He unbuttons the front of my dress, and I moan into Jamie's mouth as he teases my nipple with his fingers. He breaks the kiss, teeth scraping my chin as he trails kisses down my neck.

Jamie lifts my breasts out of my bra and pushes them together, pulling them above the surface so he can taste them. My fingers play in his hair as he licks and sucks on me. My clit throbs as I grind against his cock.

Jamie grips my arse with both hands and recaptures my mouth. I didn't realize we were moving until we were at the front of the car. He lifts me onto a workbench, and his body fits between my legs; his mouth is at the perfect height to continue worshipping my nipples. His hands run up my thighs as he kisses a line from my breasts to my navel. 

"Lie back," he rasps. 

My pulse flutters as I recline. _I can’t believe we’re doing this in the garage._ Jamie hooks his hands beneath my knees and spreads them. Biting my knuckle, I count my heartbeats and wait for him to touch me where I need it most. He moves my dress above my thighs. 

Jamie's tongue draws a warm trail from my opening to my clit. I feel the salacious hum that follows as he teases my clit, circling it a few times before closing his lips around it. I moan loudly, emboldened that no one is around to hear me.

He takes his time building me slowly with every lick, suck, and swirl of his tongue. I play with my breasts, intensifying my pleasure. Jamie watches from between my thighs, his gaze dark and hungry. 

That look was enough to propel me towards the point of no return. Just a few more licks and every muscle in my core tightens as my clit pulses. Sweet and intoxicating pleasure like undeniable whiskey in my veins, gushes from my core as I come and scream his name. The hard nub where all that glorious sensation stems from beats rapidly beneath Jamie's tongue. I feel his hands on my thighs, keeping me from crushing his head. 

The grin on his face as he rises to kiss my stomach makes my heart flutter. I sit up, wrapping my arms around his shoulders as he guides me off the table. We kiss, sucking his tongue; I feel his cock shudder. I reach down and undo his pants, sliding my hand into the waistband and enclose his cock with my fist. Jamie groans as I stroke him. His hands are everywhere; behind my neck, in my hair, down my arms and back. All the while, he thrusts into my fist in time with my motions. 

"Christ," he rasps, "You make me so fucking hard." 

I imagine his cock thrusting into me with the same care and determination with which he'd pleasured me with his mouth.

He nips my earlobe. "Sassenach, let's go somewhere more comfortable so I can give you my present."

We practically run to our bedroom. I sit on the edge of the bed and watch Jamie pull a gift bag from his dresser. He hands it to me; I eagerly peer inside. Removing the tissue paper, I find a purple box that says, _Lelo,_ and a bottle of lube. I carefully open it and find a black silicone toy in the shape of a ring, but I'm not sure what it is. I look at Jamie and raise my eyebrows. I pull out the brochure, which states:

_For connoisseurs of sex, TOR™ 2 is the most sophisticated vibrating couples' ring in the world, offering you both the most thrilling and intense pleasures..._

I smile. "Jamie, how exactly does this work."

He pulls down his pants and boxers. "It fits around my cock, like this." He puts some lube on the toy and slides it around his hard cock, so the vibrating end is against his pubic bone. 

I laugh because he looks ridiculous. "Have you ever used one before?"

"Nope." He removes my dress and the rest of his clothes. I palm his beautiful cock when he gets close enough. Groaning, he releases my hand and shifts us back on the bed.

I could taste the sweet desire in his kiss as he gently slides his tongue against mine. He traces my jaw with his thumb, which sends shivers down my spine. I can sense his urgency, and I moan when I realize how this will work. Grasping my ankles, he brings my legs up and over his shoulders, then positions his cock at my folds. I can see the bulging of his veins and the constriction of his cock.

I lightly massage him. "Jamie, how does it feel?"

"God, Sassenach. It's indescribable. I can't wait to be inside you. The best part is, it will delay my orgasm so I can make you come multiple times before I explode."

"Mmmm. Let's get started then."

"Sassenach, on the sides, you will see buttons that are '+' and '-.' They control the vibrations."

The vibrations start when I press the '+' button. Jamie groans, and I giggle when I see his whole cock is pulsating. I hit the button a few more times, and Jamie takes a few teasing swipes across my clit, before he thrust into me. I am so wet from my earlier orgasm; he has no trouble seating himself to the hilt. I shudder when the vibrating part of the ring hits my clit. "Ugh, Jamie. I feel like I have my rabbit vibrator in me. MOVE."

His cock radiates heat, unlike my toy. My inner muscles grip him, which causes him to move faster. The dual sensation has me hurtling towards my orgasm. His abs flex, and his hands tighten around my ankles as he thrusts into me in short, powerful bursts. Jamie curses, and my body tenses. "Oh, God, Jamie!" I come hard around him. 

Jamie lets my legs fall to the side. He leans down and licks me from my chin to my ear. He whispers, "Ye're gorgeous when ye're screaming my name, do you know that?"

He flips us over before I can respond. Our connection does not break, but I have to rise above him to keep my over-sensitive clit off the vibrator. Jamie leans against the headboard and rubs my back to soothe me. Soon enough, he pulls me hard against him. 

"Oh, fuck," I scream again. He laughs loudly. The toy is pressed tightly between our bodies; the vibrations were shooting through me. "Oh, Christ, Jamie, please." I wasn’t sure if I was begging him to stop or to keep going. 

I shift above him, bracing myself on his shoulders as I move up and down his cock. Soon he is thrusting me from below, pushing deep inside me. I groan and pull him away from the headboard so I can wrap my legs around him, keeping the delicious vibration tight against me as I move in a figure eight. 

Jamie palms my arse, moving me back and forth on his hard cock. He nips my bottom lip, and I groan, his hips still moving, as my fingernails dig into the grooves of his back. I want to tell him how much I love his cock, but my voice doesn't cooperate, so I whimper and arch towards him. My legs pull him in tighter with every thrust.

Suddenly, he's pulling me hard against him, so I can't escape the vibration; I feel him reach down between my legs to push a button on the ring. The toy suddenly vibrates harder, and I come again, crying out desperately. He holds himself inside me, grinding but not thrusting, and just as I begin to come down again, he pushes the button once more, sending the toy to its highest setting.

I want to scream, but the mind-blowing sensations overcome me. My mouth opens, but I can only whimper and shudder deeply as my muscles seize up, and my clit expands. Tears are streaming down my face. "Ahhhh. Ahhhh." I repeat as my inner muscles spasm around him.

Jamie thrusts again, and he whispers, "Sassenach." 

"Oh, Jamie," I whine, letting my breath wash across his cheek. My legs tighten around his waist again as I whisper, "Come inside me, Jamie. I want to feel you."

He bends his head, resting his temple against mine. "I love you, Sassenach." Thrusting again. “O Dhia, tha gaol agam ort." And then he comes; the warm sensation inside me is accompanied by a deep groan from within Jamie's chest. For the fifth time, my internal muscles constrict and milk him. When he stills, I turn off the vibrator but continue to hold him close, buried inside me.

"That was amazing," I breathe.

He chuckles in my ear. "I knew you'd like it."

I laugh softly. "You were so right."

Jamie finally pulls out of me, and I sigh at the lost connection. He gets up and cleans the toy, and places it in his top drawer. He gets into bed, and we cuddle together and take a well-deserved nap before dinner.

I wake before him and put on my new negligée along with a t-shirt and leggings. After dinner, I surprise him with Round 2. All in all, our first Christmas together was spectacular!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to all you lovely readers who continue to read my little story. 😘 to everyone who takes the time to leave me feedback. I wish I could respond to all of you but grad school is kicking my ass so I opt to save my free time to write more chapters. I know you all understand. Your feedback provides the motivation I need to write. 
> 
> Btw - I can definitely recommend the Tor 2. My bf and I love it!


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter finds J/C shopping for their nursery and celebrating their son's birthday and adoption.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like a broken record but thank you all for the wonderful feedback. I can't believe my first fic is already at 25 chapters. I think we have a few more chapters before I do a time jump to make things a bit more interesting.

The New Year comes in with a bang as we celebrate Hogmanay at Lallybroch. Jamie had previously promised not to drink in front of me during my pregnancy, but I gave Jamie a pass to drink to his heart’s desire tonight. He has a few drinks but remains sober so he can look after me. 

The following day, Jamie is very serious about following the Highland custom of _saining_ (or blessing) of the house and livestock. The ritual involves the drinking of water believed to be magical. Jamie sourced the water from the river, where we swam on our first date.

Jamie takes a sip of water and offers me the glass. “Drink up, Sassenach.”

I take a large gulp of water. Wiping my mouth, I pass the glass to Fergus. 

“Da, is this water really magical?”

“Aye, it will keep us safe this year.” With that assurance, Fergus holds the large glass to his lips and drinks.

Jamie takes the glass back. With a smirk in my direction, he dips his fingers in the water and flicks some on my face.

I wipe the water off. “You could have warned me, darling.”

Jamie laughs and sprinkles water on Fergus’ hair, which causes the lad to giggle. I take the glass from Jamie and dump water over his head.

Jamie comes behind me, lifting and twirling me around as he kisses my neck. I scream, “Put me down before I break your back.”

“Ach, ye’re light as a feather.” He puts me back on the ground and smacks my bum. “Hey.” I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss his lips. We break apart when we hear Fergus giggle.

Fergus and I follow Jamie around the house and barn, watching him sprinkle water in various places. Jamie whispers to Fergus before he starts the second part of the ceremony. Fergus proudly holds a juniper branch while Jamie lights it on fire.

Jamie takes the branch and spreads the smoke in and around our homestead. I cough with the smoke in the house, and Jamie rushes to open the doors and windows to let in fresh air. _God, I hope we have good luck this year._

_________

On January 3rd, we are back at work and school. Geillis is helping two days a week at the medical practice, and we have hired another doctor, Silas McGavin, to make it easier for Jamie to take time when the babies arrive. 

The first Friday of the year has us taking the day off to attend my OBGYN appointment and to start shopping for the nursery. Our doctor says I’m progressing nicely, although I raise my concern over my weight gain. 

“Claire, you’re right where you need to be. I want you to gain between 45 and 60 pounds during your pregnancy. It’s what you need to do to keep the babies healthy.”

I cringe at hearing the weight I’m supposed to gain but do know I need to be able to nourish my babies, so I nod my head and give Jamie a soft smile.

We leave the doctor’s office and head to _Inverness Pram Centre_. 

“Jamie, this store we’re going to has more than prams, right?”

“Aye. Jenny bought all of her nursery furniture there. She offered to give us some things, but I ken they will have more bairns, so I told her we would be fine.”

My mind drifts away, thinking about what I will look like if my weight increases by 40% to 50%. Unbeknownst to me, we arrive, and Jamie opens my door and gently tugs me out of the car.

We enter the store and see the showroom with all of the furniture. Jamie excitedly pulls me along to look at everything. A salesperson approaches us. “Hello, my name is Sara. Please let me know if I can help you with anything.”

“Aye. I’m Jamie, and this is Claire. We’re expecting triplets in April, so we have loads of things to get.”

“Wow. Congratulations.”

I blush as Sara looks at my belly and says, “My sister has quadruplets.” I gasp, and she laughs. “There are cribs dividers that will allow you to have multiple babies in one crib until they get to the point where they move around.”

She shows us the dividers and puts two in one crib to see how three babies could manage to sleep there. “In the first six months, my sister had two cribs in their bedroom, instead of multiple bassinets. Now, the babies are sharing a room.”

I nod, finding the information useful. She leaves us to look around. 

“Jamie, I like the idea of having one crib in our room.” I point out a white crib that I like. We decide on a matching changing table and a dresser.

We go over to look at the high chairs. I can’t imagine having three of them in our dining room. Sara appears and senses my anxiety. She hands us a catalog. “This company makes things for multiples, including high chairs and strollers.”

We thumb through the pages and see a stroller we like. Next, we look at the dining tables that have built-in seats. 

“Jamie, the babies won’t be eating solid food until they're at least four months old, so I think we should wait on deciding about high chairs versus a table.”

Sara has one more thing to show us. “This is a monitor that the baby wears around its foot so that you can track their heart rate and oxygen level. This gave my sister comfort when the babies, who were born prematurely, were asleep.”

We look at the monitor, which also comes with an optional camera. “Jamie, have you ever heard of this?”

“No, but it looks interesting. There is an app for the phone. Sara, can the app be set for multiples?”

“Yes, you both can have the app on your phone and can flip between the babies. Depending on your nursery set up, you may not need three cameras. You get a base for each monitor that lights up green when all of the vitals are normal and red when there is an issue. You will also get an alert if there is a problem.”

“I really like this. We will figure out the nursery, and then we will be back to purchase these.”

Before we leave the store, we buy clothes, sheet sets, and order a stroller, three cribs, mattresses, two changing tables, two dressers, and a double bassinet.

Jamie opens the car door for me after we place our items in the trunk. Our hands gravitate to each other on the ride home.

“Jamie, can you tell me your top names?”

“How about Dalhousie if it’s a boy?”

I blink my eyes rapidly. “What?”

“Dalhousie. Tis a strong Scottish name.”

In a soft voice, I say, “Um. That sounds like a sneeze, Jamie.”

Jamie frowns at me.

“Well, I guess if your heart’s set on it, we could consider it for a middle name.”

He squeezes my hand and laughs. “I’m joking, Sassenach. What do you think about William Alexander Lambert Fraser?”

I smile. “Oh Jamie, thank you for thinking of Lamb. I love that we can honor your brother and also use one of your middle names.”

Jamie asks, “What are your top girl names?”

“Well, I was thinking, Brianna Ellen Fraser.” 

“I like Ellen, but Brianna? Not sure about that one.”

“Come on, Jamie, it’s the male version of Brian, and you didn’t choose that name for our son.”

“Fair point, lass. What about the other name?”

“Julia Geillis Fraser. I wouldn’t be here without those two women.”

Jamie raises my hand to kiss my knuckles. “That’s lovely. If we are lucky enough to have another son down the road, we can name him Henry after your father.”

I groan. “Jamie, you have a lot of faith in me.”

“Sassenach, in the end, we never lost faith, and that’s why we’re both here now.”

_______

The next few weeks are a blur as we prepare for Fergus’ birthday and adoption. We have been approved by the local council and have filed a petition with the court. 

Fergus takes the day off from school for the court hearing. He looks so handsome in his new navy-blue suit.

“Mam, do I have to wear this tie? It’s choking me.”

I laugh at my overly dramatic child. “Sweetheart, really, it’s not, but you don’t have to wear it.”

Jamie comes down in a matching suit with no tie. I smile and shake my head. 

“Sassenach, ye look lovely in yer new dress.”

“Thanks, darling. I feel like an elephant and couldn’t fit into my other dress clothes.”

Fergus takes my hand. “Mam, you’re beyond lovely.”

I take his face in my hands. “Fergus soon to be Fraser. You are such a sweet talker.” I give him a quick kiss.

“Mam, did you know elephants are pregnant for close to two years. I bet your glad you’re human.”

“Lad, I’m beyond thankful I’m human.”

“Let’s go, ye two. Jenny and Ian will meet us at the courthouse.”

On the drive, I notice that Fergus looks anxious, and for some reason, I feel some nerves as well. Jamie gives us both a reassuring smile.

“Lad, are ye excited for yer party tonight at Lallybroch?”

I see Fergus’ thousand-watt smile. “Yes, Da. All my friends will be there, but I’m most excited about the surprise you and Mam have for me. Can you give me a hint?”

I look at Jamie to let him answer. “Well, Fergus. Ye’ll need to take a long journey to enjoy yer present.”

I see Fergus scratch his head in the rearview mirror. “Hmm. That’s a perplexing riddle.” 

“Oooh, good use of your vocabulary word, Fergus.” 

He beams as he rubs his chin in consternation. “How big is my gift?”

“Verra big.” I giggle, and Fergus squints his eyes, trying to figure it out.

We pull into the garage at the courthouse. Jamie puts on his suit jacket and helps Fergus into his coat. I walk around and take Fergus’ hand in mine as we walk into the building. After passing through the metal detectors, we see Jenny and Ian at the elevator.

Jenny gives Fergus and me a quick hug while Jamie chats with Ian. “We need to go to the fourth floor to Judge Ned Gowan’s courtroom.”

We gather in the elevator, and I run my fingers through Fergus’ curls. Jamie takes my hand as we enter the courtroom and sit at the back and wait to be called. I see Fergus look around the room, and I pull him into a hug to calm both our nerves.

Finally, the clerk calls our names, and we go and stand before the judge and are sworn in. Fergus’ caseworker is there too. Thankfully we had prepared Fergus that the judge needed us to agree we would only tell the truth.

“Good morning. I see here we have Dr. and Mrs. Fraser, who have petitioned the court to adopt young Fergus.” The judge clears his throat and continues. “Now, Fergus, have you enjoyed living with your foster parents?”

Fergus’ eyes get big, and I nudge him to answer. “Oui, I mean yes, Sir. I love living with my Mam and Da.”

“That’s good. What kinds of things do you like to do?”

“Well, I really like to ride horses. I take lessons, and my Da says I’m a fine horseman.”

Jamie smiles at Fergus, and the judge laughs.

“I also take Jui Jitsu to learn to defend myself, and Mam wants me to learn an instrument, so I take piano. But, what I love more than anything is learning about space, and I want to be an astronaut when I grow up.”

The judge smiles. “It’s nice to hear you have so many interests and that your parents have seen that you have plenty of extracurricular activities. Now, I just have a few questions for Dr. and Mrs. Fraser.”

Jamie and I look eagerly at the judge.

“Are you both aware that adopting Fergus will be a lifelong commitment?”

We both answer in the affirmative. “You also are aware that you will be equally responsible for Fergus if your marriage should end?”

I look at Jamie, and we smile at the absurdity of the question, but in unison, we answer, “Yes.”

“Fine, fine. One more question. Can you confirm that you intend to provide Fergus with a loving home and that you will care for him as much as you will your biological children?”

I say forcefully, “Completely.” Jamie says, “Absolutely.”

“Wonderful. Come up here, and I will sign the decree of adoption for Fergus Claudel Mackenzie Fraser.”

Jamie and I hug Fergus. We all go up and stand with the judge, and Jenny snaps a few pictures. Jamie brushes a few stray tears from my eyes. The judge lets Fergus bang his gavel before we leave the courtroom.

I feel so relieved that Fergus is finally our son, and no one can take him away from us.

Jamie kisses me and Fergus goodbye and heads off with Jenny and Ian. He will help them decorate for the party that will take place after school lets out.

Once we get in the garage, Fergus screams, “Yippee.” I laugh and pull him along to the car. 

Before we get in, I feel a sharp pain in my belly. Fergus looks concerned, “Mam, are you okay?”

I take his hand and place it on my stomach. He jumps when his hand vibrates. “Jeez. It feels like the babies are playing football in there. I hope they don’t all decide to kick the ball at once.”

“Me too, son.”

We arrive home and have an hour before the party. Fergus changes into more comfortable clothes while I sit down on the couch to rest. I must have fallen asleep because Fergus is shaking me awake. “Mam, we’re going to be late for my party.”

“Sorry, sweetheart. Your sisters and brother are sapping my energy.” I shuffle to the bathroom to freshen up, and we head to Lallybroch. Fergus feels so grown up that he can finally sit upfront. That reminds me that Jamie still needs to find a new car that can seat six of us.

Fergus helps me out of the car and holds my hand as we enter the house. We hear them yell, “Surprise.” Fergus blushes when he sees all of the decorations and a banner that says _Happy Birthday & Adoption Day!_”

Fergus immediately sees his old foster mother, Miss Simmons, and goes over and hugs her. We are so pleased she could make it to the party. She also brought Fergus’ foster siblings.

Next, he is greeted by friends from school, his riding class, and Jiu-Jitsu. In total, there are 25 kids here. They spend the first part of the party making slime to take home. I pull Jenny aside and give her a hug of gratitude. Jamie quickly ushers me to the couch and rubs my aching back. 

Ian brings a couple of slices of pizza and some beverages to tied us over. Geillis and John sit down and congratulate us on the adoption. I’ve not seen John since the wedding. 

John asks, “How are you feeling, Claire?”

I smooth my hand over my enormous belly. “Not too bad considering I have three babies kicking my vital organs.”

He laughs, and I grimace. John senses my discomfort and offers, “I’m happy to help you whenever you need it. I took a class on massage to alleviate pregnancy discomfort. Remind me, how far along are you?”

“I’m 26 weeks. My back has been killing me, but how can you do a massage when I can’t lie on my stomach?”

“After I took the class, I invested in this cushion.” He shows me a picture on his phone of a body cushion that has a place for the breasts, belly, and head to rest.

“Oooh. When are you free?”

“I can come over next week; I’ll email you my schedule.”

Jamie smiles and pats John on the back. “Ye’d be doing us a great favor. I hate to see her in pain.”

I nod and stand to kiss John and excuse myself to the restroom. I feel like I have to pee every 15 minutes.

When I return, the kids have congregated around Fergus. Everyone joins in to sing happy birthday. Our sweet boy is smiling and blushing the entire time. Jenny serves the cake, which has a spaceship on it, along with ice cream.

Fergus already has so much; we told the parents that they could donate to Horse Rescue Scotland instead of gifts. 

I’m about to fall asleep by the time the party ends. Fergus hugs his aunt and uncle, and I thank them for hosting the party. 

Jamie and Fergus hold my arms as we walk to the car. Breathing in the cold air has given me my second wind. “Did you enjoy your party, sweetheart?”

“Oui, this has been the best day of my life.”

“Ours too, lad.” I walk slowly into the house, and Jamie pulls off my jacket and ushers me to the couch. Fergus comes and sits beside me and leans in to hug me.

“You tired, Mama?” 

I nod and yawn. Jamie comes out with the envelope. He sits on the coffee table in front of us.

“Fergus, yer Mam and I have a gift for ye to celebrate yer 11th birthday and yer adoption day.”

He hands Fergus the envelope, which he quickly tears open. He pulls out a certificate for Space Camp along with a brochure. He opens it up, and his eyes light up. 

“Oh my God, I’m going to go on a mission to the International Space Station.”

“Aye, ye’ll learn all about aerospace and have an opportunity to train as an astronaut.”

Fergus’ excitement was palpable. “Wow. When do I go?”

“In August. We had planned to all go to the United States while ye attend camp, but that will be difficult with three four-month olds. So, we’ve arranged for Murtagh to take ye. He will go and visit my Aunt Jocasta while ye spend the week at camp.”

Fergus frowns. “I don’t want to go without you.”

I take his hands. “Aw, Fergus. We’d love to go with you. We’re just not sure how the babies would do on a plane. We can re-evaluate that decision after your brother and sisters arrive, and we see how things go.”

Fergus hugs me, and I pull in Jamie. “Thank you for Space Camp and for adopting me. I love you both so much, and I can’t wait to be a big brother.” He leans down and whispers to my stomach. “Now, babies. You need to be well-behaved so that you can come with me.”

We laugh. Jamie and Fergus pull me off the couch and up the stairs. After seeing Fergus to bed, I make my way to our room with my hand on my back. Jamie heads outside to see if a package he’s been waiting for was delivered.

I hear him race down the hall, and I see a big bag in his hand. “Sassenach, according to my research, this here is the best pregnancy pillow out there.”

He removes the pillow from the bag and lays it on the bed. “That’s a huge pillow, Jamie. I’m willing to try anything.”

I change into my pajamas, and Jamie helps me get situated on the pillow. He pulls out an ice pack and puts it on my lower back. I sigh.

“Ye need to stop sleeping on yer back. I’ve read that will make it worse.”

I snuggle into the pillow. “This feels like heaven, Jamie. Thank you for being so sweet.” He leans down and kisses me. Soon enough, I’ve fallen asleep.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some worrying time for the babies.

Waking up to silence, I remember it's Saturday and settle back in bed. I realize it’s the first time I’ve slept through the night in the past three months. I’ll have to thank Jamie properly for my pregnancy pillow. I look at the clock and know Jamie and Fergus are off to a riding lesson.

After I finish my morning routine, I decide to stay in my pjs a little longer. I find a note from Jamie in the kitchen. “Hey, sleepyhead. We left some pancakes, sausages, and fruit in the refrigerator for you. Please eat all of it!”

I smile and heat my breakfast. I dig in after I’ve poured way too much syrup on my meal. “Mmmm. Babies, your Daddy is such a good man. I can’t wait for you to meet him.”

I rub my belly when I feel a stabbing pain. “Now, who has a powerful kick. Is that you, Willie, or maybe it’s Bree and Julia since you two are sharing a tight space.”

I feel an intense cramp. “Fuck, I think you three made me pee myself.” 

I run into the bathroom and see blood on my underwear. It’s not a lot, but I’m freaking out. As I rush up the stairs to change, I call Jamie.

He picks up immediately. “Hey Sassenach, ye finally woke up?”

I’m pacing and trying to calm my nerves. “Jamie, I’m spotting. It’s not much, but I’m scared.”

“Sit tight, babe. I’m on my way.” After we disconnect, I take some calming breaths to try and calm down.

I watch the clock waiting for him. It seems to take forever when, in reality, it was probably only ten minutes. He comes in the front door and immediately yells for me.

I come out of the kitchen and grab onto him. My heart is racing, and I begin to hyperventilate.

“Shhh.” He rubs my back. “Let’s me see how much yer bleeding.”

We head into the bathroom, where I pull down my underwear and see blood on the pad I’m wearing. He asks me to wipe and smiles when he sees that the flow is light.

I start to cry, and he helps pull up my pants. “It’s okay, Sassenach. Ye ken, this sometimes happens, and there is no much blood. Let’s head to the hospital, and I’ll call yer doctor.”

“Where’s Fergus?”

“I was at Lallybroch when ye called. Ian will pick the boys up from riding.”

Jamie helps me get settled in the car and buckles my seatbelt, kissing my temple before he closes the door. I silently pray for the entire ride to the hospital. _Please, God, let the babies be okay_.

When we arrive, Jamie almost carries me inside. My doctor has not yet arrived, so an attending physician immediately orders an ultrasound. My hand tightens around Jamie’s fingers as we hear heartbeats, but I can’t say if it’s two or three. We can see the girls immediately, and I strain my eyes to see any movement.

I’m about to ask if they’re alright when Dr. Stevenson comes into the room. “I hear these babies are giving you some trouble.”

I give her a weak smile, relaxing a bit now that’s she’s here. She takes over and immediately finds William, who is flailing his arms, then she goes back to view the girls more closely. I can see one of their legs moving, but that’s it.

I hold my breath as Jamie asks, “How are they doing?”

Dr. Stevenson looks us in the eyes. “One of the girls is not moving, so we need to do an internal ultrasound. I’m going to check your cervix.”

I begin to sob as Jamie whispers in my ear. “Keep the faith, Sassenach. All of our babies are fighters like their Mam.”

I cringe when I feel the prod of the cold speculum enter me. Dr. Stevenson announces, “Your cervix is closed, which a good sign. I’m going to do a transvaginal or internal ultrasound so we can better see what’s happening with Baby C or the one sitting at the top of your stomach.”

Dr. Stevenson squeezes my hand on the way out. 

Jamie wipes the tears from my eyes and nuzzles his nose against mine as we share a breath. 

“Oh, God, Jamie. My heart couldn’t bear to lose any of them.”

“I ken Sassenach. Let’s take some deep breaths to try and lower yer blood pressure. We need to do this for the bairns.”

I follow Jamie’s breath as we both inhale and exhale slowly. He rubs my belly and says a prayer in Gaelic.

“A Dhia, tha mi a ’guidhe ort. Dìon mo leannan agus ar leanaban." (God, I beseech you. Protect my beloved and our babies)

He kisses me softly. A nurse comes in and tells me my bladder needs to be empty for the ultrasound. Of course, I have to go, so she places a bedpan under me and leaves to give me privacy. Jamie goes to turn, and I hold him tightly to me, needing his touch more than anything right now. 

When I finish, he moves the bedpan and uses a wipe to clean me up. “Sassenach, there is no much blood, and ye’re no dilated. I think everything will be fine.”

I pull him down to kiss me. I whisper in his mouth, “What if one of our girls is in trouble?”

He blinks his eyes, and a stray tear falls and mixes with my own. I move my hand to wipe his eyes, and he tenderly touches my face and rubs our tears into my skin. He pulls back and grabs some tissues from the counter. 

He hands me a few tissues as he blots his tears and blows his nose. I wipe my runny nose and eyes. 

There is a knock at that door, and Dr. Stevenson enters with a new machine. She lifts my legs back in the stirrups and explains that she will stick the probe into me for the transvaginal ultrasound. The doctor puts a protective cover and gel for lubrication on the transducer

and pushes it three inches into my vagina.

We all look at the monitor as she moves the probe around. Dr. Stevenson places her hand on the top of my stomach and pushes a few times. “Look here; your baby girl has woken up from her sleep, so I see all of them moving.”

My eyes close, and my head rests on the table as I let out a deep breath. When I look up, I see Jamie wiping his eye,s and he leans down and es my smiling lips.

A minute later, Dr. Stevenson says, “Claire, I see a mild placenta abruption which usually is not dangerous for a normal pregnancy. It is more concerning with multiples since they put a greater strain on your body overall.”

Dr. Stevenson moves the transducer around and points to the screen. “As you probably know, each baby, if they are not identical twins, will have its own placenta.” 

Jamie and I watch her hand point to three places on the monitor. “You have three placentas, and only one of them is showing a slight detachment. This placenta is tied to Baby C, who may have suffered a shock at the minor interruption in her food and oxygen supply.”

The doctor pulls out the transducer and throws away the cover. After removing her gloves, she announces, “I want to keep you overnight to keep an eye on everything. We’ll do another ultrasound in the morning. If all looks good, I will release you on strict bed rest. I want to start you on steroids in case we have to deliver in the near future. This will help the babies' lungs develop faster, but we’re hoping we can keep these babies in the oven for another month or two.”

My mind swirls with the information, but before I can ask any questions, an orderly arrives to take me to the OB special care ward. I hold Jamie’s hand as I’m taken to my room. My mind flashes back to the memory of a similar journey for my eye surgery, and a shiver runs down my spine.

After I’m situated in my room, we call Jenny to tell her the news and reassure Fergus that all is well. He’ll stay at Lallybroch tonight since Jamie refuses to leave my side.

A nurse comes in and attaches me to blood pressure, oxygen, and fetal monitors. Jamie asks her if there are any dietary restrictions on what I can eat. The nurse says I’m free to eat whatever I want.

“What do ye fancy, Sassenach? I ken the lay of the land since I trained in this hospital. So, tell me yer wishes, and I will grant them.”

I smirk, “You always do. That’s why I love you so much.” I pull him down to give him a grateful kiss. 

He pulls away and asks me again with his eyes. “I’m not sure what I want. Wait, I want a strawberry milkshake. I wouldn’t say no to a big fat juicy burger with all the fixings. Some chips would do as well.”

Jamie is about to open his mouth when I say, “I’m really craving some warm apple pie, and maybe some onion rings.”

Jamie laughs. “That’s a lot of food but . . .”

I frown and interrupt him. “No, you’re right. I should eat better.”

“Babe, ye’ve been eating healthy and are allowed to treat yerself once in a while.”

“Thanks, darling, but I shouldn’t over-indulge. How about I stick with water and just have a junior burger, onion rings, and an apple pie?”

“Alright. Are you good for me to run out and get yer food now?”

“Yes, but please be quick. I don’t like hospitals.”

He gives me a reassuring kiss and leaves. I call Geillis and give her an update. 

“Ach, Claire. I’m so sorry yer bairns are being difficult. Good thing Auntie Geillis gave notice to her boss. That was a surprise for ye, but the bairns ruined it. Ye tell them I’ll have a bone to pick with them when they make their appearance, which I hope is a good way off.”

“Oh, Geil, you’re the best. I’ll know more tomorrow about my schedule but likely will need to stop working.”

“I’m here fer ye, hen.”

“I love you, Geil, and thank you for everything!”

Jamie returns with our food, which I practically inhale since my breakfast was interrupted. Dr. Stevenson checks on me in the evening and announces all is well. A follow-up ultrasound is scheduled for the morning. I ask her to explain what strict bedrest means.

“You’ll be allowed in bed or on the couch and only up to use the bathroom. I want you to avoid stairs, and you should not stand too long. Also, there can be no sexual activities. If everything looks good after the first week, I will consider putting you on modified bed rest, which will give you the ability to move more.”

Once the doctor leaves the room, Jamie gets on the bed and puts his arm around me. “Sassenach, ye need to promise me ye’ll follow all of the doctor’s orders.”

“I know I’m stubborn, Jamie, but I won’t do anything to jeopardize our babies. I just hope they cooperate, or we won’t be having sex for another three months.”

Jamie groans and leans down to my stomach. “Bairns, please do me a solid and stop causing problems for yer Mam. She’ll be miserable if I can’t . . .”

I smack his arm and laugh. “Jamie, do not talk to our children about my sexual needs.”

“Alright. Bairns, Daddy will be miserable if I can’t please yer Mama.”

I pull him up so I can lay on my side and rest my head on his chest. Later, the nurse asks us to separate to check me. 

Jamie sleeps in a chair by my bed. He holds my hand throughout the night. I lay on my side and already miss my maternity pillow. For most of the night, I watch my husband sleep. Even during tough times, I still find him smiling. 

I’m given the all-clear in the morning. There has been no more bleeding, and the placenta abruption has not worsened. Thankfully, all three babies are moving about, and our vitals are normal. I’m scheduled for a follow-up in a week.

Jamie helps me get dressed, and I hug him after I get on my shirt. “I love you, Jamie. I couldn’t do this without you.”

“Me too, Sorcha.” My heart stills at the pet name he only uses on rare occasions.

I kiss him deeply before he helps me into a wheelchair and takes me to the car.

Once we’re home, Jamie carries me from the car to our bedroom. He helps me change into some loungewear.

“Sassenach, let’s talk about what ye’ll need to make yerself comfortable here. I’ve already talked with Jenny, and Mrs. Crook can come and help you out during the week.”

I don’t put up any argument. “I just need to try and keep busy, or I’ll go stir crazy.”

Jamie pulls a notepad and pen out of the side table and hands it to me. “Make yer list, Sassenach, and I’ll bring ye anything ye want.”

He leaves to take a shower, and I compile my list: laptop, iPad, healthy snacks, drinks, parenting books, crossword puzzle books (hard), chargers, playing cards, tissues, mirror, hairbrush, lip balm, lotion, and two-way radio.

And a list of what I want to do: cuddle Jamie, spend time with Fergus, learn to knit, buy things for babies online, learn Gaelic, meditate, organize favorite recipes, research making healthy baby food, binge TV, and watch movies.

Jamie exits the bathroom drying his hair. I smile at him and hand him my lists. His eyes light up, and he gets on the bed and cuddles me. I take a deep breath, and his musky scent calms me further.

He kisses my ear and asks me what I want to eat for lunch. We settle on our comfort food of grilled cheese, tomato soup, and an apple. After lunch, I move on to my side to take a long nap.

When I wake up, it’s starting to get dark. I find items from my list on the bed beside me. There also is an over-the-bed table like they have in hospitals, and I also notice a little refrigerator on my bedside table and open it to find some water, Gatorade, and orange juice. 

I pick up my phone and call Jamie. “Hey, darling. Thank you for bringing everything to me. Is Fergus home?”

Just as I said his name, my sweet boy pops into my room.

“Mama, you’re up. How do you feel?”

I hold up my arms to signal him to hug me. “I slept really well and feel good. Did you have fun with your cousins?”

“Always, but I was worried about you. Is everything going to be okay?”

“Yes, baby. I just need to follow the doctor’s orders and stay in bed. I’m hoping you can help keep me company.”

“Absolutely, Mama. Da told me I need to help you with whatever you need. He is going to bring up a table so we can eat up here with you. I have to go and help bring up chairs. Anything you need while I’m downstairs?”

“No, I just need you and your Dad, and I’ll be good.”

He smiles and leaves. I feel so grateful for my family. My thoughts are soon interrupted by Jamie carrying up a small collapsable table while Fergus brings in two folding chairs. Jamie asks me to be patient as they bring up the meal. 

He sets the table up close to the bed and pulls my table, so it’s in front of me. He lays out a tray that has a chicken mushroom casserole with carrots and a side salad. He gives me a quick kiss, and we all dig in to eat.

“Sassenach, I was thinking for as long as yer on bedrest, we can all eat breakfast and dinner together, and I can probably swing by and have lunch with ye.”

“I’d love the company, but I don’t want to be a burden on you carrying things up and down the stairs.”

“You’d never be a burden, Mama. We’re both strong men and can go up and down the stairs, a thousand times need be.”

My mouth opens in awe of this remarkable 11-year-old. “Thank you, Fergus. I’m so lucky to have you and yer Dad to help me.”

Jamie ruffles Fergus’ hair. “Good lad, taking care of yer mother.”

“Aye, Da. She’s very precious to us.”

I shake my head at my sweet boy. After I’m done, Fergus carries dishes downstairs in a plastic tub.

I yell as he walks out the door, “Sweetheart, be careful on the stairs.”

I look at Jamie. “I can’t believe how incredible you both are to me.”

Jamie comes and gives me a gentle kiss. “You deserve it Sassenach, because you are so kind to us.”

“Maybe to Fergus but not to you, Jamie. I worry that I take too much from you.”

He rubs his hand on my jaw. “Hush now, leannan, ye’ve given yer body and soul for our bairns, and there is nothing more you could do fer me.”

Fergus comes in with a tray of milkshakes that Jamie had picked up from our favorite burger restaurant. “Thank you, Fergus. This is just what I wanted.”

Jamie lays in bed with me, drinking his shake, while Fergus turns on the TV and finds us a movie to watch. We settle on the first _Harry Potter_ movie, which Fergus has not seen.

I snuggle with my boys as we watch the movie. When it’s over, Fergus exclaims that was the best movie he’s ever seen. Jamie continues to argue with him about how _Star Wars_ is a far superior movie as he sees Fergus to bed.

When Jamie returns, I’m in the bathroom. I call out, “Jamie, can ye help me take a quick bath?”

He comes in and turns on the water. Once it’s full, he helps me settle in. I relax while he washes my hair and helps me bathe. Soon enough, I’m out of the water and wrapped in a towel, and carried to bed. I quickly dress, so we don’t arouse our desires, which is hard to do when your naked and married to Jamie Fraser.

Jamie brings me my hairdryer, so my curls won’t be too crazy in the morning. I finally settle down to sleep with Jamie behind my back. The maternity pillow does not allow him to press against me, but his arms are long enough to massage my belly and lull me to sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, readers, I'm surprised my first fic has so many hits. I'm grateful for those who have taken the time to leave me feedback. 😘


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire continues her bed rest, spends quality time with Fergus, and has some fun with Jamie.

On my second day of bed rest, I wake and see french toast, strawberries, and turkey bacon before me. I make a quick stop in the bathroom before Fergus bustles in and kisses me good morning. Jamie follows with some hot tea. Once he pours me a cup, we all sit/lay down for breakfast.

“Sassenach, Mrs. Crook is downstairs. Here is the two-way radio you requested, and Mrs. Crook can be reached on the other one if you need anything. She will be cleaning the house in between and taking care of our laundry.”

“How will Jenny manage without her?”

“Fortunately, Maggie started pre-school, so she is gone in the morning now. I told Jenny that we would look for someone to help ye with the bairns, and we’ll have that person start early. Fiona has a cousin, Emily, who has experience with children that she thinks ye would get along with. I’ve asked her to come around later this week so we can talk with her. I’m also going to ask the company that cleans the office to start cleaning the house starting next week.”

“I’ll call Jenny today and thank her myself.” I notice the time. “Fergus, it’s time to go to school.”

He gives me a peck on the cheek and grabs his backpack. “Don’t get too bored without me, Mama. Bye, Da.”

“Be good, lad.”

Jamie moves my table and lays down next to me. “Sassenach, ye be good today too. Is there anything I can get ye before I leave?”

“Just a few more kisses to get me to lunch.”

A few turns into at least twenty, and then he’s off to work.

Mrs. Crook checks in every hour to see how I’m doing. I’m excited for her to be doing the housework and thank her for coming to help us.

I watch the telly and order some baby clothes online. Geillis drops in at 11 am during her break and says Jamie will be here around 1 pm. Once she’s done eating, she gives me a pedicure.

When she leaves, I decide to take a nap. I wake when I feel soft kisses on my lips. 

“Hey, darling. Any interesting cases today?”

Jamie rubs my back and tells me all about Mr. Edmonds and his gallbladder.

After Jamie departs, I keep watching the clock, willing it to be time for Fergus to be off the bus.

As I wait, I search Twitter for a group for moms on bed rest, and before I get too far, Fergus rushes into the room.

He hugs me and eagerly pulls out a paper from his backpack. “Look what I made in art class. This is my unique solar system.”

“Wow, Fergus, this is fantastic. I love your use of color and shading. Which planet do we live on, and what’s it called?”

He points to the red one. “This is where we would live in my solar system. It’s called Planaid Dhearg, that’s Gaelic for ‘Red Planet.’ It’s a world at peace where everyone gets along, and all parents are good to their children, just like you.”

I pull him close and kiss his cheek. He laughs as I tickle him. “Is that its yellow moon?”

“Oui, it’s called Deimos to honor one of the moons of Mars. Mama, did you know that Mercury and Venus are the only planets that don’t have a moon?”

“Really, I didn’t know that. What about the other planets?”

“Well, Earth, of course, has just one moon, called Luna. Mars has two moons, Phobos and Deimos. Jupiter has a total of 79 moons, Saturn has 82, Uranus has 27, Neptune has 14, and four dwarf planets, including Pluto, have a total of nine moons.”

“You’re such a smart boy and have quite the memory.” I run my hand through his soft curls, “Do you have any homework?”

“No, we had a free period at the end of the day, and I finished it all. Do you want to watch the second Harry Potter movie?”

“Oooh, yes. Why don’t you ask Mrs. Crook to make us a snack, and we can start the movie?”

Fergus leaves and comes back shortly with some celery, peanut butter, and milk.

I cuddle with Fergus while we watch the movie. “Hey, Fergus. I just remembered that I have all of the Harry Potter books. You can read them if you want.”

He nods, and I tell him they are downstairs in the study.

Fergus runs to retrieve the first book. “Mama, can we read this together like we used to?”

“I would love that. We can start before bed tonight.”

Mrs. Crook comes in and tells us she left some vegetable soup and freshly baked bread for dinner. I give her my hearty thanks.

Fergus and I look at some artwork for the nursery online and order a few pieces before Jamie arrives. 

We eat a pleasant dinner together. Fergus reads me the first few chapters of _Harry Potter_ before we send him to bed. 

Tonight, I opt for a quick shower and then a long cuddle with Jamie. “So, how was today, Sassenach?”

“It went better than expected. Really, between my naps and visitors, I didn’t have much time to go crazy.”

“I’m pleased to hear that. Oh, Emily is going to stop by Friday evening. Fiona told me she is 25 years old and was a nanny for the past six years to a family that included four young children. The father was just transferred to London, so she parted with the family reluctantly. I hear they will be providing a glowing reference for her.”

“That sounds promising.”

The rest of the week goes well. I don’t think our house has ever been so clean. It feels odd to host someone in my bedroom, but the minute Emily walks in the door, I feel like I’m greeting an old friend. She’s incredibly sweet and is eager to help us. Her old family had two children in nappies at the same time, so she is not turned off by triplets. Fergus immediately takes a shine to Emily, who also has a fascination with space. 

We tell her we will call her reference, but if that checks out that we want her to start as soon as she can. We are pleased to hear she is available immediately.

That evening, we call her previous employer and could not have heard better things about Emily. The mother cried when she said how much she would miss Emily, and they plan to bring her over for a visit down the road.

I call Emily right away, and we work out her hours and salary. She will come over on Monday and start by making breakfast for everyone. I’m so excited to have someone who is experienced with infants. 

The weekend is full of movies, board games, visits from Jenny and the kids, and lots of love from Fergus and Jamie. 

**__________**

I wake up eager for Monday. Not only is Emily starting today, but we will hopefully get good news at my doctor’s appointment.

We all enjoy the omelets that Emily makes us for breakfast. We spend the morning talking about how she can help me both before and after my labor. I also share my concerns about babies.

“I have no experience with babies. I watched my niece, who just turned three, and that was not easy since she cried all night for her mother. I’m not sure how I will manage three babies at one time.”

Emily smiles. “Well, it’s fortunate you will not be alone. You have a wonderful husband, a son I can tell will be a great big brother, and now you have me. I’m single and more than willing to work extra hours when the babies arrive.”

“Thank you, Emily. You being here has brought me a lot of comfort. I also have two other great women in my life. My sister-in-law, Jenny, and my best friend, Geillis. I’m more fortunate than most mothers out there.”

_______

After lunch, Jamie takes me to my medical appointment. He carries me from the bedroom to the car. When he sets me down, I hold onto his neck to kiss him.

“Thank you, Jamie, for taking such good care of me.”

“Always, Sassenach.”

When we get to the doctor’s office, he drops me by the front door before he parks. I sign in and take a seat in the waiting room. Jamie is soon by my side, holding my hand and trying to calm my nerves. I pick up a copy of _Parents_ and read an article on breastfeeding. I start to wonder about the logistics of feeding three infants.

I feel Jamie shaking my shoulder, telling me they called my name. We are ushered into an exam room where the nurse takes my vitals. Jamie helps me into a paper gown, and I fidget on the table. 

I catch Jamie staring intensely at my face, and I cock my head to question the reason.

He runs his hand down my cheek. “Sassenach, you look verra bonny today.”

I blush and shake my head. “I feel like a beached whale. Did you see I gained five pounds this week? That’s almost 30 pounds in total.”

“Ach, that’s normal by this stage, and ye ken it. Yer glowing, and I couldn’t love ye any more than I do at this moment.”

“You’re so sweet, Mr. Fraser, I could eat you with a spoon. God, I hope we get some good news because I’m really horny right now.”

Jamie laughs, but our conversation is cut short when Dr. Stevenson enters the room.

“Hello, how are you feeling today?”

“I’m doing well. I haven’t had any more bleeding and have followed your orders for strict bed rest.”

“Very good. I see you had a healthy weight gain. I’m glad to see that since you were a bit underweight, to begin with.”

Jamie smirks at me, and when the doctor turns, I stick my tongue out at him.

The doctor puts on her gloves and places my feet in the stirrups. Jamie squeezes my hand as the doctor tells us that my cervix is still closed. 

We are eager to look at the ultrasound and pray there has been no worsening of the placenta abruption.

I feel the cold slide of the transducer for the transvaginal ultrasound. We immediately hear the calming sound of our babies’ heartbeats. We see all three of them shifting around, and today Baby C is very active. Jamie and I breathe a sigh of relief.

“Looks like the bed rest did its job.” Dr. Stevenson removes her gloves. “I’d like you to continue on modified bed rest. I still want you to take it easy, but you can use the stairs once a day, walk as needed for anything essential, eat at the table, lift 10 pounds or less, and you can resume sexual activities, but nothing rough.”

Jamie and I look at each other and smile when she gets to the last part.

“I look forward to seeing you next week. Don’t hesitate to call if you have any concerns.”

Jamie and I check out and make our follow-up appointment. We slowly walk to the car and don’t say a word to each other on the ride home. The sexual tension between us is brimming. When we enter the house, I’m grateful we let Emily leave early since Jamie would be off the rest of the day.

I shriek when Jamie picks me up and walks slowly up the stairs. He gently places me on the bed and starts to remove my shirt. I see him lick his lips when he notices my breasts are spilling out of my bra. He sits beside me and sucks on my bottom lip, and I open my mouth to deepen the kiss. I moan when his tongue glides across the roof of my mouth. Soon he trails kisses down my jaw and lightly licks my nipples before sucking greedily on them.

I push him away. He catches my eye. “Please be gentle; they have been sore lately.” He nods and pushes me back as he continues to kiss down my stomach, taking a moment to whisper a secret to the babies. 

He pulls off my leggings and panties and runs his fingers through my wet core. “Oh, God, Jamie.” He quickens his pace. “Oooh. Shit, I’m about to come.” I feel myself contract around nothing. He continues to softly circle my clit. “Fuck, that was quick.”

As I catch my breath, I feel his tongue slide around my folds. I’m still sensitive but ready for more. Jamie groans, “Sassenach, yer dripping down yer thighs.” I feel his fingers drift to the wetness. My belly is in the way, so I attempt to scoot back so I can lean against the headboard.

Jamie stands and helps me. He quickly moves on the bed and places my thighs over his shoulders. I can now run my fingers in his hair and push him where I need him most. He latches onto my clit, and I begin to move against his mouth. His delicious fingers thrust inside me, and he gradually brings me to release. This time I’m grateful to have something to hold onto as my internal muscles massage his fingers and my fingers pull his hair.

Jamie stands and removes his clothes. He smiles and looks at the mess between my legs. I'm desperate to move things along, so I flip onto my side. Jamie lays down behind me, and I feel his length rub between my cheeks. His hand massages my belly as he bites my shoulder and eases into me. His strokes are unhurried, so I start to move against him. 

He nibbles on my ear. "Sassenach, let's go slow," I whine because I need to come again, but I approve when he gently places his fingers that had just been inside me in my mouth. I suck on them as he thrusts slowly but deeply. I swear I can feel every groove of his cock as he slides in and out. 

“Ooh, Jamie. You feel so good.”

He licks behind my ear in a place that drives me wild. I clench my inner muscles, and Jamie gasps, "Fuck!" He pulls my leg back to open me further. Still content on a leisurely pace, I provide a delicious counterpoint by backing into his casual thrusts. "Mmmm, Jamie."

"Sassenach, I could make love to you like this for hours."

I moan, "I would love that, Jamie, but we only have an hour before Fergus comes home." He continues to rock into me while his hand softly massages my belly. 

"Ahhhh." The tip of his cock keeps hitting my sweet spot. The tingles in my body grow steadily. Absolutely nothing is better than having an orgasm with Jamie’s cock buried deep inside me.

He groans and speeds up his thrusting. "Sassenach, can you come like this?"

"I've never tried it this slow. I may need some help.” I pull his hand from my stomach to my core.

Jamie groans as he continues to push against me. I begin to pant while he taps on my clit. "I'm so close Sassenach," his voice hot in my ear.

"Ahhh, rub me harder." I move my hand to cover his. "God, Jamie. Yes, right there." My muscles start to contract as I writhe against him. 

"Sassenach!" My eyes roll as my head arches back onto his shoulder. I moan, “Jamie, come inside me.” Even before I finish my words, I feel him lengthen and groan his release as I continue to spasm around him. 

We finally still, our bodies covered in sweat. Jamie moves his hand that’s resting between my thighs higher to pull me tighter against him. Neither of us speaks as we wait for our breathing to slow down. He reluctantly releases me from his hold and rolls around to face me. I reach over and smooth his hair off his forehead and meet his gaze.

"Jesus, Jamie. I love it when you take me hard and fast, but long and slow is incredible. 

He growls as he finds my hand stroking him. “Ye said we did no have much time, so ye best stop or wee Fergus may walk in on us.”

I glance at the clock and reluctantly remove my hand. “Let’s take a quick shower before he gets home. Help me up, darling.”

Jamie pulls me to standing, and I run my hand down his chest. 

“No funny business in the shower. We need to follow yer doctor’s orders and make sure ye’re only standing for a short amount of time. And no, me taking ye against the wall would no work either.”

I salute him. “Aye, aye, Sir.”

He smacks my bum lightly, and I grab his hand to walk to the shower.

That evening I join my boys for dinner downstairs. Jamie still insists on carrying me, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

___________

The rest of the week passes slowly as I get used to our new routine. Emily arrives and fixes breakfast before Fergus leaves for school. Her duties will include grocery shopping and making meals, and keeping the kitchen clean. She will handle laundry for Fergus and the babies when they arrive. Generally, she will help with anything I need during her working hours. 

Jamie and Ian spend the weekend painting the nursery a calm grey color. After the paint dries, they lay down the rug and move in two cribs, one large dresser, one changing table, chair, and ottoman. They also hang the artwork I bought online. Four drawings of animals were placed over each crib. 

I sit on the chair with my feet raised on the ottoman and direct the work while reading a new book that Jamie bought, _You’re Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads_. 

Once the nursery is done, Jamie and Ian move the third crib, a changing table, and a double bassinet into our bedroom. We plan to have the babies sleep with us for the first three months. If all goes well, the girls will move into the nursery across from us, and Willie will have a smaller bedroom on the other side of what will become their shared bathroom. 

We thank Ian for his help, and Jamie and I sit in silence as we take in the nursery.

“Jamie, it’s all so real. I can’t believe we will soon go from a family of three to six.”

Jamie caresses my cheek. “Aye. I can’t wait to meet our bairns. I hope they all have your spirit and strength.”

I kiss his lips and run my fingers through his hair. “And I hope they are as kind and sweet as you.”

“And have a sense of humor like wee Fergus.”

“Yes, the best of all of us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My 10-year-old brother is a space nut so I've learned many things over the years from him. The number of moons stuck with me. 😘 to everyone who continues to leave me feedback.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baby shower and lots of sexy times with our couple as they deal with the ups and downs of pregnancy.

The 28th week of my pregnancy, continues on modified bed rest. The highlight of my week is a hot stone massage from one of my best mates, John. Jamie has taken a few hours off so John can give him some pointers in helping me through the rest of my pregnancy. 

Jamie sets up a portable massage table in our bedroom and helps me get situated on the pregnancy cushion, which has an opening for my belly, breasts, and face. I laugh once I get situated, and I hear Jamie chuckle. I’m sure I look ridiculous. He pulls the sheet over me to cover my body.

“God, Jamie. This cushion is really comfortable.”

Jamie opens the door so John can come in. I hear John rubs his hands together and shiver when he starts to massage my neck.

“Claire, tell me what areas you want me to focus on today.”

“My lower back will need the most work and then my neck and shoulders. The muscles in my chest are also very tight, and if you could do your famous face massage, that would be wonderful. My hormones cause me frequent headaches, but nothing like the migraines I used to suffer.”

“Of course. Let’s turn on some of your favorite music. As always, tell me if you want more or less pressure than I’m doing.”  
  
John pulls down the sheet to uncover my back while I listen to the calm sounds of the classical music he has chosen. I sigh when I feel the warmth of the hot stones that John places on my lower back.

I smell eucalyptus oil and luxuriate in the wet glide of John’s magical fingers as he begins to work on my neck. The sensation from the stones and his hands have my body humming.

Jamie is a quiet observer. Now and then, I hear John whisper some instructions to Jamie for future reference. Once John is done with my neck and shoulders, he places new stones on my shoulder blades and removes the ones below. 

He rubs harder on my lower back, and I groan loudly in pain and pleasure. Jamie laughs but catches himself so he doesn’t disrupt my solitude. I giggle because I know I make a similar sound when Jamie pleasures me. John, the consummate professional, doesn’t break his concentration. 

John presses hard on my tailbone, and I whimper in response. He apologizes and begins to pull the muscles rather than knead them. Pure relief pulses through my body as the tension leaves my back with a happy whine emanating from my lips. 

John covers my back and removes the sheet from my legs. He starts on my feet, which I did not realize were sore. Likely because I’ve been off of them for almost two weeks. He finishes with a lovely massage of my legs, paying particular attention to my knees, which have been a little swollen this week.

“Okay, I will step outside while Jamie helps you turn over. You can remove the cushion and just lie flat.”

I let out a massive sigh after John leaves. Feeling ultra-relaxed and more flexible when Jamie helps me sit up. 

“How do ye feel?”

“Very peaceful. John’s a doll for doing this.”

“Aye, he’s a true gentleman.”

Jamie looks at me wantonly as I let the sheet drop, and he sees my hard nipples. He leans down and kisses me as he leans me back on the table. I grab his hand before he can do any intimate massage on me. “You behave, Mr. Fraser, and maybe I’ll reward you later.”

“I’ll count on that Sassenach.”

John comes back in and starts with the facial massage. I can feel all of the tightness, leaving the muscles around my eyes. He ends this part of the massage by pulling on my earlobes, which feels heavenly. Next, he focuses on the muscles around my sternum. 

He explains to Jamie. “Claire has recurring issues with the muscles in her chest from adhesions in her connective tissue. I use a technique for fascia massage that has been successful in the past.”

I feel John push on the tight areas in my chest. The pulling pressure loosens the knots. 

I let out a groan. John comments, “This is painful to endure, but the release of tension here is often euphoric. Isn’t that right, Claire.”

“Yes, you masochistic angel. Ugh. Hurry it up, Grey. I can only stand so much of this.”

He laughs and continues for a few minutes despite my protests. He knows, in the end, I can take a lot of pain, and the result is well worth it. 

Once he finishes, he grabs a towel from the beds and places it over my chest so he can move the sheet covering my belly. Jamie holds the towel to ensure my breasts remain covered. 

I’m a little shy around John since he has not seen my changing body. All of the blood vessels are very close to my skin, so they are a veritable network of veins and stretch marks. 

“John, no one but Jamie and my doctors have seen my unsightly stomach. I find it grotesque.”

“Oh, hush, my dear. It’s nothing of the sort. It’s mother nature at its best.”

I feel warm oil spread over my stomach. John instructs Jamie to take over. Closing my eyes, I groan as Jamie’s warm hands massage me. I secretly wish we were alone so he could go lower. Suddenly, I feel a hard kick, and Jamie jumps back.

“Woah, there was some power behind that.”

“Just think how it felt on the inside. These babies are doing a number on my ribs.”

John laughs and goes to the guest bathroom to wash his hands while I get dressed. After John leaves the room, Jamie pulls me to sitting and steps in between my legs. His hands find their ways to my breasts. I moan when he takes my mouth, and I feel the sensation of the oil on my nipples as Jamie massages them. 

We reluctantly part so Jamie can hand me my clothes. I settle myself back in bed as Jamie folds up the massage table. John comes in, and I pat the bed for him to sit beside me. I envelop him in a grateful hug. “Thank you for the wonderful massage.”

“My pleasure. I hope Jamie paid close attention.”

“I’m sure he did. He’s a quick study when it comes to me.”

John laughs. “I’m so happy for you.” He leans over and gives me a peck on the cheek. “I’m free if you need me in the future.”

“Thank you, darling. Can you email me info on where we can buy that pregnancy cushion?”

“I’ve already sent it to Jamie at his request.”

“Of course, I should have known.”  
  


When John leaves, I turn on my side and take a nap. I wake up when Fergus gets home.

“Hello, sweetheart. How was school?”

“Good. You smell different.”

“Oh, that’s eucalyptus. John came over and gave me a massage to help relieve the pain in my back.”

“Do you feel better?”

“So much better. Come and give me a hug.”

Fergus falls into my arms. I’m glad I can spend this time with him since I know it will be more difficult when the babies arrive.

__________

That evening, I slip off to sleep before I can give Jamie his reward. I wake in the middle of the night and turn to face Jamie. I brush the hair out of his eyes and drift over to kiss his sweet lips. He’s smiling as usual but stays asleep. I move my pregnancy pillow and shift down the bed, being sure to continue to lay on my side. 

I carefully pull down his boxers and groan when I see Jamie’s beautiful cock. I gently massage him from his base to his tip with my hand and pull him toward me to swirl my tongue around his head. I moan when I taste him. He sighs and starts to move, so I put my hand on his thigh to hold him still. 

I knead his balls, which wakes him from his slumber. “A Dhia, Sassenach.” His hand runs into my hair as he tries to restrain his movements. “What are ye doing?”

I laugh. “Well, I must not be doing it right if you have to ask.”

“Oh, yer doing it right.” I rub him a little hard. “Ahhh, fuck.”

I take him back in my mouth and hum as I slide my mouth back and forth. 

“Come here.” His voice is breathy; a little strained in his throat as I reach my face up towards him.

“Hush,” I press one palm to his chest to prevent him from stopping me. “Don’t rush me,” I add.

Jamie grunts, somewhere between frustration and relief, as he relinquishes the last of his control to me and decides to let me have my way with him. I reach around and pinch his arse, which causes him to thrust against my mouth. “Ugh, Sassenach. I’m sorry. I don’t want to be rough with ye.”

I groan. “It’s fine. You know I like it rough. It feels good, Jamie. Let go.”

With my cheek pressed to the inside of his thigh, I breathe on him, which causes him to moan. I steal another look up at him and press my lips to his skin.

The further I take him, the wetter we both get. I play with grip and speed and depth, registering how his breath hitches or his spine twitches, or his hips clench with each change.

I like the soft little moans that creep out of him when the head of his cock slides down the back of my throat. In and out, in and out, torturously deep and slow. But I’m already finding it challenging to keep my greed from getting the best of me. I want to savor every taste along the way, but I also really just want to devour him. I tease with soft licks, worrying his seams with my tongue until every part of my mouth finds every part of him. Long, flat swipes up and pursed lips back down.

I want to feel the power of his release rock through him, into me. I gradually raise the intensity and feel him rise with me. And now, with his fingers all wrapped up in my hair, encouraging me to hold this desired rhythm, I’m losing track of my resolve. Another time, I might swat his hand away and insist he let me challenge him. Right now, I’m pleased to get caught up in loving him.

“Fuck,” Jamie groans just above a whisper, “I’m going to come soon, I—”

My cadence doesn’t waver; I squeeze his thigh in one hand and tug his balls with the other as I suck him just deep enough again, again and again, until I urge him over the edge and take every last drop of what he has to offer.

When his grip falls limp, I move up, so I’m looking at his face as I wipe his dripping essence from my mouth. I think Jamie’s eyes are closed, though I can’t be sure—he’s hiding them with a forearm draped over his face. His chest rises and falls as he reclaims his breath and mumbles obscenities under it.

He has no idea how beautiful he is at this moment. I run my wet fingers over his lips. He licks them clean before peeking out from behind his arm at me. My giggle is cut short when he turns me away from him. I feel the warmth of his chest against my back as he pulls my leg back over his hip and nuzzles into me.

I groan softly and reach my arm back to massage his scalp; loving how he melts into me even with the simplest of touches.

He kisses me and groans when he tastes himself. Jamie moves back and lifts my nightgown over my head. Once my arms are free, he pulls me close and moans loudly when his hand cups me and feels how much I enjoyed pleasuring him. I whimper as he takes my mouth again and runs his fingers through my wetness. 

I reach between my legs and grab his cock and start to rub it in my folds as Jamie massages my clit. “Sassenach, is this position good for ye?”

“God, yes, Jamie. Please, fuck me.” He gently enters me and pulls me close. He holds my hip and starts a slow rhythm. “Mmmm. Whether it’s in my mouth or inside me, I love your cock, Jamie.”

Jamie groans, “My cock loves your pussy and your sweet mouth.”

I realize Jamie has learned over the past year to talk dirty like I do. It’s so hot. He arches forward and slides his tongue in my mouth, which makes me dizzy as he makes love to me above and below. 

His pace quickens, but he holds himself in check. I know we both want to be rougher, but we need to be careful. I’ve learned to love slow and deep.

I start to whine as Jamie drives me closer to orgasm. “Ahhhh, Jamie. Please touch me.”

Jamie massages my clit in tight circles. This is one place where he can be rough without risking anything.

I grab his arse to pull him closer to me. “That’s it, babe. Right there.” Jamie groans loudly in my ear and kisses my mouth as we climax simultaneously. My pussy contracts hard against him through his release. Our kiss ends with us both panting. 

“Fuck, Sassenach. Please wake me up any time like that.”

“Don’t worry; I will. God, that was good. I never knew how much I liked it slow.”

“Me too.”

We give each other one last kiss before we part. Jamie runs into the bathroom and brings a washcloth to clean me up. He helps me adjust my pillow as we fall back into a deep sleep.

_______

Saturday afternoon has me on the couch in our living room, surrounded by friends and family for our babies’ shower. The men in attendance were standing back; none of them had ever attended such an event since they typically only include women. 

While everyone was eating the delicious pie and cake made by Mrs. Crook, Jamie hands me gifts to open. 

The first one was from Murtagh, and it was a double baby carrier that would allow us to carry one baby in the front and another on our back. I was a little emotional, remembering Murtagh was initially worried that Jamie and I got together too quickly. “Thank you, Murtagh.”

“Yer welcome, lass. I couldn’t find one that allowed ye to carry all three so,” he hands me another package. “I bought you a sling to carry the third baby. Ellen used one of these with Jamie. She’d carry him around as she tended her garden.”

I laugh. Jamie chimes in, “I can’t wait to take some of the strain off Claire and carry our bairns.”

Next, Jamie unwraps a large package and reveals a baby bouncer from Jenny and Ian.

“Braither, that seat will be a lifesaver with a fussy bairn. However, ye may need to get two more for yer sanity. Ye can adjust the motion from an app on yer phone.”

Jamie stands up and hugs Jenny.

I open the next gift from Mrs. Graham. It includes three adorable crochet hats and booties. “These are lovely, Mrs. Graham. Thank you!” 

Fergus comes over and hands us a large gift bag. “I saved up my allowance to buy these for the babies.”

I smile and pull out three super-soft stuffed animals, an elephant, giraffe, and monkey.

I hear the audience go, “aww.” I hold my arms up, and Fergus bends down and hugs me. I pull him down on the couch and whisper in his ear. “Your brother and sisters will love these. Thank you, sweetheart.”

Jamie kisses Fergus’ head and whispers, “Good lad.”

Fiona and her husband, Angus, give us a baby bathtub, three hooded towels, and washcloths. Dougal, Colum, and Jocasta bought three car seats on our registry, and Geillis and John gift us a large pack-and-go playpen and give me a post-delivery spa day.

By the end of the baby shower, I was ready for a long nap. We thank all of our guests as they depart. Emily stays to help clean up the kitchen while Jamie helps me to our bedroom.

“We got some great stuff, Sassenach. I think we have everything we need. While yer sleeping, I can put everything away in the nursery.”

I lean in and kiss Jamie. “Thanks, darling. Help me with the pillow, will you?”

Jamie positions the pillow while I lay on my side. He rubs my sore back and lulls me to sleep.

The next thing I know, Fergus is waking me for dinner. Jamie decides we can eat in our room since he wants me to rest. I’m quiet while we eat because I’m very uncomfortable. Jamie sees me fidgeting.

“Sassenach, why don’t you lie back. He fluffs the pillows and gently pushes me back. He props a pillow under my feet and moves the table close to me to finish dinner. 

I whisper thanks in his ear, trying to hold back my tears as he goes back to his seat. The position feels much better. 

I see a worried look on Fergus’ face as he looks at me. “Mama, are you sick?” 

“My back has been bothering me, and when you’re pregnant, you have these things called hormones in your body that can make you emotional and feel like crying for no reason.” A tear slips down my cheek when I finish talking. 

Fergus rushes out of his seat and wipes my tears, and gives me a gentle kiss on my cheek. “I’m sorry you feel bad. I can rub your feet. My friend, Katie, said that helped her mother when she was pregnant with her baby brother.”

I rub my thumb over Fergus’ jaw. “Thank you, sweetheart. You always know how to make me feel better.”

He goes back to finish his meal. I see Jamie watching me with equal concern in his eyes. I try to calm myself to finish my food and not worry my two boys further.

Fergus delivers on his promise and massages my feet. I giggle when he tickles my feet. “Fergus. You can press harder, and maybe I will stop laughing.”

He smiles and follows my direction. I am in a better mood when he finishes. “Come here and give me a hug.”

Fergus squeezes me tightly and cuddles with me while watching some funny videos on YouTube before Jamie sees him to bed.

After Fergus is tucked in for the evening, Jamie comes and sits beside me. He holds my hand and puts his fingers under my chin so I will look him in the eyes. “Sassenach, how do you feel?”

“Super tired, and it’s hard to get comfortable.”

“How about I go get the pregnancy cushion, and I can attempt to massage yer lower back?”

“I would love that, Jamie.” I learn over and kiss him. 

He goes downstairs to retrieve the cushion that had arrived that day. He helps me remove my clothes and get situated on the pillow. I groan because the position immediately relieves some tension in my back.

Jamie comes out of the bathroom with my favorite lavender oil and begins my massage. I start to cry because it feels so good.

Jamie hears me and stops to check on me. “Don’t stop, babe. These are happy tears.”

He continues to knead my muscles, and I drift off to sleep. I wake the next morning, laying on the pillow at the opposite end of the bed. A blanket covers me. Unable to get up by myself, I call for Jamie. 

He comes out of the bathroom in a towel and kisses me good morning. Jamie gets on the bed to find the leverage to roll me off the pillow onto my side. 

“How’d ye sleep Sassenach?”

“So good. I did not wake at all. I may have to sleep like that every night. Do you think it’s okay for the babies?”

Jamie leans over me and rubs my belly. “Aye, anything that makes ye feel good is no harmful to the bairns.”

I look at the clock and see we have some time before Fergus needs to get up. I pull off Jamie’s towel and wrap my hand around his length. My other hand traces down Jamie’s chest. 

He groans loudly. “What do ye need from me, Sassenach.”

“Kiss me.” He brings his thigh between mine and leans in to run his tongue over my lips. I open my mouth wide, and I moan as he thrusts in my hand.

I open my thighs. “Touch me. Please.”

He begins rough circles around my clit. I start to pant and whine when he enters me with two fingers. My hand moves to massage his balls as he leans in to retake my mouth. 

His thumb continues the massage as he adds another finger inside me. I bite his lip as I shatter, and he covers my mouth to capture my scream. My rhythm on his cock increases, and I feel him come with a groan on my stomach. I rub my fingers in his seed and bring it to my mouth and suck on them. I moan when I taste him.

Jamie moves his fingers from me and places them in his mouth. We end in a hot kiss as we taste each other. I’m breathless when he finally withdraws and see his half-hard cock and wish we had more time. 

“Tonight, babe. I need that inside me. Please.”

“Mmmm. I’d never deny ye, Sassenach. Ye own it and can do whatever ye want.”

“I can’t wait to service you properly after these babies are finally out of me. God, I miss riding you so much.”

“Ugh. Ye’re going to make me come again with just yer words. Let’s get ye up and showered before I ravish ye.”

By that afternoon, I’m miserable. Geillis and Jamie were too busy to visit, and Fergus stayed at a friend’s house this evening, so I had no company. I let Emily leave early because she was not feeling well. 

By the time Jamie gets home, I’m in a foul mood. He came into the bedroom to change. “Why are you late? I’ve been waiting to see you all day.” Tears of frustration were streaming down my face as I try to catch my breath. I was pissed for no good reason.

Jamie came over to the bed and held me. “I’m sorry Sassenach. I had an emergency at the end of the day. Where’s Emily?”

“She’s sick and left hours ago. I’ve been alone most of the day.”

“God, ye should have called. I would have had Jenny or Mrs. Crook come over.”

“I wanted you, Jamie.”

He rubs my back as I cry on his shoulder. I hear him speaking Gaelic to me. The one sure way he can calm me.”

“I’m sorry, Jamie. I’m a hormonal mess, and I feel like crap.”

Jamie’s worried eyes find mine. “Is it yer back or something else?”

“It’s everything and nothing. I need these babies out of me, Jamie. I don’t think I can take it anymore.”

“Hush, love. Ye just have to carry them a bit longer. The longer they stay inside, the healthier they’ll be when they do arrive.”

“I know. Just hold me, Jamie. You always make me feel better.”

He changes my position on the bed to lay on my side. Jamie lays behind me and rubs my belly. “Whatever ye need, Sassenach. I will do it.”

“I could not get comfortable to sleep today, so I’m tired. Can we take a nap before dinner?”

“Of course. Would it be okay if I change into my sweats?”

I nod and sigh when his warmth leaves me. I berate myself for being nasty to this sweet man. He’s only gone a few minutes, but I can’t help but cry. I feel so stupid and out of control with my emotions.

He’s back behind me, sliding his arm under my head and the other one back over my belly. He asks me to breathe slowly with him. I feel my heartrate even out, and soon my eyes close. Two hours later, I wake as Jamie massages my belly. 

Jamie squeezes me tightly to him. “How are ye doing, Sassenach?”

“I feel better. Thank you for napping with me.”

I turn, and he gently kisses my lips. “I’m sorry, carrying our bairns has been so hard for ye. It’s difficult for me to see ye in pain. I truly wish I could take that all away fer ye.”

“I know you do. We’re in the home stretch now. Dr. Stevenson told me if I made it past 30 weeks, that was good. I secretly have a goal to get to 34 weeks, like somehow that is the magic number where all of the babies will be okay.”

Jamie wipes some stray tears from my eyes. “Ye’ve done great, Sassenach. Only two more weeks, and ye’ll be there. I promise I’ll make sure not to have another day like this. But, please don’t let yerself be alone again. Something could have happened.”

I nod and lean in for another kiss from him. “Are ye and the babes hungry for dinner?”

“Yes, do you think we could get pizza?”

“Sure. Let me place an order.”

Later that night, Jamie lays in bed with me as we eat pizza. Once I finish my third slice, I belch, and Jamie laughs. I’m mortified but giggle along with him. “Ugh. Jamie, I feel like a pig. Why did you let me eat so much?”

He stares at me. “Sassenach, I’m not getting in the way of ye and yer food. I feel like ye could kill me in my sleep if I did.”

I shake my head. “I can barely move, so how would I do that?”

“I meant metaphorically, with yer look.” I glare at him, and he says, “Yup, that one.”

“I’ll be okay. I just need to let the food settle. You know what I’ve been craving?”

“Ye mean besides pizza?” I smack him. “See, that’s what I mean. Ye still can hurt me Sassenach.”

I laugh. “I really want some lemons.”

“Ye mean like lemonade?”

“No, I just want to eat a fresh lemon. Do we have any?”

“Not sure. Let me check the fridge.”

Jamie comes back in and shows me two lemons. He throws one at me, and it hits my right boob.

“Ow, Jamie. My breasts are not happy at the moment.”

“I’m sorry, Sassenach. Bad aim on my part.”

I let it go and ask, “Did you bring a knife?”

In a weak voice, he says, “No, be right back.” 

He runs down the stairs and comes back with a knife and some paper towels. He refuses to give me the knife, claiming he’s afraid what I’ll do with it.

He hands me a slice, and I eat it and moan. He makes a face at me as he gives me another piece.

When I’m done, I pull him in for a kiss. I can tell he doesn’t like the sour taste in my mouth.

“Jamie, I was thinking about what you promised me this morning.”

“Huh?”

I put my hand on his cock. “You told me this belonged to me.”

I see the gleam in his eye. “Aye. What do ye want to do with it?”

“Well, I want to try being on top.”

He stands on his knees. His cock already hard under his sweatpants. “I would like that too.” He pulls off my shirt and leans in to suck on my nipples. I push him away. “They’re way too sensitive these days, sorry.”

“No need to apologize. I want ye to feel good.” He pulls off my leggings and underwear, and I pull down his sweatpants and take him in hand.

He pulls off his shirt and pushes my hand away so he can lay down on the bed. He puts his arms up to help me straddle him. “How do ye feel?”

“Horny, but I’m not sure I can manage anything in this position.”

“I have an idea. I was reading online about the best positions in the third trimester.” Jamie gets up and helps me off the bed. “Let’s get in the bathtub.”

He leads me to the bathroom and gets into the tub, reclining against the back. He explains, “You can get in and do reverse cowgirl. I’ll have leverage here, so you don’t have to move too much.”

Jamie sits up and helps me into the tub. I sit on him, so my back is on his chest.

“Sassenach, ye can lean back and then hold onto the tub when ye’re ready.”

I lean back on his chest. He rubs my belly and then moves his fingers between my legs. He slowly slips through my folds. I can feel his hot breath on my neck and his hard cock on my thigh. I groan loudly and decide to use my dirty words to move this along.

“Oooh, Jamie. Slide your big cock against my pussy.” He grasps his length and glides it back and forth across my lips. I gasp when his tip catches my swollen nub at the top of each stroke. 

“That’s it, baby. I want to come like this. Can you wait to be inside me?”

“Sassenach, I’d do anything ye want right now. How close are ye?”

“Close.” I place my hand on him, so his cock is pressing harder where I need it. I limit his movement, so he focuses all of our effort on my swollen clit.

I arch my head back and whine, “Right there. Right there.” I let go of him as I start to shake with my release.

He breaths out and grabs my arms as we both try to calm our heart rates down. 

“Good boy.” I lean up and brace myself on the bath. My hand grabs hold of Jamie’s cock and push it down to my entrance. “Now, Jamie.”

Jamie thrusts up and quickly slides in. He starts with a slow rhythm. My head falls back, and I start to moan at the delicious friction he’s causing. 

Oh my god, this angle is incredible. “Aaah, Jamie. Shit. I’m so close.” He slides seamlessly in and out, in and out. “Mmmm. Jamie, faster.”

His thrusts are shorter, but his pace quickens. I start to pant uncontrollably and speak nonsense. I feel like I’m having an out of body experience. The sensations are building, and I feel that tickling pressure and know what’s about to happen. 

Jamie starts to pick up speed as he pants behind me. He moves a hand down to circle my clit, and I come like a rocket. I mean a literal rocket, as liquid streams out of me. My whole body spasms, and my thighs shake uncontrollably.

I feel Jamie’s length slip out of my body.

“Christ, you just made me squirt again. You’re a fucking God, Jamie Fraser. Please don’t stop. I need to come again.”

I groan loudly as Jamie thrusts slowly inside me. “A Dhia, Sassenach. Ye so fucking wet.” Leaning as far forward as my belly will allow, I feel Jamie pull apart my cheeks. He surprises me by pushing a finger inside my arse as he thrusts slowly. 

Breathlessly he asks, “Is this okay, Sassenach?”

“Mmmm. Jamie, don’t stop.” He pushes his finger in and out of my arse, and I move back and moan loudly. He slowly fucks me with his cock and finger. I can’t believe how good this feels. I hear him groan and know he’s close. 

“That’s it, Jamie. Fuck me.” He adds another finger and starts to move quickly with his cock. He screams my name as I feel him spurt warmly inside me. He continues to move until he feels my contractions around him.

He removes his finger, and I fall back on him as he puts his arms across my chest to hold me tight. He kisses my temple and turns my head for a lingering kiss. Looking in my eyes, he asks, “I ken we never did that before. What did ye think?”

“Fuck, Jamie. It was unbelievable. No one’s ever touched me there. I had no idea it would feel that good.”

“Ye, ken I love yer arse. That’s been a fantasy of mine for a long time.” 

I laugh. “Help me up. I want a quick shower before bed. 

Jamie helps me in the shower and into my nightgown. He notices me smirk. “What are ye smiling about Sassenach?”

I shake my head. “I never would have thought that pregnancy would spice up our sex life.”

Jamie laughs and gives me a sweet kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure how posting will be as this story makes its way to its conclusion. I only have one more chapter written so I may be posting less frequently until I educate myself on newborns.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for the big event.

The next two weeks of my pregnancy are difficult. I’ve gained 40 pounds, and I’m finding it hard to get comfortable. I’ve been beyond grumpy and I can barely stand Jamie to touch me.

At my weekly OB appointment, I ask Dr. Stevenson if we can schedule a c-section since I’m at 34 weeks. The news from here was disappointing. 

“Claire, I’m happy you made it this far. Let’s see if you can hold on for one more week.”

I nod my head without hiding my disappointment. In the car, I break down and cry, and Jamie holds my hand as I catch my breath.

“Sassenach, ye’ve done so well, and I’m sorry ye feel terrible. Please let me ken what I can do for ye.”

I just shake my head and cry. During the drive home, I attempt to reel in my emotions. Fergus does not need to see me this way. 

Entering the house, I see Emily helping Fergus with his homework. I kiss him and let them know the babies are doing well. Exhaustion has hit me hard, so I ask Jamie if he can help me upstairs. He lifts me and kisses my head on the way up.

He lays me gently on the bed. “Do ye want me to see if John can come and give ye a massage?”

“No, I don’t want anyone to touch me right now.”

He steps back from me and looks confused over what to do next. I attempt to get off the bed, and he quickly comes to assist me. “I need to go to the bathroom and then sleep.”

I hear him pacing as I sit on the toilet, silently crying. _Come on, Claire. Pull yourself together._

When I come out of the bathroom, I see Jamie has placed my preferred sleepwear on the bed. He stands close by but recognizes I need some space.

I sit on the bed and start to undress. I look at the concern in Jamie’s eyes. “I’m fine, Jamie. Why don’t you go and spend time with Fergus while I take a nap?”

He nods but waits until I’m settled before taking his leave. 

That evening, Jamie decides not to wake me for dinner. Probably hoping I would be in a better mood. Fergus comes in to kiss me goodnight, and I fake a smile as I hug him. Jamie enters and brings me some spaghetti, meatballs, and broccoli, placing it on the table and sitting by me in the bed. 

“I’m not hungry at the moment.”

“Is there something else ye want to eat?”

I push the table away and lay on my side away from him. “No, I want to sleep.”

He gently rubs my back, and I stiffen at his touch. Pulling away, he pleads, “Can ye at least drink some water?”

I make no sound, so he comes around to face me. “Please, Sassenach. It won’t be good for the bairns if yer dehydrated.”

Grabbing the bottle from him, I lean up on my elbow and take a few big gulps before handing it back to him. Falling back down, I close my eyes tightly.

I feel his warm hand smooth my hair back from my forehead as he leans in for a kiss. I hear him remove the tray of food and walk out of the room. I feel guilty about my behavior, but I’m finding it difficult to cope at the moment.

I doze on and off for the next hour. When I wake, I see it is only 10:30 pm, and Jamie is sitting on a chair by my bed reading one of my pregnancy books.

“Hey, Sassenach. I was reading that stretching can be excellent fer ye. Maybe we can try a few of these exercises.”

I squint my eyes at him to try and make sense of what he said. I close my eyes again as tears flow down my face.

“Oh, mo nighean donn. I’m sorry if I’ve upset ye.”

I hold out my hands, and Jamie grabs them. This man is my lifeline, and I’ll never let him go. “I’m crying because you’re so sweet, and I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

I see him smile for the first time today. He leans in and gives me a tender kiss. “Ye deserve the world, Sassenach. I brought ye up a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in case ye’re hungry.” 

“Mmmm. That sounds good.” He helps me sit up and places two sandwiches in front of me and a big glass of milk.

I eagerly eat while Jamie talks with me about what he learned in the book. I interrupt him. “Jamie, is this new peanut butter? It’s the best I’ve ever tasted.”

He laughs. “Nope. It’s the same we always use. The book says yer taste buds change during pregnancy. Ye’re fortunate ye are not one of those poor women that have dysgeusia, where everything tastes metallic.”

I nod as I start my second sandwich but grab my stomach. “Ye alright, Sassenach?”

“God, yer babies sure can kick Jamie. Damn, that hurt.”

Jamie places his hand on my belly and feels the kick. “Maybe they really like the sandwich.”

I rub the spot a little longer and take a sip of milk. “Or they want something different.”

He smiles, “A lemon maybe?” 

“Not today, darling, but I wouldn’t say no to chocolate ice cream and some chips and salsa.”

“You want that separately or together?”

“Hmmm. I was thinking separate, but together could be good.” I see him make a face, and I laugh. “Of course, I meant separately. Do you think I’m that gross?”

He shakes his head but races downstairs to bring me a small bowl of ice cream and a handful of chips. When I frown, he says, “Let’s see if ye’re still hungry after ye eat this.”

He laughs when I can’t even finish what he brought me. After I brush my teeth, Jamie helps me do some stretching. He pushes on my back to help deepen my stretch. It feels so good that I immediately roll on my side and hug my pillow. 

Jamie gets into bed and leans over to kiss me goodnight. “Jamie, can you move the pillow behind me so you can hold me tonight?”

He moves around and pulls me close. It’s been so long since we’ve spooned. I melt into his embrace and hum when he rubs my belly. “Thank you for being patient with me, Jamie. I know I’m not pleasant to be around.”

“Dinna fash, Sassenach. I love ye more each day and thank ye for doing so well carrying our bairns. I ken it’s not easy, and I’m proud of ye, lass.”

I turn my head and pull him in for a kiss and whisper, “I love you too, Jamie.”

I sleep well for a few hours and then get up to use the bathroom and pace a bit. Jamie is up to rub my back and pull me back to bed. Ever mindful of the doctor’s orders.

Jamie reluctantly leaves me in the morning. I hear him tell Emily he’s concerned that my time is near. I hope he’s right because I feel close to bursting.

The day passes slowly as I work with Emily to create a list of things we still need. I unpack and repack my bag for the hospital. I message some women from a Facebook pregnancy group for multiples and discuss their experiences in the NICU.

Jenny stops by and drops off some supplies I requested her help with, including nursing bras, breast pads, formula to supplement my breast milk, and a baby medical kit. 

“Claire, I brought you this basket for yer post-partum care.” I smile and look in the basket and see heavy-duty overnight pads, sitz bath soak, stool softener, a postpartum girdle, and nipple butter.”

I pulled Jenny into a hug. “Thank you so much.”

Jenny nods. “I ken how hard it is to have one baby. Now the lass at the store told me the girdle is good for women who have c-sections.”

Jenny spends a few hours with me before she leaves to pick up the kids. Jamie stops by after work before going to pick up our new car. He traded in our smaller SUV for one that has room for eight. The dealership helped him install the baby seats.

We sit down at the table for a rare family dinner downstairs. My mood has been better today, and I’m counting down the days until my next appointment.

“Mama, when will the babies arrive?”

I rub my belly. “Soon, I hope. Are you excited to be a big brother?”

“Oui. I have loads to teach them.”

“Aye, ye do. Yer Mam will need all of our help once they arrive.”

______

The next morning, Jamie drives Fergus to school in the new car. I decide to stay in my pj's all day and binge _Schitt’s Creek_. I so needed a comedy today, and I love Moira.

Geillis pops by for lunch and reports Jamie is tied up. “Hen, I found this new lotion that I read is good for stretch marks.”

I take the bottle and put some on my hands. “Mmm. Lavender, my favorite.” I rub some on my big belly. 

“God, Geil. I feel like a fucking house.”

“Aye, Claire. I never thought I’d see ye so fat.”

I punch her arm. “Ow, ye cow. Listen, lass, ye’ll be back to yer thin self in no time. All of the weight ye’ve gained is in yer belly. How ye did that on bed rest is beyond me. Ye have some good genes.”

“I hope you’re right. I’ve read some horror stories online where women need to have surgery to deal with loose skin after having triplets.”

Geillis uses her hands to measure my belly. “I think ye’ll be fine. Ye’re tall, so the babies have more room.”

“From your lips to God’s ears.”

“So, is Jamie ready for the delivery? He finds it so hard to see ye in pain; I wonder if the lad will pass out.”

“I hope not. If all goes well, I will not be feeling any pain.”

“Ye should be grateful to have a c-section since that way ye will not be dealing with any tearing down there.”

“I guess, but I’m not looking forward to the scar.”

Geillis realizes she’s late and needs to run off. I spend the remainder of the afternoon thinking of gifts for Jamie’s birthday. It’s only a few weeks away, and I owe him for dealing with all of my mood swings. 

That evening I go to bed before Fergus but am up again when Jamie turns on the shower. The babies are pushing on my bladder, so I struggle to get up to use the bathroom. On my slow walk to the toilet, I double over in pain. I take some deep breaths to calm myself. 

The shower is still running when I open the bathroom door. “Hey, Sassenach, ye couldn’t sleep?”

I sit on the toilet and grab my stomach, which is cramping again. Jamie appears before me all wet and leans down to look in my eyes. “Ye okay, lass?”

“Not sure. My stomach has been cramping.”

He lifts me to pull up my nightgown. Thankfully there’s no blood.

“I think we best get to the hospital. Let me get dressed and wake Fergus. I’ll call Ian to come and pick him up.”

I shake my head and don’t move as he runs around. Once the pain passes, I get up and move into the bedroom to change. I pull on some loose sweatpants and a t-shirt. 

Jamie runs back into the room and sees me on the bed. “Any more contractions?”

I rub my belly. “No, help me put on my socks and shoes.”

He does as he’s told and hands me some water to drink. I try to calm my breathing. A sleepy Fergus comes into the room. “Mama, are the babies really coming?”

“I think so. Come and sit by me.” 

Jamie runs downstairs when he hears the doorbell. He yells up to Fergus that Ian is here. Fergus stands to leave but turns back and hugs me tightly. “Good luck, Mama. I hope the babies come soon. Tell them all about me when they get here.”

“I will, sweetheart. Be good for your aunt and uncle.” 

“Always.” I kiss him on the cheek.

I hear Jamie run up the stairs. “Sassenach, yer bag is in the car. Ye ready to go?”

“Help me to the bathroom so I can pee.”

He helps me sit down on the toilet. “Jamie, please grab my phone and the iPad.”

I finish and flush the toilet. Halfway down the stairs, I am stopped by a strong contraction.

“Jamie, I need to sit.”

“No, Sassenach. We need to get ye to the hospital.”

He carries me to the car and buckles me in.

After taking a few cleansing breaths, Jamie starts the car. “Ye’re going to do great, Sassenach.”

As Jamie drives, I keep telling myself _Everything is going to be okay. Soon we’ll have our three babies_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am grateful for everyone who has stuck with my first fic. I can't believe I have 29 chapters and over 100k words. I never thought I could get there. Thank goodness for everyone who has left me kind feedback. You made this possible. I'm also happy to see new readers who have found their way to my writing. 😘


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